A/N- First, don't judge the name, I suck at coming up with good ones.

Second, this is just a little one shot. It got into my brain and I didn't have any choice but to write it down.

So sorry if it's shit, I don't generally do one-shot type things, or third person. I'm more of a 50k words+ first person kind of writer.

Feedback, positive or negative, would be greatly appreciated so I can improve my writing for the future :)

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: Skins isn't mine.

Naomi was twelve years old the first time she fell in love. She was in middle school, sitting by herself and eating an organic peanut butter sandwich her mother had made, when she saw her. Across the canteen, surrounded by a group of people yet still somehow looking invisible, Emily Fitch was sat with her gorgeous brown hair falling delicately over her shoulders, looking like she'd rather be anywhere but there. Emily looked up, as if she could feel someone looking at her, and her brown eyes locked on Naomi's blues. It was a tiny sliver of time, barely even two seconds, but that was all it took. From that moment on, Naomi would be Emily's, no matter how hard she tried to fight it.

.

And she did. She fought it after they kissed, after they made love, even after she finally admitted how much Emily meant to her. Several painful years passed, they were filled with betrayal, denial, and fear. But Emily didn't stop trying to catch her, and finally, Naomi let her. She was still scared, she still got the urge to run when she woke up some mornings and saw Emily's beautiful brown eyes, so filled with love and adoration, staring straight into hers. But she didn't. Because she loved Emily with every part of her and she was determined not to be a coward any more.

.

They were twenty one when they got married. Their families thought they were too young, their friends thought they were too young, but they had no doubts at all. They loved each other and knew that what they had was forever. The ceremony was small, just their closest family and friends. But it was perfect, everything they could have dreamed of. They had their family, they had their friends, they had each other, and they were happy.

.

Until they weren't.

.

The fights started slowly. A few disagreements here or there about mundane things like Naomi neglecting to fold their clothes right away and allowing them to wrinkle, or Emily not taking care of her dirty dishes. Eventually, close to their fourth anniversary, the fights were happening almost daily.

Their jobs only made things worse. Less and less time was spent lounging together on the sofa or making love, and more time was spent having silent dinners or morning fights. Naomi knew things were bad. She was pulling away from Emily, putting her job before anything else, and so Emily pushed her away, and dove even further into her own work than Naomi had. They still loved each other, but lately it was becoming harder and harder to find reasons to like each other. It didn't take long for Naomi retreat into her work instead of confronting her wife, and soon enough Emily did the exact same thing.

.

.

"Naomi what the fuck have you done with my purse?" Emily's voice carried easily through the thin walls of their flat, shattering Naomi's concentration as soon as it reached her ears.

The blonde huffed in annoyance, scrunched her eyes shut, and clenched her fists. Doing everything she could to free her voice of the anger she was feeling inside.

"Why the fuck would I touch your purse Emily?" She replied. Her voice was calm but her words still carried venom.

"I don't know! Maybe you're trying to make me late!"

Naomi rolled her eyes, and tried, though apparently not very hard, not to bite back with one of her usual retorts.

"Yes, because I just dread the moment I don't have to hear you screaming in my ear."

"Do you have to be such a fucking sarcastic bitch every moment of your fucking life?" Emily asked, appearing in the doorway of Naomi's supposed 'quiet place.' The blonde's concentration was completely dissolved, so she turned in her chair to look at her fuming wife. Despite the anger and annoyance she felt for the girl in that moment, she still couldn't help but find her beautiful.

"You look nice," She complimented, raking her eyes over the black pencil skirt and white silk top that was covering Emily's tiny frame, her dark brown hair falling delicately over her shoulders. Emily's body relaxed slightly at her words, but her face remained stoic as ever.

"Where is my purse? I'm gonna be late." Emily demanded. Naomi looked at her with a cold expression on her face for a few moments before leaning back and crossing her arms over her chest.

"I don't know," She said in a way that made it obvious that she did know.

"Naomi I swear to god. Tell me where my fucking purse is right now! Or do you actually want me to lose my job?"

"Maybe I do," Naomi admitted as she swiftly stood up, "I mean, I barely even know who you are any more! Ever since you got that job you've turned into a cold hearted workaholic bitch!"

"That's really fucking rich coming from you!" Emily yelled, stepping closer to her wife, "tell me, when was the last time you came out of this room for more than a half hour at a time unless it was to go to the office?" Naomi felt her rage rising. But couldn't find words to say because she knew Emily was right, even if she refused to admit it, "It's fucking miserable being around you when all you ever think about is your fucking articles." Emily yelled at her, "For fucks sake I thought we'd be starting a family by now! Having kids and pets and being fucking happy! But none of that has happened because you would rather spend your time lost in your own fucking world and far away from me!"

"If that's the way you feel why the fuck are you still here?" Naomi spat, successfully breaking her own heart in two, "You're miserable. So leave. Divorce me and go find someone you can actually stand to look at."

"You think that's what I want?" Emily asked, "You think I want someone else?" Naomi didn't say anything, she just continued to look at her wife, anger in her eyes, "Fine. Fuck you then Naomi. I loved you. I fucking loved you with every part of my being. But this girl. Whoever the fuck you're turning into, I don't, love her."

"Go then," Naomi spat back, "Nobody's stopping you." She didn't miss the way Emily's lower lip quivered, or the way she had to blink a few extra times to stop the tears from spilling out of her eyes. But she didn't say anything else, she just sat back down in her chair and turned toward her computer, flushing all of her emotions out of her until she was numb enough to say the only other thing she could, "your purse is next to the sink in the bathroom."

She listened as Emily hesitated. She listened as Emily finally turned and left her office. She listened as Emily sighed when she no doubt remembered placing the purse in the bathroom the previous night when she ran in there straight after work because of how bad she had to wee. She listened as Emily sniffled and walked down the hall. She listened as Emily hesitated once more in the door to their flat. She listened as the door finally closed behind her. And only then, when she knew she was completely alone, did she allow herself to cry.

.

She allowed herself fifteen minutes of crying before she got back to work on her latest article. She knew this was bound to happen, they couldn't keep going on the way they were, but she had still hoped they would be able to fix it. She tried to focus on the words she was typing out, but her mind was unable to focus on the political issues of her country when her relationship was so obviously falling apart. She didn't like feeling as hurt as she was, so she did the only thing she could. She forced herself to feel angry instead. Angry that things got this bad, angry that she didn't do anything to stop it, angry that she blamed Emily for all of it, angry that Emily didn't love her any more, and angry that she didn't put up more of a fight.

.

Forty five minutes after Emily left Naomi was no longer sobbing and feeling sorry for herself, she was downright furious. Furious to the point of picking her desk lamp up and throwing it against the wall, watching as the different pieces flew off of it and the bulb shattered. It was just as the dust settled around her small bit of destruction that her cell phone rang. Seeing Emily's work number pop up only seemed to fuel her rage.

"What the fuck do you want Emily? Calling to yell at me because you can't find your work files?" She spat into the receiver.

"Naomi," The slightly panicked voice of Emily's assistant came over the line.

"Sara, is everything alright?" She asked after taking a few calming breaths.

"Put on the news Naomi," Sara said, her voice shaking. Naomi sighed in annoyance but walked into the living room anyway and flicked through the channels until she got to the right one. There was a breaking news report about an explosion in the tube. The same tube that Emily rode to work every day. Naomi felt all of the air rush from her lungs and her heart stilled in her chest.

"But, Emily's at work right? She left forty five minutes ago."

"She's not here Naomi," Sara said, Naomi could hear the tears in the young girl's voice, "I was on the phone with her, she said she was getting on the train and she'd be in soon."

"When Sara? When did she say that?" Naomi was downright panicking by this point.

"About ten minutes before the explosion. I've tried calling but her phone's going straight to voicemail."

Tears started streaming down her cheeks as Naomi tried to wrap her head around what Sara's words meant, "No, please Sara no."

Whatever Sara said next was lost to Naomi's ears. The phone fell out of her hand and bounced on the carpet as she read the words on the TV screen. Northern Line Explosion. No survivors found. Estimated 60-70 casualties.

"Families are being notified as soon as possible," The reporter's voice flowed through the speakers.

She frantically picked up her phone and hung up on Sara before dialing her wife's number. No matter how many times she did it went straight to voicemail.

Around what had to be her hundredth attempt her phone started ringing, an unfamiliar number popped up on the screen. She knew what it meant, and she didn't want to hear the words, but she answered anyway, "Hello?" She asked, her voice shaky.

"Yes is this Naomi Campbell?" A professional sounding man's voice came through the receiver. Naomi bit her lip as a fresh wave of tears welled in her eyes.

"Yes, this is her."

"This is Officer Tim Lewis, I'm so sorry to be the one delivering this news to you," the voice said, Naomi's legs got weak, "Your wife, Emily Campbell, was registered as being on the Northern Line train. There was an explosion and we are projecting very few, if any survivors. We are asking all family members to be prepared to come down to the station once everything is cleared up to work through the details of the situation."

"No," she sobbed, her legs completely giving out, "Please no."

"I'm sorry ma'am. We will call you again when we have more information. I'm so terribly sorry for your loss."

Naomi didn't hang up the phone, she just let it fall from her hand as she curled up into an unidentifiable pile of limbs on her living room floor. The tears were streaming relentlessly down her cheeks and her chest felt like it was caving in. Every word she spoke that morning was a stab of regret in her chest. Remembering every moment spent in her office instead of with her wife only added to it. Emily. Her Emily. The woman she loved more than anything and everything in the entire world was gone, and the last thing she told her was that she was giving up on them.

There was a moment as she sat there, where every single good part about her life with Emily flashed through her mind. She could feel every touch, hear every whispered 'I love you', see the sparkle in Emily's eyes on their wedding day. So many regrets washed through her in the same moment. If only she would have told Emily where her purse was sooner, if only she would have spoken to Emily about the problems they were facing sooner, if only she wouldn't have let things get as bad as they had. Maybe Emily would have been home safely in her arms if she would have just been honest with the girl. If she told her how lonely she had started to feel instead of pulling even further away than Emily was pushing her. Maybe if she did any of that Emily would still be okay.

.

She tried to picture it then. A world where Emily didn't exist.

She couldn't.

.

The tears eventually stopped, but the pain didn't. If anything, it only intensified with each moment that passed. How was she supposed to go on without the one person in the world who could make her feel truly happy?

It had only been a little over a half hour since officer Lewis had called her. Only a half hour with the knowledge that Emily was gone, and already she felt like she was drowning. Her face was stiff with dried tears, and her eyes felt like they might as well be swollen shut, the world inside her flat seemed to be frozen in time, as if the world stopped spinning at all. She sat up against the couch and hugged her knees to her chest, staring at her phone wishing she could will Emily's name to pop up on the screen. She couldn't.

.

She sat there, staring at the phone, for another hour. The pain in her chest was consuming her, taking away her ability to do anything but stare. How could this happen to her? How could the one thing that mattered in the world be ripped away from her? What had she done to deserve this? What had Emily done to deserve this? She was such a pure soul. So full of good and always wanting to do nothing but help people. How was it fair that she got ripped from the earth before she even had the chance to make the difference she wanted to? Naomi had an internal mantra of 'Why couldn't it have been me?' going through her mind. She wished it was her that was on that train instead of Emily. She should be the one who had to die. She wasn't special to anyone, her wife would have been better off without her, her mum would get over it. Other than them there really was nobody else. Emily though, she was a part of every person's life she ever met. She had a mum and dad who loved her more than anything, a brother and sister who would be devastated to know she was gone, friends and colleagues and clients who all loved her to pieces. And a wife, who even when she couldn't stand to be in the same room as her, would never ever be happy with anybody else.

.

There was a knock on her door then, but she didn't get up to answer it. Whoever it was, Naomi didn't want to see them. She didn't want to see anybody ever again. But the knocking continued, and seemed to be getting louder, so she eventually gathered up the rest of her strength and pulled herself to her feet. She couldn't feel anything but the pain in her chest, and everything around her still felt blurred, like part of the peripheral. The only thing on she could focus on was the fact that Emily would never again be walking through their front door and rushing to the bathroom after work. She would never get to cuddle with her on the sofa and watch stupid American TV shows. She would never kiss her soft lips again. Or look into the deep pools of brown that more recently carried anger instead of love.

She hated these thoughts, because the crippling pain they created brought even more tears to her eyes, if that was even possible, and by the time she reached the front door her cheeks were again covered in a waterfall of tears.

She didn't look through the peep hole to see who it was, she just steeled herself, preparing to tell whoever it was to fuck off, and opened the door.

The sight of the person on the other side did about a million different things to her at once. Her tears stopped, her breath caught in her throat, her eyes widened, her heart clenched painfully and then started beating as fast as a hummingbirds, every part of her brain told her she was hallucinating, and then her tears started back ten times stronger than they had been a moment before.

"Emily," Naomi breathed, a tsunami of relief and disbelief washing through her as she lunged forward and embraced her sopping wet form. She was freezing, and shivering, and crying just as hard as her. But she was alive. Emily was alive. "They called me," Naomi sobbed, "They called and they said you were on that train. They told me you were dead." Emily tried to pull away from her, but Naomi wouldn't let her. She didn't care if they were fighting. She didn't care if she basically gave up on their relationship not two hours ago. The only thing she cared about was that Emily was alive, in her arms, and she was never letting her go, "I'm so sorry Emily," She sobbed into her wife's shoulder, "I'm so sorry I put work before you. I'm sorry I let you push me away. I'm sorry about everything I've said in the last six months. I'm sorry I haven't been good enough for you. I love you so much. You're fucking everything to me. I never want to lose you again. Please don't let me lose you again."

Emily pulled her head away from Naomi, successfully this time, but only so she could look up and press their lips together. It was the first kiss they'd shared in over a month, and it was filled with all of the love, longing, and need that their relationship had been lacking. "I should have been on that train. I was on the train, but I got off at the last minute because I couldn't find my purse and it left without me and then I was waiting for the next one and the explosion happened. All I could think about was that if I died on that train, I would have left you thinking I don't love you, and I couldn't imagine anything worse than that." She cupped Naomi's tear stained cheeks in her freezing hands. Brown eyes met blue and the world seemed to start spinning again in that moment.

"I love you Emily. I love you so much and I'm sorry things have gotten so bad. Please don't give up on us. I want you. I want kids and pets and a house with a picket fence. I don't care about my job. I'll quit if it'll make you happy. I don't need anything in my life but you. Because a life without you wouldn't be a life at all."

Naomi pressed her lips to Emily's again. Channeling all of her emotions into a single kiss. With it she was saying, 'I want you. I love you. I'm sorry. Everything will be okay. We will be okay.'

When their lips finally separated Naomi still didn't let Emily out of her embrace. She was afraid that if she did, it would turn out that it was all just a dream. That her mind had conjured up a pretend Emily, and she wasn't sure if she was prepared to deal with that hellish form of reality. "I love you too Naoms," Emily whispered into the blonde's shoulder. Naomi was clutching Emily as if she was the only thing holding her to the earth, as if she would float away if she even thought of letting go. Emily pulled away slightly and looked up at her wife, "do you really mean it? We can start talking about a family?"

Naomi nodded eagerly, the thought of children still made her nervous. She never though she was fit to be a parent. But with Emily by her side, she knew she'd be able to do anything, "Kids, pets, fucking monthly dinner parties with your parents. I don't care. Whatever you want. I'll give it to you. I'll become the perfect housewife if that's what you want. You can be the breadwinner and I'll stay at home and clean and take care of Emily Junior and make sure you have a warm meal when you come home every night. I'll do whatever you want me to Ems. I'll be whatever you want me to because I refuse to lose you again."

Emily let out a chuckle through the tears still streaming down her cheeks and leaned up to kiss her wife again, "how about we start small, maybe get a cat? And we can see where we go from there."

Naomi smirked, unable to help herself, "A cat? How very cliché lesbian of you."

Emily smiled and shook her head, pressing her cold lips to Naomi's one last time, "I love you Naomi."

"I love you too Emily," Naomi whispered, gently caressing Emily's cheek, "Forever."

"Forever," Emily quietly replied as a shiver ran through her body, "can we go inside? I'm freezing."

Naomi nodded her head, and pulled away from the brunette, but not completely. She still had her wife's small hand held in her own as they walked into their bedroom. "Emily," Naomi said as she followed Emily into their closet, "why are you so wet?"

"The city was in chaos," she said as she peeled away her clothes. Naomi still refused to let go of her hand, so the task was proving to be difficult. Emily didn't protest though, "and it was pissing down rain and I had to walk home through the chaos and the rain. It took forever."

"Couldn't you have just taken a cab?" Naomi asked, pushing away the shirt Emily was about to pull on. She admired the view of her wife in her matching cobalt blue bra and knickers before pulling her close to her. Using her own body heat to warm Emily up.

"I didn't have any money on me," Emily said, relaxing into Naomi's embrace.

"Didn't you have your bank card?"

Emily shook her head and sheepishly looked up at her wife, "I don't remember where I put my purse, I think it might still be on the train."

Naomi chuckled and kissed the top of Emily's head, allowing herself to relish in the feel of their bodies moulding together. She knew things wouldn't change overnight. It would take time and effort from both of them to build their relationship back up to what it used to be. But now Naomi knew what it felt like to lose Emily, or at least to think she did, and she wasn't about to face that pain again. She knew some things had to change. She had to focus less on work and more on Emily. She had to make an effort to be the wife Emily deserved, and she had to accept that things wouldn't always be perfect. She wouldn't always remember to fold the clothes before they wrinkled, Emily wouldn't always do her dishes right away. But that was okay, because their flaws were part of what made them who they are. What made them love each other. Naomi would always be passionate about the things that mattered to her, and Emily would always be there to calm her down. In return, every time Emily misplaced her purse, which they both knew would happen a lot, Naomi would be there to help her find it.

So good or bad? I honestly don't know.

So YOU should tell me what you thought :)

Yes I'm a review whore. Go ahead. Judge me.

ALSO. Little bit of shameless self promotion, if you haven't yet, you should go over and check out my much longer fic, One Step at a Time.

It's got lots of Naomily adorableness and a pretty unique element to it. I'll let you figure out what that is by going and reading it.

Okay, that is all, don't forget to leave a review :) and have a lovely day!