A/N: This fic came about as a request from my best friend, and also from a conversation in which I admitted that I firmly believe Mercedes has a ND harem. I hope you guys enjoy it as well.

Disclaimer: I don't own glee.

Warning: This has little to no plot, just a lot of smutty goodness and is very AU. It will be a series of one-shots that kind of tie together. It also has femslash and threesomes, so if you're not down with those this story ain't for you.

Chapter 1: It's Brittany, Bitch

One thing Mr. Schue liked was duets. He'd assigned us another set of duets and our partners were picked at random. I'd gotten paired with Brittany. I was cool with that. Of all the Cheerios, I could honestly say that Brittany had never wronged me in any way. She'd never stepped to me with any disrespect. She was just sweet and lovable Brittany. When we'd gotten paired together, she was jumping up and down with excitement.

"I got Cedes, bitches!" The girl danced around the room, gloating.

I laughed. "Britt, is it that serious?"

"Everyone wants you - even if they won't admit it."

"You mean everyone wants to sing with me?"

"Yeah, okay," the blonde agreed, still dancing around. "Wanna come over tonight for Fondue for Two and then we can pick a song?"

"We can do that, but don't be mad if I don't eat the Fondue." Her face fell and I quickly added, "More for Lord Tubbington, right?" She shot me a blinding smile then and I was glad that I had smooth things over with her.

That evening I'd picked a few songs that might suit both Brittany's voice and mine. I was mentally preparing myself for Britt's particular brand of crazy when I knocked on the door. She answered the door, still as excited as she was earlier. "Cedes!" she greeted.

"Hey girl. So what are we talking about for the show?"

"The show?"

"Fondue for Two?"

"Oh Lord Tubbington ate all the Fondue before you got here. He knows I'm not happy with him. He's supposed to be on a diet."

"I'm sure he'll try harder to be on his best behavior," I told her for lack of something better to say.

Britt led me to her room, and she told me she had the perfect song for us to sing. She started playing the song and it had a nice beat. I was sitting on her bed and she pulled me up to dance. At first we were dancing back to back, then Brittany turned, grinding up against me. I'd grinded with the girls before at parties so this was no big deal until I felt her hands grab my ass. She then gripped my hips and pulled me back against her. Brittany started singing the lyrics low in my ear. "We can be polite, when we know they're watching. But I want you like that. Yeah, I want you like that." Her breath caressed my neck and caused me to shiver. She came around in front of me, and she wasn't wearing that childlike smile anymore. Her smile was almost predatory. "Say you're just a friend, I'm a little liar. When we play pretend body is on fire, 'cause I like it like that." Her body was pressed up against mine, her hands on my ass giving it a squeeze.

"Brittany," I stepped away from her. "What are you doing?"

For every step she made forward, I made two back until my knees hit her bed. I didn't have anywhere to go because Brittany was standing in front of me. "Come here closer, don't be shy. Cross my heart and hope to die. Keep the secret me and you, and seal it with a kiss," she sang, caressing my face before her lips met mine.

"You're so pretty, 'Cedes, and your ass has its own fan club at McKinley. I'm the president. I've always wanted to touch it and smack it," she murmured against my lips.

What world was I in and how did I find myself in this predicament? I was too stunned to even move. Little Britt-brat had just kissed me and was dirty talking me.

"It's okay to kiss me back, Cedes. I won't bite unless you want me to. Do you want me to?" Brittany's lips traveled down up my jaw line and down the side of my neck. She bit me experimentally, and shockingly I liked it.

Brittany smiled at the involuntary moan that came from me. Her lips met mine once more. "It's more fun if you actually participate. Please?" She started to pout. Her hands went to my breasts, and I gasped as she gave them a squeeze. "Your tits feel amazing, Cedes. Can I see them?" she asked before her lips went back to my neck, alternating between sucking and biting. With every bite, she gave my breasts a firm squeeze. The action felt so good that my back arched to give her better access. "Can I?" she asked once more, punctuating the question with a squeeze and a bite.

"God yes, Brittany. Yes." It slipped from my tongue automatically and it was all the go ahead she needed to lift my shirt over my head. She undid my bra like she was unwrapping a gift on Christmas day. Her eyes lit up.

Brittany's hands immediately went out, palming my breasts. For a few minutes she was just fixated, jiggling and kneading them. Her hands soon fell away only to be replaced by her mouth. Brittany's tongue alternated between circling and flicking over my nipples. Wetness was pooling between my legs as she kept up her teasing. The little devil even started nipping at me. This went on for what felt like forever. It was almost torture. Brittany wasn't touching the place that now ached and throbbed, practically begging for some attention.

"Lay down, Cedes," she demanded, her voice taking on an air of authority I'd never heard before. I didn't give in to demands that easily. It would seem though that I didn't have to. Britt pushed me backward. Once I was flat on my back, she licked up the length of my stomach. She nipped her way back down, latching onto my jeans with her teeth and tugging. Now, I have to admit that was hot as hell. "Can I go to Disneyland?"

I rose up on my elbows to look down at her. "Disneyland?"

"Cedes, I know your pussy is going to be like a ride I never want to end, just like at Disneyland."

"Well then get on it, damn it. The sooner you get on that ride, the sooner you get me off." I was in desperate need of some relief.

She grinned at me, placing her hand between my legs. My hips rose at her touch. Just a single finger began to trail up and down the crotch of my jeans. It wasn't enough. I needed more. The ache was persistent, and the throbbing need more prominent with ever pass. Up and down, up then down her finger trailed. "Please, please,God! Touch me. Take off my jeans and panties and touch me," I whimpered.

Britt made quick work of my button and zipper. I lifted my hips and she snatched down my jeans and underwear. Without warning, she spread my legs and jammed her fingers inside me. "It's Brittany, bitch, remember it because you're going to be screaming it on a loop."

With her fingers pumping in and out faster and faster, her lips trialing kisses up my inner thigh, and my own hands teasing my nipples, I felt like I was on cloud nine. Everything felt amazing. Every touch and caress elicited a wave of pleasure. When her tongue flicked over my clit, my hips jerked and my hands tangled in her golden tresses. "Britt!" I screamed.

"Close, but not quite." She looked up at me with a mischievous smile.

Over and over her tongue flicked and swirled. She licked and sucked on my sensitive bundle of nerves, causing my hips to rise off the bed. That didn't thwart her. She just hooked her arms around my thighs, holding me in place. My body was shaking with her relentless attack. It was as if it were saying, "fuck the building waves. This is a damn tsunami". I was quickly unraveling.

"Fuck, Brittany, fuck me! Shit!" I screamed over and over, riding out the tsunami.

I was still shaking even after she stopped touching me. I pulled her toward me, wanting to taste myself on her tongue. My hand moved up her Cheerio skirt and she stopped me, shaking her head no. "Today was Cedes appreciation day. Tomorrow before we practice our duet, we can do it again, and I'll teach you how to appreciate me."

We both sat up and she handed me my clothes. I redressed and made my way to the door. As soon as my hand was on the door knob, Brittany smacked me hard on the ass. When I turned back to look at her she was jumping up and down with giddiness. "I can't wait to tell the fan club!"

"Brittany! You are not! Wait, who exactly is in this club?"

Her smile faded and her face was stone serious. "First rule of WWIDTDA is never to talk about it."

"What are all those letters?"

"It's the name of your fan club - what would I do to dat ass. Sam came up with it." She clamped a hand over her mouth. "I've said too much," she mumbled through her hand.

"Bye, Britt, I'll see you tomorrow." I was shaking my head. This girl had to be lying.

"Cedes?"

"Yeah?"

"Does this mean you're a bi-corn like me and Rachel?"

"A bi-corn? Like you and – Rachel who?"

The only answer I got from her was an "oops" and a shove out the door. I would never - no matter how much I tried – understand Brittany S. Pierce.

*Nervously biting my nails* So…yeah…what did y'all think? Reviews would be awesome!

Also, can y'all guess who the VP of the "What Would I Do to Dat Ass" Club is? ;)

The song Britt was singing was Seal it with a Kiss by Britney Spears.