It Sucks Being the Eldest
Number 1: A Problem Called Jason Todd
Dick knows something is wrong with Jason when he decides to blow up a casino and kill a few drug lords in the process
Number 2: Where are the Cookies?
On days when Alfred is released for an overdue vacation and Bruce finally gives up the ghost and falls asleep; it's up to Dick to pry Tim's hands from around Jason's neck as they fight for the last double chocolate chip cookie.
Number 3: Names
"Jerk."
"Dick."
"…Not fair."
"But it's true…in more ways than one."
"You are so dead."
Number 4: Costumes
Nightwing knew patrol would be interesting tonight, he just didn't expect Catwoman to be so insistent on rubbing his legs.
"I missed it when you didn't wear pants."
"You can blame the Third Robin for not wanting to look like Batman's boy toy.
"But it looked so good."
Number 5: Girlfriend
"She's not my girlfriend, Tim."
"But you were holding hands."
"We were crossing the street."
"But you kissed her."
"People do that when they say goodbye."
"But-"
"Tim, she was nine."
"So you're a pedophile?"
"Shut up, Jason."
Number 6: Sleeping
"Um…Dick? Can I sleep with you tonight?"
"Did you have a nightmare?"
"No…"
"Well, what happened?"
"I wet the bed again."
Number 7: Heartache
Dick was sitting by the window and watching the rain trickle down the glass. Jason was sitting on the couch reading a magazine and occasionally glancing up to make sure Dick didn't fall over. Tim walked over and saw Dick, a curious expression crossing his face, before Jason clicked his tongue and pulled the tyke onto the couch with him.
"What's with Dick?"
"His girlfriend just broke up with him over the phone."
"Should we go over there?"
"Nope. He'd say we don't understand."
Number 8: Favourite
"Come on, Dick. Who's your favourite kid? Jason, Damian, or me?"
"Um…well…"
Number 9: Nightmare
Fighting Jason doesn't bother Dick.
The fact was that as a child, Jason would crawl into bed with him and talk about a dream where he killed Dick bothers him, mostly because Jay would be crying whereas now, he's laughing.
Number 10: Reboot
He had never seen Damian so upset before, never knew those big green eyes could seem bigger than they were at this moment.
"But…I don't want to forget you. I don't want to forget this."
"Me neither, Robin."
Number 11: Old Age
Dick sometimes wished Tim would visit more often or perhaps that Jason hadn't been killed in that train wreck thirty years ago because tending to Bruce and his urinary infection was not fun.
Number 12: Replacement
Dick liked to think he was special, that he and Bruce would share this father-son bond forever. He quickly changed his mind when the Batman had a small boy hidden under his cape.
"This is Jason."
Number 13: Friends
Dick knew that Tim had friends other than him but would it kill the kid to spend some time with his older brother?
Number 14: Family
Dick couldn't remember the last time he had a quiet dinner with his family and by the looks of it, that quiet dinner would never come. Damian and Tim were wrestling on the floor with forks in hand, Jason was in a yelling match with Bruce, cheesecake was splashed over Alfred's new suit, Babs had disappeared, and Dick had just lost his peas, mashed potatoes, and prime rib steak to Jason who threw it in Bruce's face.
Number 15: Mornings
Jason slept with a gun and would shoot you if you even attempted to open a window or pull the covers off him.
Tim always installed some trap so when you'd open the door; water, slime, paint, or eggs would almost always fall on your head.
Damian just threw shit at you until he threatened to find a knife and murder you.
Bruce? It was a miracle if he slept at all.
Number 16: Sharing
Dick didn't like sharing anything, especially his bed. Jason hogged the sheets, Tim would kick in his sleep and Damian would cling to him as if Dick was suddenly transformed into a giant teddy bear...Then again, that wasn't so bad.
Number 17: Ice Cream
Dick liked to go all out with his ice cream. Sprinkles, whipped cream, fruit, chocolate syrup, candy, cookies, fudge; you name it. Damian preferred straight vanilla with a cherry on top, though he didn't mind Dick's choice of toppings when he "accidently" dropped his cone…All seventeen times.
Number 18: Eighteenth Birthday
Dick was silently cursing Alfred's intuition right now. Jason was of the legal age to drink and now he was illegally over the limit. Why, oh why, did he let Jason drive?
Number 19: Bullies
"Which one of you is responsible for this?"
"…"
"No one? Well, I suppose I'll just have to teach you a lesson then, hm?"
Minutes Later
"Dick, did you get in a fight?"
"Yes, Bruce. Yes, I did."
"Did you lose?"
"Yes."
"How?"
"...they went for a nut shot."
Number 20: Time of Dying
"Who's going to comfort me?"