Without much motivation for the day, nor the inclination to get up and do anything productive, the coral pink haired girl stared up at the ceiling whilst laying on her bed.
She was having yet another one of her… 'moments' of thought, wondering what she could exactly do today without fucking it up royally for everyone. It wasn't exactly her fault, per say. Her clinical depression made her think negatively about herself for a long time. The fact that her dear friend and secret crush, Anon, didn't seem to want to walk with her anymore made her feel worse, even if it wasn't exactly her fault that he had stopped.
Turning to the side, she saw her table drawer open, her self made noose just barely visible, poking out from the drawer ever so slightly. Perhaps she could just end it all here and now… no one would care… right?
"Pilot Sayori, your serotonin and norepinephrine levels have decreased."
Those words broke the coral pink haired girl out of her trance as she jolted up from her bed, eyes wide as she recognised that voice. Turning to her left and staring out at the balcony window, the girl, Sayori, couldn't help but give a small smile when she saw the single optic of her personal Titan unit, Ion.
"Don't worry about me, Ion…" said Sayori dismissively with a small wave, prompting the Atlas based Titan's singular optic to narrow. "Just… experiencing a minor… erm… wave of laziness!"
"A drop in serotonin and norepinephrine levels is an indication of depression, pilot. My scanners don't often fail me. Please, if you wish to relief any form of Stress, you may speak to me. It is a necessity in order to uphold Protocol 3."
Ion's voice was commanding, which was slightly strange as she was meant to listen to Sayori, her pilot. However, the girl wasn't willing to argue as she stood up from her bed, however slowly, and moved over to change out of her pink shirt and short blue pants and into her standard school uniform.
Right as she was done with putting on her uniform, Sayori paused. Staring down at her blazer, the young woman opted to keep it apart before moving over to retrieve her prized bow. A gift from her old friend Anon… the only real reminder she got of him at this point. The girl bit her lower lip as she placed it onto the top of her forehead, though she did this slowly, unable to feel much as she clipped it onto her messy hair.
"Pilot, your cortisone levels are increasing."
"Eh?! W-What does that mean?!" exclaimed Sayori, getting into character as she raced down the stairs. Turning to her downstairs clock, the girl saw that she was about an hour late for school. Widening her eyes and cursing herself for being such a lazy child, Sayori rushed outside, just in time to see her Titan unit leap over the fence of her house and kneel down by the sidewalk, waiting for her.
Being heavily based on the Atlas Titan, Ion was substantially bulky, though not to the extent of her Ogre counterparts. Standing at about a quarter taller than Sayori's house, Ion's 'face/torso' was more or less a hexagon shape with her single optic poking out the middle, and the armour platings on her limbs were mostly squared off. And, for whatever reason, Ion has four baggies attached to her lower torso and sides of her legs. Sayori took advantage of that and loved stuffing them with food. The girl noted that Ion's Splitter Rifle was still attached to the back of her hip, though she didn't pay it much mind as they didn't really need it anyway.
"Pilot, the fastest way to arrive in school is to embark. We must uphold Protocol 2, Uphold the mission."
The calm OS of Ion have given Sayori her orders, and within seconds, the coral pink haired girl had raced towards the Titan, though not before turning over to Anon's house to see if he was still there.
'You dumbass…' came the voice in her head as she stopped in front of Ion. 'He wouldn't waste his time waiting for someone like you."
And Sayori frowned deeply at that as Ion simply scooped her up into her massive hand before the front of her 'face/torso' popped open to reveal the cockpit. The Titan gingerly placed her Pilot into the cockpit chair and engage her manual systems, though when she realized that Sayori was not interested in piloting her manually today… a strange thing indeed, Ion reverted back to her Auto-Titan state and marched towards Sayori's school
"Pilot, what has happened to you? Your chemical makeup is not often as unbalanced in school than it is at home," began Ion as she gingerly stepped over a car, being careful not to crush it. "You do not need to worry. I will not divulge this information to anyone. I am simply upholding Protocol 3, Protect the Pilot."
Sayori herself felt horrible for making Ion 'worry'. She had no right to worry for her… if anything, Ion was probably wasting her time being her guardian, a foster parent, even. Twelve years of her existence, wasted on protecting her and not Anon… a horrible shame.
"Pilot, your serotonin and norepinephrine have dropped once more," informed Ion. "Shall I notify the closest hospital? I am sure that they are willing to provide medical assi-"
"N-No thank you!" exclaimed Sayori, widening her eyes at the thought of making someone help her. The bow wearing girl chuckled ever so slightly as Ion's vents pushed out some steam, 'exhaling' ever so slightly as she leaped over the gate that barred the school from outsiders, ignoring the cry from the security guard.
"As you wish, Pilot…" came the voice of Ion's OS as she knelt down. There was an oddly irritated edge to her normally calm OS, and even Sayori noticed it, and it made her feel like crap. The girl didn't have time to dwell on this, however, as the cockpit of Ion cracked open, allowing her to leap out onto the pavement, just in time to hear the bell of the school ring, reminding the Pilot and her Titan that she was horribly late for school.
"Gah! I forgot how late I was! I'm sorry for leaving so abruptly, Ion!" apologised Sayori.
The girl would have apologised more if Ion had not told her to "Uphold Protocol 2" and sprint off to class. As she did, Ion found a corner to kneel down and power off in, ignoring the stares she was getting from school members or outsiders.
Mission: Protect Pilot Sayori
Caution: Pilot has been experiencing more frequent drops in serotonin and norepinephrine recently, a common sign of depression.
Define: Depression
…
…
…
Depression: a feeling of severe despondency and dejection.
Conclusion: Pilot Sayori's has an early form of depression. This poses a threat to Protocol 3, Protect the Pilot. I must confide with her on this immediately.
Days since first neural link: 4430 days ago
Signs of depression since neural link was established: None
Replaying memory to ensure accuracy
…
…
…
"Whoa, what's that?!"
That was the voice of my assigned pilot, Sayori, as I landed right in her backyard. Her parents were behind her, as was a young boy who seemed to be around her age.
Odd, the parents and friend of young Sayori seemed to be glitching. Perhaps an error in my software? Unlikely, as Sayori seemed to be fine. I shall save this oddity into into my memory drives for further investigation. For now, I must uphold Protocol 1, Link to Pilot. My systems tell me that the child before me, Sayori, barely three years of age, was my Pilot. Strange… but I upheld Protocol 1 either way.
"Are you the one who calls herself Sayori?" I questioned just to be sure, and the young girl giggled in glee.
"The one and only!" exclaimed the girl, and at that point, her endorphins and dopamine levels had increased, indicating a form of happiness. As for me, I simply followed my programming.
"If so, then congratulations, Sayori. You have just been promoted by the Militia to become my Acting Pilot," I congratulated. The young Sayori jumped up and down in glee despite most likely not knowing what I had just said, and behind her, the child's parents didn't seem to care that she was about to be promoted into my Acting Pilot. Even that boy beside her didn't react at all as I crouched down lower and opened the hatch of my cockpit.
Sayori could only go "whoaaaa" in amazement as she stared at my cockpit. Turning, she asked her parents if she could enter. They gave no response, though she thanked them for an unknown reason before trying to hop in. Unfortunately, my soon to be Acting Pilot was too short to leap in… so I assisted her in climbing into my cockpit. And soon after, she was in the seat.
"Beginning Neural Link," I informed, and Sayori didn't even flinch as I linked her mind to my systems. She simply tapped various buttons and consoles within my cockpit as the link was established. "Neural Link Established. Congratulations, Sayori. You are now the Pilot of IO-4817."
And as I had expected, Sayori didn't seem to know what I meant as she simply laughed inside my cockpit. "Can we go for a walk around town, Mrs Robot?"
Mrs Robot? An acceptable nickname. Storing into databanks…
"I am willing to do so, Pilot," I confirmed, though before I could carry out my first Protocol 2 issued by my Pilot, she stopped me.
"But… can we bring Anon with us?" she pleaded. Turning down, I saw the young, staticy boy who was most likely Anon and, without question, I scooped him up into my hand and placed him inside the cockpit, right beside Sayori, who squealed in excitement. "Thank you Mrs Robot!"
I made no attempt at correcting my Pilot as we initiated Protocol 2, Uphold the Mission.
Memory: Restored
Conclusion: Pilot Sayori has never shown any signs of depression on our first meeting.
Reviewing other memories…
…
…
…
Observation: Sayori has never shown any sign of depression until Anon stopped going to school with her
Conclusion: Sayori is closely attached to Anon.
Time since last visit from Anon: 72 days ago
Reviewing memory banks for 'Anon'
…
…
…
Unable to find any memory in relation to the keyword: Anon
Reviewing memory banks for 'Friend of Sayori' and 'Static'
…
…
…
Three keywords for 'Friend of Sayori': 'Natsuki', 'Monika' and 'Yuri'
Two keywords for 'Static', redirecting to 'Neural Link' and 'Sayori accidentally jamming a cupcake into my Battery Compartment' memories.
Conclusions: Interaction with Anon is low or Anon has been KIA.
Correction: Sayori has spoke to me about Anon 2 days ago.
New conclusion: Anon has not interacted with Sayori for a long time.
Best course of action: …
…
…
…
Best course of action: Invite Anon over to the Literature Club
"Ion?"
'Blinking' her monoeye as her Pilot called for her, Ion turned up and saw Sayori standing before her. The girl had a smile on her face and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in her hands. Not exactly a healthy or filling choice, though her internal clock told her that it was currently teabreak, not lunch, so she did not voice it out.
"It is good that you returned safely, Pilot," said Ion as she lowered her hand down to Sayori, who sat down on it, before she moved Sayori up till she was able to sit on her shoulder. It was a daily ritual, more or less, with Sayori sitting on Ion's shoulder as she ate whatever she had. "How was your day, Pilot?"
"It was… great!" exclaimed Sayori with a mouthful of bread, getting crumbs everywhere as she did. "Mr Cooper gave us no homework and I came in first for PE!"
"Exemplary work, Pilot," congratulated Ion approvingly as she gave Sayori a thumbs up. And from then on, she said nothing, her internal systems conflicting with one another in regards to how she should tell Sayori about her recent deductions…
"Hey… Ion?" came Sayori's voice, breaking the Titan out of her calculations as her monoeye turned up to see Sayori leaning up against her chassis. The girl sounded… sad, almost guilty, when she spoke, and Ion herself felt her serotonin and norepinephrine levels lower once more, half confirming her hypothesis of Sayori's depression.
"Yes, Pilot Sayori?" replied the Titan.
"I just wanted to… thank you for sticking by me all this time…" said Sayori rather solemnly, something that surprised her Titan, this wasn't usually how she spoke, though Ion said nothing about it, opting to remain passively silent as her Pilot spoke to her. "After mum and dad… went away, you never left. I kept thinking you would like everyone else usually does… but you never did… to stay with me despite all the things I get wrong. I know that it could just be because you were programmed to tolerate me… but even so… it's… I'm just thankful for you being by my side through thick and thin…"
By then, Ion felt something wet on her chassis, prompting her to pick Sayori up in her hand and lift her down to monoeye level… only to see that she was crying. The Acting Pilot of IO-4817, the often bubbly and energetic young woman, was crying… and something about it made an internal gear in the Titan click as Ion, as gently as she could, wiped a tear off her Pilot's cheek with her massive index finger.
"I…" began the Titan, only to stop herself when she was about to speak of Protocol 3. No, that would be in bad taste, so she decided to think of something else. "Sayori… you are welcome…"
And Ion simply allowed her Pilot to weep softly in her palm for the entirety of tea break, gently rubbing her back with her index finger to soothe the child every so often. She did think of bringing up Sayori's depression, though she thought otherwise. It could wait for another time. For now, Sayori simply needed to unwind.
Though Ion herself felt rather odd during the whole ordeal, and even when Sayori had left for classes, the Titan couldn't help but feel differently about that young lady.
Perhaps she was more than a Pilot to her…
After school
Ion had waited for seven more hours after Sayori had left for classes after her tea break. The girl was unable to visit her during her lunch break thanks to some sort of festival her club was planning on joining… though Ion didn't mind. During the entire club meeting, Sayori showed an increase in her endorphins and dopamine levels, indicating a sign of happiness, something that put Ion's systems at ease.
By the time Sayori had exited, with Monika, Natsuki and Yuri waving her off and promising to tag along their own Titans in the future, Ion was already waiting by the gate of the school. When she saw Sayori, Ion felt her systems hitch for a moment when she saw that the girl's exhaustion levels were off the charts, enough to make her kneel down and immediately scoop Sayori into her cockpit.
"Sayori, you require rest," informed Ion as she placed Sayori in her cockpit. The girl didn't really answer as she gave a groggy 'ok', and with that Ion initiated a new Protocol 2, get Sayori home.
It took a quarter of an hour to finish that Protocol, and one they got to her home, Sayori exited the cockpit of the Titan and entered her house. Swiftly, she did all she needed to do; homework, a quick shower, brush her teeth, and within an hour or two, she was already in bed.
"Goodnight… Mrs Robot…" muttered Sayori to Ion, who nodded her monoeye from outside her window.
"Rest well, Sayori."
Useless…
It was all useless.
Sayori swam through the thick blue liquid as she felt her lungs slowly losing oxygen. Even though she swam with all her might, the girl found that she could never resurface…
"Useless, you're just so useless…"
Widening her eyes, Sayori turned to her side and saw Monika, floating in the thick liquid alongside her. She didn't seem to be out of oxygen. If anything, she seemed just fine, smirking as she had her arms crossed.
"What good is a Vice President who can't even wake up early, eh?"
No… stop…
Sayori grit her teeth together and began swimming upwards, much faster this time.
"You think you're doing it all right," came Natsuki's voice to her right. Sayori squeezed her eyes shut at that as the shorter girl spoke. "But in all honesty, you suck at your job! You're just making it worse for all of us!"
"Your happy persona is merely masquerading your broken self, Sayori," came Yuri's voice, and Sayori, despite being in an ocean of thick liquid, felt tears roll down her face at her friend's judgemental tone. "We know who you really are, Sayori. An angsty, depressed little teenager begging for attention…"
No… please… stop it… please!
And suddenly, Sayori froze. Right when she was mere inches away from the surface, a familiar, black haired, golden eyes boy stopped her from taking a much needed gasp of air.
"Y'know, I only really said I was your friend because I pitied you more than anything," said Anon matter-of-factly, and at that point, Sayori couldn't even move. She felt herself sinking as Anon approached her, smiling devilishly as her fellow Literature Club members surrounded her. "We all know that you can't do anything right. We're simply pretending to love you, to be your friends… to care for you. No one could care for you, Sayori. No one."
No… please… stop!
"You're worthless!"
Stop it…
"Just leave the school!"
Please!
"That big robot probably just follows you because of its programming!"
PLEASE!
"You oughta just go hang yourself!"
STOP IT!
And suddenly, before she could run out of oxygen, a massive metal hand crashed in from the surface of the thick liquid and wrapped its fingers around Sayori's body. With great ease, it pulled her out of the liquid, where she resurfaced and gasped for air…
"Sayori, you must wake up!"
Screaming at the top of her lungs as she jolted up from bed, Sayori immediately took in her surroundings. No water, no members of the Literature Club, no Anon… and definitely no one trying to convince her that she was worthless. The only thing she saw was her room… and Ion's monoeye peeking in from her balcony window, the bright light of her optic illuminating the room immensely.
"Sayori, your adrenaline levels have spiked," informed Ion, her normally calm OS now sounding agitated as she placed a metal hand against Sayori's house. "You were experiencing a nightmare. Take in several deep breaths and calm yourself. None of it was real."
"I… it… it wasn't real…" was all Sayori could say as she placed a hand to her heart, breathing heavily as Ion had instructed as she began weeping. The girl had several bad dreams in her past… but that was just horrible. Cruel even… enough to make the girl openly cry as her Titan watched on.
"Sayori…" began Ion, prompting Sayori to turn to face her Titan, who had somehow opened up her balcony window. Taking a step back, Ion opened her cockpit hatch and motioned for the girl to step out to the balcony and embark. Sayori was reluctant at first, though after some time she complied.
Once she was in the cockpit, and after Ion had shut it, the Titan stood itself upright and spoke to her Pilot using her internal voice.
"Sayori… perhaps now is a good time to speak of this," said Ion in a tone that was new to Sayori. It… it reminded her of her mother… "I have done many calculations to confirm a hypothesis I had in regards to your mental state, and I have concluded that you are suffering from clinical depression."
Sayori said nothing, though Ion's internal cameras saw that her Pilot was fidgeting in her seat, something that told her that her hypothesis was correct.
"I recommend seeking the aid of a doctor," continued Ion. "There is a hospital half a kilometre away from our current position that is still operational. I suggest-"
"N-No… the doctors need some rest…" argued Sayori, frowning as she hugged her knees. Ion was reluctant to agree, but she complied and stood in silence as Sayori unwinded in her cockpit. After some time, however, Sayori spoke up. "Ion…?"
"Yes, Sayori?"
"Why did you stay with me for the past twelve years…?" asked Sayori, and Ion thought that replying with basic Protocols was a horrid move, so she improvised.
"You are my partner, Sayori," she answered. "My Pilot. Even if I wanted to, I could never leave you."
"But what if you could?"
"I would not."
"But… why…?"
Sayori's serotonin and norepinephrine levels had dropped once more, indicating that she was experiencing her depression yet again, prompting Ion to think of a good answer as fast as she could.
"Because you are an important person to me, Sayori," answered Ion, prompting Sayori to widen her eyes. "While I am indeed a machine and do not experience the same feelings as you, I do not lie when I say that I love you."
"Y-You what?" muttered Sayori, and Ion's reply made her giggle. "You… love me?"
"The human concept of love requires admiration, attraction, devotion, and respect. Conclusion: I am 82% in love," answered Ion. Sayori laughed at that response, and Ion waited for her to calm herself before continuing. "While my definition of love is different from yours, it is still love. And people out there do love you. Monika, Natsuki, Yuri… I am certain that even Anon loves you despite minimal contact."
Sayori simply smiled at Ion's words, though her smile faltered when she thought of something.
"I don't know about Anon though… he doesn't really speak to me anymore…" she muttered.
"I have a solution for that," responded Ion, a response that made Sayori's eyes light up.
"Really?!" she exclaimed in excitement. And Ion swiftly explained her idea to Sayori, who thumped herself over the head for not thinking about this sooner. "I'LL GO TELL MONIKA ABOUT THIS! SHE'LL BE SO EXCITED!"
"Yes, I'm sure she will."
*plays the harmonica* y'know, this was originally meant to be a crack fic, something I'd write just to help me unwind from the stress the other stories and college. But now, we have a fully fledged story… dammit.
So I've been looking into writing a DDLC story for some time. Never had any real ideas until recently, when I was about to go to sleep. This idea spawned up, so I catalogued it and wrote it up within a few hours. It was fun to write… kinda depressing too, but it still works.
This story is, if you haven't guessed, a crossover between Titanfall 2 and Doki Doki Literature Club, two of my personal favorite games. DDLC more for Sayori who is (my personal) best Doki and Titanfall 2 because everything is so hectic. The primary premise is just Titans shoved into the DDLC universe and messing up the game. The story will be following the base plot of DDLC, however loosely, though I suspect that the main plot will only come up after chapter 4. I may as well admit that I do relate to Sayori quite a bit. No, I'm not exactly depressed... I guess it's just teenager angst. Whatever the reason, I simply love the girl. She's just... adorable.
Alright hopefully you enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you guys next time. Adios