Disclaimer: If I owned Matt Hardy, we'd all be in trouble ..
Authors Note: Hope you like my first Matt/Amy story. Inspiration came from "The Cleansing" episode of "The Hardy Show" (.com). Yes I'm aware it isn't exactly how it really went down, but whatever :P Reviews = Love and Cookies!
It had started off as an innocent crush and a whole lot of mutual admiration. Matt had seen enough Diva matches to last a lifetime, and most of them made him half-tempted to gouge his eyes out with a spoon. Sure they were pretty to look at and some of them could be amusing, and the women themselves were nice enough, but he considered himself an athlete, and what they did was more soft-core porn than athletics. A trip to NWA changed that idea.
Jeff had grabbed him as soon as he pulled up to the gym, his face lit up with excitement .. not an uncommon sight for Jeff, who tended to get overexcited about, well .. just about everything, but this time it was different.
"Man, you gotta see this girl .." Jeff started, and Matt rolled his eyes .. he had heard enough sentences starting like that from his brother to last a life time.
"Jeff, we're not here to scope out chicks," he retorted as Jeff led him inside where various wrestlers were training. His eyes immediately locked on the brunette standing on the top rope, and before he could blink she executed a picture perfect moonsault. "Hooooly shit."
Jeff grinned at his brothers response and murmured a "told ya so" before he began applauding the move they had just seen performed as the female who had executed it rolled out of the ring and smiled at her admirers, still breathing heavy from her exertion in the ring.
"Thanks for the applause. Amy Dumas," she said, sticking out her hand. Matt saw stars, and at that moment he couldn't have remembered his name if his life depended on it.
"Jeff Hardy," Jeff covered, shaking Amy's outstretched hand and elbowing Matt in the side. "This is my brother, Matt."
"I know," Amy winked at the older Hardy brother and bounced back towards the ring to finish her practice. She turned around as she got back on the mat, grinning at them again before ducking under the ropes. "Tell your brother Matt he's got a killer smile."
It took a few seconds of silence for Matt to come back around.
"Matt!" he responded, blinking a couple times to clear the cobwebs. Jeff snickered and shook his head at his big brother, teasing "Somebody's got it baaaaaaaaaaad" in a sing-song manner as he started walking away. Matt shoved him playfully.
"Whatever. Did you hear her say she liked my smile?"
How it had all come to this, Matt would never understand. They had gone through everything life could throw at them .. busy schedules, major injuries, drama, gossip .. and yet through it all they had stuck by each other and leaned on each other and come out stronger for it.
Or that's sure as hell the way Matt thought.
It had been fate that Matt had woken up that night and untangled himself from their bed to get a drink, and had seen the text message from Adam. Matt was a big believer in fate and it killed him to think that his and hers could have been different .. somehow .. if only. But what could he do? He was angry, livid, murderous at first. But when that anger dissapates, what's usually left is hurt, and that's exactly what was left for him. Mind-numbing, soul-crushing hurt.
He had spent five years loving this woman more than anything else on earth, and she had chosen to give her love to another. He still loved her, he knew he always would. What else could he do but wish her happiness, even if it meant finding that happiness in another?
Matt slowly and painstakingly packed up her things in the house they shared together. She had agreed to let him keep Lucas, something he had to be grateful for despite everything, and the little dog now sat at the edge of their bed, watching his master quizzically as he loaded up box after box with clothes and pictures and their lives together over the last five years.
Matt picked up the final item left in the house, a framed picture of them together, and pressed his lips to it, giving it, and Amy, a final goodbye. Who knew what the future would hold for either of them? Would he ever find love and happiness like he had with her, or would his life continue on the downward spiral it had begun recently? A million thoughts raced through his mind as he carried the box out the front door, where Amy waited in the driveway, head down and hands in her pockets.
"That's it," he stated, handing her the box. Amy couldn't even look him in the eye, the hurt and betrayal she knew would be there were too much for her to take. She honestly did love him still, but it had grown different over time and clouded and she knew he deserved better than what she could give him. She hoped one day he'd come to know it too.
Matt picked up the frame lying on the top of the box, the same one he had said his goodbyes to a few moments earlier, and wiped a finger across the glass. "Remember this?" he asked, smiling and chuckling to himself. Amy looked at the picture .. her and Matt covered in cake batter in their kitchen, Lucas in her arms licking at Matt's nose, an attempt at making a birthday cake for Jeff gone horribly wrong. She pretended not to see the tear that dropped from Matt's cheek onto the glass as he rubbed his eyes hastily.
Amy wanted to say something, anything, to make things better, to repair what seemed to be irreparable damage. But what was there to say? She knew things would get worse, a million times over, before they got better .. once the truth sank in and Matt went from the hurt to anger again, once Adam started pushing Matt's buttons, and she knew he would .. she couldn't imagine how things could get worse, but deep down she knew they would. She wanted to say something that Matt would remember for when that happened, so that he'd know she really had loved him and she wasn't some horrible monster. So that he'd know it was her, not him, who had failed them.
Instead, it was Matt who spoke the words.
"Be happy, ok?" He smiled directly at her this time, a heartbreaking smile that immediately brought tears to Amy's eyes and brought her back to that hot gym all those years ago where she had seen that smile for the first time and felt her heart drop to her feet. After all the pain she had put him through, everything she had done, Matt Hardy was gracious enough to wish for her happiness. She could do nothing but nod before turning to put the last box in her car, and when she turned back around Matt was gone.
She knew that was his way of saying goodbye, smiling and letting her go in style. It was fitting .. the best man she would probably ever know, certainly the best man she could ever hope to have love her, saying goodbye in the best and most gracious way someone could.
Amy cried the entire way home, not knowing that inside the house they once had shared together and dreamed of building a life together in, Matt was sharing in her pain and grief for what might have, could have, should have been. If only.
I still remember the night we met
You said you loved my smile
But your love for me was like a summer breeze
Oh it lasted for a while
I could hold on a little tighter I know
But when you love someone gotta let 'em go
So I'm gonna smile
'Cause I wanna make you happy
Laugh so you can't see me cry
I'm gonna let you go in style
And even if it kills me
I'm gonna smile
Kiss me once for the good times, baby
Kiss me twice for good bye
You can't help how you don't feel
And it doesn't matter why
Give me a chance to bow out gracefully
'Cause that's how I want you to remember me
I'm gonna smile
'Cause I want to make you happy
Laugh so you can't see me cry
I'm gonna let you go in style
And even if it kills me
I'm gonna smile
I'm gonna smile so you can find the courage
Laugh, so you wont see me hurtin'
I'm gonna let you go in style
And even if it kills me ..
I'm gonna smile.
(Lyrics from "Smile" by Lonestar)