Disclaimer: Don't own anything but the plot.
Author's Note: I actually planned it out. Really, I know how it ends and everything. Yeah, first time for everything.
It was a lazy, sunny day that dawned on this, the beginning of our story. Frodo woke up without knowing that this day would be any different than any other day in his life. He awoke in the same bed he had slept in for thirty years, he brushed his teeth in the same bathroom he had used all his life, and he ate breakfast at the same time and in the same manner as he had done since he was old enough to eat breakfast. There was nothing unusual about the day, no hint in the clouds that traveled across the Shire, no sign from the birds that sang in the trees, no indication whatsoever that today was anything special.
Except for the dead body in his living room.
"Ahhhhh!" Frodo screamed as he walked in and observed the corpse, "Oh, this really sucks! First I get this stupid evil ring which Gandalf takes like twenty years to figure out is evil, now some chick is dead in my living room."
Actually, no chick was dead in his living room as Frodo supposed. The dead body had once belonged to Legolas, son of Thranduil, Prince of the Elves of Northern Mirkwood. His long, shiny blonde hair often confused people.
"Okay, so it's not a chick," said Frodo exasperatedly, "it's still a dead body in my living room!"
"Yes," said Gandalf, "We must discover the murderer."
"What the hell are you doing here? Shouldn't you be finding out about my evil ring so we can destroy it before Sauron regains more power?"
Gandalf thought about this for a long time, and finally said, "Nope."
"Well," said Frodo, "who was in the house?"
"All of them." Gandalf pointed to Frodo's couch which was full of an odd assortment of people. A handsome Ranger, a stout dwarf, a tall elf, three hobbits, a son of the Steward of Gondor, and a beautiful woman were sitting and talking.
"Who are you?" asked Frodo to the woman, whose long raven hair and piercing green eyes had captivated his heart.
"My name," she began in a strange, ethereal voice, "is Raina Lithiliana Silvermoon. I am a High Elf from..." but where she was from, they never discovered. At that moment, Boromir threw her out the window, where she died when a freak goat stampede trampled her.
"Why did you do that?" asked Aragorn.
Boromir shrugged, "gratuitous-killing-of-a-Mary-Sue?"
"Riiiight," said Frodo, "so, do I know you people?"
"Here," said Gandalf, handing Frodo a book, "read this copy of `The Fellowship of the Ring for Dummies' to find out who these people are."
Ten minutes later, Frodo was done reading and asked, "so who's the elf?"
"I am Elrond," said the elf, "and NOT Agent Smith, we won't go there. It's been done. We all know I look like Agent Smith, OKAY!?!"
"Sheesh," said Frodo, "so who killed...." Frodo checked the book, "Orlando Bloom?"
"Dammit, that's the movie tie-in version. Never mind, look, this is Legolas. He's dead. Somebody here..." he paused dramatically, "murdered him!" Lightning flashed behind the window, thunder clapped, and the lights went suddenly out. However, as it was morning, nobody cared.
"To discover the murderer, we must learn how everybody here knew Legolas and determine who had the motive and opportunity to kill him."
"We shall start with his best friend, Gimli." Said Gandalf.
"I didn't kill Legolas," said Gimli, "he was my best friend, and only people who have read the books will understand that!"
"Calm down," said Gandalf, "I'm not accusing you. I simply want to know where you were last night when the murder took place..."
To Be Continued
Next Chapter (maybe)...Gimli's Story
Review!
Author's Note: I actually planned it out. Really, I know how it ends and everything. Yeah, first time for everything.
It was a lazy, sunny day that dawned on this, the beginning of our story. Frodo woke up without knowing that this day would be any different than any other day in his life. He awoke in the same bed he had slept in for thirty years, he brushed his teeth in the same bathroom he had used all his life, and he ate breakfast at the same time and in the same manner as he had done since he was old enough to eat breakfast. There was nothing unusual about the day, no hint in the clouds that traveled across the Shire, no sign from the birds that sang in the trees, no indication whatsoever that today was anything special.
Except for the dead body in his living room.
"Ahhhhh!" Frodo screamed as he walked in and observed the corpse, "Oh, this really sucks! First I get this stupid evil ring which Gandalf takes like twenty years to figure out is evil, now some chick is dead in my living room."
Actually, no chick was dead in his living room as Frodo supposed. The dead body had once belonged to Legolas, son of Thranduil, Prince of the Elves of Northern Mirkwood. His long, shiny blonde hair often confused people.
"Okay, so it's not a chick," said Frodo exasperatedly, "it's still a dead body in my living room!"
"Yes," said Gandalf, "We must discover the murderer."
"What the hell are you doing here? Shouldn't you be finding out about my evil ring so we can destroy it before Sauron regains more power?"
Gandalf thought about this for a long time, and finally said, "Nope."
"Well," said Frodo, "who was in the house?"
"All of them." Gandalf pointed to Frodo's couch which was full of an odd assortment of people. A handsome Ranger, a stout dwarf, a tall elf, three hobbits, a son of the Steward of Gondor, and a beautiful woman were sitting and talking.
"Who are you?" asked Frodo to the woman, whose long raven hair and piercing green eyes had captivated his heart.
"My name," she began in a strange, ethereal voice, "is Raina Lithiliana Silvermoon. I am a High Elf from..." but where she was from, they never discovered. At that moment, Boromir threw her out the window, where she died when a freak goat stampede trampled her.
"Why did you do that?" asked Aragorn.
Boromir shrugged, "gratuitous-killing-of-a-Mary-Sue?"
"Riiiight," said Frodo, "so, do I know you people?"
"Here," said Gandalf, handing Frodo a book, "read this copy of `The Fellowship of the Ring for Dummies' to find out who these people are."
Ten minutes later, Frodo was done reading and asked, "so who's the elf?"
"I am Elrond," said the elf, "and NOT Agent Smith, we won't go there. It's been done. We all know I look like Agent Smith, OKAY!?!"
"Sheesh," said Frodo, "so who killed...." Frodo checked the book, "Orlando Bloom?"
"Dammit, that's the movie tie-in version. Never mind, look, this is Legolas. He's dead. Somebody here..." he paused dramatically, "murdered him!" Lightning flashed behind the window, thunder clapped, and the lights went suddenly out. However, as it was morning, nobody cared.
"To discover the murderer, we must learn how everybody here knew Legolas and determine who had the motive and opportunity to kill him."
"We shall start with his best friend, Gimli." Said Gandalf.
"I didn't kill Legolas," said Gimli, "he was my best friend, and only people who have read the books will understand that!"
"Calm down," said Gandalf, "I'm not accusing you. I simply want to know where you were last night when the murder took place..."
To Be Continued
Next Chapter (maybe)...Gimli's Story
Review!