Disclaimer: Neither I nor my personal muse (Ashley, who co-wrote this thing) own these characters. But, we get dibs on Ranger. Also, we own none of the songs. If we did own any of this we'd be rolling around on huge piles of money.

Author's note (very important!): So, the song Ranger sings here is one of the most amazing songs I've heard in my life called 'Confession' it's sung by the all amazing Josh Groban. We spent many an hour listening to his CD's while translating the song into Spanish. Ugh. So, 'Confession' is actually supposed to be sung in English and it's on Josh Groban's new album 'Closer' I highly recommend it to all even remotely interested.

The layout of the songs is kinda creepy, blame my muse who did some revisions. So, that should be all. You may continue. Sorry to have taken up so much of your time.

Lula yelled out to me as I walked into the office. "Yo girl. How's it hangin'? Get any of that fine Batman yet? I would be throwin myself at that man if I waz you."

"I don't know, that Morelli isn't half bad if you ask me. I'd take him over Ranger." Connie said speculatively.

"What!" Lula screeched right in my ear. "Batman beats Robocop any day. Girl you must be blind!"

"Well you guys can argue about this later. Connie, you got any skips for me? I need to pay my rent."

"Sorry, no new perverts today. I can call you if we get any."

"Thanks."

"Hey girl. I got an idea. You need some extra cash? There's this bar down on Lincoln Street. My friend Jackie works as a waitress there. Well this place has a karaoke contest every month. They give a prize, half of all the entry fees. Jackie says it's normally close to a grand. I say we go down there; we need a night out anyway. Workin' for the weasel's crampin' my style."

"You know that could be fun with enough alcohol. I guess I'll go." Connie said.

"I don't know guys. It sounds kind of... embarrassing." Lula snorted and Connie just raised her eyebrows. "It's not like I do that stuff on purpose. I swear!" I said huffily.

A half hour and two donuts later they finally talked me into going which is how I find myself standing here in front of my closet wishing I were never born. I finally decided on a simple black bias cut skirt and an exotic little purple shirt with my purple FMP's to wear. If I'm going to die of embarrassment at least it won't be because of my outfit. I just finished my makeup when I heard a knock on the door.

"Hey Cupcake it's me. Open up." I pulled open my door to reveal Joseph Morelli my on again off again bed buddy. He was currently off but we where still friends, though God only knows how long it will last. "Where are you rushing off to? Distraction with Ranger?" Joe looked at my outfit approvingly but frowned when he mentioned Ranger. He constantly told me to stay away from him and I constantly ignored him. It's a Burg girl talent.

"No, I promised the girls I would go to that bar Lincoln Street Style with them if you must know."

"Lincoln Street Style? You do know that's a karaoke bar right? Oh my God you singing karaoke. I bet the boys didn't bet on that one." Joe started laughing. Really laughing. He fell onto his knees and held the doorframe for support.

"You…gasp...singing...snort...out loud." at this he fell over clutching his sides. An evil thought popped into my head.

"Yes, Joseph me singing. I'm going out with my friends singing and you are one of my friends so you have to come.

"Whoa hold on Cupcake, you know I don't sing." Joe started trying to argue but he was against a vengeful Burg girl. He didn't stand a chance. I finally pressured him into it after swearing I wouldn't tell anyone he came. This could be fun after all I thought to myself as we walked out the door.

We jumped into the Lincoln Al loaned me until my Jeep was fixed and picked up the girls. I pulled in front of the bar and was ready to turn the car around. There had to be at least a hundred cars out here. At least we where far enough from the Burg maybe no one would know me, and maybe pigs could fly. We finally found a spot and all tumbled out of the car. Connie and Lula where a little unsteady on their feet and I suspected I had some catching up to do in the drinks department they had been both at Lula's house and it looked like they started partying without us. As we walked into the bar I looked around while Lula and Connie left with Joe to get a table and more drinks. Oh my God! I pinched myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming and peered into the dark corner booth. The Cuban Sex God aka Batman aka Ranger was sitting watching some blonde belt out The Beegee's Staying Alive. I walked over and slipped in next to him.

"Never pegged you as the karaoke type, guess you're just full of surprises."

"Cute Babe. I'm here on a job. Doing surveillance on that blonde up there singing. What are you doing here?"

"Ughh," I groaned. "Lula and Connie convinced me to come here and I forced Joe to come. Hey, since you are here you can come too." I figure I can get one of the men in my life to do it why not the other.

"Don't think so Babe, Morrelli won't appreciate me cutting in."

"What are you, chicken? You've never cared what he thought before. You just don't want to sing, I bet you're bad aren't you? Batman has a weakness after all!"

"Babe, there are very few things I'm bad at." Oh no it's the wolf grin, shit he probably rocks and I'm going to embarrass myself in front of him. Maybe I won't sing. "Give me ten." Ranger turned and pulled out his cell phone. I stood up and walked over to our table where Joe had already ordered us all drinks. I picked up my beer and took a gulp; there was no way I could do this sober. Ranger came over to the booth and slid in next to me placing me between him and Morelli. Hormone overload. Jackie came up to our table and handed each of us a pink sheet. Lula explained the rules for our little karaoke adventure because it had been her idea to come. She laid out the rules for our night. It seems Connie and her had decided this would turn in to a personal contest. Each of us had to sing one song. The song had to be either A: special to us, B reveals personal info/feelings (I suspected they came up with that when they saw Batman was joining us) or C: accurately describe us. Any one who chickened out had to pay for all the drinks.

"What about a prize for the best one?" I asked

"How 'bout we each put in twenty bucks. Then at the end whoever got the best reaction from the rest of the bar wins?"

We each put in our money and ordered more drinks. Judging from the way us three girls where going it would be a big bill for whoever lost. All of us filled out our sheets and then we argued what order we would go in. Finally we drew straws. It was Connie, Lula, me, Joe and then Ranger. Connie walked up to the stage first; wobbling slightly I think from the three daiquiris more then nerves. She handed the DJ her sheet and he motioned her onto the stage.

"Hello one and all and welcome to Lincoln Street Style Karaoke Contest. Our first contestant of the night is this smokin' lady. She's gonna be singin' R.E.S.P.E.C.T. so let's show her some and give her the floor!" Several of the rowdier patrons whooped and whistled as the music started and Connie slowly began.

Hey, what you want, baby I got it
What you need, mmm, you know I got it
All I'm askin' is for a little respect when you come home
(just a little bit) yeah, baby, baby, baby
(just a little bit) when you come home
(just a little bit) hey
(just a little bit)

She started to get into it swinging her hips and moving her arms.

I ain't gonna do you wrong, while you gone
I ain't gonna do you wrong because I don't wanna
All I'm askin' is for a little respect when you get home
(just a little bit) hey baby
(just a little bit) baby when you get home
(just a little bit) hey hey hey

By now Connie was moving from side to side holding notes and singing at the top of her lungs completely out of tune but everyone in the bar was too drunk to care they just whistled and goaded her on.

(just a little bit) yeah yeah yeah

I'm about to give you all of me money (mmm)
And all I'm askin' in return honey
Is to give me my propers when you're movin' out
justa, justa, justa, justa, justa, justa, justa, justa) ooh

She stood up straight throwing her head back and holding the note for an impossibly long time. You would think her boobs where filled with air like a camel's hump has water.

when you get home
(just a little bit) do it for me now yeah
(just a little bit) mmm

Ooh, your kisses, sweeter than honey

Blowing kisses to men in the audience wriggling her hips

Ooh, guess what, so is my money

Making universal money sign

And all I need, hey, just a little respect when you get home
(just a little bit) hey baby
(just a little bit) when you get home
(just a little bit) do it for me now yeah
(just a little bit)

R to the e-s-p-e-c-t
Find out what it means to me
R tot the e-s-p-e-c-t
Take out t-c-p

She threw her hands in the air and started doing the dance from the Blues Brothers. I never thought she had it in her. This was kind of scary.

(sock it) hey
(sock it to me, sock it to me) a little respect
Hey baby, yeah yeah yeah yeah
(sock it) I don't wanna,
(sock it to me, sock it to me) just want a little bit
O baby, o pay me (respect) where ever I go
(ooh ooh ooh give it to me) yeah, tell it
All over the world, o pay me respect. "ohhh yea!"

Connie dropped her head and put the microphone back on it's stand her face was flushing a bright crimson while several men whistled and called to her offering to learn some of that respect.

Connie walked back to the table and flopped down. "You go girl! Nice. But watch a real woman do it." Lula got up and heaved herself onto the stage nodding at the DJ that she was ready. "Well here's our next lucky lady! Gonna be hard to top that last number but let's see you go. Here it goes, I Like Big Butts by Sir-Mix-A-Lot. Hit it girl!"