The absent get farther away every day. Japanese proverb- Qui-Gon Jinn

Friends and Strangers

It had been many years since he had seen the man who stood before him today. This man was his first Padawan learner- the one whose training brought him to the mastery and earned the man his knighthood. They had been student and teacher, like father and son, even friends to some extent. But as was the way of things in the Jedi Order, they parted ways once the Padawan's training was complete and went on to other assignments.

As time passed, the Master trained others and saw less of his old Padawan. At a fateful duel with his Padawan Xanatos, he could even say to the humble born man that his skills had improved since he had trained him. It was good to see the young man again and in spite of the need to rebuke Xanatos for his arrogance in dismissing the skills and potential of his predecessor as Qui-Gon's Padawan, he could honestly say that he was proud of both of them.

But soon, things changed. A Padawan fell from grace and fled. And Qui-Gon no longer saw himself as worthy of training anymore students. With the failure of the second Padawan, he saw himself as a failure even in the case of the first.

And so he sought to avoid the presence of the first as he mourned the second. This man, the Jedi Knight Feemor, became absent from his life. Friends became strangers more so than they had been before. An easy thing to happen within the ranks of the Order, which almost always guaranteed some level of anonymity between former students and their instructors, happened through a combination of intention and circumstance.

It was not until nine years after the fall of Xanatos that they would encounter one another again. They met at the annual Exhibition Day Tournament, where prospective students would compete for the right to become the Padawan of an available Knight or Master.

They would meet not some much as friends but as strangers.

"I've heard that you refuse to take another Padawan." A voice behind him spoke- a voice that sounded rather familiar and yet was the voice of a stranger at the same time.

The noted Jedi Master turned around, finding himself looking at a similarly tall man with neatly trimmed blond hair and blue eyes. There was something about the man that he knew he should remember. The man seemed friendly, open and honest to a fault- all things that the Jedi Master realised that somehow, he knew were associated with the man.

It was then that he knew. It was then that he remembered who this man was. This was his first Padawan, Feemor. Now a Jedi Knight, he had to be finishing the training of his first Padawan by now. Feemor was on the verge of gaining his Mastery, one of the highest points of distinction that any in the Order would ever achieve. And as his former Master, Qui-Gon Jinn should be feeling a sense of pride at seeing his first Padawan achieving this point.

But in his continuing shame, Qui-Gon found that he just couldn't. For all he knew that he had successfully trained Feemor, making the younger man more confident in his abilities and helping him to become a confident Jedi Knight, it didn't help to staunch that little voice in his head.

"Yes, I don't think that there is any point. I am a failure when it comes to teaching the ways of the Force." He remarked to no one in particular.

"I see. So, aside from Xanatos, am I to be considered a failure as well?" Feemor remarked, signalling to his Padawan to continue on to wherever they were going before they had encountered the elder Jedi.

"No, you aren't a failure. You did well with me but your training was almost complete by the time the Council appointed you to me. Master Vesul was responsible for much of your success as a Knight." Jinn responded.

There was some truth to this but it wasn't the complete truth. While Master Tesa Vesul had managed to train Feemor quite capably until the age of seventeen when her premature death had necessitated Feemor having his training completed by Qui-Gon Jinn in the first place. And to many, the most formative years of training took place from the time a Padawan was in their late teens until they reached the Trials. It was during that time that Master Jinn had trained Feemor.

"Master Vesul did help but you seem to have forgotten that Master Vesul also had the reputation of being the most accident prone Jedi in the entire Order. Not that I mean any disrespect at all, I am grateful for all the training and knowledge that she imparted to me before she died. But Master, she tripped into a nest of gundarks and was torn to pieces." Feemor commented, trying to persuade him that he had more of an impact upon his life than his unfortunate predecessor.

Jinn shrugged a bit at this but again, he knew it to be true. He even recalled briefly the time that Vesul had tripped over a misplaced data pad and landed in the middle of a fountain in the Room of Thousand Fountains. Even so, in his present state of mind, he still recalled Master Vesul as a teacher far more capable than he. As far as he was concerned, the fall of Xanatos and everything since merely confirmed one set of facts: that Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn wasn't meant to take any further Padawan learners.

Feemor looked carefully at his old Master and surmised that there was little that he could do to convince the man otherwise. He considered if there was anything that he could do to change that fact. Master Jinn was an excellent instructor; he deserved the opportunity to teach again.

Master Yoda had spent nearly a decade trying to convince the most stubborn man in the galaxy to give way. And in the attempt to convince him, Yoda had only proven one thing. It became the most essential fact that Qui-Gon Jinn was the most stubborn Jedi in the galaxy.

And so, there was only one thing left to do. And that one thing was to continue trying to convince Jinn to teach again. The first step in that was to attend the annual Exhibition Tournament Day.

"Will you go to the Exhibition Tournament today?" he asked.

At this, Qui-Gon laughed bitterly. But in the end, he nodded in the affirmative.

"I see that Master Yoda has been recruiting?"

"Yes. But it is for your own good in the end." Feemor commented.

Master Jinn simply sighed and shrugged. Even with his half-hearted agreement, Feemor was certain that he was still dead-set on refusing to take a Padawan. It was proof once again that Qui-Gon Jinn was the most stubborn man in the galaxy.

"Don't let Xanatos haunt you forever, Master. It was his failure, not yours that caused him to fall. Remember the old saying, the absent get farther away every day. Let go and let this failure pass."

At this, the man cracked a very slight smile. Feemor nodded and went to join his Padawan.

It was good to see an old friend again. But he had become a stranger with their parting of ways over the years and the trauma of the fall of Xanatos. It had affected Master Jinn in more ways than could be said.

It left Feemor hoping that the next time that they met that they met as friends rather than strangers.

FIN