Is it true
Kate was standing in the door way leading to their bedroom leaning against the door frame, staring at her husband sleeping.
Kate was also grinning wide as she remembered all those times when she had told him that his staring at her was creepy, and yet here she was doing it now. And it felt so very good to be watching him.
Kate could feel her heart soaring while she watched. This amazing wonderful man had put up with so much from her over the years. She had hurled insults at him, that she wished with all her heart that she could take back now.
All the times that she had pushed him away from her heart, only to have him come back the next day like nothing had happened. Yanked on her pigtails and wormed his way past all her walls and into her heart.
A heart so broken and shattered that she was sure only her walls were keeping it held together, only to find that he not only fixed it, repaired it, made it whole again. He had also filled it to overflowing with love. So much love that it was breaking all over again as she felt a tear run down her face.
She loved him with everything she had.
She had hurt him with Sorenson a little and really had saved her life from making a mistake with him, even if he had opened an old wound by looking in her mother's case.
Then she had flaunted Demming in his face. He had gotten a toe hold past most of her walls and she was just about to let him in further, when his ex-wife had shown up.
The pain of that summer without him had hurt so very much. It had also been a summer of rebuilding her walls and reinforcing them. And yet the second she had seen him a lot of those walls that she had spent the summer so painstakingly building fell in an instant.
So there was just one thing left to do to keep him out. Find another man, a better man than Demming was and parade him in from of him. And yet all that did was make her heart hurt even more.
Three months in isolation to heal her wounds, both physical and mental. He had told her that he loved her. She had remembered every word and she had fought so hard to stay awake lying in the grass with his arms holding her. Hearing his soul talking to hers, begging her not to leave him.
And what did she do to with his love? She lied to him, and waited and silently wished he would wait with her. She was getting there little by little. How she wanted it to be faster. He was in past her walls and all she had to do was get out from behind her walls.
He walls weren't keeping her heart in one piece anymore, they had become a prison. A prison of her own making. He had been scratching and clawing to get past her walls and now she was scratching and clawing at them to get out. They had taken on a life of their own, and she no longer had control over them.
Please wait for me Castle, please wait.
And then that stupid fight over her mothers case. He was right but that didn't matter, she was too far down that damn rabbit hole and she was close, she knew she was close.
And then the walls that she had been clawing and scratching at were gone and he was in, so very far in.
That first night of making love to him was nothing like all the other men she had ever been with. All those times thinking sex was just sex and it would lead to something more. Now she had the more and then the sex and it had been so very perfect.
He was like a drug, or that Lay's potato chip commercial. You couldn't have just one. They were soon creating new and interesting ways to be close to each other, express what her heart was now feeling. The intoxication of having him near. Sleeping next to him. Resting her head on his chest and listen to his heart beating.
The times when he was just sitting there in his chair watching her do paperwork when all she really wanted to do was wipe that smirk off his face by letting him bend her over the break room table and take her till she screamed his name.
How many times had she gotten up with the pretense of needing something only to run into the womens restroom to clean herself and try and dry out her panties. God what this man was doing to her.
She was sure she had screwed it all up just like she knew she would. Why had she even listened to Stark in the first place. She did want that job, she really did. Just that her idea of what the job was and what it really was were two different things.
She wanted her partner back and she wanted to keep her job with the AG, and this wonderful amazing man had shown her a key to an apartment that he had gotten for them. Something bigger and better than that little place she had found, that she couldn't even get herself to fully move into, so everything stayed in boxes.
Planning their wedding, falling in love with him even more. Only to find out that she had screwed everything up long ago while still in college. And what did this wonderful man do? Did he dump her like any other man would have? Did he yell and scream about how stupid she had been?
No, he fights right along side her to fix her own mistake. The man of her dreams was actually helping her, fighting for her. Looking down the barrel of a gun from first a mobster and then some stupid gang members who happened to have guns.
His leaving her at the alter had hurt so very much, especially after two long horrible months. Taking off every vacation day she had to try and find him. Chase down every lead she had no matter how small. Call half the phones in the United States in an attempt to find him.
And now she's married to him and loves him even more. She wanted so very much to be married to him and stay married to him till they both died of old age. They were even talking about children. Kate had never seen herself having children. Her mother was dead and that had taken up her entire life. Now she was thinking about starting her own family.
Listening to Alexis talk about her being pregnant and Alexis being pregnant and having their children grow up together, had filled her with joy and had her shaking in fear.
She had waited for so long to even think about children and Castle was even older that she was. Just how old was Castle going to be when their first child was in high school?
Kate was still standing there looking down on her husband as he slept and moved her hand down to her stomach. Was she already pregnant? One of the reasons her husband was still asleep was because she had worn him out last night.
Her yoga routine had kept her in excellent shape during the years and they had tried several positions last night that they hadn't done for a while now. It had been a magical night and she could still feel where he had been inside her, keeping up with her the entire time.
Her days as a cop had woken her up and gotten her into the kitchen to find a snack to eat. All that exercise had made her hungry. Was that really why she was hungry though, or was she eating for two now and just didn't know it.
All she knew was that she loved him and would never have solved her mothers case without him. Bracken was going to rot in prison for the rest of his life, right where she wanted him. She had even gone to her mothers grave to give her the news that the man who had killed her, was paying for his crime.
She debated with herself if she should wake her husband buy sneaking up on him and interest him in round 4, or was it round 5? Oh who cared, she was never going to want to stop wanting him, all of him. Be it his hands, his lips, or his words, or his, …. The white whale had proven to be true and he was the perfect fit for her. Unlike any other man she had ever been with.
All that wasted time when she could have been this happy years ago, if only she hadn't been so damn stupid.
She decided against it and let him sleep, she could wait until tonight after they celebrated their first anniversary. She just knew he had something big planned. It was who he was and she loved that about him.
She turned to go back to the kitchen and slammed her shoe less toe into the leg of his desk? Chair? Something. All she knew was that it hurt like hell and was probably bleeding.
It got her to reach for her foot while hopping up and down on her good foot cursing up a storm, and then she twisted her ankle and fell to the floor hitting her head on the table.
Kate shot up out of her bed cursing up a storm and reached for her foot that was in serious pain.
Kate looked at her foot, and searched her big toe and pulled her hand back. She was bleeding, and it hurt like hell. Then she looked around. This wasn't her bedroom and where was Castle? Kate started searching the sheets looking for him even though she knew this was stupid since he obviously wasn't there.
"CASTLE!" Kate called out, thinking maybe he was in the other room.
Kate limped her way to the living room and saw the clothes she was wearing. Why was she in these clothes? She hadn't warn these clothes in years.
Stepping out into her living room only caused more trouble. This wasn't the loft! Where the hell was she? "Castle!?"
Her sofa, her kitchen, her giant picture hanging on the wall. It was her apartment, her first apartment, the one that was blown up apartment. The apartment that Castle had come crashing into to try and rescue her and ended up living in his loft while she looked for another one.
It was a time when she already knew she was in love with Castle, but was still running from him, from them.
Kate raced back into her bedroom but didn't stop until she reached the bathroom limping the entire way since her foot was still on fire.
Looking into the mirror was a young woman that she hadn't seen in years, and her mouth was hanging open wide while her fingers explored her face. The she ran her fingers through her hair. Her incredibly short and reddish colored hair.
Kate stripped her top off and looked at herself. Her boobs were firm again, not that they were sagging, just that they were firm again.
"What the hell is going on?" Kate heard her voice and watched her mouth move in the mirror.
"Castle!?" Kate could felt empty without waking up next to him and her hand shot down to her stomach searching for a bulge that hadn't been there yet even then.
"Castle!?" It was her old apartment. Was this Castle's doing? Had he done all this for her for their anniversary.
That got Kate to lift up her hand and found her ring finger empty. "He took my rings!" Kate knew she was going to kill him this time. He had gone too far this time. She was married damn it, she had wasted to much time to get here, to let him play games like this.
Kate was dressed in a heartbeat in clothes that she hadn't worn in years. Even her closet that had her clothes in them didn't have all of her shoes in them.
She had gone to a lot of trouble for Castle's birthday and had been scared to death that he was going to take it wrong. She hadn't even known she wasn't breathing until Castle had yelled that this was the best birthday present he had ever had.
Was this him getting back at her? How had he found an apartment that looked just like her old one? And how had her made her look younger and change her hair? And where did he find all this old furniture that looked just like her old stuff?
Kate jumped out of the taxi and raced inside past the desk sergeant downstairs and took the elevator up to the fourth floor. She had pounded on the button to call it countless times and had pushed the button for the fourth floor in rapid fire over and over again, until the doors finally closed.
She had even paced the elevator going around and around like a caged tiger, which was fitting since that was what she felt like.
Kate raced to her desk, and found Espo and Ryan at their desks.
"Beckett? … I thought you had the day off today?" Espo points out while both of them look at her.
"Espo, Ryan?" Kate stared at them. They were young looking too. This got Kate to turn her head and look into the office expecting cast iron pants Gates to be in there. Instead she sees Roy sitting at his desk working on paperwork.
Montgomery was like a magnet and it had her walking slowing right for him.
"Beckett, I wouldn't go in there." Espo warns her, remembering why Kate had the day off.
"Sir?" Kate was in his office looking at him, like she hadn't seen him in a really long time.
"Beckett, what are you doing here? Was I not clear enough yesterday when I told you that if you showed up today that I would have uniforms tie you to your bed so that you couldn't leave it and get some rest." Roy points out.
"Yes sir, I mean no sir." Kate remembered those exact words all those years ago.
"Just tell me that you didn't drag Castle in here with you." Roy asks of her.
"No sir. … I, …. I remembered that I left something at my desk." Kate tried to think fast.
"Well get it and get out of here, and make sure Castle stays out with you. You two have been here too long together already. You both need a day off. Now get out of my office or I really will have you tied to your bed." Roy warns her.
"Yes sir." Kate left his office and headed for her desk, to complete her lie.
"You should go home Beckett, before captain Montgomery has you skinned alive." Espo warns her.
Kate was standing at her desk when she saw the elephants at her desk. The elephants with the tape inside it implicating Senator Bracken in her mother's murder along with other offenses.
"Castle!" Kate could almost feel the pull on her body, beckoning her home. Her real home. Was the tape in here? And if it was how was that even possible? "Castle."
"Castle was told to take the day off too Beckett." Espo reminds her looking at her like she had lost her mind.
"Can you two come to Castle's loft when you get off tonight? And bring Lanie with you." Kate asks of them.
"Sure Beckett. Maybe Castle will let us use his video game or a few rounds of poker." Espo offers, still looking at Kate funny.
"You ok Beckett?" Ryan finally speaks up.
"I'm fine, …. almost perfect even. Just come over to the loft after work guys." Kate strides for the elevator.
Kate climbs out of the taxi after paying the driver with her elephants in hand and looked up at the building that had her husband inside it. Her husband who wasn't yet her husband, but was in her mind.
Her step daughter whom she also loved was in there. Her step daughter who had started giving her good morning kisses must a few months ago. Her family was up there. The man who had healed her heart, helped her solve her mothers murder was up there.
His mother that was her step-mother and yet more than that to her after losing her own mother.
Kate wanted her rings back, she wanted her husband back, she wanted her family back. Did he already love her at this point? She loved him with all her heart.
Had Alexis been kidnapped yet? Likely not. Could she prevent it? She knew who 3XK was, could they find him and put him away? She knew who Vulcan Simmons was and how he fit into this picture.
Was all of this and any multitude of other things she knew going to come to pass? She even knew what book Castle was working on right now. She almost knew it word for word. Could she save Roy's life? Prevent Evelyn and their children from losing their husband and father and all the pain that she was only all to familiar with.
And her own father, he was sober, but they were still distant with each other. Could she fix that now too?
Kate made it past the doorman with no trouble, he knew exactly who she was, so that told her that she had been here often enough before even if she didn't yet know what the exact date was.
The love of her life was on the other side of this door. The one man on this planet that meant more to her than anyone else, including her father and Lanie. He was in possession of her heart, and she wanted him to have it. She wanted him to have it now too. Just would he? And would he give her his, or had he already?
Kate reached for her keys to her own front door but didn't find them. Of course she didn't have keys to the loft, she didn't live here, even if she did. Could she prevent him for disappearing on their wedding day? Or was that day no longer their wedding day?
Kate knocked on her front door and waited.
Finding Castle opening the door. "Beckett! What do you want Beckett?" Kate knew those words only this time they didn't sound like they did the first time. He wasn't mad at her. Like he was done with her and her stupidity.
"You, I just want you." And Kate did what she did last time. Moved right in and pushed him against the wall and kissed him, soundly and passionately. Putting as much of her love for this amazing man as she could into the kiss.
She had lost a lot of time last time and she wasn't losing any more than she had to this time. Only this time Castle didn't shove her up against the closed door and kiss her back. Not that Kate was letting him since she had dropped the elephants and was attacking him. She had her hands working up the underside of his shirt in search of his chest so she could pinch his nipples, hard.
She could feel Castle kissing her back, searching her mouth like she was searching his. It was Castle! The Castle she was married to, the Castle that she wanted badly, so very badly.
This time it was daylight instead of night time. Still she left him sleeping in their bed, put on the shirt that she had taken off of him, just like last time. And was soon back with two cups of coffee, finding him awake sitting up in bed.
The look he gave her was just like last time. "So it wasn't a dream." Castle points out.
She smirked yet again just like last time. "No, not a dream. I made you some coffee." She lifted up the mugs of hot coffee to prove it.
"You're here, and this isn't, …. " Castle is interrupted when she kisses him and uses her tongue to search his taste. A taste that she knew well. A taste that she craves so very badly.
Breaking from the kiss, not that she wanted to, because what she really wanted to do was start round three. "You're in Rick, you're past all of my walls. Every last one. I love you. … I love you so very much."
She could see him smiling and a little shocked. She knew this wasn't what he was expecting. He was likely expecting her to push him away again, forcing him to chase her again. Wait for her. Plus she had used his first name. Something she only did when her heart was doing the talking instead of her stupid head.
The shocked look on his face was still there. "Say that again." He asks her, like he was asking not believing his ears.
Kate gave him a quick kiss. "I said I love you, all of you, with all of my heart." Kate confirms.
It was weeks later, months actually with a lot of hard work and Kate was watching Senator Bracken being driven away in a DC police cruiser with his hands cuffed behind his back. Right down the steps of the capital building. His building, just steps away from the place he was trying so hard to get to by killing his way to it.
It only helped that while she was watching she was in the arms of the man she loved more than anything. "You got him Kate, you won." Rick then kissed her, right there on the sidewalk while Bracken is being driven away.
Her old life is driving away leaving her in the arms of her new life. "This looks like the perfect time." Rick tells her, and Kate finds him down on one knee one more time, holding up a ring in his hand.
However unlike last time she doesn't wait for him to ask her. She isn't shocked, worried that he was going to break up with her because she had done something stupid.
Kate was down on her knees and in his arms and kissing him. "God yes Rick." And Kate watched her rings slip back on her finger right where they belonged. "Don't leave me Rick, not for any reason at all. We can work through any problem that comes up, no matter how big you think it is. No matter how much fear you may think you have over what I will think. I love you, all of you, just as you are. So you need to talk to me about anything.
I want to learn Rick, tell me who you are, everything. And I promise to tell you anything about me. You're in Rick, let me in too." Kate begs of him. She wasn't afraid of how it sounded anymore. Her walls were down and they were staying down.
It was a new life and she was grabbing hold of it for all she was worth.
There was just one thing. How did this happen? Was it a dream that got her here? Was this life the dream? She could still remember that her big toe was hurt and bleeding except that she was in bed, not unconscious on the floor of her home with her husband asleep in the next room.
How had she damaged her toe that badly while sleeping in her own bed? Her OLD own bed.