Dear Sora,
...Where. The Hell. ARE YOU?
Lots of love, Kairi
(Sora's imaginary response)
Hey Kairi,
How's life?
Anyway...Hahaha, well I'm kinda busy you see because I need to save the world because I'm the Keyblade master and...yeah...
But there's always Riku!
Stay strong! Donald, Goofy, and I believe in you! Believe in the power of the friendship and in your light!
See you soon, Sora
Dear Riku,
I know you're out there, so don't try to pretend that you aren't.
So, after you stop wasting your time disappearing from people's lives, think you can break into a high-security prison and help me out?
Your best friend, Kairi
(Riku's imaginary response)
...I'm sorry. I can't.
Ask Sora.
Dear Tidus,
You're a guy, right? You know a lot about guy's behavior, right?
So what do you suppose it means when the guy who has captured you to anger your somehow-non-existent-to-everyone-but-you best friend asks you to play gold fish? Does a guy often use gold fish as a torture technique? Is there something I don't know about card games and guys?
If you don't answer, I'll tell Wakka it really was you who sabotaged his love letter to Selphie.
Answer soon, Kairi
(Tidus' imaginary reponse)
Yo Kairi! Where've ya been? The island's been lonely!
Hehe, so you sought out my mad guy advice, eh? Well...If I guy asks you to play with him...well, he's either jealous of you and is wanting to try to best you in some sport or game that he's good at, he likes you, or he's not a real guy.
You can't tell him! You can't! You can't! I'll do anything!
Hey Selphie,
You know about guys, right? After all, you did stalk that person...what was his name? Laguna?
So...tell me, how do you seduce a guy? Perhaps maybe convince him to give you something? Or even better, a key to the cell that he's locked you in cause he's annoying, egotistic, moody as a girl (he has the hips of one too), chauvinistic, a pyromaniac, mad, crazy, and has a one-track mind?
Hugs and Kisses, Kairi
(Selphie's Imaginary Response)
Kairi, you silly goose!
Duh, you show off how the real Kairi is! Show him that sexy side of yours, you know? After all, remember how you even got Riku chasing after you? Don't worry, you'll be fine. You just don't realize how pretty you are. (Especially in that black dress of yours. Think I can borrow it sometime?)
By the way, Laguna was sooo last year. It's Rufus, you idiot!
Miss you, Selphie
Dear Wakka,
Still on the sports team? Have you made captain yet?
So, let's say you find yourself in the company of a girl (for this instance, let's choose Selphie) and she acts all nice to you, all sweet and kind. How do you react? Do you get mad and pissed off and yell at her and tell her that she's a stupid girl?
Waiting for your response, Kairi
(Wakka's imaginary response)
Kairi? You're writing to me? Why?
Well...not to brag or anything...but the captain said that he was considering me as his successor! Am I good or what?
Anyway, about your problem...well...err...
Ask Tidus. He's better at this stuff then I am.
But I'm still here if you need to talk or anything!
Wakka
Hey Yuffie,
Remember me, Kairi? That girl who used to live in Hollow Bastion? Well...
Think you could give me some advice for some revenge?
Kairi
(Yuffie's imaginary response)
Kairi! I think I remember you!
Well...it depends on what kind of revenge. See, like when I take revenge on Squall aka Leon, I go all out. A favorite of mine: Chopping his hair off. (It usually never works if I try to cut his hair to somewhere above his shoulders, but even if it isn't much, he still gets pissed...)
But then there's cases like Aerith. Aerith, who you don't want to hurt, but you still want to get revenge for all the times she's made you stay in bed because you were "sick", or wouldn't let you go out at night to "protect you", or the times she's manipulated you into working because she's "oh so busy"...
So...for that case...You do an innocent prank. For example, I once had my army of moogles attack/give Aerith with roses. (It's crueler than it sounds. Seriously.) She was so flustered cause she didn't know where to put them or how to thank them all. And what's better about these pranks is that they kinda make you feel good cause you did something sweet, but you still feel like you've gotten your revenge. (Tell anyone of this and I'll have my moogle army attack you.)
All in all, I hope your revenge works out. And remember, the best piece of advice that was ever said: RUN LIKE THE WIND!
Love, Yuffie
Dear Aerith,
Don't mind that I barely know you. I'm just looking for some advice from a motherly figure, you know? Anyway...when...well...Let's say there's a guy. He seems dumb and annoying,...but then, something happens and you realize he isn't so bad?
I mean, COME ON! Choose a personality and stick to it so it doesn't make people around you confused!
Err...right. I'm sorry. This probably sounds kind of stupid to you doesn't it.
Kairi
(Aerith's Imaginary Response)
Dear Kairi,
I won't ask you how you are because obviously you are troubled a bit. And no, it isn't stupid at all.
But you should know, that all people aren't what they seem. Everyone's human. They all have flaws, but they also have good points about their personality too, you know? It's a balance.
I hope my advice is helpful to you. You know I'm always here to talk, right?
Love, Aerith
Dear Grandmother,
Yeah...It's weird writing to you. I mean...well...
...Yeah.
How are you? Are you okay? Are you eating properly? Remember, don't forget that you need at least five fruits a day, okay?
...Well...
Truthfully, I had some stuff that I wanted advice for...but...
Nevermind.
Dear Kairi,
Yes, I am writing to myself. (If I'm mad and bored enough to write imaginary response letters, than I can write to myself, doncha think? It'll be like a diary. Right. Just keep thinking that...)
Well...Do you remember that time when you were crying about Grandmother? And...how he had come in at that time?
And...do you remember how he had disappeared as soon as he saw you? Remember how pissed off you were?
Remember how surprised you were when he came back? (Remember how you almost were considering attacking him despite the fact that you couldn't?)
Remember how surprised you were when you saw him with sea-salt ice cream?
Remember how grudgingly happy you were when you accepted the ice cream?
Remember how you ate together with him?
Remember?
His name's Axel. Got it memorized?
Kairi
AN: Thus proving that I can't write Kaixel for my life. But I can't resist contests...-prays to the sky, hoping that my grammar and spelling is finally decent, for once, after proof-reading a couple times-