Disclaimer: This is a fanwork created for fun. Thete is no profit being made.
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This entire story is told in the words and voice of Harry Potter.
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I have never cared much for my birthday. My uncle and aunt always ignored it and while my friends used to send me presents once I started going to Hogwarts, I never got to see them or have a party. So it became just another day and it has stayed that way, despite the fact that Molly has insisted on throwing a party for me at the Burrow for the last few years...
It was nice to have Molly fuss over me and to have all my friends gather just to wish me well. I did enjoy those parties, but no matter how hard I tried, I felt like an outsider, more so because I was nearly always the only one who was single, the only one without a date. And that is going to be the story this year as well. Though this time around it's Hermione who's hosting the party. Molly and Arthur are away in France to help Bill and Fleur who are about to have their third child.
A thought that draws another sigh from me. All my friends seem headed for marriage or children while I am still single. I have had my share of dates and relationships over the last few years, but nothing that worked out. None of the men I had dated had ever felt right.
Maybe that is because you've been crushing on a special blonde someone, my brain informed me helpfully.
I felt the usual denial springing to my lips, but I squashed it. What was the point of lying to myself? Yes, I do have a crush on Draco and I've had it for the last three years, ever since we worked on one of my books together. Draco is an artist, an illustrator and when my publisher wanted to bring out one of my books in graphic novel form, he decided to bring Draco in.
This was nearly seven years after the war and we'd both moved past our childish rivalry, so I didn't think we'd find it difficult to work together and I was right. But what surprised me was how easily the book came together. Draco and I had similar ideas for the book and though the artistic and design aspects of it were his domain, he was surprisingly open to ideas and he amazed me with the quality of his work and his total devotion to his art.
I didn't expect to find him funny and charming and I certainly didn't expect him to be friendly. We got to know each other while we worked on that project and I developed a massive crush on him, but I couldn't do anything about it because I was in a relationship at the time and so was Draco. We got to be good friends though and we ended up seeing a lot of each other even after our work on the book was done and my feelings for him only got deeper.
This very naturally interfered with my relationship with Brian. Being around Draco made me see what I really wanted and I couldn't go on pretending to be happy in a relationship that had never been anything more than comfortable. Brian was a nice guy, but he didn't challenge me and there had never been a great deal of passion between us. What we had was comfortable but neither of us saw a future together so we decided to go our separate ways.
Draco on the other hand, was obviously happy with his boyfriend, a fact that hurt no end every time we ran into each other and we ran into each other a lot because it was just around that time that all our friends got married to or began dating each other...Ron and Pansy were the first to get together, though Theo and Hermione were the first to get married and then Blaise and Ginny got engaged...it was Slytherins and Gryffindors everywhere we looked.
We would have been the perfect addition to that list. Heck we should be at the head of that list. But it wasn't to be. Draco was in a relationship and he seemed to be happy and that was that.
I sighed as I stood in front of the mirror and took stock. The black trousers and the green button down shirt looked good, smart even. Though I would have preferred to wear my jeans. But Hermione had been very specific in that regard.
"It's your party, Harry. You should make an effort at least," she had said.
It was nice of Hermione to go to all this trouble for me, but I was honestly not in the mood to party. I was immersed in my next book and all I wanted was to stay home and write. I was at that stage where everything was coming together and I just didn't want to stop writing. I had got so absorbed in my work that I hadn't so much as stepped out of my house for the last three weeks. Which was another reason Hermione wanted to host a party for my birthday.
I appreciated her concern, but I was in no mood to attend yet another party made up entirely of couples, all of whom would no doubt want to set me up with someone or the other. I sighed. I am twenty eight years old. I honestly thought I would have my life all sorted by now...
My only consolation, if you could call it that, was that Draco would not going to be at this party. He was in France where he was working on his latest project. He'd been gone for eight months now and I hadn't heard anything from him in all that time. The thought stung but it was my own fault. I was the one who'd started keeping my distance.
It had got harder and harder to be around him when I knew that he was with someone else and I had resigned myself to one day hearing news of his wedding. But Pansy had told me a couple of weeks ago that Draco and Emile had split up, a fact that I found hard to believe. They had seemed so perfectly happy with each other. Maybe Pansy was mistaken, but that wasn't possible, surely. She was his best friend...
Knowing that Draco was now single had relieved me somewhat and I had considered getting in touch with him. But what was I going to say? "I'm sorry I ignored your owls and pushed you away. Can I take you out to dinner?" I didn't see that going down very well. Besides, even if he did forgive me, there was no reason to assume that he would be interested in me...Damn my stupid heart!
I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts. I really did not want to be thinking about this now. I didn't want to show up at my own birthday party looking miserable. I put on my shoes (no sneakers! Hermione had told me firmly) and I went into the living room, checked the wards and Apparated. I landed in Hermione's garden which was very prettily decorated with small, coloured lights hanging from all the trees.
There was a table under a big oak tree and plenty of chairs scattered about. It was a warm summer evening and the sun was still up. The garden was the perfect place to have the party...Hermione was at the table arranging the flowers and the napkins. She looked up the moment she heard the crack of Apparition.
"Happy Birthday, Harry!" she said as she came over hugged me. Theo came out of the back door just then, carrying the plates. He came over and wished me too. Hermione handed me a glass of wine, led me to a quiet corner of the garden and told me to make myself comfortable while she made the rest of the arrangements. I stood there, leaning against a tree, sipping the wine and feeling grateful to Hermione for her thoughtfulness.
It was obvious that the rest of the guests had arrived. I could hear the sound of voices and laughter coming from the house. I knew I should go in and join them. After all, they were here to celebrate my birthday. But I was still feeling a bit abstracted and out of sorts and I was glad Hermione hadn't urged me to go into the house and meet everyone just yet. I needed a few minutes to collect myself and the wine was definitely helping with that...
I was startled when I heard an all too familiar voice behind me. "Penny for your thoughts, Harry." It was said softly, but I would have known that voice anywhere.
"Draco!" I said as I turned around. I knew very well how much I adored the man, but the joy I felt at the mere sight of him surprised me.
"Happy Birthday, Harry!" he said, smiling that beautiful smile of his and then he leaned forward and kissed me on my cheek.
I was stunned and I stood there blinking stupidly while he pressed a package into my hand.
"Open it," he said softly.
I wanted to thank him for the gift, I wanted to apologise for pushing him away, I wanted to tell him how glad I was to see him...I wanted to say something, anything even remotely intelligent, but I couldn't get my mouth to work, not when he was looking at me like that, his expression a mixture of fondness, mischief and desire...desire? That's not possible. I must be imagining it.
He reached out and caressed my cheek. I sighed and leaned into the touch. I had no clue what was happening. In fact I was reasonably sure that I was dreaming because things like this don't happen to me...
I must have said that out loud because Draco chuckled. It was such a lovely sound. "It's not a dream, Harry," he said in that delightfully posh voice of his. "Open the gift," he said again.
I fumbled with the ribbon and the wrapping and I got it open somehow. It was a book. I had already figured that out, considering the size and the shape of the package. But it wasn't any old book. I was the first book I ever wrote, a book of children's stories, each of them beautifully illustrated. I stared at it unable to believe that Draco had remembered and that he had cared enough to do this for me.
"It's a special edition, just for you," he said.
"It's gorgeous," I said. I can't believe you remembered..."
"Of course I remembered. It was our first real conversation and you were so passionate as you talked about this book and how you wished you could get it illustrated properly..."
I honestly didn't know what to say. I still hadn't wrapped my head around the fact that Draco was actually here, at my birthday party. He had apparently forgiven me for cold shouldering him just as we had become friends. He'd brought me a wonderful gift that must have cost him hours and days of work and he'd kissed me...it was just a peck on the cheek, but still. My head was reeling.
"Thank you," I said finally.
"Anything for you, Harry," he said in that wonderful voice of his as he stepped closer to me. He ducked his head and looked me in the eye, looked like he wanted to say or do something. We were standing close enough to kiss and it was all I could do not grab him and kiss him stupid...
I don't know how long we stood there just looking at each other. I had missed him terribly and now he was here, saying and doing things which he'd never done before, looking at me like I was the most precious thing in the world...
We were interrupted by voices, laughter and some very suggestive throat clearing from our friends.
"Started the party early, I see," Pansy said smirking.
"They look so cosy. Maybe we should just leave them to it," Blaise said.
"If only we'd come out a minute later...we'd have seen them kiss." That was Ginny sounding all enthusiastic about seeing me kissing Draco.
The rest of them laughed. I was still a bit dazed. I did get the feeling that we had been on the verge of a kiss, but now I wasn't so sure. Maybe I had imagined it...I felt my insecurities returning. Seeing Draco so suddenly had brought all my denial crashing and I was faced with the sheer depth and intensity of my feelings for him and I was scared.
I looked at Draco as we walked up to the table. I don't know what he saw in my face, but he reached for my hand and held it in a warm, reassuring grip, not letting go, until he absolutely had to.
Hermione brought out the cake. Everyone wished me and gave me my gifts and then we all sat down to dinner. Dinner was the usual noisy affair and I did my best to join in, but I couldn't quite focus. Draco was sitting next to me, his leg resting very deliberately against mine. He would turn to me every once in a while and he would lean in and say something sweet and funny...he was so adorable and so charming. I didn't want to look at or talk to anyone else, really.
He waited until everyone else was occupied in conversation with each other and then he told me about his break up with Emile. "We had a good relationship, but I wasn't in love with him. I had got used to him, but I simply didn't feel the kind of passion that I felt for...that I should feel for my partner...He asked me to marry him and...I just couldn't. Not when it was obvious that he didn't love me either...Not that he was ready to accept that. It got a bit messy, to be honest but..." Draco finished with a shrug.
He didn't have to say anything else. I had been in that situation myself a couple of times. So I nodded in understanding and changed the subject.
"When did you come back to England?" I said.
"Last week. Pansy told me not to tell anyone that I was back and Hermione thought it would be a nice surprise if I just showed up for this party. So..."
I looked up and saw Hermione watching me for a reaction. It was clear that she and Pansy had conspired to set this whole thing up. They both knew how much I cared about Draco and I could see them sitting him down and explaining everything to him...which is why Draco had felt free to kiss me and touch me like he had.
"Thank you," I said softly. Both Hermione and Pansy heard me. Hermione smiled while Pansy looked insufferably smug. I'm sure Draco heard me too, but I didn't care. Not when he was holding my hand under the table and running his thumb in gentle circles along the back of my hand...
Once dinner was done we moved the table and the chairs to one end of the garden and created an impromptu dance floor while Theo set up the music. Once the music started, all our friends reached for their partners and started dancing, ignoring us completely. That was probably Hermione's doing too.
Draco and I looked at each other for a moment. Then he held out his hand. I took it and we walked over to the other side of the garden, now glowing in the light of the setting sun. We sat down on the grass, leaning against a tree and watched the sunset. We were still holding hands and though there was lot to talk about it was nice to just be together, enveloped in the silence of a lovely evening.
Draco let go of my hand and then he put his arm around me. I turned to look at him and there was that look again, fondness mingled with desire...I had been uncertain earlier, but now I was sure that I was reading him right. I tilted my head up and we kissed. It was soft and a bit tentative at first, like we were trying to get a feel of each other.
Then I licked the seam of his lips, he opened his mouth and that's when the kiss got hot and wet and bloody amazing and before I knew it, I was in his lap, with my arms around him, kissing him with all I had. Draco responded in kind. He had one hand around my waist and the other tangled in my hair and he held me in a delightfully possessive grip as he kissed his way down my jaw and my neck until I was mewling with pleasure and wanting more, so much more. But this was not the time or place as we realised quickly enough.
We pulled out of the kiss and sat there with our foreheads resting against each other as we fought to get our breathing under control.
"I knew it would be amazing," Draco said. He sounded every bit as awe struck as I was.
"You've been imagining too, huh?"
"More times than I care to confess," he said. Then he lifted my chin, so I was looking at him.
"I love you, Harry," he whispered.
"I love you too."
We sat in silence for a while just holding each other and trying to wrap our heads around everything that had just happened.
"I've loved you for a long time," I said after a while. "Ever since we started working on that book..."
"Hmmm...three years then."
"Yeah," I said, feeling a bit vulnerable.
"I've been in love with you since we were eighteen," he said calmly. "Ever since you saved me from that fire...never thought you'd want me, though."
I was astonished. I felt like such an idiot. Why had I not seen it, why had I not seen him for what he was? All those years, all that time...
I ran my fingers through his hair and made him look up. "What a lot of time we wasted," I said softly
He smiled. "At least we figured it out now..."
"Yeah." I had tears in my eyes that I wasn't ready for him to see. Though I think he knew about them anyway. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight...
We joined our friends after a while and we danced long into the night, holding each other close, finally in step with each other. We'd got it wrong so many times. But now at last we were exactly where we were meant to be...
