(A/n: I hope you enjoy this fic, and I'd really like to see lots of reviews! Please! thanks)
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. J.K. Rowling, however, does. : ) p
The Present and Past - Chapter One
"I told you this was a bad idea, Sirius!" Remus Lupin hissed over their patient. p
Remus and Sirius had taken Madam Pomfrey's place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and though they were both in their forties, they still had the same youthful enthusiasm as ever, and it was a constant battle between them and another group of professors that rivaled their pranks and tricks. Only, this group was a trio: Harry Potter, youngest headmaster Hogwarts had ever seen -- just had his twentieth birthday; Hermione Granger, professor of Transfiguration; and Ron Weasley, professor of Charms (who knows how...) p
"What! He doesn't look that bad!" Sirius cried, gesturing to the Hufflepuff boy laying unconscious below him. p
"Doesn't look that bad! He's missing one eye -- eyelid included, and your telling me --." p
"Moony, Moony, this can be solved," Sirius tried to give a reassuring grin but it only made Remus more suspicious of his intentions, "We'll just get him one of those nice little black eye patches, maybe we can even rummage up the color of his house. Don't you think -- ." p
"An eye patch! That's your solution!" p
"Well, I --." p
"I'll give you an eye patch!" Remus cried, jerking his wand from his pocket, "Diffey can have YOUR right eye!" p
"Now, now, Moony," Sirius gently pulled Remus's wand away from his eye and commenced pacing back and forth. He always came up with his brilliant ideas when pacing.... p
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Flashback: Marauder school day -- fourth year
"Sirius, if you don't stop pacing I'm going to put the Jelly-Legs Curse on you," James said calmly, not looking up from his quidditch magazine. p
"I've got it!" Sirius yelled, making jolly circles around his four poster. p
"Oh, great," James moaned, "I'll call in the troups," James pulled himself off his bed and stuck his head out the door, "REMUS! PETER! GET YOUR WIZARD SELVES UP HERE!!! SIRIUS HAS AN IDEA!" p
Remus and Peter, who had been chatting with friends in the common room, suddenly found themselves standing alone in the middle of the room, their hats askew because two hundred people had just made a mad run for the portrait hole. Sighing, they made the ascent up to the boys' dormitory. p
"Have they evacuated?" Sirius asked, still pacing like a mad man. p
"Yes, everyone's gone -- as usual," Peter said. p
"Good! Then we can use the common room!" Sirius clapped his hands. p
But when they were going down the stairs, another idea hit Sirius, "There might some girls left in their dormitories. We don't need them coming down. James, think you could get rid of them?" Sirius asked, pacing on the bottom step. p
"Sure! Do we still have that boggart under Peter's bed?" James asked. p
"Under my bed!" Peter squeaked, "No wonder I've been having nightmares!" p
Remus and Peter glared at Sirius and James, "Why'd you put it under Peter's bed?" Remus demanded. p
"Well, we wanted to keep it happy, and Peter's just scared of so many things --." p
"Nevermind," Remus cut James off, "Go get rid of the girls. We'll hide under the staircase until they're gone." p
Five minutes later there was a terrible shriek from the girls' dormitory just as James was making his way back down the steps. He slipped under the stairs where Sirius, Remus, and Peter were waiting. p
"Who was in there?" Sirius asked, a glint in his evil little eye. p
"Lily what's-her-name and one of her friends," James said, plopping down by Remus. p
"So, what'd it change into?" Remus asked, curiously. p
"I don't know. I didn't stick around for that!" James snapped. p
The four made themselves comfortable and waited for the girls to come down while Sirius gave a running commentary, "Sounds like a troll," he declared just as there was a loud bang from upstairs. p
James snorted at this, then said in a fake, deep voice, "Lily Eden was attacked at precisely nine p.m. Tuesday night by a troll in her dormitory. She and her friend both died of the horrible smell." p
Remus suddenly got a very grave expression on his face, "Maybe we should go help them." p
"Nope," Sirius said, "They're big fourth years -- they'll take care of themselves." p
"Yeah," James agreed, "Come on, only an idiot of a guy would risk his life to save some girl from a troll - besides it's just a boggart." p
A couple of minutes later there was a rumbling on the stairs above them and a dressing table smashed at the foot of the stairs, sending splinters under the stairs where the boys were hiding. Sirius, who had idly twirling his wand, removed a chip of wood from Peter's hair and surveyed it, "Hmm...pine. We've got maple in our dormitory -- ." p
"AHHHHHH!!!! JESSICA RUN!!! GO!!!" p
"And the race is on!" Sirius cheered, just barely poking his head around the stairs. p
Remus furrowed his brow, and leaned in to whisper to James, "Sometimes he makes one wonder about his mental stability." p
"There is no stability - he's insane, but that's expected with Sirius," James replied. p
A girl with long auburn hair, practically flew down the stairs, a brunette closing following her. They were both screaming something that sounded like, "PROFESSOR!!! THERE'S A TROLL IN THE DORMITORIES!!!!" p
After they had left the portrait hole, Sirius leapt out of from under the stairs, "Okay, let's get cracking -- do you smell that?" p
James was the next to stand up, then Remus and Peter, "Yeah..." p
Remus and Peter exchanged looks, "Sirius, you didn't happen to come up with a way to get rid of the troll, by any chance?" p
Sirius bit his bottom lip, "Now, that might be a little problem -- ." p
"SIRIUS!!!!!" p
End of flashback
_________________________________
Sirius sat down at the end of Diffey's hospital bed. Okay, maybe he didn't come up with his best ideas when pacing.... p
"Hey, Sirius, Remus!" Harry Potter walked into the infirmary quite cheerful, "How's it going with Diff -- how come the kid's only got one eye?" he ended on a dark note. p
Remus sent a meaningful look at Sirius. p
"That would be the mutt's fault," Remus explained, jerking his head in Sirius's direction. p
"Sirius," Harry began, "we've had this talk before. Now you know that it's customary to dismiss the patient with all their same body parts when they leave the infirmary," Harry grinned. p
"Yeah, well...it's a small, insignificant body part -- ." p
"IT'S HIS EYE, SIRIUS! HIS EYE!" Remus yelled, picking up the nearest bedpan to throw at Sirius. p
"Hey! I haven't cleaned those yet!" Sirius cried, dodging it. p
Hermione chose that moment to enter the room.... p
"Ah! Harry get this thing off me!" she screamed from under the plastic container. p
"Ooops," Remus whistled under his breath. p
"Why didn't you clean them, Sirius?" Harry mouthed, carefully lifting it off of Hermione's head. p
"I thought they were disposable," Sirius mouthed in return. p
Remus collapsed in a heap of hopelessness on an empty bed, pulling at his hair, mumbling something about "Crazy man is going to make me go bald." p
"You better be glad I know a sterilization charm, Sirius Black!" Hermione gasped, snatching her wand from her cloak pocket. p
Hermione muttered something, then turned to Harry, who had been enjoying the 'show' from against the wall, "Professor Potter, we have a problem with one of the students," Hermione said, pompously. p
"I wish you wouldn't call me Professor Potter," Harry moaned. p
"It's your professional name, Professor Potter, and I just want to be professional. After all, quote Hogwarts a History -- ." p
"Ah, Herm, stop," Harry held up a hand, "What's the problem?" p
"A student..uh...Mister Longbottom, in Professor Weasley's class is causing a disturbance, and Professor Weasley isn't attempting to calm him down because he's lazy git that never -- ." p
"Herm!" Harry laughed, "I'm sure that Ron's in perfect control of his class. Besides, Neville's kid isn't a behavioral problem. He's just like his dad." p
"I'll go check on it, Harry," Sirius offered, "Besides, Remus has to have peace and quiet so he can figure out the mistake he made with this Diffey kid -- ." p
"My mistake!" Remus jumped off the bed and made a dive for Sirius. p
"You know, Sirius, that might be a good idea," Harry interjected, stepping between the two men, "Go check on Nev -- I mean, Samuel." p
Sirius left, looking quite smug with himself. p
"You're just picking favorites, Harry," Remus huffed, "After all, he's your godfather."p
Harry smiled, "No, Remus, I'm just trying to get rid of him because I'm sure that any one of the books in your office will tell you how to cure Diffey, and Sirius isn't one for research. But I'm sure that you'll do just fine on your own -- better, in fact." p
"Harry!" Hermione reprimanded. p
"It's a fact, Herm. It's a fact. Anyway, don't you have a class right now?" Harry asked, wrapping a guiding arm around Hermione's shoulder, leading her out of the hospital wing. p
"No, it's my free period." p
"Well, then you can come see me argue with Snape," Harry said, "He deducted five hundred points from the Gryffindors this morning, and I'm not going to let him get away with it." p
"Why'd he deduct that many?" Hermione asked, curiously, resting her head on the edge of Harry's shoulder. She had been up all night preparing for her lesson, and she was quite tired. p
"Oh, somebody brought up that 'little' thing that we did to Snape in sixth year," Harry laughed, "You know, I remember it vividly..." p
______________________________
Harry/Hermione/Ron's sixth year p.
"Harry! Come on, now! We're going to be late for potions!" Hermione yelled up the boys' dormitory steps. p
"I'm coming, I'm coming," Harry grumbled, slowly making his way down the stairs, "Where's Ron?" he asked, noticing that Ron wasn't in the common room. p
"He's already left," Hermione snapped, "Just like I should have! You know, Snape's going to have our heads! He's going to kill us and -- ." p
"Hermione! That's it!" Harry stopped abruptly right before he reached the portrait hole. p
"That's what?" Hermione asked, as she tried in vain to push Harry out the hole. p
"This is good! This is good!" Harry exclaimed, "No time for potions!" and with that he pulled her out the portrait hole and headed off to the library. p
Ten minutes later... p
"Harry," Hermione sighed, "It's not like I don't adore the library, but we should be in potions -- remember, our class?" p
Harry nodded to show that he knew she was talking, even if he had no clue what she said. p
"What are you looking for anyway! You've been reading that same page for five minutes! Honestly, how did you make it out of primary school if you can't read any faster that -- ." p
"I've got an idea on how to get Snape back for all those evil things he's ever done," Harry whispered mysteriously, slamming the book. p
"I'm listening..." p
Harry leaned in to whisper his "plan". p
"Okay, is everything set?" Hermione asked Harry and Ron. p
They were standing outside of Snape's bed chamber (which Harry had discovered with some help from Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs -- not to mention their little map) at one in the morning. Harry and Ron were crammed under the invisibility cloak, and Hermione was hiding behind a suit of armor. p
"I can't believe you, the Prefect of all Prefects, is giving into this," Ron stated. p
"Don't make me change my mind." p
"Right." p
"Anyway, Harry -- you know the spell right?" Hermione continued her interrogation. p
"Yeah." p
"And Ron, you know the rest of the plan, correct?" p
"Yup." p
"Let's go!" p
Severus Snape had been having pleasant dreams of the glory days when he practically ruled Slytherin House (that was back when he was a student, by the way...now he couldn't get the little prats to shut-up for all the gold in Gringotts), but he heard a thumping noise in his room and was aroused. p.
"Who is it?" he croaked, looking around the room, debating on whether to get his wand out or not. p
His eyes finally managed to adjust to the darkness, and he found himself face to face with Potter's head, Granger's head, and Weasley's head all floating in mid air a foot from his face. p
"Ahhh!" Severus fell back against the headboard, and scrambled to untangle himself from the sheets and get out of the bed. p
He found that he was rooted to the spot, and couldn't move. He screamed for help until his head throbbed and pools of black swam before his eyes, "HEADMASTER!!! DUMBLEDORE!!! POTTER -- THIS IS THE END OF YOU!" he yelled to Harry's head. p
Harry's head just smiled back in a friendly manner, as did Granger's and Weasley's. p
"Please, please, Professor -- go back to sleep, get some rest," Granger's head said gently. p
Granger was being nice to him...Potter was smiling at him...Weasley was winking at him. Fear brewed inside him, and he was torn between that and anger. p
"Professor, you know, you really should lay back down," Potter's head said, worriedly. p
Professor Snape fumbled for his wand and managed to magnify his voice, "HEADMASTER!!!" p
The heads kept saying friendly things to him. What was going on! But Severus didn't know that the three culprits were safely tucked under the invisibility cloak in the corner of his room, mouthing words into their wand tips. p
"HEADMASTER!!!" p
Dumbledore flew down the stairs and slammed open the door, "WHAT'S WRONG, SEVERUS! THE WHOLE SCHOOL IS AWAKE!" p
"It's Potter...and Weasley...and -- ." p
"What about them?" Dumbledore asked, breathless from his run. p
"DON'T YOU SEE THEIR HEADS?!" Severus motioned wildly to the clear and headless air in front of him -- or at least it was clear and headless to all those except Severus himself. p
"Severus, are you sick? Because I assure you Mr. Potter, Miss Granger, and Mr. Weasley's heads are not in front of you! They are attached to their bodies I'd hope!" p
"THEY'RE THERE! I SEE THEM! THEY'RE TALKING TO ME!" p
Harry, Hermione, and Ron had a great urge to roll on the floor laughing hysterically but managed to keep themselves under control. p
"Get out of the bed, Severus. Go get a glass of water or something -- ." p
"I CAN'T GET OUT OF BED! THE HEADS WON'T LET ME!" Severus roared. p
"You might want to take that voice-volume charm off, Severus. The entire castle can still hear you -- ." p
"THEY CAN, CAN THEY? POTTER, GRANGER, WEASLEY -- YOU'RE GOING TO PAY!!!" p
"Now, really! Get out of that bed!" p
"Fine, but you'll see that I can't!" Severus snapped, swinging one leg over the mattress, and falling out onto the stone floor. p
"You seem to be able to move just fine. A little off balance perhaps -- ." p
"THEY'RE STILL THERE!" p
And indeed Harry and Hermione had directed their heads to make circles around Severus's head, "Greasy hair, greasy hair," they chanted. p
"NOOOOOO! MAKE IT STOP!" p
"We're getting you to Madam Pomfrey right now, Severus," Dumbledore said, conjuring a stretcher and guiding a screaming and kicking Professor Snape out of the room. p
Harry, Hermione, and Ron celebrated with several victory dances after the "insane" professor had been carried away. p
End of flashback p
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"Potter, I refuse to give them back their points!" Snape huffed, crossing his arms, and turning around in his chair. p
"That's Headmaster to you, Snape!" Harry fumed, pulling out his wand threateningly. p
"Harry...."Hermione gripped Harry's arm to keep him under control. p
"You may deduct fifteen points and that is all," Harry said in a deadly manner. p
Snape said nothing, but marched out of the teacher lounge, slamming the door shut behind him. p
"Riddance to him," Harry breathed, settling back in a chair. p
Hermione and Harry sat in silence for a moment, until they heard a slight scraping noise coming from behind an armchair in the corner. Harry held a finger to his mouth to keep Hermione silent, then made his way over to the corner. Ever so slowly he pulled the chair back to reveal -- p
"George Weasley!" p
"Hey, Harry!" George threw Harry a charming smile, then bowed to kiss Hermione's hand. p
"What are you doing hiding in my teacher's lounge," Harry looked down and over the rim of his glasses. p
"Um...may I introduce you to my associate Fred Weasley -- ." p
"Yeah, yeah. I know who your partner is, but what are the two of you doing here?" Harry ran a hand through his hair. p
Fred Weasley then appeared from behind a panel of wood that had been covered by the chair. p
"Did you just come out of the wall?" Hermione asked, going over to inspect the place. p
"No, it's the only tunnel to Hogsmeade that we didn't find while at school," George stated, "And I've got a business opportunity for you, Harry ol' chap!" p
"Why don't I like the sound of this?" Harry groaned, making himself comfortable in the arm chair. p
"Now, my idea -- Fred?" George turned to Fred, then raised his eyebrows and mouthed something. p
"Oh the graph!" Fred exclaimed, "Yes, here it is!" Fred produced a miniature note pad from his pocket and magically increased its size until it fit nicely on the easel propped up against the wall of the lounge. p
"Okay, Harry. The way I figure it, you could increase your popularity by fifty percent if you'd allow us to sell Dungbombs and other such items in Hogwarts. Now, we could do all of this very discreetly. Perhaps in the basement -- ." p
"Harry's popular enough, thank you!" Hermione called from within the wall, where she was climbing along the passage, "Hey, Harry! You might want to come take a look at this!" p
Harry shrugged at George and Fred's curious looks, then crawled into the wall as well.
Once inside the tunnel, he could see what Hermione was going on about. There was intricate gold writing on the stone walls of the tunnel, in some language that Harry vaguely recognized. p
"What do you make of it, Professor Potter -- Harry?" Hermione asked, running her forefinger over the small designs and letters. p
"I don't know, but I have the feeling I need to find out...." p
(A/n: Well? What did you think? Any suggestions? Reviews?)