NotesFromCaitlin: Don't expect too much on this, okay. It was just an idea I had. A slightly stupid one. I didn't even really read over this. I just kind of wrote it and posted it. But if you like this and would like to see more (i.e. some of the stuff I talk about after the story at the bottom), please let me know. Otherwise I'll just shove the ideas away and let them rot. And yes, I know, it does seem kind of YA novel-ish. But I don't care. So hah.
Update: I've gone through this, thrown in a little more make-believe future lingo, and fixed the tense issues where I caught them. I've also written a second chapter for this now, which I should be posting before the night is done. If I haven't posted it soon please assume I've fallen into the youtube tunnel and that I'm still watching let's plays. Please also assume that I'm a terrible piece of shit, because I am. Enjoy again!
Dedication: Sonya. Because whenever I write Itachi I think of you and it encourages me.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except a sleepy, cuddly kitten.
Kisame had once had a book that described moving at high speeds as the world rushed around them, but Itachi had been modified at an early age to be able to keep up with extreme speeds and process what he was seeing at a higher rate than others. The buildings that he sped past were noted in his mental map in finite detail, despite the fact that the air being pushed into his face by the speeds of the buzzcycle was forcing his eyes into slits. He missed his goggles more than ever, but he also missed the clips that had been holding his hair into braids; now when he turned some of his hair struck against his face, the pain slight but persistent. However he could not waste brain power on whimsical wishes for personal affects, for all his brain power had to be bent toward the layout of the gridcity below and before his. What wasn't spent on the gridcity's layout needed to be turned toward creating an escape plan, since the pursuit that licked at his heels like an eager puppy was coming closer with every passing heartbeat.
Or at least his pursuers seemed to resemble the dogs in the old cartoons Kisame hoarded on their ship's motherboard. Their intelligence was questionable, their persistence bordered on obssessive, and they absolutely refused to leave him alone. He felt his thought process start to branch out, his brain jumping on the tangent as he started to wonder what an actual dog would be like. The thought twitched, grew, and then expanded until he was wasting brain power on what dogs had been like when those cartoons had been created; did they smell and what they smelled like, how large had they grown, each question spawning more until Itachi was forced to shut it down with pain. He tilted the buzzcycle he was piloting so that he caught his calf against a windowsill as he shot by.
It was one of the many windowsills in the gridcity that had a current running through it, to keep the vermin off. Itachi had chosen it for that specific reason, as he knew the model was one of the brands that had extra strong currents generated so that the vermin foolish enough to land on the sill would die instantly. The pain was enough to cry out, the air forced into his mouth causing him to choke momentarily. But as the pain flared he felt his mind sharper, closer to full capacity than it had been, but not quite.
He didn't have much longer. He had to escape. He tightened his grip on the controls, thankful that his bodily functions had yet to start failing him. All he had to do was lose his pursuers and he could get the poison in his veins taken care of before it wrecked his system completely. But until then he was an easily distracted mess of perfectly engineered destruction piloting a damaged buzzcycle at speeds that would have acquired the attention of the gridmonitors if they hadn't already been on his tail.
Tail? He didn't have a tail. Would having a tail have helped him escape? What would it feel like to have a tail?
He gritted his teeth and fought the urge to become distracted once more. He should have expected they would use a poison like this, one specifically engineered to keep prisoners distracted so that their escapes were sloppily and easily stopped, but he had been foolish. Now it burned through him until his heart shuttered and his mind was a monster he hardly recognized.
This time when he clipped himself against a building's electric edge it was by accident. He hissed, careful to keep his mouth shut this time, and drew his arm closer to his side as he hunched farther over the cycle. He wished again for trivial things, this time for a helmet, but even more than that he wished for the capability to turn around and catch a glimpse of the people behind him. His wish only doubled at the sound of a crash as one of their pursuit crafts supposedly followed his path a little too closely and crashed into the building. But that was only a guess, a guess with a 23% chance of being incorrect, a chance he wouldn't have bet on even if-
He swore gutturally through gritted teeth. He needed to lose them. He forced his eyes open more and fought to pay attention to his surroundings. The edges of the ritzy buildings with their shiny chrome surfaces were just ahead of him, meaning there would be more cameras, more people, more risk. He needed to lose them now.
Or maybe they needed to lose him.
Itachi leant forward, pressing the nose of the cycle toward the ground. The buzzcycle dove like one of those supposedly comical birds in Kisame's cartoons- stop thinking about those cartoons, you need to focus, focus focus focus focus focus foc- and Itachi felt himself fall victim to gravity. He fought to keep from toppling headfirst over the bike- cycle, not a bike, bike is a silly, ancient term, don't use it, why did they even call it a bike, wait, stop, you need to focus, focus focus focus focus focus- and he tightened his legs around it, holding his breath to keep from choking as air pressed against his face and up his nose, choking him, smothering him, and then-
He yanked up, fingers scrambling at the controls. He used to be able to do this without blinking, without pausing, without the vicious jump of his stomach as it fought to leave his body, but the poison was destroying him, taking his brain from him and without his brain he was nothing, he was just a man and men didn't win in this world, in this life, how-
The rear engines hit the ground. His attempts at straightening the buzzcycle hadn't been timed correctly and the jolt steadied him, focusing his brain once more. Pain. He needed more pain. He needed an escape. He took a corner too fast, too low, and the heat from an exhaust pipe on a nearby building scalded his skin. The pain sparked his brain and with it an idea was born. He twisted his fingers along the controls, tightened his legs around the device, and pointed the cycle toward the nearest sewer hut.
Uchiha Itachi, most wanted criminal in all of the southern country of Fire, and one of the most intelligently engineered human beings in the entire world, spared only one glance back at the dozens of police pursuit crafts racing after him. A small, bitter smile curled his lips as he drew closer to his target. He had one last thought before the buzzcycle crashed into the exhaust hut and he lost control.
Acidic sewage was said to sting in open wounds an awful lot, wasn't it?
NFC2: Okay, so. I had an idea like. Six hours ago? IDK. Anyway. I was like. Futuristic Naruto! Where there are robots and genetically engineered people! Like. Kisame is engineered with enhanced shark genes! And they're supposed to be soldiers (like the ninjas in actual Naruto) but, well, because I have a super awful crush on all of the Akatsuki, it's mostly centered around them. And how they become a thing and rebel. Because I said so. And this was supposed to be longer and involve Sakura (because ItaSaku is the best, suck my strap on, okay), but I didn't wanna time jump in this. So. Maybe there will be more. If I can make the words come. But just think about it guys. Sasori hacking and controlling robots instead of puppets. Kisame's weird shark genes affecting his hunger. Sakura having undergone advanced strength programs to master the power to level buildings with a punch to become the Ultimate Weapon when Naruto crumples after Sasuke leaves. (SAKURA INTERACTING WITH ITACHI IN FUTURISTIC SETTINGS.) Okay, okay, shutting up now, goodbye.