I was five and he was six.
There was a time when things seemed to be so innocent. Even people seemed to be the most innocent when we were in our third and fourth years. It wasn't until our fifth year that the feelings came.
We rode on horses made of sticks.
Darkness loomed over our heads like a calling that was inevitable. Our sanity threatened to walk out the door as our lives were to be put on the line for a greater being.
He wore black and I wore white.
He was the one who made everyone know of his presence. Everyone knew of my own presence and I had only wanted everyone to leave me be. I was the silently reserved Slytherin and I refused to believe that one day…I would have the feelings I did for that blond prat.
He would always win the fight.
I'd grown up to be a dark person, sure. But him? He knew nothing but darkness. I was sure his heart was filled with pure black. The blood that pumped inside his body was as black as night while the skin that encased his skeleton was white as snow.
Bang bang, he shot me down.
I remember when I first told him the way I felt. The wicked grin that formed on his lips. The teasing, of course, hadn't left his body. But his arms would often wrap protectively around me. I didn't like to be the one who would be treated as fragile as a woman. And yet around him…it was manageable. We'd trade dominance and the two of us were oddly okay with it. But I was getting in the way. I was a distraction. His tasks weren't being completed to their fullest because of me.
Bang bang, I hit the ground.
When he got the new task…the blond had tried to be bold. Go against Voldemort. We were all fighting for love in some way or another during our sixth and seventh years were we not? It was ridiculous. I wasn't worth it. "I love you, you prat." I told him as he grew paler and paler still as he hesitated about the upcoming task. "I love you and that's why you'll complete it." I told him. Probably one of the last things I told him.
Bang bang, that awful sound.
"I'm sorry." He whispered before the green blast came toward me. For a few seconds, it hurt. My jaw dropped as I curled my slender arms around my own waist. My darkened fingers curled themselves around my loose sweater before releasing as the cool feeling consumed me. It was death, I'd recognize the bastard anywhere. A small smile formed on my lips as I welcomed him all to happily.
Bang bang, my baby shot me down.
As I fell to my knees, a loud thud sounding against the hardwood that lay beneath me, he tried to catch me. Only as I began to fall backwards did I feel the now arm touch of his skin. The skin that I'd always thought was so cold. Almost as cold as ice. Now, as my skin was as icy as his own, the touch felt warm. And…what was this sound I heard? A soft sound of sobs had started to escape him. The one I'd only gotten to love for the past two years. "I'm sorry Blaise. I'm so sorry." His voice was soft, breathless as he spoke the words through sobs. And then the black came. The black I will never forget.
Seasons came and changed the time.
In the blackness I could remember when I was young. My mother was the darkest woman I knew of. All my fathers had died suspiciously. Deep down though…I knew it was her. I knew who I'd grow to be. I'd grow to be a killer, a betrayer just as he had. Not that I could blame him. We were Slytherins. Two males never capable of the love we'd shared. Our hearts were both black…even if I never wanted to believe I'd always had the black inside me.
When I grew up I called him mine.
I'd had the feelings for him since I was in my fourth year. I'd always pictured how I was going to tell him how I felt. And yet I'd never found myself capable of doing such a thing. Not until he asked me what was wrong. He saw me smile for the first time in our sixth year. It was an emotion I'd only shown to him. That was then. That was before I was six feet under.
Two years after the final Wizarding War.
He let off a soft smile as he walked to the tombstone. The memories of our past must have flown through his head. Kneeling down, he reached out a hand, his slender, pale digits grazing over the dirt just before the stone, loose petals littering the grave.
He would always laugh and say.
Parting the pink tiers, a deep husky voice escaped. It was obvious he trying to hold back tears. The water welling in those pale grey eyes. They were brighter now. The blue that once shown in them were apparent once more.
"Remember when we used to play?"
A small half laugh, half sob escaped him. The tears now escaped from those paled hues. As sobs escaped him, his eyes wandered. What they were looking for, I couldn't tell you. Those hues didn't remain on the tombstone or anything really. They just wandered as if looking for something…for someone.
"Bang bang, I shot you down. Bang bang, you hit the ground. Bang bang, that awful sound. Bang bang…I used to shoot you down."
The melody was broken. Sobs forcing his voice to crack every now and again. But then…then I realized that was the last time I'd see the blond visit my grave…
Music played and people sang.
There was an annual ceremony. Several witches and wizards would gather around each of our graves, remembering those who lost their lives in the war. While I didn't die serving Hogwarts…or anyone really, they were kind enough to allow that I was buried with the others. Perhaps it was because my time came all too soon like all the other students that lost their lives. No one caught the killer. No one caught him but me.
Just for me the church bells rang.
There would be music and the entire wizarding world seemed to go silent. Bells could be heard as they dedicated the silence to the children who bravely lost their lives. To the children who were victims of those who were against them. To the men…much like myself…who blindly fell in love…who got in the way of things that were out of my control…who bravely took the fall so that the one I loved the most could live a full life.
Now he's gone and I don't know why.
Never did I doubt that he'd visit. Only now I doubt it. Ha. Why would I doubt it? He didn't visit. He didn't need to. I've seen him sometimes. He's with her, their son a smiling blond boy much like his father. The two shared smiles I would have never shared with him.
Until this day I sometimes cry.
Dying for love makes you feel like you've done something so bold. Dying to protect someone makes everything seem worth it in the end. But…seeing the one I loved…loving and moving on with someone else…I can't say it didn't hurt. There were times I wish I was still there. Wish that I'd just kept my bloody mouth shut. I should have never said I loved him. Never told him how I felt. I should have never gotten in the way.
He didn't even say goodbye.
She must be marvelous. To distract him so easily. He's yet to come back. I don't expect to see him again. He's happy again. The way he was when he was with me. I just wish…I could have shown him that I was still here…
He didn't take the time to lie.
Sometimes…I feel like the reason he never came back is because it hurt…It hurt too much for him to remember the love he felt. How he'd betrayed the one person who knew he was worth something of his own. The one person who finally found a light source in his heart.
I'm proud of you, Draco. I love you. Forever and always. Never forget me, promise you twit?
Bang bang, he shot me down.
Bang bang, I hit the ground.
Bang bang, that awful sound.
Bang bang….my baby shot me down.
It's a melody…I've taken with me to the grave…