Hello people! I've recently have gotten into the WTNV Fandom and I must say I love the style it's done in. I love it so much that for my Creative Writing class paper that was due, I wrote in a very similar fashion. The only difference between a regular NV broadcast and this one is that this one stays on topic :3
Warnings! none
Hello listeners. Our current story is about Mrs. CL's cat death plague that she has been experiencing for a couple of weeks now. Normally, stories like this are unimportant but her story is rather unique.
It started when her neighbors started finding dead cats in their yards. Logic would say that a dog was attacking them yet they showed no signs of being injured and the likelihood of one dog being responsible for the murder of every dead cat found (8 cats total) was quite preposterous. Our resource, Genesis Marsh, who is one of Mrs. CL's neighbors, said she went to her house to talk to her about her cats and to get her opinion on why they were dying off. Genesis recounts her experience as overall pleasant but she could have done without the cookies which she said "tasted as if death had made love with the Pillsbury dough boy". She reported that Mrs. CL was "Extremely distraught about her cats death and had suspicions that one of her neighbors was giving her cats antifreeze. She knew the neighborhood didn't like her cats so she wouldn't put it pass some people to kill them off." Mrs. CL's theory holds ground for antifreez ebecause it doesn't show any outward changes to the animal yet their insides would have been melted by the chemicals; a very gruesome death if you ask me.
A couple days after Genesis had visited Mrs. CL's house, Mrs. CL paid her visit and told her a new theory on why her cats where dying: They were eating rat poison that looked like their treats. Why she, who has over 15 cats, needs rat poison is beyond my comprehension but none-the-less Mrs. CL stuck to her theory and removed any remains of rat poison she possessed.
One week later, there were no more dead cats showing up in people's yards and life continued on for her and Genesis's small little neighborhood community.
However, imagine if someone was poisoning them. What a scandal it would have been. Luckily for everyone, it was simply a case of misplaced rat poison.
But it begs the question of if Mrs. CL knew the rat poison looked like treats then why did she buy it in the first place?
Why would she even need rat poison with some many cats to control the rat population? That, my viewers, is the question to ponder on.
So what did you think? This actually did happen to me and the old lady is refereed to a Mrs. CL because it stands for cat lady and she refuses to tell me her actual name. The cookies, in case anyone was wondering, tasted like a cross between peanut butter, oatmeal, and sugar cookie that was cooked too fast... meaning burnt edges and extremely gooey center. But regardless of her death cookies and obsession with cats, she's a really nice lady.
Well, that's all for now. Thank you for reading and please review!