Faint of Hearts
"Why didn't you just let me go?"
Ranma implored and scolded her, hoping to get some kind of response—any response—even as her eyes remained shut.
"Akane…"
He wanted to whisper her name over and over as if doing so would pull her from whatever dark void she had gone to and bring her back into his arms. He wanted to tell her everything… Kami, he had so much to tell her, but right then he had never felt a stronger urge to say just three words.
He held her closer and that was when he felt it… the way her head fit perfectly against the crook of his neck and the way her shoulders were snug against the span of his arm. It was bittersweet…so much so that he couldn't hold back his tears.
"AKANEEEEEE!!!"
That was when he wakes up.
One month. He'd been having the same dream every night for a month now. Ranma did not realize that it bothered him too much until the third night when he crept out of bed, onto the rooftop and hopped into Akane's window just to check if she was still there. Every night from then on, he would sit beside her bed and stare at her… sometimes when he felt brave, he even held her hand. He would stay there until the next day's first light, after which he would leap out of the window and tiptoe back to the guest room.
The routine was almost second nature to him now, but this night was somehow different. The images of the dream seemed more real, he could almost feel the dead weight of her arm as it fell limply to his side. And so he woke with urgency not present in the nights before.
He always found her this way, using her right arm as a pillow with her left one extended, her fingers almost dangling on the edge of the bed. Her face under the moonlight was burned into his memory as was the steady rhythm of her breathing. In the darkness, even without the moon, he could tell her apart from the blackness of the night. Every curve, every line.
Ranma traced her fingertips with his own, letting out a satisfied sigh when she slightly moved her hand. He shifted to rest his chin atop her bed, their faces inches apart. It was during those times that he conversed with her in his mind. Somehow he felt it was sort of a preparation for when she catches him one of those days holding her hand and staring at her like there's no tomorrow. But he found the following day that those imagined conversations held no place in their waking moments, what with meddling fathers and troublesome fiancées and his foot that constantly finds its way into his mouth. Actually, their families and classmates commented that they bicker more often than before. Suffice it to say, he still couldn't find it in him to talk about what he felt when she almost died, and about the failed wedding. Well, Akane didn't seem to want to talk about them either. Any attempt at a decent conversation about the said topics always turned out the wrong way.
The sun crept slowly above the horizon and Ranma prepared to leave. Just as he loosened his hold on her hand, he heared his name escape Akane's lips. It was just above a whisper, but it was there. It hung thick on his mind as they walk home from school that day.
"What's wrong?"
Akane's question snapped him out of his reverie.
"What?" was all he managed to say.
"Well, you're staring at me."
"N-no I'm not! Who would want to look at an uncute tomboy, anyways?"
"You're such a jerk!"
"Sexless macho chick!"
"That doesn't even make sense, dummy!"
"And me staring at you makes sense?"
"Well, you were! Idiot!"
She walked ahead of him as he looked on. It escaped him how he always managed to get her angry. If only she didn't get mad so easily… but then again he's so impossible at times. In his musings, he failed to notice that Akane took a left turn when she should have turned right.
"Why are you following me?"
"I'm not!"
"Are too!"
"Dummy, did you forget that I live in the same house as you? Hey… this is not the way home. 'kane, are you related to Ryoga or something?" With a laugh he added, "You can't cook, you're clumsy, built like a brick, now you have no sense of direction, too!"
For some strange reason, Ranma's chest tightened with every word he said.
It tightened even more when he saw the look on Akane's face. Well, there were no words to describe it, just that it broke his heart to see unshed tears that didn't even threaten to fall from her eyes. Like her ears were numb from the insults but they hurt her just the same.
And just like before, almost on instinct, Ranma took on a fighting stance and blurted much to his disgust, even with a grin plastered on his face…
"What? You wanna fight?"
Which of course was just a call for her to hit him. It always made him feel better if she hit him. But that was just what she didn't do. Instead, she walked away.
He followed her in silence. He gave himself a thousand mental punches for hurting her yet again. Why he so persistently tested her patience, he didn't exactly know… for one thing it made him see the fire in her eyes and the verve in her limbs. He figured that if he had to get her angry just to never see her fade away, he'd gladly do it-- even under the threat of the mallet.
But there are times she chose not to get physical about it… and those times worried him the most. He was no wordsmith… every time he spoke to try to make things better, well, things never go as planned as far as his mouth is concerned.
Akane abruptly stopped walking and angrily turned to him.
"Stop following me!"
"You think I like following you? If you get lost, Tendou jii-san will have my head!"
"I'm not a little girl, so go home and leave me alone!" Her fists trembled as she fixed her gaze on the ground.
"Geez! You are so uncute!"
He turned around and walked away in a huff. He would just have to follow her from a distance then.
"Ranma no baka… I can't believe I actually like you…"
And he just had to stop.
He looked at Akane. Her eyes wide as she covered her mouth with a dainty hand. She could not have said that aloud… but judging from Ranma's reaction, she just had.
Nothing could have prepared her for what happened next. In a flash Ranma's arms were around her in a tight embrace.
"Ranma…"
That was quite new… and not at all unpleasant. But if anybody sees them like that, then unpleasant would take on a whole new meaning.
Still, Ranma didn't seem to mind.
They stood that way for what seemed like an eternity. It puzzled Akane that the boy didn't even pause to confirm if what he'd heard was true. A blush crept down to his neck when they parted, and she could feel that she was not faring well in that department as well… but his eyes were fixed on her own even as she tried to turn away, and his lips were curved in a smile.
He looked at her as if in a trance. He saw a spark in her brown eyes, so much different from the blaze he sees when she's angry; all her blood seemed to have traveled up to her cheeks as she blushed intensely; her tiny hands clutched his shirt like there was no other place they were supposed to be; he felt her warmth against his body. She never looked more vibrant… and he never felt more alive.
He held her hand as they walked home. She couldn't get a word out of him for the rest of the day.
He realized something as he recalled the day's more interesting events. He'd never see Akane fade away… with his arms wrapped around her.
As he drifted off to sleep that night, the past month's dream seemed to pick up where it always left off.
He holds her closer and trembles in fear. Maybe he lost her…Kami, he couldn't have. He was holding too tight to have lost her. Tears stream down his face…how could she leave him all alone? It isn't fair… he should be the one to go… not her…
Then she lifts her small hand to caress his cheek.
And she says his name…
She smiles...
He knelt beside Akane's bed, staring at the sleeping girl yet again. Ignoring the blush he felt forming on his cheeks, he took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Echoing the words he heard himself say not too long ago…
"Akane… wake up… I have something to tell you…"
Author's Notes: This is my first Ranma ½ fanfic. If I owned Ranma and Akane… I would be the happiest girl in the world… but I don't, so boohoo. By the way, I borrowed the title and the summary from Coheed and Cambria's "Faint of Hearts."