Hello my faithful readers! It's been such a long time since I last graced this website with a humor fic and I thought long and hard over something that hasn't been overdone. After watching several episodes of a certain survival documentary on television, I will confess my perverted mind came up with this atrocity.

Thus, please keep in mind the rating is M just because of nudity, cursing and whatnot throughout this story. Now, I present…

Naked and Unafraid

Prologue-I'm Stuck on a Planet with WHO?

A ship entered the atmosphere and crash-landed upon impact on the ground; uprooting trees, dust and debris. Slowly, the door to the spacecraft opened and a short figure emerged from the ship. He wore nothing on his body and the very spacecraft he came in on had immediately shut off without warning. Cursing, the troll-haired humanoid cursed his luck.

"Damn ship… where the hell is my armor and what the fuck is wrapped around my wrists?" Vegeta swore angrily while trying to get his bearings. It was then he realized that there were cameramen surrounding him and he was tempted to blast them when he learned he couldn't even summon energy in the slightest.

"Vegeta, you are on Naked and Afraid, don't you remember signing a contract about that?" the cameraman questioned the Saiya-jin Prince.

"What the hell kind of shit is that? I'm naked, but I'm nowhere in the likelihood afraid," Vegeta growled angrily. "And stop pointing those devices at my ass! I have my dignity and I refuse for you buffoons to stand there gawking while I am not even clothed! If I was able to, I'd kill you all where you stand! Also, where the hell am I anyway?"

"Well sir, you're on Planet Zinia…"

"Great, I'm on a planet I never even heard of with a bunch of idiots…" Vegeta rolled his eyes.

"Actually sir, there's another person besides you since the producers of this series decided to send someone like you here," another cameraman explained.

"Let me guess, a woman," Vegeta thought about being trapped here with any nagging harpy worse than his mate, but quickly dismissed the idea in case she was somehow watching this laughing at his misfortune at this moment.

"Actually, it's another guy," the cameraman muttered.

"What?" Vegeta deadpanned. He was certain he had misheard, but then again, he wouldn't be surprised if Frieza of all people happened to be the other person that joined him on this pointless expedition on this planet.

"Oh hey Vegeta!" a rather cheery and familiar voice spoke. Turning around, he realized this was probably a hundred times worse.

"What the hell? Why are you here Kakarrot?" Vegeta questioned.

"I was bribed to come here with a lot of food!" Goku grinned. "Besides, I think this planet will be fun to explore!"

"Kakarrot, look around, there's nothing but plants and dangerous animals on this planet and without our energy, we're technically screwed," Vegeta eyed the other Saiya-jin's wrists and found the same devices inhibiting his energy. "And for the love of Dende cover yourself!"

"You guys, you should look in your bags and pick one item now that you think you will need to survive the twenty-one day ordeal," a cameraman spoke.

"Wait, we need to survive HOW LONG?" Vegeta was growing angrier by the moment.

"I think he said twenty-one days, that's not too bad…" Goku waved off the other Saiya-jin's concerns.

"Twenty-one days Kakarrot, twenty-one fucking days with you," Vegeta ranted. "I'd rather spend a month shopping with the woman than spend three weeks with you!"

"Aw come on Vegeta! It can't be that bad," Goku attempted to reassure the elder Saiya-jin, but he was not to be coddled by this pitiful excuse to hang around with the Earth-raised one for long periods of time.

"You'd like that, but we're warriors Kakarrot, not tree-hugging pansies running through these forests naked all day long," Vegeta bit back and dug into the bag he had. There were things like a lighter, a container, even a canteen, but he ended up grabbing the machete. "I suppose this will do."

"Oh! I was thinking I should take this," Goku held up the metal container from his bag. "Would be a wonderful thing to cook items in."

"Sure Kakarrot," Vegeta rolled his eyes.

"Grab the cameras from your bags as well," the cameraman noted. Vegeta pulled his out and eyed the contraption before powering it on. Goku on the other hand looked at it quizzically.

"What does this do?" Goku was clueless when it came to technology and dropped it. Vegeta quickly caught the thing.

"Idiot! Be careful with that!" Vegeta warned. He handed the camera to Goku after turning it on for him.

"Hey Vegeta! I can see you in this tiny little screen on the side!" Goku grinned eagerly.

"Duh, that's the point," Vegeta pointed his own camera at the Earth-raised Saiya-jin.

"So, what now?" Goku looked over at the cameramen.

"You two need to introduce each other."

"Oh! My name is Goku!" The younger Saiya-jin chirped happily. "I'm kind of glad to be on this planet with Vegeta and hope that we get to have fun together!"

"We're not going to have fun Kakarrot, we're supposed to survive on this fucking rock!" Vegeta stated angrily.

"Huh… that doesn't sound too hard…" Goku tilted his head. "Well, it's your turn to introduce yourself Vegeta!"

"With an introduction like that, what do you expect? I'm Vegeta, Prince of all Saiya-jins and in case you're wondering why I'm stuck with this buffoon, go f**k yourself."

To Be Continued…?

With the introductions out of the way, it seemed like they were trapped on the planet and had no other choice but to survive. Will our two unlikely contestants last twenty-one days without killing one another? Find out next time!