First there was silence. Then, there was a boom-

"WHEELJACK!"

Wheeljack winced as Ratchet picked his way through the rubble of the room. "Over here Ratch!" The scientist called weakly. The medic turned, scowling, and Wheelajck sighed as the white paint flashed briefly in the light.

"Erm, Ratchet? Would you mind getting my arm? I think I left it over there-" Wheeljack said, pointing with his remaining foot. "And, my other leg I think is somewhere over there-"

Ratchet groaned, shaking his head. A vocalizer cleared, "Excuse me? I was over at Prowls office, when I heard an explosion-"

Both heads snapped towards the door, where a red and white Lamborghini stood quietly, optics curious. "No, this idiot here tried to blow himself up again. Here, come help me look for his body parts."

The Lamborghini hesitated for a moment, before cautiously stepping into the disaster area, balancing precariously on loose tiles of what used to be the ceiling. "Ratchet, could you please hurry it up with the painkillers?" Wheelajck gasped. "I'm not sure how I made copper explode, but I did somehow."

"Wheeljack, you could make nothing explode." Ratchet complained, bending down next to the engineer. Wheelajck smiled placating up at the medic, ear fins flashing softly, before brightening even further as the painkiller slid into his tubes.

"Oh, by the way Ratchet, I managed to get you your present."

"My present?"

"Yep, took me awhile to convince the people that it was for real, but they did eventually give it to me. It's on the table in the nuclear explosion safe box."

The Lamborghini bent to scoop up a leg, and Wheeljack cried, "Aha! I thought that's where it landed!"

The Lamborghini stepped close, and handed the leg over to the frowning Ratchet. "Wheeljack, what's the present for?"

"Oh, it's your creation day today, isn't it? So I got you a present…"

Ratchet shook his head. "Wheeljack, only you could decide to help me celebrate my off day by forcing me to fix you-"

Wheeljack, chagrined, quickly said, "You don't have to fix me, just help me get carted to the medbay, and I'll wait for the doctor who's there to fix me up."

"You'll be in for a long wait then. It's First Aid, and he isn't qualified to handle this big of a hook-up. Though I am thinking about just handing you off to him. Even if you had perfect coordination it wouldn't matter. You explode yourself so regularly-"

As Ratchet grumbled, the Lamborghini had rooted out another limb, along with a sphere. "Is this a solar grenade?"

"Yeah, I'm working on developing a better way to create them." Wheeljack chirruped, "I was trying to stabilize the metal by mixing it with copper, but as you can see-"

The Lamborghini jumped as the disembodied arm twitched slightly in his grasp. "I-I see." He said faintly, before giving the arm to Ratchet hurriedly. "If you don't mind me, I'm going to be late."

The Lamborghini left at a dead run, and Wheeljack sighed. "Oh, Ratchet, before we go, I want you to look at your present!"

"After." Ratchet chided, easily picking up Wheelajcks body. "As for now, we gotta get you to the medbay and fix you all up."

Wheeljack pouted, unseen by the mask that covered his lips. "Aww, c'mon Ratch, now!"

Ratchet sighed, and indulgently opened the box, to find it filled with a single piece of paper. Curious now, he picked it up and read it aloud.

"The Iacon Patent Committee hereby authorizes a claim that Ratchets Glower Of Doom is hereby copyrighted…"

Ratchet trailed off, to pin down Wheeljack with The Ratchets Glower of Doom©. "Wheeljack, what is this?"

"C'mon Ratchet, everyone agreed it would be the perfect present for you!" Wheelajck protested. Ratchets glower only deepened.

"Ratchet?" Wheeljack murmured, as a wrench subspaced, and Ratchets optics narrowed. Wheeljack gulped, "I think I'm about to be reformatted into something else I'm not going to like."

"You're thinking right." Ratchet growled.

As Ratchet advanced, Wheeljack considered the fact that he was probably lucky that he had managed to get the copyright to 'Ratchets Threat of Reformatting' yet. Probably because it mostly consisted of cuss words, and wouldn't be appropriate for children.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Ratchet sighed as he finished up with the last of the repairs, and Wheelajcks fins flashed happily. "Thanks Ratchet!"

"You're banned from the lab for the rest of the day." Ratchet warned Wheeljack, "I don't want to leave First Aid with the task of patching you up."

The door to the medbay slid open, and Wheeljack glanced up as the Lamborghini from earlier slid into the room. His optics were fluttering around the room, back straight as a rod. "Hello, what have we got here?" Ratchet murmured, before straightening up from Wheeljack, "You, what are you doing here?"

The mech jumped a little, before turning. "Oh, I'm here to see the doctor. Apparently since I haven't been to a truly qualified medic in awhile…" He trailed off, optics flickering around the room once again, searching for something.

Ratchet noticed this, and in the gentlest tone Wheeljack had heard yet, gestured to the berth beside Wheeljack. "Here, I just finished up with Wheeljack, so I'll give you a quick check up."

The mech glanced at both of them, hesitating. Wheeljack fins flashed as he said confidentially, "He only reformats mechs he doesn't like."

For a split second the mech looked ready to split, before he reluctantly stepped up to the berth, and sat down gingerly. Ratchet started off the questioning. "Designation?"

"Red Alert."

"First Designation, or one that came through reformatting?"

"First."

The questions pelted on, as Ratchet rooted out the datafile from the computer, and at last managed to bring it up. It was startling full. "Alright…" Ratchet sighed. "I'll look over your full medical file later. As for now, when was the last time you got a checkup?"

"Four vorns ago." Red Alert murmured, staring down at his hands.

Ratchet very nearly dropped the datafile. Red Alert glanced up, "I have medics training myself, and since I'm not often in the field I didn't need very many checkups."

The medic stared at Red Alert, before growling, "Oh really? Medics training? Very well then…"

Wheeljack watched as Ratchet ran through the checkup efficiently, before nodding. "Very well then, you're free to go. Tomorrow drive by and reschedule your next checkup."

"But-"

"You're going to be assigned to this base, aren't you? Schedule your next checkup."

For a long few moments Red Alert looked about ready to protest further, when Wheeljack shook his head, fingers flickering towards the doorway. Red Alert choked down his reply to nod, and stand. "Very well."

Wheeljack hurriedly followed after the Lamborghini, and the second they were out the door, he turned. "I'm Wheelajck. The base chief engineer."

"Red Alert, as you undoubtedly heard back there. I'm Security Director."

"Security?" Wheelajck murmured, surprised. "That's cool! I'll be depending on you to do a better job then the last guy." One optic shuttered slightly, as Red Alert stared at him in confusion.

"Better job?"

"You'll see." Wheeljack grinned beneath his mask, though his optics danced in delight. He was already calculating in his CPU what had gone wrong and how to maybe avoid it this next round. Red Alert watched the scheming look in his optics, and looked slightly suspicious.

(Vorns later)

Red Alert shoved the energon around in his cube, one optic on the door. Wheeljack attempted not to feel envious.

It was his own fault really. He had been so wrapped up in his science projects, he had barely realized it, and then once he had realized what he had felt… it was too late. The only way he got to see the Security Director these days was through setting the lab on fire, and that always brought Inferno along as well.

Inferno- the name he both hated and loved. Loved for the happiness he seemed to give to Red Alert, and hatred for stealing his current number one crush away-

Red Alert straightened as his optics rose to the door. Wheeljack played with his own cube, trying to keep his own fighting emotions under control. Maybe it had been inevitable that he had grown to love the slightly paranoid security mech. After all, that paranoia was what kept a sharp optic on Wheeljacks lab and kept Wheeljack from inadvertently killing himself more then once.

It was also that paranoia that brought Red Alert around every single time the lab was exploded, and inevitably ended helping with the clean up, unless something bigger had come up, and even then Red Alert would come around afterwards to make sure everything was alright.

Wheeljack glanced up as Inferno entered, grinning his head off. "Heya Red!"

"Inferno." Red Alert nodded back conservatively, shifting awkwardly on his seat. Inferno head tilted to one side, and he made a beeline for the energon dispenser, before turning around.

"Red, ya going to lazy around all day, or are ya coming with me?" Inferno questioned, optics glinting in burning delight. "I got it all set up, and it's about time-"

Red Alert stood with a slight sigh. Wheeljack strangled the impulse to leap up and say, 'No! He was with me first!' as Red Alert waved goodbye to him gloomily. Instead he waved goodbye back, sitting patiently for Red Alert to leave, before setting down the cube gently.

"Wait, what were they talking about?" Wheeljack could hear Bluestreak ask, and it was Jazz who answered.

"They're going to be meeting several different mechs from different bases. Not sure for what, some sort of reunion…"

Wheeljack looked up as Sideswipe flopped down at the table. "Hey, 'Jack, do you know when Inferno's going to propose to Red?"

Wheeljacks hands tightened. "Why would I know something like that?" He asked, instead of tossing the cube as the grinning twins head.

"C'mon 'Jack, everyone knows you see Red the most other then Inferno. And since Inferno's right out-"

"I don't know Sideswipe." Wheeljack sighed miserably, finally tossing his untouched cube away. If I did I'd probably be getting my aft into gear a whole lot faster then I am now at seeing what I can do about my crush.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Wheeljack stared at the bottle of Argon, twirling it gently in the container. An alarm on his internal chronometer went off, ringing silently, reminding him was about the time Red Alert would go to the cafeteria to grab his cube, if Inferno hadn't already gotten it for him.

A slight grimace passed along Wheeljacks face, unseen. Red Alert should still be at the reunion, talking and chatting with Inferno. Not in the cafeteria, sipping at his cube and relaxing.

His energon processor gurgled mournfully, reminding him that he hadn't eaten in awhile. With a sigh he got up, and walked down the hallway to the cafeteria, hoping that no one would be inside, so he could get his cube and leave.

The door slid open, to a nearly cafeteria. Nearly. Wheeljacks optics was drawn to the small figure huddled in one corner. The name flew out of his mouth before he could stop it. "Red Alert? What are you doing back so early?"

Red Alert looked up, optics startled. "Wheeljack?"

Wheeljack nodded, optics traveling up and down the small Autobot in worry. There was no outward marks decorating the body, other then the looks of a rough drive to the base, but there could be other marks-

"Oh, thank Primus it was only you. I thought it was someone else…" The sigh of relief brought the engineer over to the smaller mech in a shot.

"Red Alert, what- what happened? I thought you were going to be at some reunion…"

"I did." Red Alert growled. "Lot of good it did me. I know Inferno wants me to build up lost relationships with my forgotten family, but I couldn't care less. Not like any of them bothered with me since I was little."

Red Alert sighed, shoulders drooping, before he began wrapping his fingers around the cold energon cube, and taking a sip from it. He made a face at it, before setting it to the side, head coming to rest on a upright arm. Wheeljack stood there awkwardly, with nothing to say. "A- a family reunion?"

"Yep. First time I've been to one in vorns. Still the same old noisy family. They're all getting drunk right now as we speak. I left." His tone didn't encourage further questions, and Wheeljack didn't think he wanted to persue the subject judging from the tones. Red Alert sounded rather depressed.

As if on cue to distract both of them, his energon processor rumbled loudly, reminding him that he had nothing to drink in quiet a few orns. "Hungry?" Red Alert murmured, the briefest smile twitching the corners of his mouth.

Wheeljack nodded, scratching the back of his head. "Yeah, I am."

As soon as a cube was filled up, and placed down, Red Alert and Wheeljack began to talk quietly, about different things, carefully skirting around the family reunion. Nearly an entire orn passed before Wheeljack finally managed to drag up the subject that had been bothering him ever since Sideswipe had asked. "Red, are you bonded?"

"No!" The startled reply reassured Wheelajck, and he sank back with an inward sigh of relief. The engineer brightened even further as Red Alert continued, "No, I'm not bonded."

"That's too bad. Have any plans on getting bonded?"

Red Alert flushed at the question, looking down at his stone-cold energon. "I hope, yes… but unfortunately I can't even seem to ask them out."

"Oh-"

Wheeljack paused as his comm. link went off, and he activated it, loud enough for Red Alert to hear. "Hey, 'Jack, have you seen Red? He disappeared, and I can't find him-"

"Yeah, he's right here Inferno." Wheeljack said blithely, ignoring Red Alerts pointed glare. "Why?"

"Good, Could ya keep an optic on him?" Inferno asked, "I'm a little worried about him disappearing so suddenly."

"Erm, Inferno-" Wheeljack began, optics darting on towards Red Alert, "I-"

"He trusts ya, ya know." Inferno interrupted. "So keep an optic on him 'till I get back will ya? He actually trusts ya."

Red Alert flushed slightly as Wheeljack stared at the comm. link in surprise. Inferno continued, "Besides, my little bro needs someone to look after him. There isn't anyone else onboard the Ark that I'd trust with my brother."

Wheeljack gaped at the comm. link, as it clicked off. Red Alerts head fell into his hands. "Sure Inferno, why not scream it to the world?" Red Alert muttered softly, before Wheeljacks scattered thoughts slowly pulled themselves together.

"Red, what was that? You two are brothers?"

"Yes."

"You don't sound too happy about that-"

"I really, really have to wonder sometimes." Red Alert sighed, before he shook his head, shoulders drooping further then what Wheeljack could think was possible. Wheeljack stared in amazement at Red Alert, before he shook his head.

Red Alert muttered something, shrinking down on himself. Wheeljack considered the security director, as the mech stared at nothing in particular, an awkward silence falling in the wak of Infernos interruption.

This still left Wheeljack with the problem of what to do with Red Alert without messing up badly and making a huge mess.

They could go to the lab, but Ratchet had gone on a through haul over of the lab, removing the more explosive items. Which meant that Wheeljacks lab was currently stripped of all materials except for the neutral gasses.

Red Alert watched him through half-shuttered optics, and Wheeljack grinned in sudden delight. "I know Red!"

Red Alerts head came up warily. Wheeljack slung an arm around his shoulders. "How about you release your inner mad scientist?"

"What?"

"Come on, I know that everyone has a mad inner scientist that loves booms, and bangs, and explosions complete with a spectacular light show. Time to release yours."

"Wheeljack- please- I don't really feel like it, and besides, you only have the neutral gasses in your lab. I watched Ratchet remove them in an attempt to get one days worth of no explosions. None of the neutral gasses will explode."

"Ah- but you don't know that, now do you?" Wheeljack tutted, one finger wagging, optics dancing in delight. "C'mon, what do you think it'll take to make Argon explode?"

"Wheeljack-" Red Alert began, before pausing to look at the container of energon. Wheeljack held a mental breath. Come on mad scientist I know exists in there somewhere, experiment a little here!

"-Do you think if we heat the Argon to a high enough of a temperature and then dunk it in liquid oxygen it'll explode?"

YES! Convert number one to the Church of Blowing Stuff Up is in business!

Wheeljack grinned manically underneath his mask. "Let's test and find out!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Ratchet stared at the lab in growing surprise and exasperation. "Wheeljack, what did you do this time?"

"Actually, not my fault this time!" Wheeljack practically sang from a corner. Both he and Red Alert could be seen cowering beneath a table that had weathered more, and seen more explosions then any other table had a right to see and somehow made it through all in one piece.

"Tell Perceptor that we made Argon explode will you Ratch?"

"You did what?"

Red Alert piped up, "I helped Wheeljack figure out how to make Argon explode Ratchet."

"You-" Ratchet spluttered, before turning to Wheeljack to pin him down with The Ratchets Glare of Doom©. "What did you do to him?"

"He's my newest convert to the Church of Blowing Stuff Up!" Wheeljack laughed. "Besides that, it's just the inner scientist waiting to be released!"

Ratchet picked his way through the lab, and Wheeljack winked down at the still crouching Red Alert. To his surprise, Red Alert winked back, just a little. The engineer blinked in surprise as Red Alert reached behind to pick up the mask that had blown off.

"You know Wheeljack, you might want to keep a closer optic on this." Red Alert murmured, before leaning back against the wall to view the destroyed lab. "We certainly managed to do a number on this."

"Yeah, and this is just the beginning." Wheeljack cackled. "We only tested one neutral gas. What do you think the others will do?"

Red Alert glanced at the destroyed lab, before smiling slightly. "We'll have to find out. After we convince Ratchet that he doesn't want to kill us."

Wheeljack looked up with his brilliant smile, as the glowering doctor swept down upon him.

A/n: I…I can't believe it! I finally wrote the pairing that has managed to escape me for nearly an entire year now. Yay Wheeljack! Hope I didn't get him too badly since this is one of my first times actually writing Wheeljack (and it's all in his point of view practically)

Read, review, tell me if I got Wheeljack all right. Please. The part of Red Alert and Inferno being brothers to answer (in part) a request to see them as brothers. Later (as I get a better story idea) I'll do a full length fic of that. ;)

Anyways, review!