I am so upset with Jaime after the last episode. Hopefully he can redeem himself, and this is how I want him to do it.
Jaime sat closer to the fire while Brienne slept. He wasn't cold, her room was never cold, but something inside him made him uneasy. He loves Brienne with everything good and clean inside himself. The soft snowy recesses of his heart would always be here in the north with her, but the dark humid knarls of it beat for Cersei. His unmitigated love for Brienne hadn't ended that. Certainly he had meant it when he swore to stay with her.
He wanted to climb back into her bed, and work into her until he collapsed, sated for only a moment, because his body's constant hunger for her touch would not be quieted. The problem was that she was here, safe, and warm while Cersei was facing certain death. His child would die in her belly having never know the light of day.
If not for his son he would never want to see Cersei again. She had twisted him to be a monster along side her since the day she was born. He had felt himself grow to hate her for that, the way one could only hate someone once loved. He could feel it though, feel himself doing the same thing to Brienne. He had already taken her maidenhood with no talk of wedding her.
Every touch left his mark on her, like the welt on her collarbone. He was like a filthy hand of fresh linens. He got to his feet, he had to make one final attempt to save her, and honestly he needed to leave before he did to Brienne what Cersei had done to him.
She followed him, and every word from her sweet lips broke his heart. She took him by the chin, and forced him to look into her beautiful blue eye, already swimming with unshed tears.
"You're not like your sister, you're not! You're better than she is! You are a good man, and you can't save her, you don't need to die with her. Stay here, stay with me, please! Say!" She begged him, truly begged. If he had told her to get down on her knees she would have. He had never been loved the way she loved him, and everything good in him aches to stay with her. She said everything he had ever wanted to hear from the woman he loved, and he did love her, but she didn't know him.
"You think I'm a good man..." He dredged up every foul thing he could recall doing at that moment, based the worst of himself. He forced her to see the side of him that she had never inspired, or brought out in him because that was the part of him that got on that horse and left her. He could hear her sobbs as he rode through the gate, they would haunt him until the day he died.
He might never see her again. He hoped he didn't. He hoped he had done enough to convince her not to follow him, because he needed to know she was safe. She was the best thing in this world that he had ever touched, and he desperately needed her to live so something good could have come from his life.
Brienne didn't fall to her knees, she didn't cry for hours, once the few broken sobs escaped his lips she ground her fists into her eyes until the tears stopped, and went back to her room. She packed her things, and donned her armor before going to wake Podrick.
"Sir?" His voice croaked, still heavy with sleep, and she could see a woman in his bed.
"Come out into the hall Podrick." She drew Oathkeeper, the guilding of the lion biting into her palm with the force of her grip. Portico did as he was told, closing the door.
"You are no longer a squire, you fought bravely on the battlefield, and despite still having room to improve you embody a knight as much as any of us. Kneel." She tapped the ground with her blade.
"Sir? Are you okay?" He finally took in the state of her, she shook her head.
"Kneel." She nodded to her sword, and he knelt on front of her. Her voice grew right as she said the words Jaime had said to her not so long ago. She looked away as tears fell without her consent.
"I need you to come with me to speak with our Lady Sansa." She the to walk away without waiting to see if he would follow.
"My Lady, I am very sorry to disturb you at this hour, but it is a matter of some urgency." Brienne said as soon as Sansa opened her door. She looked between the two, Brienne's eyes were shining, and rimmed in red while Portico stood disheveled, and confused.
"No apologies are needed, what happened?" She asked the question, but she already knew the answer, only Jaime could put her in such a state.
"Sir Jaime has left to plead with Cersei to surrender. He believes he can stop the bloodshed, but I believe she will kill him on sight. I would like leave to go after him. She Podrick will remain here to fulfill my oath. I know I swore to stay be your side my Lady, but I can not in good conscious let her kill him, or worse yet wrest information on your brother's forces from him. I vouched for him, he is my responsibility." The look on her eyes told Sansa that she would leave no matter what she said, people did stupid things for love.
"Go, find him, and don't come back until you've done all you can." She said, Brienne let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. The words were nothing to Sansa, she knew they were only her speaking what Brienne would do regardless.
"Thank you my Lady." Brienne charged towards the stables.
"That was kind of you my Lady." Portico gave her that goofy smile of his while trying to stifle a yawn.
"It was not done as a kindness, can you honestly say she would have obeyed if I ordered her to stay?" She pulled her eyes from the hall Brienne had disappeared down.
" No, she would go to the ends of the earth for Sir Jaime. " Podrick certainly couldn't sent that.
"The ends of the earth, no, she would do that for any one of the people she cares about, it's simply who she is. No, for Sir Jaime she would go to the seven hella and back. She would do horrible things to save him that she would never dream of doing for anyone else. She would be a monster for him, and I pray he dies before she finds that out for herself." Sansa shook her head, sad for her knight protector, still so innocent undo many ways.
"My Lady!" Roddick went wide eyed, Sir Jaime might not be her favorite person, but how could she wish that on Brienne.
"I know, you all see how good she is for him. Every good thing that man has ever done has been for her, but that does not excuse the monstrous things he did before, and may yet do again. She is good for him, but he's not good for her." Sansa turned and closed her door, leaving Podrick in the cold hall alone. He sighed, she would never see the way Jaime lit up Brienne's face, the way he pulled her out of her shell, and let her enjoy her life for the first time. Podrick knew she would save him, and he would be here so she could focus on what mattered.
Jaime's tears froze as They fell into his armor. His face was red, and fridged along the salty tracks, but he could not for the life of him make them stop. He kept the reigns around his golden hand because any time his other one touched them he would turn his horse around. He rode through the night almost every night because he didn't trust himself not to turn back.
He also didn't want to sleep. Every time he closed his eyes he would see Cersei burning, his child still in her belly, Dragon fire melting her flesh as it had his men. If he rode until he couldn't stay in his horse he at least had a chance at sleep. Sleep brought dreams of Brienne. Dreams of her wanton hands all over his body, of her lips on his cock. Dreams of her laying in his arms, half asleep, with that adorable smile on her lips. Dreams of her words, so sure that he was a good man, and the way her sweet face twisted into desperate sobs.
Dreams of her were almost worse. At least his fears for Cersei, and his son would soon be put to rest one way or another, but he would likely die before he saw Brienne again. He forced his horse faster, only to have it fall out from under him. He shielded himself with his golden hand as he flew towards the ground. He rolled over, and a small blade was thrust in his face.
"What the fuck are you doing here Lannister?" The Hound towered over him beside Arya Stark, who held the sword.
"I am on my way to King's Landing to try and end this." He swatted the sword away with his golden hand, and scrambled to his feet to check on his horse.
"End it how, by fucking your sister into submission? Weren't you supposed to be busy with that big globe's count these days?" The Hound chuckled to himself, Arya tried hard to hide her smile, Jaime put his hand on his sword.
"Her name is Sir Brienne, and I have no intention of fucking Cersei. The only way this war ends is if she's out of the iron throne. If she dies, so does my unborn son. " He whispered honesty his only option at this point. He wanted to save his sister, because he still loved her, as much as it pained him, as much as it paled in comparison to how he loved Brienne, he still loved her, but he didn't think these two wanted to hear that.
"How exactly do you plan to get into King's Landing?" Arya sheathed her sword, and went back towards their fire.
"I plan to go in the front gate. The guards will take me to her as soon as they see me." Jaime ran his hand over his horses legs to check for injuries . It seemed fine, but it would be wise to let it rest.
"Right, because they won't just chop your fucking head off." The Hound sat down beside Arya, further from the flames.
"She probably sent assassins out already. If you make it to her, she'll probably kill you as soon as she sees you." Arya rolled her eyes at him, Jaime frowned , remembering his encounter with Bronn.
"What would you suggest?" Jaime sat across from them, they looked at each other for a moment, some kind of silent conversation taking place.
"You could come with us, we have other things to do before we look for Cersei. If you were quick you might even have a chance to save her." Arya said, Jaime frowned, but he didn't see many other options.