Author's Note: I do not own any of the characters in SWAC. I have also considered making this story longer and with more chapters. If you would be interested in this, tell me in the review!
You know there's something wrong with you if you actually choose to work at two am. Yet there I was hanging decorations in the Prop House two days before Christmas, well, technically it was now the 24th. I couldn't sleep, so I decided to make the place look nice for Tawni, who was bringing her new boy toy, Damon to the place to hang out. We were all officially on vacation till after New Year, so why not?
Plus I liked silence. Even though It's A Wonderful Life was on and I was enjoying it, I could think a lot clearer. Plus, it was my first Christmas in California as Sonny Monroe, star of So Random. I wanted to cry, because I was that grateful, but I couldn't cry because everyone was always around and it would look weird. Tawni didn't understand tears of happiness unless it was another person, and Nico, Grady and Zora froze whenever anyone was upset. I was just happy that I wasn't in George Bailey's position yet; I didn't want to die and I didn't have four children, thank God.
Sometimes I was sad though. Sometimes I did want the one thing he did have. It was a stupid thing to want, and plenty of people got along just fine without them, but a boyfriend would not kill me. James didn't count, because he was a jerk. You know who else didn't count? Chad Dylan Cooper, even though the rumours certainly suggested it. I shouldn't think of him, because it's late and I never ever get a minute to enjoy the silence and appreciate the sound of my own -
"I thought I heard voices!" I almost jumped right out of my skin when I turned around to see Chad Dylan Cooper standing in the doorway. He was wearing a really nice shirt and jeans, and for once in his life, his hair was a little messy. I glared at him for a minute and marched over to the door, pulling him in. And that was when the stench hit me like a ton of bricks.
"Chad, are you drunk?" I demanded, covering my mouth with my wrist, which I had frankly drowned in perfume earlier. He immediately started laughing hysterically and punched me on the back. I assumed he meant to simply pat me softly.
"No!" He replied, shaking his head and pointed to the Christmas tree behind me, I guessed he was pointing to me. "I thought I heard voices and wow, here I am. What time is it? You should be home."
"I couldn't sleep," I replied. He smelled worse than Marshall did when you wanted to talk to him after hours in his office. I could've gotten wasted with just the smell. "What are you doing here?"
"My friend dropped me off here," he replied, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "You see, Chad Dylan Cooper was at a party and there was punch. I drank a lot of this punch and I didn't realise that it had been spiked, because I do not drink."
"Oh my God, you're drunk!" I gasped, immediately sitting him down on the sofa. "How could you not know that the punch was spiked? There's no such thing as non-alcoholic punch!"
"The King of Drama is wasted!" He mimicked my tone. "I couldn't go home, because I would meet some fans and they would realise I am out of it and tell someone like Perez Hilton. So I came here."
"We need to sober you up!" I snapped, immediately standing up. I was walking over to make some coffee, when Chad grabbed my arm and forced me to sit down.
"Hey, let's talk for a minute," he slurred, and he was so wasted he couldn't even look at me. "How are YOU? What is going on in little Sonny's life?"
"Well Sonny is freaking out, because someone is going to come in here and find you wasted and we will both be in deep trouble!" I hissed, but he took my hands. I should have fought back and told him to leave me alone, but I didn't want him to start yelling. I have to say, the boy can be quite loud when he wants to.
"No they won't," he insisted, but I rolled my eyes. "Trust me, I have been here a while and - hey, is this that wonderful life movie!" It was amazing, how could he even see the screen?
"Yeah," I replied. I decided to give up on the coffee thing, hopefully he would just fall asleep, and if I didn't know any better I'd say he didn't want to sober up. "Do you like it?"
"One of my all time favourites, it is not just the best Christmas movie, it is one of the best movies," he told me, nodding his head a little too enthusiastically. "Can I tell you a secret?"
"What?" I asked, he was actually amusing me now. I had never seen Chad Dylan Cooper inebriated before, and if he told me a really good secret, I could squeeze so much more out of him and use it to blackmail him his whole life. He had met his match.
"I wanna be like Jimmy Stewart," he whispered loudly. Drunk people really forgot the art of subtlety. "You know what I mean? He was one of the greatest actors of that generation."
"Chad, how many times do I have to call you the greatest actor of our generation if I want a favour?" I giggled, "You're not telling me that you don't think you're better than Jimmy Stewart, are you?"
"I'll be very honest with you, I am not better than anyone," he told me, and he said it quite seriously. "I want to be like Jimmy though, because he wasn't just a good actor, he was an icon. He was in the army, you know. He was a general of the air force I think and everyone had good things to say about him. No one has nice things to say about me. They think I'm hot, but what is that? I mean I know I am pretty damn beautiful, like a Greek God, but since when have looks mattered? I am on a tween soap opera! That's not Oscar worthy!"
"Chad, you're drunk," I insisted, noticing that we were still holding hands. I was going to let go, but he had a weird expression on his face. I didn't want to entice him. "You know you're good."
"But I'm not Sonny," he told me. "And I'll bet you never thought you'd hear the day I said that, but I have to tell someone. It is not easy walking around pretending you are the cat's pyjamas."
"I'm going to ignore what you just said," I giggled. Wow, Chad turned into a teenager from the 1950s when he was wasted. Why didn't I have my videophone with me? "But Chad, because you're wasted and probably won't remember this, I think you're a pretty great actor."
"You do?"
"Yeah, because I swear, you can act even when you're not supposed to be acting," I replied. I hated this; I wish I hadn't said anything, because he would probably assume it to be something it wasn't.
"Sonny I'm drunk, I don't even know what you said there," he replied, shrugging his shoulders.
"It's nothing, forget I said it," I insisted, still holding his hand. Why didn't I just let it go if I felt so strongly about it? I mean it was moist and would probably make my hand stink of booze. If I was honest, I didn't want to let it go. Don't even ask me why.
"Can I tell you something else?" He asked me softly, leaning into me. His eyes were big and blue and they still managed to look all sparkly. I tried not to stare into them for too long, because when I did, I completely lost track of everything. "I knew there was alcohol in the punch."
"You did?" I asked, but it wasn't exactly a surprise to me. I could taste alcohol in anything and I never drank it. "Why did you say you didn't know?"
"Because it sounds awful to say that I wanted to get drunk," he replied, and he looked at me with such shame. That was it, now I was definitely going to let go of his hand. What a terrible thing for a seventeen-year-old boy today. I was so letting go of his hand…now. Nope, I was still holding it. He had super glued our hands together. Why couldn't I let go?
"You wanted to get drunk?"
"Yeah I did," he nodded. "I know it is so wrong, because I am four years away from being legally able to drink, but I like it. I know I am Mackenzie, and he just doesn't get drunk."
"You're supposed to be a role model," I scolded, shaking my head, but I couldn't be mad at him, and I couldn't understand why.
"I know!" He snapped. "I know I am supposed to be Chad Dylan Cooper who takes the moral high road and I know I chose that life, but I hate it sometimes! Kids our age and younger do this every weekend and we're supposed to pretend that we're so perfect."
"So you don't want to be a role model?"
"Of course I do," he insisted. He was really confusing me now. "I love that a kid will watch my show and think 'hey, if Chad Dylan Cooper doesn't need to drink to have a good time then neither do I'. To me, that's the greatest thing about my job, but with all the responsibility and not being allowed to slip up and make mistakes - even though all humans make mistakes - sometimes I want to slip up, just so I can feel a little normal. Do you get me?"
"I do," I confessed, because I really did and he actually did make sense. I couldn't believe that Chad and I were agreeing on something, especially when it was so wrong. "I hate drinking. Always have."
"You do?" He asked, and the shocking thing? He actually sounded surprised.
"Yep," I nodded. "I was so glad to get this big break, because now I have an excuse for not getting wasted. Can you believe that a teenager needs to have an excuse for not wanting to drink?"
"We really are different," he sneered, and he actually squeezed my hand a little. It made my heart skip a beat.
"Chad, remember when I said that you're a good actor, because you don't even know you're acting sometimes?" I asked him, my heart beating so rapidly it was humming.
"Yeah, what do you mean?" He asked me, looking quite curious.
"Sometimes when we're hanging out, or whatever it is that we do," I began, looking away from him. "Sometimes I think that you might actually - you sometimes act - what I mean to say is that you act like you might like me a little."
"I do?" He asked, and I felt stupid. What was I thinking saying that out loud? He looked at me so blankly and my face started reddening, and hey, was that a tear?
"You know what? That's so stupid, just forget-"
"I never act around you," he then said, and I felt like maybe I was going to faint. "It's weird, but you're like, the only person I don't feel I have to act around."
"Say what?" I managed to choke. I had to be careful, my mouth was gaping enough to fit a few tourists in.
"I have to act like this super arrogant douche and stuff, but with you, it's not an act," he told me, and he sounded a little speechless himself. "I know I'm an asshole to you, but that's only because I get so freaked out when we're actually nice to each other."
"Why do you get so freaked out when we're nice to each other?" I asked him. What was I doing? He was probably going to tell me something that I didn't want to hear, and then we would never be able to talk again and I really didn't want that to happen.
"Because I'm never nice," he replied, sighing. I felt myself squeeze his hand. "I'm a jerk to everyone, and I have concluded why that is. Chad Dylan Cooper does not need a degree in psychology to know this one. My parents were jerks to me, and I'm their son. I only see them once a year maybe, because they're out spending the dough I make. They left me with nannies and anyone who even hinted they liked children."
"I didn't know that," I replied. Now he was making me feel guilty?
"I don't tell people, because it's not a nice thing to say that your parents don't want you," he said, looking away from me. "So I conclude that because I spent the bulk of my childhood trying to make them love me, I've decided that I don't need anyone. If your own parents can't even love you, who can?"
"Don't say that," I replied, putting my arms around him. I was hugging Chad Dylan Cooper and he was hugging me back. What was going on here? Why were tears welling up in my eyes? Why did I feel so awful about it? "People do love you."
"No they don't, they adore this guy I pretend to be," he smirked, pushing me away from him. "I'm used to being that guy, but you mess all that up and it makes me think-"
"It makes you think what?" I asked, my heart pounding and butterflies in my stomach.
"It makes me think that maybe you-"
"Maybe I love you?" I finished breathlessly. We looked at each other for a second. He didn't look like the Chad Dylan Cooper I thought I knew. He looked so much more authentic. I felt like I was staring past his sparkly eyes and into his soul.
I leaned over, and before I knew it, he had touched my lips. I pulled away for a second, unsure if I wanted it, but something stopped me. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to kiss him. It was weird, but in a perfect way. When I felt his arms wrap around me I felt fine. It felt natural for Chad to be kissing me, and if I was honest, I didn't want him to let go.
"Sonny, I think I do love you," he told me, his arms still grasping onto me tightly, like I was going to disappear. I was glued to his eyes, and I couldn't stop smiling.
"You do?" I asked, trying not to giggle. I didn't believe it. I couldn't understand why, but I thought he was lying to me, because he was drunk.
"Yeah," he replied, sounding just as terrified as me. "You always try to make me a better person and I think it actually works. I would never put a fake itchy beard on for a girl, and I definitely wouldn't even consider being on her side against Selena Gomez, but with you, I'd do it everyday if it made you happy."
"Don't," I insisted, putting my finger on his lips to shush him. I sat up straight and edged away from him, my head absorbing everything he had just said to me. "You hate me Chad! You always have and the only reason you help me is to feed your ego! I'm used to that, and I don't want it to change! I'm supposed to deny that I am in love with you and just want you from afar! You are not supposed to tell me this, because that means that everything I thought was true isn't! And that means that everything has to change and-"
"You love me?" He asked me, and he actually sounded surprised. I had never left Chad Dylan Cooper speechless until now. We looked at each other for a second, and I took away the fact that we were Sonny Monroe and Chad Dylan Cooper. We were now just a boy and girl. And we were going to shit our pants any second now.
"I don't want to, I sighed, both our hands clasped. "But I do. And what's worse? I know it's not a crush, because even when you're being a jerk, I love you, and I hate you for that! I truly hate you for that!"
I wanted to cry, and I think I would have cried if he hadn't kissed me. This time I held onto him tightly and when we stopped kissing, I brushed my cheek against his. I really didn't want him to disappear. He held me close to him and when I could feel his stupid shiny hair against my nose, it felt absolutely perfect. I felt perfect when Chad Dylan Cooper's hair itched my nose. I felt perfect thinking of him as my boyfriend. It was weird; it was like this was the way it was supposed to be all along.
****
RING RING!
Chad and I both sat up straight as he searched frantically for his phone. I looked around me and saw that I had missed the end of the movie. The clock on the TV said that it was ten am. I immediately walked over to a mirror and fixed my hair, which had the imprint of Chad's face on it. We must have fallen asleep together.
"Chad Dylan Cooper. Oh hi Marie, yep I am aware that I have an interview with Tween Weekly today at noon. Yeah, I'm in my apartment now about to hop in the shower. Yeah, I'll call you afterwards. Yeah, you have a great day too, and tell that family of yours that I say hi. Okay, later."
He hung up the phone and slipped it into his jeans' pocket. "I really hate that woman."
"You sounded nice to her on the phone," I replied. I stood beside the mirror and he was still sitting on the couch. He didn't look like he had a hangover, and I bet he knew it. I liked it when his hair was ruffled. I liked the way he looked in the morning. When I thought about the night before, I didn't know what to say. It felt like a dream. Whenever it crossed my mind, I felt a small smile spread over my face, especially when I thought about what he said to me.
"Aw man I was so wasted last night, but hey, you wouldn't know it, right?" He winked at me, and I was forced to smile back. Why hadn't he said anything? I half expected him to have kissed me by now. Not that I was desperate or anything, but he hadn't even smiled at me properly. "Sorry to crash here, but I didn't know where to go and my own dressing room was locked."
"It's really fine," I insisted. He was trying to play it cool, and I understood that. Tawni could come in at any second, I would ask him to text me or something. We didn't have to make it public right away, because it was quite a scandal. Sonny Monroe was in love with her archrival and he loved her back. Why did it make me smile like crazy when I thought about it?
"I didn't try anything, did I?"
Those six words made me feel very sick. I looked at him with surprise, expecting him to laugh and tell me that he had to ask me that, because there were cameras in here and he could be blackmailed, but he didn't. He looked at me impatiently and shrugged, waiting for me to give him an answer.
Oh my God, Chad really couldn't remember saying anything to me. The thought dawned on me almost immediately and I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to believe that everything we had said was simply because he was drunk and feeling sorry for himself. I wanted him to love me, because it would be so perfect. I would not be one of those girls who were fooled easily if he meant everything he said. God, I was so stupid! I had been standing there waiting for him like an idiot. I had comforted him and it turned out that I was just a convenience for him. I was such an idiot! I wanted to punch the wall, no, what I actually wanted to do was kick him in the balls.
"Nope," I shook my head. I wanted to tell him I would blackmail him with the drunk thing, but I didn't have it in me to say anything to him. I was worried that I would cry at any minute if I even tried to pretend that nothing happened.
"I gotta go," he said, rolling his eyes. "More people want to tell me I am the best actor of our generation. Catch you later."
He winked at me like he winked at everyone, and then walked out of the door. I sat down on the sofa and stared into space for a minute. I felt a tear roll down my cheek and quickly wiped it away. He didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve anything. He didn't deserve for me to act like this was a big deal. Okay, Sonny had a plan. I was going to act like nothing had happened.
I jumped when I saw Chad open the door again. There was something about his eyes; they looked the way they did the night before. He was looking at me the way he did the night before, and I felt the butterflies flying around in my gut again.
"Sonny?"
"What?"
There was silence for a second, and I heard him gulp a little. It felt like time was going by so slowly and I was just waiting for him to tell me what I wanted to hear. I didn't want it to be drunk talk. I didn't want it to be something that he could so easily forget. I thought I meant more than that.
"Nothing."
He closed the door again. Yeah, we weren't that boy and girl who were being honest with each other and fighting our famous stereotypes. We were Sonny Monroe and Chad Dylan Cooper. We would never be anything more than that.
THE END