Hey Y'all. Bumbling Mage's Apprentice here with a self insert in mass effect. I know it's a cluttered genre, but I read Mass Vexations and Masses to Masses and couldn't help but feel inspired. I doubt I'll do as well as Herr Wozzeck or iNf3ctioNZ. But I'll give it my best shot.

I own nothing except myself and my OCs. Bioware owns the Mass Effect franchise.

"Urg..." I groaned as I sat up, hand going to my forehead as I felt the reverberating pain of the headache I always got when I finished my exercises. Telekinetics were never easy to perform and always left the practitioner with a headache the size of Kansas. It was about the time that I opened my eyes that I detected something out of the ordinary.

Namely the small metal cubicle I found myself in.

The cubicle was at most five by five feet in size. I sat on top of a rather uncomfortable bunk that took up the south wall of the room. A combined toilet and sink occupied the north wall. And to top it all off, I was wearing some kind of white, form fitting jump suit with a big "Subject 24" emblazoned across the right breast. My normally unruly blonde hair had been given a buzzcut. Running my hand through my hair, I found several surgical scars adorning my scalp.

Shit.

Immediately I delved into my mind and searched for damage. Running through my own neural pathways while trying to find obstructions or damage.

I found several additions to my pain centers as well as something connected to my hormonal glands. It was nothing life threatening, nor was there anything in the old cortex that had suffered major damage.

A sudden hiss pulled me from my mental evaluation and back to the conscious world, my optic nerves coming back online to reveal that the west wall was sliding open to show several men and women in heavy looking black, white, and yellow armor. Two guys in the front had riot shields and large mace-like weapons that crackled with electricity. One of the men behind them held an impressive futuristic rifle. The women next to him had lighter armor and a much bigger rifle. The last woman of the group had a pistol on her belt and blue light dancing around her hands. The rifle guy stepped up.

"Alright 24, we've got a long day ahead of us, get out of your cell." He ordered even as the riot officers flared their shock mauls threateningly.

Not seeing much of a choice in the matter, I slid off my prison bunk and stepped out into the hallway. The rifle bearing soldier pointed with his weapon down the hallway, also made entirely of metal. I set off with a slow saunter, which ended quickly as the rifleman smacked me across the back with the butt of his gun. Propelling me face forward to the floor.

"Get moving 24, we don't have all day." The rifleman barked.

So I got to my feet quickly and moved off at a decidedly faster pace.

I was rather harshly directed down several corridors before finally reaching some sort of lab area. At this point the two riot officers set their shields aside and grabbed me by the arms. I didn't resist until I saw where I was going. An operating table with a metric fuck-ton of surgical equipment and a number of metalic looking... things. Various boxes and wires that I didn't want anywhere near me. So naturally as they tried to get me to the table I resisted with all my might. Kicking, screaming, hell, I even managed to get a bite in. Which got me another hit from an assault rifle stock, this time to the back of my head.

I woke up just as they finished strapping me down to the table. A man in a lab coat came into view from my left.

"Is the subject secured?" He asked the soldier who'd taken it upon himself to deliver punishment with a rifle butt.

"Yes sir, he's all yours." The soldier responded.

"Splendid." Lab Coat said happily as he pulled a syringe from a nearby tray and filled it with a viscous glowing material.

"I don't suppose that's anesthetic?" I asked, finally managing to find my voice.

"Oh heavens no. This should heighten your pain threshold immensely. You'll never need anesthetic for anything short of a heart transplant." Lab coat said cheerfully.

"I don't suppose it dampens pain at all?" I asked hopefully, dreading the answer.

"Nope." Lab coat chirped as he jammed the chemical-filled syringe into my neck. Dispensing the strange goop into my veins, where it ran like liquid fire.

It was all I could do to keep from screaming.

Then Lab Coat started the surgical gear.

I did scream then.

Eight hours later, or so I was told. The riot officers were dragging my immensely weak body back to my cell. They came to my cell and tossed me in, ignoring the pained groan forced out when I landed on my recently surgically modified rib cage. I was in constant, agonizing pain as the bones in my rib cage soldified and fused together.

A number of the bones in my upper torso had holes drilled into them. With some weird tonic injected directly into the marrow. From what little I could gather from my chipper torturer, I would replace lost blood at a much faster rate. Provided I survived the genetic rewrites they were forcing on me. My rib cage had a second serum injected into it. Which would, given time, solidify it into calcified armor protecting my vital organs.

Two of the strange little boxes had been implanted into my body(While I was still conscious mind you.). Apparently acted as adrenaline distributors, allowing me to maintain the flight or fight reaction for three times as long as normal. Tomorrow they were going to upgrade my heart and circulatory system so that my veins wouldn't burst whenever I triggered the flight or fight reaction. The day after my lungs would get a boost.

So far it seems I'm being turned into some kind of super soldier.

But the question remains. What is this place? And how did I get here?

Thanks for reading the first chapter, I should have the next out within a day or two, and it will be longer. Oh and feel free to review, anything you people can tell me about writing self inserts I would really appreciate.