Sweden was walking through the upstairs' hallway, humming a hoarse, uncharacteristically cheery tune to himself as he carried a large box of IKEA-labeled plywood in his arms. Sweden was going to carry it downstairs to the basement, which he converted into his personal workshop for his weekend building hobby, so he can finally make that miniature army fort Sealand was bugging him to have for his green army soldiers.
Although the box's heaviness wasn't an issue for the Scandinavian giant, the box's size obscured his already-horrible vision, and with his mind preoccupied with mentally creating a design layout for the toy fort, Sweden didn't notice the old-fashion rollerskate Denmark carelessly leave around and stomped on it. The skate rolled backward and Sweden slipped.
And he flung forward into the stairway of pain-stricken hell, eyes wide with terror as the box flew from his arms and he flailed his arms to prevent the fall too late.
As he tumbled downward, Sweden's forehead pounded against the rail, and his life flashed before his eyes.
"Denmark, please don't do this," Sweden pleaded as his older brother climbed over a fence to sneak into the llama pastures. When he saw that his brother succeeded and was making his way towards the sleeping llamas, he sighed and went after him with the intent to stop him physically if needed.
Denmark smiled dazedly at his younger brother, and slurred in a voice that was drowned in alcohol, "Aaaaaaaaw, c'mon, ya big p-p-pusshay! They're juss llamas! The-the fuck they gonna do? Eh heh heh heh..." He slapped one of the llamas on its bottom and jumped away.
The llama awoke immediately and locked eyes with Sweden, the one it concluded who attacked seeing as how no one else was within its sight. Sweden froze where he stood, and- very involuntarily- his eyes travelled down to that area which indicated the awake llama was a male. A very horny male. Sweden took off, the llama not far behind.
"DENMARK!" Sweden screamed over his shoulder as he sprinted and wove about to avoid the horny wrath of the llama. Denmark just laughed drunkenly until he passed out in the mass of llamas.
As Sweden continued to fall down the stairs, the back of his neck pounded and bent against a stair. He yelped in surprise and pain.
"Big Brother, are you sure this is okay?" Ten-year-old Sweden asked as he looked up at the apple balanced on his head.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure, I'm sure!" Denmark grumbled as he struggled to properly place the arrow onto the bow. "Now quit your damn questionin'!"
Sweden felt his forehead hit the wall, and he was momentarily dazed.
Thirteen-year-old Sweden was roaming around in the large and seemingly-empty library, reading a large book called "The Tome of Norse Religion" that Norway recommended to him to help him with his future departure to Norway's country, when someone cleared his throat.
"Um, excuse me, sir?" The soft voice spoke. Sweden looked up and was soon captivated. The small man standing in front of him, twiddling his fingers shyly and avoiding eye contact, had creamy, delicate skin, full pink lips that radiated in even that nervous smile, and blue eyes that were so kind that Sweden felt the sudden urge to hold this man in a tight, loving embrace and stroke those thick, smooth strands of gold hair lovingly.
"...Yes?" Was all Sweden could manage. He inwardly shuddered in ecstasy at the beautiful angel in front of him and blushed heavily.
"You, er, wouldn't mind helping me, um, finding the first edition of 'Columbus's Travels and Discoveries', would you?"
Just when Sweden was about to comply eagerly, Denmark walked passed and read his little brother's body language, something that almost no one else was able to do. He sniggered as Sweden subtly quivered in nervousness and stared intensely at the small man in front of him, which Denmark knew meant that Sweden was enjoying the view.
"Awwww!" Denmark squealed as he went over to the two and threw an arm around Sweden's shoulder. "How cute, my little brother's acting all nervous and shit!" He turned to the smaller man and smiled goofily. "He definitely wants your dick, dude!"
"DENMARK!"
Sweden's body twisted, and his shoulder hit the rail, too.
"Denmark, I think I'll feel more comfortable with a professional," Sweden said as he struggled against the chains holding him down to a chair, underneath a sheet that Denmark tied around his neck to cover his body and outfit. He didn't want Denmark to cut his hair because he'll do a terrible job and make his hair stick up in that ridiculous fashion. Plus, Denmark took forever and he didn't want to be late for his date/international conference with Finland.
"Aw, quit your pissy belly-aching, Sweden! I'm good at this!" Denmark assured his little brother as he picked up each razor one by one, inspecting them closely to see which one were the right pick. "Ah-ha! Here we go, little bro! Now, how low do you want the cut?"
Sweden accidently landed on his arm during the fall, and he felt a pang go up his wrist as if it was sprained.
Five-year-old Sweden crept up to a house with Denmark, looking up at his brother curiously as he wondered why does his older brother seem so excited and hungry when he kept peeking through strangers' windows. "Big brother, why are we looking through windows, again?"
Denmark waved his hand frantically to quiet his younger brother. "Shut up, Sweden!" he hissed quietly as he ducked and peeked over the windowsill. "You wanna see the beautiful gift of hot sex, don't you?"
Little Sweden nodded uncertainly.
"Well, then, pipe down and just look! They're not going to fuck each other if they know we're here!"
"...Okay."
Sweden's face pounded on the stairs as he went down.
"My lady, you have given birth to yet another wondrous boy," the midwife praised as she carried the towel-swaddle baby away from the tub of cleaning water and to his mother.
Scandinavia, sweaty and tired-looking to the point of going into a coma, smiled gently as she held her arms out to receive the baby. When the midwife placed the baby boy in her arms, she looked down at his little sleepy face and kissed his nose. "Germania, look at this," she whispered to the man standing behind her.
He looked down at the baby and smiled gently, too. "He's magnificent, Scandinavia. It does my heart so much good to see my newborn second son and my entire family before going off to battle." He looked at his older son, a small child standing far away shyly. "Denmark, my boy, come here and look at your little brother. You're going to have to take care of him and your mother while I'm gone."
Nodding in compliance, little Denmark walked to his family and stood on his toes to look at the newborn baby. He tilted his head and slightly frowned. "Wow, he's kinda fugly..."
Sweden finally rolled past the last step, and he landed sprawled on his back on the ground level. The box landed neatly beside Sweden as he slowly sat up and tried to end the swirling vision that was dizzying him. Gripping his head with a hand, Sweden pushed himself up with his other hand and steadied his footing. When he noticed Denmark's rollerskate that magically rolled forward and tumbled down the stairs after him, Sweden grunted angrily and picked up the box in a huff.
Damn that stupid-ass Dane, he cursed his older brother inwardly as he went back to his task.
Yeah, I don't know what that was. O_o
Oh, wait, I know what it is: it's a nice distraction from the other fanfics I should be trying to update.