Peach dusted off her parasol. She and the other females- that is, Zelda, Samus, Jigglypuff, and Nana- were sipping tea and discussing the novel Living Like a Lady in a World Controlled by Men. Peach was very fond of it, believing that it directly addressed their situation. Then again, she had written it. Toad poured all of them more herbal tea and set a plate of cookies on the pink coffee table. "Ladies," Peach said. "I believe it's time for a change."
"What kind of, uh, change, Peach?" Samus asked in her robotic voice. They were in Peach's room at the castle, which was covered in frilly pink wallpaper and flowers. Samus, in her orange suit, looked very out of place.
"The game is called Super Smash Brothers," she said, sipping her tea. "When we clearly aren't men."
Zelda looked around uncomfortably. "Peach, are you saying that we should rename this game?"
"I'm saying that we should start out own club, if you will. It would give us the name we deserve."
"More like the name that's politically correct," Nana muttered, taking two cookies. "Are these shaped like Mario?" Peach ignored her and looked at Samus.
"To start, you should only be in zero-suit form, Samus, you can bring out your femininity."
"Peach, I don't think we agreed to anything…" Samus said quickly as Zelda tried not to laugh uncontrollably. "I think we're fine as it is."
"We give people the wrong impression!" Peach shrieked. "When they hear 'Super Smash Brothers', they think brothers! Guys! Men! Ruthless killing for fun!"
Zelda and Samus looked at each other. "Isn't that what the game's all about?"
"It doesn't have to be! Don't you understand? We have the power to change the entire game! We can make this much more suitable to our needs! We can so the men that they aren't in charge!" Princess Toadstool was in hysterics, bent on the fact that they were woman and the game referred to them as men.
"Boys aren't all that bad," Nana said. "Popo is nice." She and Popo wore matching parkas- she had pink, he had blue- and fought together. Without each other, they were basically useless.
"But imagine what you could do on your own, Nana! Imagine the great things you could accomplish if you didn't have Popo hanging around you all the time! In fact, everyone grab a piece of paper. Write something that you would be able to accomplish without a man in charge of you."
"No one's in charge of us, Peach," Zelda said. "We can think for ourselves, y'know."
"The men think they rule the world! Zelda, if we turned the tables, then we would be the rulers! We wouldn't have to have ruthless matches and battles! We could do as we pleased, and make them do so as well! Samus, how many times has your boyfriend made you battle with him, and you had to just because he said so?"
"PEACH! Snake is not my boyfriend!" Samus yelled, taking off her helmet. "We're just friends! We like fighting each other!" She had turned the same color as the coffee table. Zelda had failed and was now uncontrollably laughing. "Zelda, don't get me started on you and Captain Falcon!"
"Ladies, get back to writing!" Peach said angrily. She was already on the backside of her paper.
Ten minutes later, the princess told everyone to stop. "Nana, tell us what you wrote."
"Um, I didn't write anything, but I drew a picture!" The girl said excitedly. She was only about four feet tall, but she stood up and faced everyone nonetheless. "See? This is a mountain with snow at the top, and at the bottom is a butterfly! I figure she's trying to climb the mountain."
Peach clasped her hands together and smiled. "It's a lovely metaphor, Nana! The men are the mountain, and we, the women, are the dainty butterfly. We have no chance of climbing up the mountain because of how tall and scary it is. That's wonderful! Samus, you're next."
"A-actually, it's just a picture… I like butterflies…" Nana said quietly, helping herself to another cookie. Samus looked at her paper.
"Right… So I wrote nothing."
"Exactly, Samus! You're so controlled by them that you don't know what you can do on your own!" Peach was ecstatic. "That's my entire point! They've brainwashed us!"
"No, Peach, I mean I didn't write anything. I can do everything I want to now any-" Samus stopped because Peach held up her white-gloved hand. "Zelda?"
"I wrote that I could finally learn to cook."
"You can't cook?" Peach asked frantically. "Oh my goodness!"
"Yeah, our head chef at Hyrule Castle is a guy; I figure it's a conspiracy against my feminine side…" She and Samus chuckled.
"You're exactly right, Zelda! It is a conspiracy! And there will be no more chuckling in this castle. Men chuckle. Women giggle."
The two ignored her.
"Where'd Jigglypuff go?" Nana asked, looking under the table. "I haven't seen her." Peach sighed, got up, and grabbed a pink pillow from off her bed. She plopped it down on the floor and it yawned. As it turned out, Jigglypuff perfectly blended in with Peach's bed.
"Jigglypuff! Have you been paying any attention?" Peach screamed. The puffball nodded. "Good. Now, as for our society, it should meet once a week. I've already picked out a name for it and made us each official badges. We're going to call it the Association of Super Smash's Elite Sisters." She held up a white poster that had the name in a swirly, pink script. "I'm hanging this at the front of the castle, that way the men will know that we're serious. I've ordered matching uniforms as well."
"Peach, doesn't the acronym for this society-" Zelda was cut off by Samus.
"Peach, you're taking this way too far!" Samus yelled. "Have you been taking something? We're perfectly fine the way we are!"
"No we're not!" Peach screamed back. "The women of this game are treated unfairly! We deserve respect! Dignity! A correct name! We're changing the way this is run, and there's nothing the men can do about it! Samus, you, Zelda, Nana and Jigglypuff are part of this society if you want to be or not!" Then there was a knock at the door.
"Uh… Princess Peach? Sorry to interrupt," the male voice said, "But Samus and Zelda said they'd team battle Falcon and me at four, and it's four-thirty… Just making sure you guys are still alive… I'm going downstairs now; don't let me bother you…" Snake could be heard stomping down the stairs. Peach looked at both of them.
"Tuesday, we'll have another meeting," she said calmly. "Don't forget your badges; they have your name on them." Samus and Zelda looked at each other nervously, grabbed their badges (which were hearts with the name of the association on their names in pink on them) and hastily left the castle to battle Snake and Captain Falcon.
"That… That was the weirdest thing I've ever been to," Samus said, putting her helmet back on. Zelda nodded.
"This is not going to be good."
... This is so random. I'm only writing it because taking characters to the extreme is, um, fun.