A/N - A crappy Christmas fic from me! This is my present to you ;)

Arthur trudged home heavily. It had been a long day. One of the students in the Chemistry class he was teaching had blown up the lab. Well, he was exaggerating. But one of his students HAD caused an explosion in the lab. So Arthur and a few other teachers had to stay back to clean up the mess and fix the damage in the lab.

Arthur thanked the heavens that it was the last day before the school Christmas holidays for two weeks, so at least he could get some well-deserved rest before school re-opened once again and he had to face hell all over again.

It wasn't that Arthur hated his job. In fact, he loved it – he liked having to play a part in moulding the minds of the future leaders of the world. But sometimes, his students could be a handful.

It was rather late already, but Arthur took his time going home. He wasn't hungry, as he just had something to eat.

Arthur reached home; he unlocked the door and opened it to a dim light. Yao must have left the lights on for him. Arthur then hung his coat on the coat-rack. Sighing, he kicked off his shoes and slipped into his fluffy indoor slippers. Maybe he could relax with a nice, hot bath…

Arthur switched on the Christmas lights on the Christmas tree he and his family had erected earlier in the month. As the colourful lights came on, Arthur couldn't help a smile from gracing his face as he remembered the chaos that ensued when Hong Kong got himself tangled up in the lights.

"Yao?" Arthur called.

"Hey honey," Yao's voice replied him from upstairs. "Are you hungry, aru?"

"No – I've already eaten."

"Oh, that's good. Because I'm in no condition to cook you anything."

"What? What are you doing upstairs?"

"Why don't you come up and find out?"

Was it Arthur or did Yao's voice have a seductive tone to it?

"You aren't doing anything illegal, are you?" Arthur took a tentative step upstairs. Did he really want to know what Yao was doing upstairs?

"No."

Arthur made his way upstairs. His and Yao's room was closest to the staircase, so Arthur reached it as soon as he reached upstairs.

The room door was not completely closed – it was left ajar. Arthur gently pushed it open.

As soon as Arthur saw what was in his room, his jaw dropped.

Yao was lying on the bed in a suggestive position. He was dressed in a Playboy bunny costume, complete with rabbit ears and tail. His chest area was even significantly larger than usual; Arthur assumed that Yao must have stuffed it to make it look like he had breasts.

Arthur could feel his mouth watering and his pants tighten around his crotch area. "Haa… aa…" he uttered hoarsely.

Yao smirked playfully. "Merry Christmas, darling."

Arthur was still standing at the doorway of the room, staring at Yao in stunned silence.

Yao raised an eyebrow at Arthur's reaction. "Join me?" He stroked the empty area of the bed.

"Yao," Arthur began. But his voice was still rough, so he coughed twice to clear his throat. "Yao," he repeated. "Honoured as I am to screw you into the bed tonight, I am-"

In one swift motion, Yao had lifted himself from the bed and appeared in front of Arthur. He gently placed two fingers on Arthur's lips, silencing the Englishman. "I know, aru," Yao said softly. "You're tired and you don't have the energy for it tonight. I understand – I can see it," he added. "But let me do it tonight. Let me pleasure you." Yao took Arthur's hand and let him towards the bed.

On the way there, Yao drew his face closer to Arthur's and kissed him sensually.

Arthur's legs hit the edge of the bed, and as Yao dislodged his lips from Arthur's, Arthur felt himself being pushed down onto the bed. He fell on his back with a quiet "oof".

Yao swung his left leg over Arthur's body, straddling him. He leaned forward and began kissing Arthur; this time, with tongue.

"Wait!" Arthur gasped in between kisses. "Wait!"

Yao pulled away. "Was that not good for you?" he asked shyly. "Should I-"

"No!" exclaimed Arthur. "That was good. Really good," he told Yao. "I just… I just want to get more comfortable."

"Oh, right."

Arthur grabbed a pillow. He lifted his back to push the pillow behind his back. Then, Arthur leaned back onto the pillow with a satisfied expression.

Yao looked like he wasn't sure whether or not to continue what he was doing. Arthur pulled him down to ravish his mouth.

When they broke apart, Yao was panting. He ran his hands up Arthur's chest and finally rested them on the knot of Arthur's tie.

"Where," Arthur began as he reached forward to finger the costume Yao was wearing. "May I ask, did you get this?"

Yao's mouth curled up into a smile. "The costume shop, aru," he replied.

"Why a Playboy bunny?"

Yao shrugged. He loosened Arthur's tie. "It was the sluttiest thing I could picture myself wearing."

"And these?" Arthur used both his hands to grab at Yao's "breasts". He gave them a tentative squeeze.

Yao pulled Arthur's tie over Arthur's head and threw it onto the floor. "They're part of the costume. Hollow paddings. I can't remove them without destroying the costume, aru," he replied.

"Nice," Arthur commented, grinning.

Yao started to unbutton Arthur's shirt.

As Yao drew his body closer to Arthur's, Arthur tilted his head forward so that his face was at par with Yao's neck. Arthur wrapped his arms around Yao's tiny waist and planted feather-light kisses on the base of Yao's throat.

Slowly, Yao undid the buttons on Arthur's shirt, swaying his hips sensuously as he did so. "Oh, you are so sexy, Mr. Kirkland," he murmured seductively.

Arthur burst into laughter. "Oh my god, that doesn't even sound like you at all!" he stammered in between his laughter. "Please stop that!"

Yao stopped what he was doing and sat back on Arthur's lap. He pouted and cast a hurt look at Arthur. "I'm trying to turn you on, aru!"

Arthur hadn't stopped chuckling. "Just be yourself, love," he told Yao. "I like you best as you."

Yao looked at Arthur. Wordlessly, he undid the remaining two buttons on Arthur's shirt. Yao took the two flaps of the front of Arthur's shirt, thus exposing Arthur's chest. Unconsciously, Yao licked his lips as he cast his gaze upon Arthur's six-pack.

Arthur's right hand travelled towards the base of Yao's neck. He pulled Yao closer to him and Eskimo kissed the Asian man. "I changed my mind," he said so softly that only Yao could hear him. "I really want to fuck you now."

Yao had a smug expression on his face.

Then, a very unexpected thing happened. Well, two unexpected things happened.

The first thing that took place was Hong Kong returning home. He had wanted to greet and inform his parents that he was home. It so happened that Arthur had forgotten to close the door, much less lock it. So Hong Kong managed to catch his parents in a compromising position.

Hong Kong pushed open Arthur and Yao's room door. "Hey, I like, just got home and was wondering… if… you've…" His voice trailed off when he found both his parents about to engage in sexual activity.

"Oh my god!" cried Hong Kong. He brought one hand up to shield his eyes.

"Shit!" exclaimed Arthur as his head shot up to look at his intruding son. He looked like a deer caught in headlights.

It was then the second unexpected thing occurred. A whole lot of Christmas confetti exploded into Arthur's face. Quite a bit of it managed to enter Arthur's open mouth, and he had to sputter to spit them out.

"What the hell?!"

"You guys are my parents!" yelled a shocked Hong Kong, totally ignoring the explosion of Christmas confetti into Arthur's face. "How can you… You still do this?!"

Yao turned around and cleared his throat. "Hong Kong, we are humans and yes, we do indulge ourselves in our carnal desires once in a while," he said with as much dignity as he could muster while wearing a Playboy bunny costume. "So if would be great if you don't mind closing the door and leaving us for a while, aru."

"But you are my parents!" wailed Hong Kong. He slammed the bedroom door shut. He screamed something about how a child shouldn't have to see his parents about to have sex. Then, the sound of the front door banging shut could be heard.

Arthur supposed Hong Kong must have run out of the house.

Yao swivelled his head around to face Arthur. He was very pink in the face. "I'm sorry – I didn't think Hong Kong would come home so soon."

Arthur waved a hand. "It's my fault – I should have locked the door the moment I came in and saw you in… that get-up."

Yao sniggered. "I think we may have traumatised him for life."

"You don't say," replied Arthur sarcastically. Arthur then picked up a piece of Christmas confetti from the bed and brought it closer to his face, examining it. "By the way, what's all these that just blew up in my face?"

Yao turned an even brighter shade of red. "I thought of bringing some Christmas cheer tonight."

"With Christmas confetti?"

"Aren't they pretty, aru?"

"Where on earth were you hiding it?"

"In here," Yao said in a small voice and pointed at the two bumps on his chest. "They felt empty and I decided to fill them up."

Arthur stared at Yao in disbelief. Then, he burst out laughing. "Oh my god, Yao, you are so cute!"

"You're not angry?"

"Why would I be?" asked Arthur in amusement.

"Because I almost choked you with Christmas confetti?"

"I didn't choke!" Arthur countered. "I was just… very surprised."

Yao visibly relaxed.

"Well." Arthur flipped Yao onto the bed so that their positions were now reversed. "I would really like to fuck you now, if you don't mind," he said mischievously.

Yao grinned up at Arthur. "You have my permission to do anything you want with me, aru," he teased.

"Good," Arthur said, moving forward to capture Yao's lips in a kiss. "Because that outfit is making me very horny and I fully intend to do a lot of things to you tonight."

Yao couldn't help the pleasurable shiver that ran down his spine at Arthur's husky tone. They had been lovers for far too long, and Arthur knew how to make Yao lose control.

Two days later, Yao was tidying up the bedroom.

Hong Kong poked his head into the room. "Do you like, need any help?" he asked. After returning home from wherever it was he had run off to after catching Arthur and Yao in a compromising position that night, Hong Kong had refused to talk to his parents. In fact, he couldn't even look at them out of sheer embarrassment.

"Are you speaking to me now, aru?"

Hong Kong sighed. "I CAN'T not talk to you," he replied. "You're practically my mother."

Yao didn't say anything when Hong Kong referred to him as his mother. It was quite a strange situation that Arthur, Hong Kong and him were in, whereby neither Arthur nor Yao was Hong Kong's birth parent. But over the years since adopting Hong Kong and bringing him home, Yao had somehow taken over the maternal role in their household. "Well," Yao began. "I'm sorry we weren't careful and you had to see that."

Hong Kong snickered quietly. "It's not something a kid wants to see."

"Yes, and we're very very sorry, aru."

Hong Kong tilted his head about nonchalantly. "So do you need any help?"

Yao handed Hong Kong a rag. "You can wipe off the dust on the side-table."

Hong Kong nodded and took the rag from Yao. He then walked over to the side-table to begin work on it, but something shiny on the ground caught his eye. He bent down and picked the offending object up.

Yao looked towards Hong Kong. "What's that, Hong?"

"Something shiny on the ground," replied Hong Kong, studying the shiny item in his palm.

Shiny? Yao groaned inwardly. It couldn't be… could it? "Let me see."

When Yao caught sight of the piece of Christmas confetti in Hong Kong's hand, he laughed. "I thought I had gotten all of it, aru!"

Hong Kong looked at Yao questioningly.

"I'm really regretting bringing out the Christmas confetti that night with your father," Yao said. "I thought I'd cleaned it all up, but these stuff keeps turning up in places I least expect, aru!"

Hong Kong glanced at the piece of confetti. "I'm keeping it," he announced. "It's red and it's shiny. I like it."

Yao opened his mouth to say something.

"And I don't want to know where it's been!" Hong Kong quickly added.

Yao blushed. "I was just going to say that I have some Christmas confetti left if you wanted it."

"Oh, I'll take it," Hong Kong replied. "I can probably like, make some last-minute Christmas cards or something." He then took out his wallet and carefully placed the piece of confetti into one of the card slots.

"I hope that's the last of the confetti, aru," said Yao wistfully.

"I'm sure you'll get them all," said Hong Kong. "Eventually," he added with a playful wink.