Chapter 1
There's a time in a cow's life in which they experience something that leaves them wondering 'What is god?'. But when ones just leave it unanswered, ones believe it is negative and you are deemed evil. I am not one not to know. I am not one to disbelieve. And I most definitely do not believe God hates us, a perception that is most commonly and very wrongly used. I have been the only cow this farm's seen that's been there, came back and was able to withstand forces of Hell. One is to be a fool to they believe that such a beautiful place as Heaven (and trust me, it's good) were not to exist after a well-spent life. But the reason I came back is to protect and eternally be with the ones I love. Which brings us back to the night of Saturday, May 14, 2015.
Creatures came to DJ.
He got his lightsabers out.
"You try anything, you'll be sorry." said a creature with a very evil voice.
"Then you don't know what I'm made of!" said DJ.
"Beef that needs to die!" said the creature.
DJ had a flashback that took him back to a little boy.
"Hey, BEEF BOY!" said one of the other calves.
"You're just a stupid, fat piece of steak!" chanted another calf.
"Are you gonna cry to your mommy, beef boy?"
"Fuck you." he said to the other calves.
PRESENT.
"FUCK YOU!" he shouted, attacking them.
On June 6, 2015, things have gotten so bad that animals were revealed of how the really act and it was no longer a concern to most that wanted to reveal them. To those that knew and wouldn't tell, they happily had books written.
A female bird (Harpy-bird) with cyan feathers, a purple hair color, a red shirt, orange shorts and a golden locket gave a speech. She was currently the vice president, her name was Aida and she was the sister to the dim-witted Harpy-bird, Airwing.
"We are struggling with creatures worse than ever imagined." said Aida. "Mastress Dark has been defeated and seems as if she'll never be back. However, as her crew has disappeared, many more coyotes are still out there and are still to worry about. The last time something like this has ever happened was from the deadly swine flu. Luckily, three brave individuals whom I never really met yet but wish to risked their lives to end the flu and did. They survived and emerged victoriously. The bottom line is, we are at the edge of the end of the coyote wars, but the darkside has thrown something worse at us. It would be scary to release the names of types of creatures next."
Airwing, Aida's sister of course, poked her in the back.
"What?" Aida whispered.
"FKJ, I gotta pee." said Airwing.
"Then go!" said Aida.
"Where's the potty?" asked Airwing.
"I haven't had to go, so I don't know. Look for it!" said Aida.
"You stay here?" said Airwing, confused. "That's yucky!"
"Oh my jeez!" said Aida. "Look for the potty, Airwing."
She went up to the microphone. "Anybody seen Potty?"
"Here, honey." said her cousin. "Take my hand and follow me."
Airwing tried to take her hand away from her.
"I can't." said Airwing. "It's stuck."
Her cousin was another female and of course a Harpy-bird. Her feathers were also cyan like Airwing's and Aida's, but her hair, which was pulled back in a ponytail, was rose red. Her name was Haiden. She was nicer to Airwing than Aida was. Aida was always mean to Airwing because her absence of intelligence of even simple things embarrassed her.
They went out of the room.
"Alrighty then." said Aida.
Barnyard. Six in the morning.
DJ had just gotten up to make sure nothing happened to the rest of the farm.
With his powers, he made the day's mail appear in the mailbox and checked it.
He had gotten a letter from Cyd Ghost, one of his friends. Apparently, his wife kicked him out and he's staying down here for a little while.
Town hall.
Aida, Airwing, Haiden and news reporters walked were on their way to exit the building.
"Excuse me... Mrs. Harper, how can one stop the madness that the creatures bring?" asked a reporter.
"No ordinary person can stop them." said Aida, gruffly and pulled up a pant leg, revealing huge scars. "I had to fly myself away."
Barnyard.
"So, what are you going to do now that you're getting to see a friend you haven't seen in a while?" asked Pig.
"If you think it's time between the both of us, you're fucking gross!" asked DJ. "I still know how you said Bigfoot was hot. Well, I'll tell you one thing. The only Bigfoot I like is the vehicles."
"You mean monster trucks?" asked Freddy.
"No, I mean vehicles, because they're not just monster trucks." said DJ.
"Just out of curiosity, are you...like...bi or something?" asked Pig.
"Why the FUCK would you ask that!" shouted DJ.
"You have an ear ring." said Pig.
"Cows commonly have ear TAGS!" shouted DJ. "The Jersey Cows all have ear tags! Does that mean they're gay?"
"Possibly." said Pig.
"I am convinced Eddy likes my mother." said DJ.
"...Or bi." said Pig.
"You are gonna die if you don't stop!" said DJ.
"Don't touch one of them!" said Ben.
"Will you shut the hell up for once?" asked DJ.
"What was that?" asked Ben. "Run that by me again!"
"Ben, I don't wanna hurt you." said DJ. "Back down or I'll lose control of my self-esteem."
Ben done so.
"Cyd is a very strict guy." said DJ. "Miller, Daisy and Rosey, I know it will be hard to do, but we must not fight."