Damon was busy finding the bottom of the crystal scotch bottle on his bar when the front door to the boarding house was slammed shut. He knew it was her. It had only been a few hours since he tried to take her home and they had their scuffle in the tomb entrance after she found out about Stefan's entrapment. She had called him several times from her house, with no answer. Elena was many things; confident and strong but patient, she was not.
"Damon, as much help as your incessant binge drinking is, we need to find a way to get Stefan out of that tomb, and fast" Elena's voice was thick with the sarcasm she saved specifically for conversations with him. Damon looked up from his glass; he wasn't nearly drunk enough to deal with her tonight.
"After the day I've had Elena, I need a drink…or ten, so why don't you just run home and we will reconvene in a few days" he brushed her off. He moved back to his pensive stance in front of the fire place, the alcohol created the illusion of a brooding Damon, but he would never admit to it. She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. From her position in the walk way, she has a perfect view of his profile. Elena knew that he was mad at her; but for the life of her, she couldn't rationalize why he cared so much.
Both him and Stefan had explained the mentality of vampires to her; they were a fight or flight type of being, with only one goal in mind; saving their own skin. She would have thought that would be the way Damon would react to her "Kamikaze Mission", as he had called it; to save himself. Elena was a threat to everyone she knew. After the display they witnessed today with Elijah, they should be running for their undead lives, like Rose had. But Damon stayed and she knew if Stefan had been given the choice, he would have stayed as well.
His quiet and somber demeanor was slowly driving her crazy, "A few days? We need to get him out, and soon. He can't just stay in there with her while all of this is going on, we need him Damon" she tried to reason.
He never looked up from the fireplace, "what are you worried about Elena? Afraid Katherine is going to get her claws back into him. But then again, Stefan is a single man; he can do what he wants, with however he wants" his voice held an edge, he was taunting her.
But his attitude had nothing to do with Stefan and Katherine and they both knew it, "Come on Damon, why don't we talk about why you're so broody tonight. We both know you could give a shit less about Stefan being in the tomb, so what is it? What sparked this drink-athon?"
His was one of the things he loved about Elena; she threw all the sarcasm she was getting right back at him when he treated her this way. She was never afraid of his reaction, she was never afraid of him. That was obvious in the swing she tried to take at him earlier that day. He couldn't take it anymore, he looked over at the face that haunted his dreams, the one he loved but could never have.
"You wanna know what caused my cheery mood Elena? Well, take your pick. My brother is locked in the tomb with the wretched bitch of Mystic Falls. We have ancient Vampires after us. Rose, who was a valuable ally, took off on us and you keep trying to throw yourself to the wolves in order to save everyone" his anger rose with every word.
Her own frustration level seemed to increase the more he spoke, "God you are frustrating. The vampires aren't after us. They're after me. Rose leaving kept her alive, you should have followed her. I am not going to let the coffin's of everyone I love rest on my conscience. And why do you care anyways, I'm just another human. Why keep risking your own life to save me?" Now she just wanted to push his buttons, she knew this would end the conversation and then maybe they could speak rationally.
She heard the cracking of glass and realized that he had reduced the crystal glass in his hand to dust; he was in her face before she could register any movement. "If you are honestly asking me that question, then you are not as smart as you think you are" his warm breath hit her face just like it had in the tomb entry and in Slater's apartment. It made her shiver involuntarily, but she didn't back down.
"Come on Damon, I'm just a stupid human. My life isn't worth everyone else's. Don't you wanna save your own skin? In a couple years, you won't even remember my existence. You can go back to screwing and killing, never needing to feel anything. You always said it was easier that way" she continued to taunt him.
He continued to stare her down, eyes wide, but his intimidating look wasn't going to break her down. "You have no idea what you are talking about, you think that just because you spend time with us means you understand what we feel. You're human. Your emotions are cut and dried; it's never that simple for us" he snarled.
She smirked, "then why don't you enlighten me Damon. Explain those feelings to me. Oh wait, let me take off my necklace first" she quipped. He inhaled sharply, she knew, that was impossible. He had compelled her, she shouldn't remember.
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh, not so confident anymore are we? What's wrong Damon? Didn't want to fess up to being in love with a useless human? Am I not good enough for the great Damon Salvatore? Do I cramp your style?" he finally turned away from her harsh words. He couldn't face what she knew.
"Did you really think I would go unprotected for even a minute after that hell of a day? I ingested vervain as soon as I got home that night. And I haven't stopped since" her voice had lightened considerably when she had seen the tortured look in his eyes. It was there and gone so fast that if she had blinked, she would have missed it.
He wouldn't make eye contact again, "Elena just go. We will worry about Stefan tomorrow" he voice was slightly begging.
"I told Jenna I wasn't coming home 'cause her and Mr. Saltzman keep going at it, so you are stuck with me. You might as well talk to me Damon".
The attempt at a joke didn't lighten his mood; he continued to stare at the fireplace, "What do you want me to say? You already know everything" he murmured to the flames.
"Yep that's what I thought. I really need to learn how to let things go, after all this time I expected more from you. But I guess it always comes down to vampire man whore and pathetic human" she spat as she walked up to the closest guest room to the flight of stairs. She couldn't let him see her cry. She flew into the guest room and slammed the door. Her back hit the door and she slid to the floor sobbing. The disappointment was radiating through her body. She really had thought Stefan has been wrong about him, she had seen the positive changes, witnessed his improvement. But maybe something's Damon didn't want to change. The cold heartless demeanor was something he hid behind so well, maybe he didn't want to break it, and maybe he liked it better that way, not feeling.
After a few minutes, Elena got up off the floor and threw herself on the bed, clutching the pillow and continuing her sobs. If she hadn't seen the hall light flood the room, she would have missed his entrance.
"Elena, I don't deserve you. It has nothing to do with you being human or Stefan or Katherine. Nothing to do with my lifestyle or what I consider normal. I just love you too much to try and claim you. You deserve so much better" he told the floor in front of the bed where she sat.
This just aggravated her, "And what about my decision? Shouldn't I get to decide what I deserve and what I want? God, for polar opposites, you and Stefan sure are alike. You both just love to make my decisions for me. Well fuck that. I'm deciding". She got up off the bed and stood in front of him, daring him to back away, he didn't.
She leaned up onto her toes and placed a hand on each of his cheeks, bringing him down to her level. He made no move to help her; he just stood still watching her in awe. She leaned up one last time and lightly brushed her lips against his, he made no move in reaction. Frustrated, Elena removed her hands from his face and brought them around his neck, moving him down farther, and coaxed his mouth into moving against hers. She kissed him harder and parted her lips to run her tongue along his lower lip. This jolted him into moving; he brought his arms to her waist and pulled her closer to him, crushing her against him. He slowly parted his lips and his tongue met hers, the kiss picked up intensity and their tongued dueled for dominance. After a small eternity, Elena had to pull away to catch her breath but she refused to let go of him. Neither loosened their hold on the other.
"Elena…" he started but she cut him off.
"Just don't say anything for a few minutes okay. I just wanna sit here and enjoy this" she whispered. Her forehead rested against his chest and they sat there holding each other of a few minutes, content in their momentary perfection.
Approximately ten minutes later, Elena pulled away from his grasp and turned away from him, wiping her eyes.
"So, go ahead Damon, ruin the moment" she chuckled darkly, her eyes never meeting his.
"What was that Elena?"
"We both know you don't need a description of what that was. But if you are referring to the meaning of it, I think it's pretty simple; you love me but don't want me and I don't love you, yet, but I want you. I believe that could be considered an impasse" she seemed to be taking a page from his book. She was using sarcasm to speak the truth but keep him away. She was borrowing his emotional walls.
"What about Stefan?" Damon murmured, his mind couldn't shut down, he had to know what that kiss had meant to her.
Elena snorted, "Oh please, Stefan and Katherine will be screwing on the tomb floor in a few hours. It took me a while to realize it but I was just a stand in and I'm okay with that. It was nice while it lasted, but those things never last forever" she seemed at peace with the end of her relationship with Stefan. And if she were telling the truth, she would explain how her unruly feelings for the eldest Salvatore brother was her main reason for keeping things ended with Stefan.
He watched her pace the length of the guest room. They really did seem to be at an impasse. He huffed at her, "so what now?"
She shrugged, "we find some witches and try to get Stefan out of the tomb and watch our backs for Elijah and Klaus" she was avoiding and they both knew it.
"That wasn't what I was referring to and you know it" he snapped.
"What do you want me to say Damon, you won't let me fall in love with you, even though it would be so easy, because you've decided you aren't worthy. So it looks like I'm gonna have to find a nice human guy who I won't ever really love and have some babies, maybe get married. And you, well you're in for another hundred and forty five years of pinning after a woman you "can't" have" she used air quotes around the word can't. She knew she was being horrible to him but he deserved it in her mind. He was stopping something that could have been amazing before it even began. Elena couldn't get over how quickly the situation had been reversed, a few weeks ago, she was the one holding them back, but now it was all on him.
Damon's head was spinning. He knew every word she said was right. He would spend a hell of a lot more than 145 years pinning for her, he would spend eternity. She said it would be easy to fall in love with him; that was enough to make his dead heart clench. He watched her as she threw herself on the bed, her hair fanning out across the comforter. She was stunning and she wasn't even trying. He made no attempt at speaking, he was too busy processing her words over again and forcing himself to stand away from her.
"I never picked you as a coward Damon. I mean, I understand why I'm scared of this, but you, you're sure in yourself, in your feelings but still you run away. Why was it easier to love her? Even when she didn't care about you" she desperately needed a reaction from him. His still stance in front of her was making her very edgy.
She was trying to get a rise out of him again but he focused on one part of her rambling, "why are you scared?"
"You scare the hell out of me. Not in the way that everyone else is scared of you, but your intensity when it comes to me is something I have never seen before. I'm scared of how I feel when I'm around you because I've never experienced anything like it before. I'm scared of what you do to me. I trust you with everything I am, but I'm scared because you won't let me."
Her words took his breath away. He had never expected it to play out this way; her confessions were shocking to say the least. He continued to stare at her, making no move to speak. Elena was fed up, "Well, I guess I'm gonna go. I'll stay at Bonnie's tonight. Let me know what all this thinking gets you" she murmured as she walked by him and out the door. She made it to her car in record time and realized where she was driving only after she pulled onto the dirt road. Minutes later, she was standing in front of the open tomb door looking into the blackness. She immediately started to laugh at what she saw as soon as she flicked on her flash light. Stefan was lying naked on the tomb floor, with Katherine contently wrapped around him equally nude. Stefan's head perked up at the sound of her laughter, "Elena?"
"Well, that happened faster than even I predicted. But then again, I guess Katherine does have a way about her. She's very persuasive when she wants to be. But wow, Stefan you've been getting around. First Rose now her" she sneered. But then took on a mock thoughtful expression, "Unless Damon was one sleeping with Rose, which if that's the case, then I'm the only one in the group not getting any. But I guess that can be remedied" now she just wanted to hurt him.
"Elena, I'm sorry" he whispered as he put on his pants and walked to the tomb entrance.
She shrugged, "Don't worry about it Stefan, you're single. Do whatever you want. I just came here to tell you thank you for what you did for Jeremy today. Bonnie is getting in touch with some witches so she can get you out."
Katherine stood in the back of the tomb, uncharacteristically quiet, letting them have their moment. "I also wanted to tell you that I am going to stop fighting my feelings for Damon. I'm falling in love with him Stefan, I thought you had a right to know" she stared at the ground in front of him, not wanting to see the hurt in his eyes.
He clenched his fists and stared at her, "Okay. Just do me a favor…Don't come to me when he destroys you. He may have gotten better but he will still get bored, just like any other person this old" he warned.
"Oh the double meaning" Katherine cooed from in the tomb.
"Yeah Stefan, just like you did? That's okay. I'll enjoy the time I have. Just like I did with you" she reasoned. He shook his head, "I never got bored with us. You pushed me away, remember?"
"Yeah but you never got over her. Where Damon harbored an obsession, you held love. That love will make or break you now" her words rang true for both situations.
"I could say the same to you" and with that, he turned his back and walked back into the darkness of his cage.
Without really deciding to, she got back in her car and drove home in a hazy mind frame. Quickly, as to not hear any movement or voices from Jenna's room, she went up to her room and turned on her CD player. She dropped her jacket to the floor, kicked on her shoes and discarded her shirt. She went to turn the light on in her bathroom when she caught a black figure out of the corner of her eye. Damon was sprawled across her queen sized bed with his shoes kicked off and her teddy bear sitting next to him.
"Looks like I have good timing tonight" he smirked, obviously enjoying the view of her in nothing but tight jeans and a black lace bra. She turned back around to mess with her stereo a little, her state of undress not really bugging her. After finding an appropriate song, she stared to shed her jeans, like she would if he hadn't arrived.
Her black lace boy shorts were not helping his situation that he was trying hard to keep under control. Obviously, it was her turn to not speak, so he continued to talk to her, "I heard what you said to Stefan. And yes, I was the one sleeping with Rose. She posed as a great distraction" she shrugged and opened her bathroom door; she turned the lights on and started the bath tub. "Did you mean what you said?" he blurted, "the part about falling in love with me?"
"Wasn't that obvious a couple of hours ago?" she uttered, she made no move to shut the bathroom door as she reached behind her back to unsnap her bra. He was up and in her personal space before she could reach the material. He leaned around her and turned off the running water in the bathtub. Damon reached for both of her hands and tangled his fingers with hers meaningfully. "You know that there's no going back from this right? I'm always gonna want you. I'm never gonna let you go" he explained.
She smiled up at him, "You promise?"