A/N: Written for a prompt:
To others, they seem like more of a snuggly, cutesy couple, with their mittens and tea. Almost platonic, really. But the second their guests close the door behind them, these two CANNOT keep their hands off each other! They leap across furniture and fem!Bilbo's wrapping her legs around his hips before the guests reach the street. Ori is constantly getting turned on by fem!Bilbo- the way she walks, her voice, her sass her clever jokes her everything is just so sexy. Meanwhile lady-Bilbo finds Ori every bit as magnetic, with his big man hands and bedroom smile and how he strives to please her. These guys get it on like Donkey Kong- the kitchen, the hall, the floor; him topping passionate and deep and her topping playful and bouncing; missionary, doggie style, oral, breast worship, these two could do it all. Dwarves are known for their stamina after all, and fem!Bilbo is a thoroughly pleasured lady.
Well, nothing really descriptive happens here, but there is lot of suggestive stuff...
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the nearly finished bottle of wine.
Company Doesn't Know
Bella and Ori were cute, are cute and always will be cute. That was what company always thought and what the company most certainly didn't see any reason to change their opinion about. The two are just adorable with their knitting, braiding each other's hair, trading shy kisses, feeding each other pieces of food and blushing at gazing at the other on, especially when their eyes meet.
Yet, Company certainly doesn't know everything, and neither Bella, nor Ori have the intention of ever educating them on the subject.
o.O.o
They didn't know that the true reason Bella never tells Dori what she uses to create her famous tea blends is that she simply doesn't know. Well, she knows what she puts in the tea jars, but can never remember the measurements, because every time she tries to write those down, Ori somehow always finds his way behind her; his arms wrapped around her waist and his mouth teasing the skin on her nape, successfully distracting her from everything but himself.
It's actually quite a surprise to Bella that the tea blends she creates during those… distractions… are quite so good and not something awful.
o.O.o
Fíli and Kíli always make fun of Bella and Ori for always having fresh flowers (well, some dried arrangements as well) in their chambers. The brothers realize that hobbits adore flowers, and use them during their courtship – but since their Burglar and Scribe are already married, no need for them to carry on the courting business, right?
However, the princes didn't know what all those flowers and plants meant.
The cattails Bella took almost painful care to get from the marshes of the southern part of the Long Lake mean peace, and there is a tastefully done dry arrangement of them and sage (which means esteem and sentiment of having a wonderful family) at the entrance to their chambers, signifying that peace lies ahead, no matter how chaotic the world outside is.
The vase on the table in Viola's study tends to house various flowers, handpicked by Ori from the hidden balcony, protected against the outer weather by glass sturdy enough to withstand the elements but still clear enough to allow as much light as possible inside the balcony. Sometimes it's camellias – their meaning ranging from showing Bella the longing Ori felt towards her, calling her either flame of Ori's heart or just mischievously telling her she's adorable.
Of course, time to time a bouquet of red and coral roses shows up on the bedside table in their bed chamber – but never manages to stay long enough, since their petals are often worn as the only clothing by Bella to show how much she appreciates Ori's devotion to the language of flowers he learnt for her.
Of course, no one ever needs to know that this clothing is exactly the kind Ori likes Bella second best.
Her best look, in both their opinions, is when she wears him.
o.O.o
Nori noticed that while Bella was quick to braid Ori's hair nearly every morning, her nimble (burglar-like) fingers quickly carding through his hair, twisting them into the elaborate braids they chose for Ori after their wedding, Bella's braids are much simpler, done at slower pace by Ori, who focuses fully on the blushing woman in front of him, closing the beads he painstakingly carved for her, his fingers unused and thus clumsy at the activity.
And while Nori doesn't know, but most certainly he would suspect, if he were prone to think of his younger brother and his sister-in-law as sexual creatures, is that while Ori's fingers may lack Bella's dexterity at braiding, they certainly are more than enough nimble at making Bella flush and twist under their ministrations, playing her body almost like a musical instrument, bringing it to the crescendo of passion, only to slow the notes of her melody down to decrescendo from the heights.
o.O.o
Bifur and Bofur – well, mainly Bofur, can't help but roll their eyes at the stuttering Ori and Bella, when the couple asks them to repair the bed they gave them as a wedding gift. It was nicely carved and sturdy piece of furniture, so Bofur is not ashamed of teasing them about being a bit too wild, thinking that someone this cute can't be anything but cute in bed, too, especially given the crimson blush on both their faces.
The truth is – they are wild (as the neighbours, should they have any, could attest to), but surprisingly enough, the last straw that broke the camel's back – or in this case the whole bed – was something completely innocent. Bella was telling Ori of the pillow fights her and her cousins would do during the sleepovers, and Ori wanted to try this pillow fight himself.
Let it be said that dwarven beds are made for all kinds of vigorous activity, but jumping on it while trying to smack someone over the head with a pillow is not one of them.
o.O.o
Balin, the most trusted of Thorin's advisors, was awed by the grace with which Bella carried herself, when she walked arm in arm with her husband Ori during the official events they were supposed to attend, due to their status of heroes of Erebor, both of them still looking as newlyweds with the way they would always stay in each other's reach, always touching the other one in some way.
What the older dwarf didn't know was that the same grace he did admire so was driving Ori nuts, as the every sway of Bella's hips brought a memory to the front of his mind. Bella, walking before him with exactly the same graceful sway of her hips, before she looked over her shoulder, giving him a slow smile accompanied by look that clearly said 'well, I am here, what are you waiting for?'
Needless to say, he certainly didn't wait any longer.
o.O.o
Bella once surprised Oin, when she visited him with a worried expression on her lovely face. Obviously, Ori had been very stressed by his workload in the library lately, but since there had been so very few scribes, and so many books and documents to go through, not even her help could make the work easier by much, and poor Ori would return home with his muscles cramping from all the heavy lifting of the tomes and hunching over the desk while he studied the documents and wrote the summaries into the catalogue.
He made her an ointment to massage Ori with, giving her an almost unnoticeable smile in response to her thanks.
He certainly didn't need to know that the massage, while started in the way Oin envisioned, got much hotter and steamier fairly quickly, especially when Ori felt Bella's hands on his shoulders and unable to contain himself, turned around on his seat, grabbed her and sat her in his lap, the massage forgotten.
Still, he was much more relaxed the next day nonetheless.
o.O.o
Gloin always found himself smile fondly, when he heard how Bella or Ori was speaking about the other one, when they had been absent. The most amazing warrior scribe. The most amazing of all womankind. Handsome. Beautiful. It sounded just like something he would say about his wife when being apart from her.
Of course, neither Bella or Ori would mention their prowess in the erotic arts in public, while in private they would be very, very open about their appreciation of what Bella's mouth could do to Ori, and Bella certainly didn't keep silent about his talented hands.
It's actually one of the reasons why both of them are so happy about not having any neighbours yet. Otherwise the whole of Erebor would know.
o.O.o
Thorin once noticed how awkward Ori started to look when he saw his wife waving a quill around as she spoke about some topic that interested her deeply, but gave it only a passing thought – after all, Bella was still a rather strange person, with strange (to a dwarf at least) interests and hobbies; it was understandable that one didn't fully understand everything she was talking about, right?
The thing was that thanks to all his studies and all the time they spent talking while on the quest, Ori could keep up with nearly everything Bella talked about; be it gardening, translation of elven poetry from Sindarin to Westron, cooking and knitting or whatever else. It was that not so long ago, he spent half of his evening being tied to the bedposts by several of Bella's ribbons, his eyes covered by a soft scarf, and his body brought to the very edge by the very same quill Bella was using to write before her familiar warmth enveloped him and he finally spent himself.
It just certainly didn't make him feel very calm or focused, when Bella waved the quill in front of him, since all the blood escaped from his brain to completely different places.
o.O.o
Dwalin sometimes dragged their resident cute couple for their weapon training – Bella was getting better with her short sword, and Ori certainly would land a good hit with the hammer he started to favour since their merry escapade in the Misty Mountains. So when he said "our scribe seems to be getting real good with his hammer", he didn't quite get why Bella choked and blushed that radiant shade of red at hearing that.
He really didn't need to know that just the day before they were making bad puns about hobbit holes being conquered by dwarven hammers, and apart from having lots of giggles about that, it left them in quite a state before they finally made it to bed.
In the end, the dwarven hammers really did conquer the hobbit holes, but nobody needed to know that.
o.O.o
Bombur always knew that Ori had a sweet tooth – after all, what dwarf wouldn't be won over fairly quickly with sweet food? And while Bella certainly made Ori appreciate even the green food he disliked so much before the Erebor was retaken, adding something sweet as a dessert after the greens made Ori one very happy scribe. So it didn't come as much of a surprise when Bella prepared their anniversary dinner in the main kitchens, and added a bowl of juicy red fruit with small seeds on its surface (he was told those were called strawberries – did that mean they grew on straw or something?) with cream to the tray she carried to their chambers.
Of course, the dessert had been eaten by Bella and Ori, but certainly not at the dinner table. Also – who would have thought that the cream leaves such particular stains on the bed sheets?
o.O.o
The bubble of innocence the Company tended to wrap the hobbit-dwarf couple burst with quite a boom and still made the whole of company blush furiously.
Because really, all of them could live without seeing them getting it on on the throne – skirts hiked high, pants dropped around ankles and moaning so wantonly that even the memory made wearing tight pants very uncomfortable.
But Bella and Ori?
The two just smiled like cats who ate all the cream, exchanging sly winks whenever they saw any of their companions blushing for no apparent reason.
A/N: Oh, and in case someone wonders - the title is wordplay with the song "Scotty doesn't know" from the movie Eurotrip.