A/N:

The story is similar to the movie Under the Tuscan Sun, which is a great chick flick, but my story will have its own differences and not be exactly like the movie.

I will say this once, I do not own these characters, I did not create them, they all belong to SM

**OH and whenever you see the phrase 'excerpt from manuscript B' it is a fancy way of saying Bella's journal. Though I like the way Elizabeth Peters does this in the Amalia Peabody mysteries, so I am going to be using her method.

Big Big thanks to my Beta Harley_Quinn0389 she is amazing and currently makes this story fit to be seen and she is just awesome in general!!

BPOV

Excerpt from manuscript B

Date: March 30, 2009,

Location: Chicago,

Reason for writing: one last thought before goodbye.

My life was never supposed to be this hard or fall apart this fast. I had an okay social life. Going to high school, I was too shy to ever be the most popular individual of Forks High School, but I still managed a decent spot on the social hierarchy chain when I became best friends with Alice Cullen. During my sophomore year, I also managed to become less awkward. But my main improvement, I believe, was having an overactive friend who happened to be drop dead gorgeous. She provided the entertainment and social welfare of our companionship and I just, well, I think I was there as a fashion project most of the time; Alice had already perfected herself to the extent that she needed to share the wealth. Though I cannot be to upset about that, there was a major improvement in my yearbook pictures after Alice decided we were best friends. My perfected image will always grace the halls of Forks high right below Mike Newton.

College… now that was an amazing time and the first time I met Alice's older brothers, Emmett and Edward. I was still the same shy girl and I was still as awkward as ever; self-confidence was not my strongest point but I came into my own within the confines of the group the five of us formed, Emmett had a longtime girlfriend, Rosalie, that he had met his sophomore year of college and they had been dating for the past two years. Emmett and Edward were both in to their senior year, Rosalie was a in to her junior year and Alice and I were the lowly freshman at the University of Chicago.

It was during the second semester of our freshman year that Alice met Jasper, Rosalie's cousin who transferred in from the University of Texas, he had a southern drawl that instantly made him charming in our circle of friends and within five minutes of meeting one another him and Alice were declared soul mates and have been ever since.

I really believe the relationship that formed between Edward and I during college was one of connivance, well on his part at least; I was madly in love with him at first sight. He hardly noticed me until it was apparent that no other girl would be welcomed into the group and he needed my support to salvage any form of a date while we were in a group. One drunken night after a karaoke session and Edward saving me from a bar patron we ended up being a couple and I believed things were perfect.

When Edward graduated, he took a job in Chicago at a business firm his grandfather had founded, Mason Industries. I was proud of him he worked hard to accomplish the success he was sure to acquire. The hard part though, was he did have to move to the other side of the city for work, and he took a roommate after we both decided it was better that I continue to room with Alice until I was done with college.

Much to my displeasure, Edward ended up rooming with Tanya Denali. A woman who was like his cousin, an old family friend, but guess what? They were not related and I now felt stupid to believe there was never anything going on between them for the three years they lived together until I graduated College with my degree in Journalism and English.

Edward and I then moved in together and became engaged, though it ended up being a long engagement, three more years to be exact. All during college I had been working on my own book series, Alice ended up sending them into a publisher without my knowledge. They were accepted to be published, and for the first three years of college, I was busy writing and doing book tours and going all over the country. I became even busier the third year when a small studio offered me a generous deal to turn the book into a movie. I accepted the deal, but all the success I was having took me away from Edward and pushed him back into cohorts with Tanya. They were like best friends and I was probably overly paranoid but I could even swear Tanya began to purposely wear a diamond ring on her left hand just to give the illusion that she was engaged to Edward, not me. But when I approached him the first time about their relationship, he became defensive and turned the tables on me for always being gone and that Tanya was just a friend and there for him when he needed someone.

It was like a slap in the face. So the next weekend I decided we would just elope, and we did, I had the most unromantic ceremony in the history of marriages and no honeymoon afterward. We decided to wait until after I was done with my movie tour to go off and really enjoy a nice long vacation together in Italy. I even purchased us a house in good faith so that we could go and enjoy Tuscany for an extended period, in our own place. It seems ridiculous that my first big purchase would be a house in a foreign country. However, Edward had already provided for everything else, and deep down I was a romantic at heart and had always wanted my own place in paradise and this was a gift I could provide for the both of us as well as divulge into my own selfish wants.

That was my dream but the time our break came around that we could leave, Tanya screwed up some accounting work for the company and we never got away. I threw a fit and thought she was doing it on purpose and of course Edward flared up on me and we got into a fight and he did not come home that night. That was two years ago, and although I knew he had ended up staying with Tanya that night, I had no proof, just the gut feeling. Even Alice had a sense of foreboding from the entire situation.

Our marriage turned into a sham after that, I stayed home and played housewife, even when I was miserable doing so, I really had no need to work at the moment; the success I received from the books as well as the movie had me set for life. It pleased Edward though, and that made me happier than anything else in the world, despite our fights in the beginning of the relationship, I still loved him more than anything. Though the fight about Tanya was never resolved, I decided to drop it in the end for the sake of him being happier, though a part of me became even more dead in the inside as I accepted my role as Edward's own personal doormat extraordinaire as well as chef and maid.

I lost a big part of my identity and allowed myself to slip through the cracks and sink into the shell I called my former self, not that I had a backbone to begin with, but I lost my confidence in the relationship. And as much as I hoped and prayed that things would change for the better, they did not, they got worse and despite it all I loved him and still did my best to make him happy.

I will never forget February 25 as long as I live, that was the day that I found the black thong in Edward's office. That was also the day I found out I was pregnant, news I thought would give a little life into our marriage again, it was not dead yet, but I have seen more activity in the shadows we cast, and Chicago is a pretty shady city.

The "talk" Edward and I had, only consisted of me asking him how work was and him giving me a kiss on the cheek while I made diner; yeah, I have fallen a long way. I did bring up the thong while we were in bed though, we fought of course, and when I accused of the thong belonging to Tanya, well he instantly went to defend her and tell me it was not her thong and that I should think higher of her. I of course counter with the point that the thong should have never been in his office to begin with and then continued the ever ritual rant that he spends too much time with Tanya and that he should have just married her instead; an immature statement to be made on my part, but I said it anyway. Edward ended the argument by promptly getting out of bed and walking out of our bedroom, slamming the door on his way out.

I did not even try to tell him about the pregnancy after that fight, we just slipped back into our normal routine and led the façade of a decent marriage, but I was over it. That leads me to today, March 30, 2009. There is nothing special about this day; I am now 11 weeks pregnant. Though, no one knows except for the women in the Cullen family, Esme, Alice, and Rosalie. I had to share the news with someone, and the people I felt closest to earned that spot, they were however sworn to secrecy.

Edward's birthday is in three months, he will be turning 31 and mine is in 7 months, I will be 27 years old and a new mother. Until then, I have decided that today is the day I'm going to make a change for the better, for myself. I am tired of the uphill battle that has become my marriage and the lifeless void I feel, I am still in love with Edward and I probably always will be, but I cannot force him to love me and frankly, I have lost my will to put up with it all. I am nearing my thirties and yes, I have found monetary success in life, but I am not happy.

I love this unborn child and I want it so badly to have a perfect life and a loving environment, but I cannot give that to the baby with how my life is right now. So I bought a one way ticket to Tuscany, I need a new start and as much as I love Edward and always will, I cannot continue to compete with Tanya while she looks so smug on her damn pedestal.

I had to put my pen down as I closed the journal and sat back down on my desk. Here I was, 26 years old and I was living in denial. Edward had cheated on me, but somehow writing that down in my journal caused me to throw out the whole book just to start again and repeat the process. Edward did actually cheat on me on February 25th, I saw Tanya walk out of the office looking all disheveled and I tried to calm down before I walked into his office. So, I went back down stairs to grab some coffee and calm my nerves, I didn't actually see them having sex, though that sliver of hope was soon gone when I found the thong. I didn't tell anyone about the supposed infidelity, but I did set forth with the plan to draw up divorce papers.

Two weeks ago, I informed Alice and Rosalie that I was leaving temporarily for Italy while I tried to figure my life out. My intentions where to stay until the baby was born. Then figure out where to go from there, presumably back to Chicago to live in my old apartment Alice and I used to share in College. It was a nice enough place and Alice agreed that I could use the place and signed over her half of the ownership to me. I almost chickened out of leaving, but I had to do this for myself, but then I remembered Edward was a Jackass and me just staying behind was only going to send me further into my own downward spiral of doom. He cheated on me, but I still loved him dammit.

I just got back in from running errands this morning, I had to stop by Edward's office as well as make a stop by my old apartment. It was a productive morning, but now I had other things to attend to. I sat down with a pen in my hand and my coffee to the right of me and began to write a letter that I never imagined I would. Where I found the strength to start and finish it? I will never know. I found the strength though and I began with his name.

Edward,

I am going to assume you received the divorce papers. I left them with Lauren while you were out to lunch with Tanya. Just please sign them and give them to my attorney Laurent, he will drop by this Friday to pick them up from your office around noon.

I told him to ask for Jessica and I called to tell your office that he has an appointment so that he can be given access upstairs, all of the details are taken care of, so don't worry about a thing.

All I ever tried to believe was that you would change and that our marriage would improve, but I just don't have it in me anymore to believe that it will happen. I gave you every excuse in the world and I gave you everything I had but Edward, you have not changed at all over the past two years. Edward I don't even know why I stayed with you up to this point. I am leaving. I am tired of being let down and having you break my heart and I am tired of being the second choice next to Tanya, I was supposed to be your wife.

I could have loved you with everything I had but you left me in the cold and I do not want to hear why anymore, the affair was the last straw; I am over the hurt and the tears. I wanted things to work but I cannot be the only one who wants it to work, I do not have it in me to care anymore. My energy and emotions are spent. I have been unhappy for too long and you do not even notice it. I am just the girl you married for some reason or another; I just cook, clean and take care of everything else. Well, that is easy enough to replace.

I arranged for a maid to come and clean your place as well as a chef that will get everything you need for a week at a time. They agreed to keep up with you for a year and I already paid for it all in full, just be nice to them. They know how you like things and what you like to eat. The chef will come on Mondays and the maid will be there Monday through Friday and will heat the meals the chef prepares. You're on your own for the weekend, but there will be food for you to eat.

I already spoke to your parents as well this morning, you will have to explain what happened exactly, they know, but you will have to talk to them eventually. The stuff that I had at what used to be our place is in my old college apartment for when I come back to town to visit them as well as visit Alice and Rosalie. Therefore, no need to worry about me walking through that door, at random points, go enjoy your guy time or work or whatever excuse you always use to brush me off. Focus on things you want to now.

I also know about Tanya, Edward, I saw her walk out of your office the day I found the black thong, but I guess you figured that out from the beginning of this letter. I know you have been having an affair, now you can pursue it, or just continue having the affair as is, you have my blessing so to speak. She will not be the type who wants you at home or needs you to pick up groceries. You both are pretty much made for each other. I hope you are happy, that is all I ever wanted you to be and I couldn't provide that, so find it somewhere else.

You may also notice the other piece of paper in the envelope, it's called a sonogram. That is what our child looked like at 8 weeks, the picture is from February 25th. I was going to tell you sooner, but in light of recent events I don't think you are ready to deal with being a father and I do not want you to disappoint my child, or even worse, break his or her heart. Esme and Carlisle should be getting the next sonogram in three weeks, after I meet with my new doctor, so just ask them about it if you're curious.

I do think at some point you would make a great father, but you are not ready and I don't want to risk it. I am going to do my best to protect what is mine. I fear rejection more for the baby than I do for myself. Maybe someday you can know your child, but not now. Your parents will be getting pictures as well as updates once a month, ask them if you really want to know about the baby.

You don't have to call anymore, I won't pick up the phone, this is the last straw and I don't want to hurt anymore. You say that you're sorry but you really don't mean it and I don't have it in me to try and believe it anymore. Our marriage left us so unhappy and I stayed because I loved you, but I cannot stay with you anymore knowing that you are having an affair with Tanya.

I could have loved you all my life if you had let me.

Goodbye Edward,

Bella

I was emotionally spent and had had enough. My life could be harder, many were worse off than I, but right now my life sucked. However, he made his choice, so I left the divorce papers signed at his office while he went to lunch with her, the other woman, sluTanya, as I have taken to calling her. He didn't know that I was going to ask for a divorce, but it could not come of that much of a surprise. We had not spent anytime together for a while; we had not had sex except for once in the past three months, we were just no longer ourselves. I was always faithful, even when he said he was not sure if he loved me anymore, that killed me but I still stayed with him until I knew I was pregnant, then it is like everything clicked in my life, I was being such an idiot, he was not going to change now.

I was a dumbass for letting him treat me this way. So fuck him, I had better things to do now, I am leaving with what I have left. It sounds like a heartless thing to do to the man I still loved, however, I had already made up my mind the minute I found out I was pregnant and found the thong, I needed to be the woman my mother raised me to be, not this pathetic doormat I had been for the past two years, he was not going to be a part of my life anymore. I needed space to breathe and grow. I needed a new beginning. I needed a better environment for the baby inside of me to come into.

I got up and sealed the letter as well as the sonogram into the envelope, I put his name on the outside and with it, left one of my copies of the key to his apartment. I grabbed my purse and checked for my passport and left to go meet Alice and Rosalie at the airport. I dropped the other copy of the key I had with the door attendant, Seth, and had them call my car around, a black BMW X5. I would miss this SUV, but it would be waiting for me when I came back to Chicago to visit with the baby.

I drove away to lose myself, from all the pain and the heartache this city had given me during the last two years of my marriage with Edward. Getting into the car and leaving was like a real reminder of what I was about to do. It was like my chest was fighting between having an anxiety attack or just dying all together. I think at this point, I would prefer the later. The problem with this kind of pain though is that you can never lose it as long as the memory is still there and fresh, it just sears itself into your heart until all you have left to hope for is a dreamless sleep to escape. As much as I tried over the past two years, I had to let go. I had to move on. I had greater things than myself to worry about as well as a plane to catch.

I met Alice and Rosalie outside of the terminal and we sat down at a starbucks to have one final cup of coffee and say our goodbyes.

Alice was the first one to speak. "Bella, I know my brother can be a complete idiot and I am proud of you for standing up for yourself, but does leaving the country have to happen? You are my best friend and have been since high school. I don't know what I will do without you."

I knew Alice was taking this hard, Edward was her brother and I was her best friend. She still believed that deep down Edward and I were meant to be but I just didn't see it anymore.

"Alice, I need to go, I need the space to grow out of my funk and try my hardest to get over this whole mess, you know that and I wont stay gone forever. It's just that I can't imagine being around him or this city and I need to learn to be strong for my child."

"Bella, we know you need to go and we will miss you terribly and you know we will visit and help you get ready for the birth, we want to see our niece or nephew being born, even if the father is a royal jackass who didn't deserve you for a minute." Rosalie said and Alice nodded right along with her, though she wore a sad expression.

"Just know we love you more than anything and we will be with you in a heart beat if you need us, just call, please." Alice said.

I hugged both of my best friends and looked at the time on my cell phone; I knew that I would need to go through security soon in order to catch my flight.

"Well girls, I love you more than anything, but don't worry, this is not goodbye. I know I will see you later and I know that I will have to visit after the baby is born so that Carlisle and Esme can see their grandchild. Just know that I love you and will miss the both of you." I had a few tears run down my cheeks but I also managed to keep a smile on my face. It was heartbreaking to leave the ones I loved but a change of scenery would be wonderful.

I picked up my purse and found my way over to the gate and pushed my way through security, I handed over my passport and ticket and got everything checked out and then waited for my turn to board. I probably had a good hour until my flight took off so I decided to look further around the area and stop in a book store to pick up a few things up for my flight.

My cell phone started to go off and I looked down at the caller I.D., it was Esme's cell. I debated on whether or not it was a good idea to pick up. Then I decided it would be hurtful to her not to, she was after all one of my biggest supporters. I accepted the call.

"Hello Esme."

"Bella, thank goodness I caught you. I am not going to try and stop you, though I wish you would stay. I was calling to tell you that I am going to miss you and that I love you."

"Thanks Esme, I will miss you too. I hope that you know that you are always welcome to visit me and I want you to come for the birth or anytime Alice and Rose decide to come. I also wanted to thank you for keeping my destination a secret, I know it took a lot for you to agree but it means a lot to me."

"Of course dear, you will always be my daughter despite everything my jackass of a son has apparently done. I swear I raised him better than this."

"It's not your fault Esme. Just know that I loved him very much and I have always thought of you as a mother figure, even in high school, thank you for everything you have done."

"Bella, one more thing before you leave, promise me two things."

"Okay"

"One, that you will let me know you are safe and keep in touch,"

"Of course"

"Second, call me when you land and get to your new place."

"Oh Esme always the mom, yes I will call."

"Good, now take care of yourself and the baby. Know that all of us love you. I will talk to you later tonight, goodbye"

"Bye" I said choking back a few tears.

For such a loving woman, she sure raised a dick of a son, I thought to myself. Oh well she would always be a part of my life one way or another. I had always hoped it would be as my mother-in-law, but now it was as my child's grandmother, still just as involved and she loved me the same, but whenever I would look at her, she would still be Edward's mom, the woman who spawned the ass, who gave me the angel growing inside of me.

Hmm, part of me wondered how Edward would react to my leaving, I know he would never expect me to actually leave him, he knew I was halfway up his ass in love with him, so I had a surprise element. He would probably be pissed wondering where I went, thinking I was going to come back eventually. He may think "finally, she's gone; I should call sluTanya to celebrate."

I did know for sure he would be upset about the baby thing, I knew Edward eventually wanted kids, even if he did not want them with me. I pretty much told him he would suck at being a father right now. I wonder if he will even bother to call or care that I am gone. Probably not now that I think about it, he has maid service and food taken care of for a year, things I used to do.

The thought depressed me that I could be replaced in his life but I quickly let that go, I was a changed woman who stood up for herself and took charge of her life, yes it was a way drastic measure, but I deserved better and I knew it now.

E/N:

Review!