Oh look, somehow I got myself into another rare/crack ship that have never actually interacted in the anime! Oh well, enjoy my first attempt at a Bankotsu and Sango story. Can be friendship, can be romantic depending on how you look at it.
Also, to those who don't know me, I can't write an actual 'short' story for the life of me. I'm pretty sure I spelled a few names wrong so I apologize.
"So you're that ninja girl then," he'd tilted his head to the side, taking in the sight of the girl dressed in clothes far different than he probably remembered. "Sango, right? I can't say I remember you that much."
That was fair. I didn't remember him either.
The first day I believed in reincarnation was when I was 18.
Okay, believe is a strong word. More like, accepted it as a part of my life that others would discuss constantly. I never really cared that much whether it was true or not. I'll admit it was interesting, but that was as far as it goes.
I guess it was thanks to Kagome and Inuyasha that I decided I had no choice but to at least accept it. The two had acted like star crossed lovers their entire lives, despite the fact they'd known each other since they were in grade five. By the time I'd joined the group of five at the beginning of high school, everyone was convinced the two of them were going to get married. They were constantly bickering like old souls yet when one of them got so much as a nosebleed the other was there in an instant. Not to mention the number of demons and monsters that would attack them and somehow never could get in a scratch. Honestly, when Kagome told us that they had been together in a past life, it seemed to be the only thing that made sense.
Maybe I should pay more attention to these past lives, but I didn't even remember it. All the others had some flashes, though Kagome was the only one who remembered everything. She was the most spiritual of us anyway. Kagome claimed she remembered her past life and the past lives of all of us. Miroku and Inuyasha could remember a few things, though Shippo had only a few flashes. I have to admit, some of their stories just seem too detailed and supported by history to ignore. If it's a religion or a lifestyle I can understand. But anything other than that does not seem important to me. The past should stay in the past, the future should be something that we prepare for and we need to remember to live in the present.
I was a demon slayer. I wasn't a part of the supernatural. I was the one who ended it.
It wasn't like reincarnation was that hard to grasp. My family did raise me as a demon slayer, and despite what television tells you, monsters and demons aren't all hot guys that will whisk you off to a magical land. Though, perhaps Rin and Sesshomaru are the exception. I was a little skeptical when Kagome said Sesshomaru was reincarnated to since I thought demons lived so long they didn't need reincarnation. But hey, if a demon slayer could somehow become friends with a half demon and a lecherous 'monk' then anything's possible right?
When Kagome tried to convince me to follow the path of my past…self? Ancestor? Sango version one? To put it in twentieth century terms, she shipped Miroku and me to high heaven and back. Apparently in the past we had been happily married and died together. Honestly thought, I wasn't that big on following someone else's path, even if it technically had been mine. Yes, I could see it worked for her and Inuyasha. Sesshomaru and Rin looked awfully happy together to, though he waited a few years before making her immortal like him. But for me and Miroku…maybe it had worked in the past, but things were different. We both wanted different things with our lives. One time during our first year at university, we actually talked about it. We acknowledge the happy moments that we'd had in the past and that it had been good. We both knew that no matter what we would always have a connection and would always be close friends. But even he knew that that was the past. We wanted to live life our way. In the new age he didn't want to get married. I refused to let the choices of my past rule me.
I wanted to live my life as if I had never been reincarnated.
As if it was my first.
As if I had no past.
So I could be free.
It wasn't until I met him that I realized that I should have paid more attention to the life of my past.
I had first encountered him when I was at work. I worked at a sports ware store during the summer and spring, then went on leave during the school months. It was during what must have been the slowest day of the spring that he strolled in. Not only was it in the middle of the day on a Tuesday when most people are either at work or people 17 and younger were at school, but it was a storm outside. A huge storm, with rain pounding against the windows and thunder shaking the ground with lightning bright enough to put the lights inside to shame. Maybe that was why he'd come in that day.
When I heard the bell over our door go off, I'd both cursed inwardly and sighed in relief. I was bored out of my mind, but at the same time was pleasantly happy daydreaming while waiting for my shift to end. I only had twenty minutes before my friends got there to pick me up. May as well go help the customer, I had thought as I got up from where I'd been kneeling to put the new shoes on the racks.
Unfortunately I finished my work too late. By the time I finished what I was doing and went to go help the customer, I could already hear the voice of my fellow coworkers echo through the store. "Hi, my names Kagura. Is there anything you need help with?" Even after hearing her voice, I decided I had to go over and check for certain. Kagura hated talking to customers and hated using the high pitched worker voice even more. She was usually found on her phone trying to ignore people or sending customers to others saying it wasn't her department. I guessed she must have been very bored that day. Or just wanted a distraction from the storm.
When I turned the corner and got a good look at the customer, I decided she had ulterior reasons.
The man who walked in was certainly someone who'd catch your eye. He had been wearing a dark blue hoody that had been unzipped to reveal a fitting white shirt. His pants were dark with a silver belt that hung loose, more for decoration than efficiency. The shoes he wore I recognized as sports sneakers, but they were extremely worn out. His silver necklace sported what looked like a dog tag, but he looked too young to be military. Then again, he was pretty fit for someone his age. He looked not much older than me, maybe in his mid-twenties at the most? I was only twenty one, but I doubted he was anything more than twenty five. He even had a long braid of thick black hair. How many guys can actually pull off long hair? Not many, but he did it well. And I mean VERY well.
Not that I was looking of course.
As I had walked over I overheard Kagura starting to lose ground. "Um…we probably have something like that…" He must have been asking for something rare, considering she usually knew where everything was. When she caught me walking over I could see the relief in her eyes. "Ah, Sango! Do you know where we keep the weaponry?"
I did a double take automatically. Weaponry? Was she serious?
The sports goods store was also a front for demon slayers. Sometimes a few would come into town and restock their weapons at our store. But whenever that happened they always called ahead. Kagura was a demon proving she wanted no harm to do humanity by working with them, but she wasn't allowed to handle any dangerous weapons. I could deal with it, but normally we had at least two slayers in the building to be safe. Often we had to call the boss in if anyone wanted anything. But we had gotten no call, and the man who was waiting wasn't someone I recognized at all.
When Kagura called to me the man spun around to face me. It wasn't till he turned that I noticed the tattoo of a four pointed star on his head. I didn't recognize it, but the style looked familiar. Another clan of demon slayers? After my eyes trailed away from the tattoo I focused on him. I'm embarrassed to admit my heart skipped a beat.
If he was a slayer, he was the most attractive hunter I'd ever seen. Only when I stood next to him did I realize he was actually quite tall. He'd looked fairly short from far away, but up close I thought he may have been taller than Inuyasha. (Not sure about this, but wiki says he's actually quite tall, so I'm going with it.) He had a strong face, set in a relaxed expression as his eyes lazily took me in. His eyes were a deep blue that seemed to draw you in and demand attention. While he looked easy, relaxed, there was a seriousness in his eyes that proved he was more powerful than he let on.
More than that. He seemed very familiar.
I didn't realize he was waiting me to speak until I heard Kagura cough behind him. "Um," I hesitated for probably the first time in my memory. Kagura must have noticed, because she smirked quickly. As quick as I could I tried to compose myself and put on a fake smile. "Depends what kind of weaponry you want. Do you have a reference?" If he was a slayer, we weren't allowed to sell him weapons unless he had a reference from another slayer the store knew. Anyone who was just looking for hunting weapons would bring out ID instead of a reference letter.
He scratched the back of his head trying to remember. "Huh…I don't think so…give me a second." He reached down and picked up a black backpack I hadn't noticed before. As he searched through it for the first time in a long time, I was conscious about what I was wearing. The work uniform was black pants and the blue polo top with the occasional dark jacket if it was ever cold. But I'd come in early that day so I hadn't bothered with makeup, not to mention I'd thrown my brown hair into a lazy ponytail. Inwardly I cursed for caring, but couldn't avoid trying to straighten my outfit while he did his searching.
"Let's see," he murmured to himself. His voice was velvety smooth, almost mesmerizing. "I'm sure I had…ah, here it is." He straightened and handed me a paper. When I unfolded it I found it was the regular letter of recommendation. It fit all the credentials, had the slayer's symbol and proper information. But something about it was off. The name underneath was one I had never heard of before. It was a lord of the west judging from the symbol. Not to mention…there was a splatter of something red on the side.
Blood?
"Is it alright?" I had looked up into his blue eyes which entrapped me with one look. My gut had told me there was something wrong, but I had no reason not to help him.
Perhaps I should have listened to my gut.
"Yes, everything looks fine. Right this way." I led him towards the back room where we kept our weapons. He strolled along behind me as casually as one would walk through the halls of their own home. I had paid not mind to it as I unlocked the door and opened it to reveal our weapons. Swords, poisons, crossbows, anything that specialized in demon killing rested on our walls. He had whistled to himself when he'd looked over our selection.
"Not bad. Could probably supply a whole army with these."
I'd smiled, but only to be polite. "I certainly hope that we never need an army." I'd stepped aside to let him get a good look at the products. "So what are you hunting?" I'd asked conversationally, trying to keep the mood light despite the pounding of the weather outside.
He had shrugged as he looked at the weapons. When he shrugged, his sweater slipped down his shoulder a bit. Sango caught sight of what looked like a simplistic dragon tattoo on his collar bone. "Whatever I can find," was his vague answer. "I'm just looking for a challenge."
I had assumed that meant he was an amateur hunter. All hunters who were good always had a plan ahead of time or came with a team. It sounded like this guy was just hunting for the heck of it. Perhaps a family tradition he'd never wanted to do but gotten used to it? "There are a few small demons around here if you want. Most hang around forest areas or try to kidnap teenagers in high schools,"
"Naw, nothing like that," he interrupted with a shake of his head. "I want a real challenge. I don't need anything small, I want a fight. A real fight." When he smiled, it wasn't the kind of smile that made you feel joy inside. It was filled with anticipation, excitement for what was coming ahead. There was no fear, no dread, no boredom at all. He wasn't hunting to save lives like the rest of us.
He was hunting purely for the thrill.
Now that was rare.
"You got any tools for sword repairs?" He had turned away from the swords to meet my eyes once again. Maybe I should have noticed just how blue they were. They were quite a deep blue for a human. "My brother's sword got damaged. My other brother needs to repair the knives on his claws." Two brothers? Perhaps he was a more experienced slayer than I thought.
"I believe so." I had dragged a number molds and forge tools for repairs. "Will these do?" He had scratched his head again. I wondered if he was just as clueless about what he needed as I was.
"Ah, these will do. Renkotsu will know what to do with It." he took the tools without question. He'd bought the weapons with cash, just like most foreign slayers did. I hadn't blinked twice when I put the money in the register. He'd grinned when I'd handed me the bag. "Nice. Now I can finally fix my banryuu." For some reason, that had made me hesitate.
"Just a sword? That's your only weapon?" He'd blinked at me. I wasn't sure if he was confused or actually curious about my questions. "It's just…That's it?"
"That's all I need." His grin left no room for doubt. Even thought I had just met him, there was something in his confidence that made me want to believe just his word. I didn't know anything about him…but his words were honest. He'd tilted his head to the side, that time examining me as I had examined him. "Are you worried about me little ninja?"
"I…why wouldn't I be?" I had paused at his words. "And I'm not a ninja."
He smirked. "Demon slayers may as well be ninja's if you ask me." That made me curious. Did that mean he wasn't a slayer? "I'm flattered that you're worried about me little ninja," he had grinned, that time the smile had made my heart skip in a good way instead of through fear.
"But if I were you," he'd advised as he took the bag, keeping his eyes on me as he started towards the door. "You shouldn't be worried about someone who may become your enemy."
I hadn't known what he meant. I'd only stared at him in surprise as he watched me. His blue eyes were familiar. I knew I'd seen them somewhere before. But no matter what, I couldn't figure out what it was about him that was familiar. I didn't recognize him. I didn't know who he was.
All I realized in that moment was that somehow, he recognized me.
"See you around little ninja."
Without another word he'd turned, his long dark braid swishing through the air as he did. I'd watched him go, feeling like I was missing something very important with every step he took away from me.
Before he reached the door however, I'd gotten another surprise.
Through the pouring rain my friends finally came to pick me up. Just as he was about to leave the door burst open, revealing a soaked Inuyasha, Kagome, Miroku and little Shippo from the end of school. The minute Inuyasha and the stranger's eyes locked they both froze. Kagome had caught sight of the stranger and she gasped in shock. Her eyes were wide with recognition I remember. I didn't see that same look in Inuyasha's eyes…but I knew he could tell something was off. Without a word, I knew he saw him as an enemy. I had no idea why. I couldn't tell what he was worried about. But for as long as I had known Inuyasha, when it came to enemies, I knew he was never wrong.
Neither had said a word when the stranger left the store with nothing but a smirk sent in my direction.
Then he was gone.
"Sango, who was that?" Miroku had asked while I had been getting my stuff form my locker.
"A customer," I'd told him while Shippo kindly grabbed my bag for me. "He was here for sword repairs. I think he's a slayer here. Said he was looking for a new challenge," I'd continued, but Miroku had shook his head.
"I don't think that was a slayer," he noted, glancing back in the direction he had left.
"He didn't smell human," Inuyasha had sniffed the air in distain. "He smelled like a demon." That caught all our attention.
"What? How is he not human?" Kagome had sounded more shocked than the rest of us. "Before he was human! He should have been reincarnated as a human!" All of us had turned to her, questions in our eyes. IN my mind, a part of me felt triumph. I knew it. I knew I had been right.
I knew I had recognized him.
"How do you know that Kagome?" Shippo had piped into the conversation. "Did you know him?"
She had nodded like it should have been obvious for all of us. "That was Bankotsu! The leader of the band of seven!" Both Inuyasha and Miroku had shot up at the term, but Shippo and I were clueless. When Kagome saw this she explained, "He was the strongest human we'd ever faced, possibly the strongest human in the world. He was one of the deadliest assassins in the feudal era!"
Okay. That sounded bad.
Over the summer, the man known as Bankotsu had become a conversation starter for a while. Kagome could remember him well, but his story of the past didn't tell us what he was doing in the present. He'd been our enemy, a bloodthirsty mercenary that had been brought back to life with his brothers. He was incredibly strong, had apparently worked under our enemy. Inuyasha acknowledged he had been one of the only enemies he'd sort of, kind of, not exactly hated fighting. At least, that was how he put it. He'd been clever while acting foolish, he could see traps while pretending to be ignorant, and he was strong while looking like a normal person.
But most of all, he'd been human. And humans should have been reincarnated as a human.
Inuyasha's nose was never wrong. He didn't smell human, or even rotting corpse if he had been brought back to life again. All he could smell was demon.
For the first time I wished I had memories. I wanted to remember this enemy.
None of us could figure out why he wasn't human. All of us had been reborn the same species as before. Inuyasha had somehow managed to become a half demon once again, and that was really rare. We'd even convinced Rin to ask Sesshomaru what he knew about it, but she came back with no response. Either he didn't know, or he had just not said anything as usual. One demon we'd befriended, Kouga, had been just as confused by the news. "Maybe because he was a murderer? Fate usually isn't kind to people like that."
We didn't find out that summer. As the weeks turned to months the questions were slowly lost to time. We faced other demons that threatened the town, we got ready for our third year of university and we didn't hear a word of the band of seven again.
But at night, I dreamed. I dreamed of those blue eyes. Thought I would have been embarrassed, I would have preferred I was having pleasant dreams of those eyes. I hoped I was dreaming embarrassing things about how handsome he was or how strong and powerful he could be.
All I felt in those dreams was fear. An assassin was back. A man who cared about nothing but the thrill of the hunt and the power he held to bring anyone to their knees. And he was a demon.
I had no idea what he could be doing.
That is, until I saw him again.
The second time I encountered him was at a lecture. I remember thinking it was the last place I would ever see him again. The two places I had seen him were ordinary places, but I always pictured meeting someone like him somewhere different. In battle? While hunting monsters in a forest? Usually when I met creatures of the night it was, well, at night.
But just as professor Kaede started her lecture on the story the journey to the west, the last person I had ever expected walked in late.
He was dressed almost the exact same way he had the first time I'd seen him. The same dark braid, same dark pants and worn shoes. Even the same black backpack. His skin was still tanned as if he'd been living somewhere with a lot of sun. The only difference was that he was wearing a white and black sweater with a blue shirt underneath. Yet it didn't make much difference. It was still him. He still had the same piercing blue eyes.
If I was to remember anything, I wished I could remember him.
Maybe he caught me staring. Maybe he could actually sense me with his new abilities. But through the crowd it only took him a second to see me. It only took a second for him to recognize me. It only took a second for him to grin.
It only took a few more for him to take the spot next to me.
"If it isn't the little ninja!" I'd been a little startled at the nickname. So startled I hadn't even complained when he took the spot next to mine and propped his feet up on the chair in front of us. He just flashed me an easy grin, and I wondered for the first time if he remembered me at all.
"I'm not a ninja," I'd told him without even thinking about what I was saying. He just shrugged again, leaning back in his chair as if he owned the place. I don't really remember, but I doubt Kaede was happy about that.
"Well, all slayers may as well be ninja's if you ask Me." he set his back down in front of him, and I was surprised to see him pull out a binder. Was he a real student? What could a demon possibly be studying? Then again, Inuyasha was half demon and he was studying law enforcement. Even his brother had gone to a school in America for business. Most universities and colleges weren't exactly making sure all their students were human. If they were, my family would have nothing to do.
"I'm a demon slayer," She clarified once again. "I slay demons. Demons like you." I knew threatening a fellow student, demon or not, wasn't exactly the first thing I wanted to do in that class. Kaede hadn't noticed the tension between us sitting a few rows from the back. But anyone who paid attention would have known it wasn't a situation they wanted to walk in on.
"Ah, so you figured it out." He scratched his chin, appearing thoughtful. I was surprised how relaxed he remained, despite that I had just told him I could kill him. Maybe I should have been insulted by his composure. "Let me guess. Inuyasha? I thought that white hair was hiding a pair of ears." At first I wasn't surprised. Just about everyone who knew about demons knew Inuyasha's father. And in turn, knew about him.
It wasn't until after the thought passed that I realized just knowing Inuyasha's father, the great demon dog, did not mean he should know Inuyasha's name.
"Or was it the girl Kagome?" He pretended to ponder the question while he allowed me to come to my own conclusions. "From what I remember, she used to have a lot of spiritual power. Or the monk? Naw, I doubt that. It was probably both Inuyasha and Kagome."
"…You remember your past life."
His smirk was the same as before. It sent chills up my spine. "I'll admit, I was surprised when I remembered it all. I was hunting a demon who gave me back my memories in return for his life. Took me quite a while to find the reincarnations of my band. Most died as humans, though I was able to find Renkotsu, Jukotsu and Suikotsu. Imagine my surprise when I found you lot from my past." His grin was icy when he caught my eyes. "Did you miss me?"
I knew better than to answer that question. "…your band? The band of seven?" I didn't remember who he was talking about, but Kagome had told me about a band of assassins that followed him in the past. I dreaded the question that came next. "…Are they demons to?"
My question must have been a sore spot. His smile fell as he sighed and leaned back against his chair. "Nah. It's just me. The only one who was brought back as a demon. Guess how old I am, seriously." I didn't respond. I wasn't sure I wanted the answer. "They're all aging quite a bit. Jukotsu's looking for a way to make a deal with a demon to lengthen his life, though he hasn't found it yet. I'm not sure he will." I was surprised to hear a bit of remorse in his words. "I've made quite the name for myself as a demon though. Killed more demons than ever before." He must have noticed I tensed up, because he rolled his eyes. "Don't worry, I don't kill humans. They're too weak to pose any kind of challenge in this century." I wasn't sure if I should be relieved, or insulted.
Then again, he hadn't fought me yet, so what did he know?
"Why are you a demon?" His pause was much longer than I expected. I risked looking away from whatever Kaede was saying to try and catch his eyes again. Again, I was surprised when he didn't look at me. He couldn't meet my eyes. His bright blue eyes were frozen staring at the blackboard that I knew he wasn't actually reading. I don't know what I said that had made him pause. But I found myself wishing to be staring at his blue eyes again.
"…I don't know." His voice may have kept an even note, but there was a sorrow underneath that gave even me the chills. "Maybe this was some kind of curse? I'm about, oh, 213 years old or something like that. I hate it. I was born strong with great power and even a dragon kingdom to rule over whenever I want. I hate them. I was always proud to be a strong human. I got my strength on my own, I earned it. I was never born with it. I've tried hard to continue to make my strength my own, but there are few people who want to fight you when you are born strong. 213 years of being a demon. Who knows how much longer I'll live for." He trailed off, as if debating his own dilemma to himself. I didn't understand what he was so sad about living longer. What was wrong with a long life?
In all honestly…I think I sympathised with him. This person who was supposed to be my enemy…I understood him. His power wasn't his own. It was predetermined. Even if his power was great, it wasn't his. There was nothing he could do to avoid that, so he would do all he could to try.
"…You can still be you." I don't know why I said it. I didn't even think he would care.
He turned to me, raising one eyebrow curiously. "What?"
But when he turned to me I found the words spilling from my mouth like a waterfall. "You…your past life doesn't make you you. You can still get stronger, still beat as many demons as you want. If you don't want to be a mercenary anymore…You don't have to." He didn't move. He just continued to watch me, hold onto my every word. "It's your life. You do what you want."
Kaede's lecture went on. Neither of us said a word.
I saw him a few times after that. He came to the lecture every time. We sat next to each other. Most of the time we didn't say anything. We just came and took our seats next to each other like it was the most natural thing to do. I don't know why my demon slayer instincts never kicked in and I struck him dead. He reminded me of Sesshomaru sometimes, a demon but not one that needed to be killed. It wasn't because of my past because I didn't even remember my past. Maybe it was because…it wasn't in my past. It was something that the past me had avoided. Because circumstances wouldn't let it happen. But perhaps the past me would have done what I did, if she had the chance.
So I did it instead. I did what I wanted to do. And I tried to befriend someone who was an enemy.
Eventually we started talking. Not much of course. Only when we saw each other in class. I don't even remember who started speaking first. But one day we were talking about the subject in class. Then we were talking of our weeks. Then we discussed our kills. The demons we hunted. Then…somehow…we really started talking.
There are a few things that he said that really stuck with me, even after we walked away. When he told me about his brothers, the ones that were still around. How excited he got when Jukotsu said he may have found a way to lengthen his life, but then his depression the next day when that plan failed. How he boasted over one of his kills and I nearly had a heart attack when he forgot to tell me it was a demon, not a human. Then one day, he asked me something I hadn't been prepared for. "Is your brother still a ninja like you?"
I had rolled my eyes. Again. "I keep telling you, I'm not a ninja."
"Sure you are," Bankotsu had snickered. "Your brother was fine with it when I called him that before."
I had frowned, not sure to be terrified or just plain confused. "When did my brother tell you that? Come to think of it, when did you meet my brother?" My brother lived at home, pretty far from the school we both went to. I lived in a residence house with Kagome and Rin, or at least we would when she graduated high school. There was no way Bankotsu could have met my younger brother.
Bankotsu had tilted his head to the side like he normally did, flipping his bangs in front of his eyes. "Yeah, I did. In the past life, not present…Is that one of the things that you didn't remember?" When I realized what he meant, I felt my blood go cold.
"Oh…Yeah, that. Of course I remember that."
"You don't."
"I don't."
"Huh." Bankotsu chewed on the end of his pencil thoughtfully while Kaede lectured on the history of the creation of Japan. "You said Kagome told you a lot…So what do you remember for yourself?"
I'd hesitated, and I'm not sure why. It wasn't like I was hiding the truth. I told everyone else without hesitation. But for some reason I was…worried about telling Bankotsu. "W-well I…I know a lot that happened thanks to the others but…As for myself I…"
"Whoa, whoa…wait. Hold it." I could see a familiar grin starting to surface on his face. "You…you don't remember anything."
I had never been ashamed of that fact until he said it like THAT. "Well…I, uh…not really?"
"You don't remember anything?"
"K-Kagome and the others tell me everything!"
If Bankotsu started laughing, he would have laughed so hard that the entire lecture hall would have been staring at us like we were the teachers. "You don't remember anything! I could tell you anything and you wouldn't know the difference!" A few people gave us odd looks while I secretly hoped that I disappeared and found myself back in time as my past self. That must have been why I was worried about telling him. Because he would use it to his advantage.
When he finally calmed down and Kaede stopped glaring at him, he whispered in my ear. "So, what are you running from?"
I scowled at him. "I'm not running from anything."
"Well you've got to be running from something. If not you would have tried to remember." I had turned away with a shake of my head. After we passed through the reign of another emperor I realized he was still focused on me. I raised an eyebrow as if to say 'can I help you with something?' "Are you running from something bad? Avoiding something you did in the past?"
"No, I'm not. I just…it's not important. I don't care." It was his turn to give me the 'care to explain' look. "I don't care about myself of the past. Perhaps I am her, and I act just like her." He smirked a bit. "…According to Kagome. But still, I'm not going to let what I did in the past dictate what I do in the future. I want a fresh start. I want my life." At that point, I think I was starting to get uncomfortable with the way that Bankotsu was looking at me. His blue eyes were hardened with focus, revealing that hidden seriousness that he often tried to avoid. "What? Don't you get it?"
"No. No, I get it. I may be the only one who gets what you're talking about."
I was startled by his conclusion. I had waited for him to answer, but he hadn't. Instead he's turned back to the lecture, commenting that "I guess I should be grateful. If you had been focusing on your past a lot, I would be alone here."
Alone.
Why did the fact that he was there make me feel so…so…free?
Why was not being alone both so freeing and yet…captivating?
I never told my friends what was going on. I'm really not sure why, but perhaps I was worried they wouldn't like it. They were always so focused on their past lives and used them as a way to guide themselves and decide who to trust. I doubted they'd agree with me that Bankotsu being a demon may not be a bad thing. Inuyasha didn't trust anyone new and I was sure he would go chasing after him as soon as he found it I knew where he was. Miroku and Kagome would both disapprove but do it silently. Shippo may start yelling his doubts to the air until Bankotsu fell over laughing.
I didn't need to see that.
It wasn't as if Bankotsu didn't know. I told him that I hadn't told the others. At that point I was starting to worry I told him more than my closest friends. He hadn't minded. "None of my business. You aren't fighting for your lives every day anymore so you don't have to tell them everything." He'd paused as he we packed our bags at the end of the lecture. "So what else has changed? Your clan still dead?"
"My clan was dead?"
"Alright, not important," Bankotsu had whistled softly. "Naraku still a pain in the butt?"
"You mean that lawyer who is running for mayor?"
"I'll take that as a yes. How about your brother, he still a ninja?"
"DEMON SLAYER. And yes."
"Good, good…Are you still dating the monk?"
His tone was unfamiliar, and I automatically took it as a threat. "If you attack any of my friends, I will stop you."
Bankotsu had rolled his eyes carelessly, tossing me my binder so I could put it in my bag. "I know, I know. Seriously, you think I'm just going to jump the gun and go on a killing spree? The cops around here are so weak I get disgusted thinking about fighting them." He paused for a moment. "But you're not with the monk?"
If I hadn't know any better, I would have thought he was kidding. "Have my stories of us having to get him out of trouble with flirting with girls and demons not an indication?" Bankotsu had snickered automatically, but I was surprised when his laughter was short. There was something bitter in the sound.
"I'll admit, I was kind of pissed at the idea of him flirting with some girls when he should have been loyalty to you." I was taken aback by the sudden change. I part of my heart actually started pounding a bit faster at the idea that Bankotsu was starting to care for me.
I guess old enemies really can become close friends. Maybe…even closer.
To distract myself from my pounding heart I coughed to try and clear my voice. "Y-you really value loyalty that much huh?" If he heard the hesitation in my voice he didn't comment.
Bankotsu swung his bag over his shoulder before meeting my gaze. "Comradeship and trust in people you care about are some of the most valuable parts of living." Well, how was I supposed to argue with that? I found myself unable to disagree with him as we finished gathering our stuff.
I remember it wasn't until later that I thought to ask, "…why'd you care so much that my boyfriend may have been cheating on me?"
"…Because…ah…hey, you know that report is due tomorrow."
"What? Tomorrow?"
One thing led to another and in the end, I never got my answer.
But I had a pretty good guess.
It wasn't until later that I regretted not telling my friends about our meetings.
It was a fair. I'm not kidding. Rin had wanted to go to a fair after exams before Christmas and Inuyasha didn't trust his brother around humans while I didn't trust Miroku not to run off with some strange girl. So, somehow, we all found ourselves walking around in the fair. At one point Miroku and Inuyasha had been competing in shooting the fake ducks while Rin, Kagome and Shippo were looking at some yummy foods. Sesshomaru and I were standing at the side, watching the others enjoy. I was a bit tired at that point while I suspected Sesshomaru had only come to watch Rin.
"Come on Miroku, can't you put up a bit more of a challenge?" Inuyasha had been complaining.
"I'm sorry Inuyasha I'm just not as competitive as you are." Miroku sighed as he was beat once again. "Perhaps you should find someone with as much of a competitive streak as yours."
Bankotsu and Inuyasha would have a fun time competing with each other. I thought unwillingly. I found myself thinking about Bankotsu more and more often. Sometimes I wondered what he was doing while I was with my friends. Was he hunting demons? Doing school assignments? Something about the idea of Bankotsu leaning over a desk writing an essay on a computer made me snort. Sesshomaru barely glanced at me but I knew that the look wasn't a compliment. I wondered how different the new life Bankotsu had gotten was. As a demon, what was different? His life was longer...would he find someone to make immortal? Could he even do that?
"Sesshomaru?" He didn't say anything, but I knew I had his attention. "When Rin finally turns…ah, you said you would wait till she was 20, right?" She was only 17 at the moment, so he still had a while to wait. Sesshomaru nodded. "How will you turn her immortal?"
"…Demons are not immortal," Sesshomaru explained. Honestly, I was surprised he even answered. "That is a human misconception because we live much longer. Demons are able to lengthen the lives of one person they choose. This can only be done with a mate however since the connection must be strengthened by both romantic and friendship love. I can give Rin life so her lifeline will be equal to mine, nothing more."
Choose one person to share their life with? So did that mean Bankotsu could lengthen the life of another? I found myself wondering who he would pick. For the times we'd talked to each other, he'd never really talked about any romantic interests he had. That didn't mean he didn't feel romantic feelings for others. I wondered what kind of person he would pick. Would they be a fighter, a killer like him? Or would he like someone sweet and small to contrast to his big frame and attitude. A guy looking like him could probably get any kind of person he wanted. Attractive, sweet, talented…
Again I found myself feeling self-conscious about my own stature. I don't know why, I just did. I was taller than most girls. In fact, Inuyasha and Bankotsu were two of the only ones who were taller than me. I had more of a warriors build which Miroku said was very nice, but he'd like any kind of girl. Most guys when they saw me didn't look twice. My features were plain, my talents beyond demon slaying were average. And few people knew I was a demon slayer. Even less thought it was attractive.
Now, I'm not insecure. Far from it. I know my talents and I know my failures. I'd always known my romantic life was one of my disadvantages. I'd never minded before that night. Before I realized that Bankotsu was the kind of person who had no problem with it. I'd seen pairs of eyes trail after him. I'd watched with interest a few times girls had tried to give him their number. He always turned them down. I was pretty sure it was partly because he didn't care about anything but killing…but partly because of his beliefs in loyalty. I knew how he felt about remaining loyal to his companions and he'd told me he felt the same loyalty should be given to a lover. He would never chase a girl unless he was genuinely interested.
Whoever that girl ended up being…I was sure was going to be very lucky.
The loud scream from the far side of the fair interrupted my thoughts. It sounded like a women, and many screams began to follow hers. In only seconds there were hundreds of people running away from the sound of the screams, all looking horrified. As a demon slayer by nature, I had a feeling that what they were running away from was exactly what we would be running towards.
My feet started moving before my head. I found myself following Inuyasha and Miroku who had gotten a head start while Kagome, Kilala and Shippo hurried behind me. Sesshomaru hadn't looked interested in the noise and had instead gathered Rin and pulled her to who knew where. He did that a lot.
Unsurprisingly, Inuyasha got there first. When the rest of us arrived we were shocked to see what looked like the biggest scorpion demon I had ever seen crawling over the Ferris wheel. Inuyasha had snarled, pulling his sword tetsiga out of his back pack. "You guys get rid of the witnesses. I'll destroy this thing with one,"
But he didn't get the chance.
We all watched in awe as the giant scorpion was struck in the side. The one blow was strong enough to send the large demon toppling off the Ferris wheel and crashing to the ground. We all watched in awe as the scorpion burst into four separate creatures, human looking things with red skin and scorpion's tails. More than that, we were all focused on the dark blur that had jumped down to survey the damage he had caused with the punch.
It may have been dark, but it was hard to ignore that dragon tattoo…
One of the creatures launched itself at Bankotsu. With a snarl he whipped out his sword-I'm assuming it was the banryuu he was so fond of-and defended himself from the blow, both of them crashing to the ground with the creature on top of him. "Bankotsu!" Kagome shrieked, a mix of terrified and confused. Bankotsu flicked his gaze over to us at the sound of his name.
"Oh, it's you guys." He glanced through the crowd until his eyes landed on mine. "Hey Sango." With that he returned to the fight, punching the creature in the gut and sent him flying backwards.
Unfortunately, my friends weren't as casual as he was with the greeting. Inuyasha turned on me, eyes flaring. "'Hey Sango'? Did he just say hey Sango?"
My hesitation did not help me at the time. "I…Well I…"
"No time to talk," Miroku had said, probably saving my life. "They are coming!" Luckily Inuyasha was distracted by the scorpion demon that charged at him. That was when the real fight began.
I don't remember much of the fight really. I remember Inuyasha had taken down one, Bankotsu the other. Miroku, Kagome and Shippo had worked together to defeat the third while Kilala and I had destroyed the fourth. We defeated them quicker than I had expected. But the battle itself was not over when the enemy was on the ground.
I can't tell you what exactly led to the moment. But as soon as I had finished with my enemy, I was shocked to see Bankotsu completely annihilating his already defeated enemy. His Banryuu had been tossed to the side as he punched the demons hard shell with his bare hands, refusing to stop until every inch of that shell was cracked. "Give him back! Don't you dare die on me until you've given him back!"
"Bankotsu!" I had completely ignored my friends by rushing over to Bankotsu's side. "Bankotsu, it's already dead!"
"Give him back!" He screamed, ignoring me completely. "Give my brother back! Suikotsu!"
I had caught my breath. Suikotsu?
Yanking his arm back he landed one final blow that was strong enough to break iron. The creature's skull crashed open and instantly the body was melted into ash like the others. Bankotsu didn't move, hovering over the demon's remains as if the battle had struck him as dead as they lay. My group had been yelling something, or maybe they were just talking. Either way, I hadn't heard them. Instead I'd put one hand gently on Bankotsu's arm, a desperate attempt to get his attention. Bankotsu didn't move. He stared down at the mess like it was his lifeline. His one last piece that kept him on the earth. "Bankotsu? Can…Can you tell me what's wrong? Where is your brother?"
"…He's dead," Bankotsu had answered. I'd sucked in my breath and closed my eyes. I had expected that. But I'd hoped I was wrong.
Bankotsu's voice had been low, solemn. Lacking the cheery undertone it usually took. "They came at him while he was at work," Bankotsu went on to explain. The chill his voice rose in me was much worse than the fear I had felt before. It was much, much worse. "When he was the other him he was a doctor. That guy was just human. He didn't know how to fight. Stinking demon pretended to be a patient and struck him down. Now he's gone," he added, finally turning to face me. His blue eyes lacked the familiar warmth that I'd grown accustomed to. That I'd started to expect. "Muikotsu…Kyokotsu…Ginkotsu…now Suikotsu." He was cold, broken. Almost like the same empty shell that he had just destroyed.
"They are gone," Bankotsu forced out, the sound unbearably similar to a choke. "They are all leaving me. I-I'm going to be alone."
I hadn't known what to say. I wanted to say something. My heard bled with his at the loss of comrades. I'd lost a few over the years of demon slaying. But I knew for him…a demon who kept in the company of mortals…it was different. "..Bankotsu…"
"It's this stupid curse," he went on, finally pushing himself to his feet. "Fate decided to make me a demon to make me suffer like this! To abandon me like this!" He finally looked at me. Really looked at me, focused on my eyes and the girl that stood before him. "It may just be Suikotsu now Sango but who's gonna be next? Renkotsu? Jakotsu? You?"
Me.
Would I die and leave him?
Leave him…
"I can't take it," Bankotsu ran his hands through his hair. His eyes were wild with fury and fear, a desperation that a normal man would not be able to understand. "I can't take this life! I don't want it!" Before I could stop him, Bankotsu sprinted away from me and towards the forest. He was fast-faster than Inuyasha. I barely had to blink before I knew he was gone.
Behind me I could hear the questions of my friends. I heard Inuyasha yelling, Miroku questioning and Kagome trying to calm the others down. I knew I owed them answers. I knew they deserved a right to know. But I decided that for that day, for that moment, I would have to hope they would do me another favour. And wait for those answers.
Bankotsu ran.
And I…
I chased after him.
Despite his speed, he hadn't run very far. I found him thanks to the glint of moonlight off his sword. By the time I ran up to him I was exhausted while he looked ready to run another marathon. Emotionally however, he looked drained. His head was in his hands as he stared at the grass underneath him. He looked like a man who had just lost everything. But he hadn't. I knew he had more brothers left.
But that was the thing. He wouldn't have them for very long.
A human's lifetime is barely a blink compared to a demon's. He would blink, and just like Suikotsu, they would be gone.
Bankotsu finally moved to look up when I approached him. The look in his eyes nearly broke me right then and there. They were overwhelmed with sadness, grief, terror, and many more that I just couldn't name. And there were so many, that they forced themselves into nothing. It was like the emotions were so great so he dealt with them by becoming an empty shell. What is the point of it? His eyes seemed to say in contrast to the emotions he felt. What good does all this sadness do if it doesn't bring him back?
"Sango…I never feared the afterlife," Bankotsu told me, eyes both overwhelmed by the despair he felt. "I've always believed in living my life in the now. But this life?" he gestured to his body, already beginning to heal thanks to his supernatural abilities. "This demon life is not a life I want. This life will not end for centuries. It just goes on and on, I don't even know when it will end! I don't want to live this long!"
In my foolishness, I had asked him, "Why is living so long such a bad thing?"
"Because I am the only one that lives this long! The people I care about die! I can blink and they are gone and they are all happy meeting each other again in the afterlife but I don't get to see them. The all leave me Sango!" he cried out. "I want to see them again! I don't want to be left here to go on without them!"
I don't know what the trigger was. I don't know if it was something he said or just a random coincidence. But while I had been running from my past life for so long, when I was faced with someone I cared about fighting his own demons, mine seemed so much smaller. I saw that like me, he was running from something. But I didn't know what. So nature decided to let me remember.
I don't know how I remembered.
I just did.
Not everything of course. I didn't want to remember everything. I wasn't ready for that. I just wanted enough to remember him. And to remember what about his story I had learned.
Bankotsu didn't fear death. He'd charged into battle with Inuyasha in the past knowing he would either win and his life would be taken by Naraku or Inuyasha would kill him. Death did not scare him. Pain did not scare him. Even the thought of losing brought no fear to his heart.
But a powerful human who needed to travel with others? One that charged to his death at the loss of them, even when they had betrayed him? A man that valued loyalty above all else and took his word as law? No, that man did not fear death. He feared something much worse.
Loneliness.
Bankotsu was a man who was afraid of being alone.
So in a way, we were both running. I was running from a past that was filled with choices that were not my own. He was running from the inevitability of being alone. So how could we possibly fix something like that?
Well. For starters. One of us had to stop running.
As I knelt down in front of him, I was very conscious of the fact that he was a demon. A demon that could probably kill me with a flick of his wrist if I wasn't careful. He looked so desperate and hopeless I wasn't sure he wouldn't do it out of a desperation for peace. But I knew I couldn't leave without at least trying. I told myself it was for his sake…but in reality, I knew it was for my sake as well. "Bankotsu?" He didn't respond. "Bankotsu." Again, no answer. "Bankotsu, please look at me." At first, he didn't.
Then he did. His blue eyes mesmerized me just as they had before. The situations were completely different but the feelings were very familiar. I refused to let myself back down. I refused to let myself get nervous and look away. I was a proud demon slayer. I would never back down when someone I loved-cared about needed me. "Bankotsu, I'm here."
"For now," he grumbled, looking away.
"No Bankotsu," I took one of his free hands with both of mine. His hands were much larger than mine and extremely damaged. I paid no mind as I wrapped my hands around his. "Bankotsu I will not leave you. I will not leave you alone."
"You're only human," Bankotsu insisted, no amount of faith in his words. "You will die, just like they all will. Then you will leave…"
"No," I insisted once again. "We'll find a way. Sesshomaru is a full demon reincarnation, I'm sure he can think of something." There is the mating thing, my mind reminded me but I blushed at the thought of mentioning that. "I'm not running Bankotsu," I told him, specifically choosing the words he had used on me before. He must have noticed, for he looked up at me with a newfound interest. "I'm not running. You don't have to be alone."
Our eyes were locked, staring into each other's as if daring the other to back down. For the first time in…well, that life at least, Bankotsu looked shocked. I had never seen him so surprised before. I wonder what surprised him. The fact that I was willing to lengthen my life and stay with him, or the fact that I actually meant it. When he opened his mouth, I expected some argument or more disbelief. But I suppose the look in my eyes must have been hard to argue with. "I don't want…to be another part of your past that ties you down." It was my turn for my eyes to widen as he continued. "I'm not going to be your chain. Your link to your past life you feel you need to protect because you have to,"
"You will never be that," I assured him earnestly. "You are the one thing that makes me feel like my life is my own again. Because I chose you despite the past. We were enemies, you were an assassin while I tried to kill the man you worked under. Yet here, I chose to give you a chance that I couldn't in the past. I know you are different, I know…you are someone I can trust. Someone I would be honoured to stay side by side with, no matter how long it takes. So please," I was aware of the begging tone in my voice, the desperation that had once been his edging into me.
"Give me my freedom and let me choose."
We had stared at each other for a long time that night. I don't really remember when we had gotten back. All I remember was waking up in his arms, having fallen asleep next to him. I remember going back to find my friends all frantic with worry. I remember their shock and to be honest…my surprise as Inuyasha's lack of an outburst. He was not as surprised as I had been expecting. Instead he had scoffed, muttering something about smelling him all over me. I remember going to meet his brothers and Jakotsu's insistence that he plan our first date. I remember Bankotsu meeting my family and my father chasing him out for being a demon. I remember the last years of university we spent together and the graduation ceremony. I remember the many journeys, many adventures we spent together in this life before this day finally came.
Today has been…quite a day.
Because as I sit next to Bankotsu, playing with the ends of my white dress while he loosened the tie that threatened to choke him to death. Our friends are all back at the reception while we have managed to sneak away to get some time alone. My hands are still trembling from where he managed to spread his power into me to lengthen my life next to his.
Today is a special day.
Because a long time ago, we stopped running away.
And now we are ready to instead run towards something great. Together.