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Content Warning: Maki has a penis. If this offends you or makes you uncomfortable in any way, do not read. But if you're still with me, I hope you enjoy!
Author's Notes: If you've already found this fic on tumblr, then yes, I am the piece of trash who wrote it. I'm sorry, Jesus.
As every aspiring idol knows, the cardinal rule of success is to make people happy. Happiness leads to popularity, and popularity is what lands people contracts, gigs, connections.
This is where emotional sensitivity comes into play. Idols cannot expect to be successful if they do not understand others, their desires and fears, their likes and dislikes. Securing fame means knowing how to read people, how to gauge if they're really being honest of if they're just screwing with you. After all, people are complex: words can be deceitful—actions even more so—but simple observations of facial expressions and body language have taught Nico many things about how people behave. More specifically, how little gestures sometimes contradict what they say or do.
Case in point.
μ's is warming up for their performance in the empty theater hall when Maki cuts in suddenly mid-choreo of Wild Stars, right before having to lace hands with Nico during the second verse. "I'll be right back," she says, making a break for the stereo behind the backstage curtains before anyone can complain, shoes squeaking against the wood flooring, but Nico is quick enough to catch her by the wrist and tug her back.
"Don't bother," Nico says, trying to mask her annoyance. This isn't the first time this has happened this week, and she isn't dumb. 'I'll be right back' for the past week has meant 'I'm going to swing back right in the nick of time right before the performance,' but even her shifty behavior suggests that there's something more serious that she needs to take care of—something that she hasn't been willing to share. Nico ushers Maki toward the direction of the door, pushing against her back, and she doesn't miss the way Maki flinches from her touch. "I've got it. You go do your thing."
"T-Thanks," Maki stammers back, ducking her face and making a beeline to the stage exit. A rush of voices from the hallway filters in as the door opens, like the volume of a radio switching on, tuning into the private bubble of an idol management company: chatty girls shrieking about the relationship status of their favorite celebrities, managers shepherding their charges from one place to the next, stressed girls crying about the trials and tribulations of stardom.
When the door closes behind Maki, Nico jabs her finger on the stop button of the stereo, and all that's left in the stage is blissful silence and worried looks.
"I think that's the third time this week," Eli sighs, pulling out a towel to wipe off the sweat on her forehead. "Nico, do something. This is really interrupting our flow."
Nico rubs her temple, fighting the incoming headache of stress in the form of Maki Nishikino. "Why me."
"You know why," Eli says, and Nico has to bite her lip to stop herself from saying something stupid that would prove Eli right. "Now stop beating around the bush. Go." She waves her off, nodding toward the exit. "We can't afford to waste time like this. Our performance is in an hour."
Nico frowns. One hour. "Let's hope I get her back in time, then."
Tailing Maki is easy.
It helps that Maki turns heads wherever she goes, of course, with her being so attractive that it's hard not to notice her, but Nico likes to think of it as a sort of sixth sense now, a magnetic attraction that allows her to find Maki even in the sea of people bustling in the building, like a beacon guiding lost sailors. And surely enough, the moment Nico leaves the stage, she catches a flash of red hair in her periphery as it disappears from the end of the hallway.
Pulling her hood over her head and slipping on a pair of sunglasses, she weaves her way in and out of the crowds, sidestepping stage crew members hefting boxes full of microphones, dodging cameramen and journalists craning their necks to catch a good gossip story. If there's one thing she hadn't anticipated being resentful of as an idol, it's that there's hardly any privacy. No matter where you go, people will try and follow you, to learn about you more intimately than you're comfortable with. Even Maki's rush to escape rehearsal is sure to garner a few raised eyebrows and wild speculations. People must have noticed.
Nico is more careful, though. Years of going incognito back in her high school days have taught her one vital tenet to being discreet: if you want to stay under the radar, you have to make sure you're not noticed in the first place. But even as she keeps a good distance behind Maki, it's not a particularly difficult task to stay hidden. Maki hasn't even looked back once to check if anyone has followed her. What a dumbo.
They're heading into μ's territory now, Nico realizes, as the walls start to line with more promotional μ's fliers. So this is where she disappears to. When Maki rounds the corner, Nico stands on her tippy toes and peeks over the edge of the wall, watching as she enters the dressing room. The door clinks two times after: once for the handle lock, and twice for the deadbolt lock. Well, whatever Maki's up to, she certainly doesn't want to be interrupted, Nico thinks, narrowing her eyes.
"Too bad Maki isn't prepared to be busted by me," she murmurs to herself, reaching into her purse to retrieve the dressing room keys.
Nico isn't sure what she'd been expecting, but she certainly isn't prepared when she walks into a dimly-lit room with Maki screaming intruder and throwing a barrage of pillows at her.
"Alright, after that disaster," Nico begins, picking out a stray pillow feather from her hair and gesturing to the additional plumage lying on the dressing room floor, "I definitely at least deserve an answer to what the hell you've been up to."
"Didn't it occur to you that some people need a little bit of privacy?" Maki argues, twisting her body away from Nico and to the wall, hands clasping the edges of her skirt, shaky fingers pinching the fabric. Her voice is low, like she's afraid of people listening in on them, but what Nico is surprised by is how… not angry she sounds. Since leaving the stage to follow Maki, Nico's been rearing for another argument, but when she sees for the first time how red Maki's face is, the confrontational adrenaline drains from her veins and is replaced by an equal amount of embarrassment. The air feels different between them now, and Nico isn't sure if she likes it.
"What, I can't check to see if you're alright?" Nico retorts. "You're not doing drugs here, are you?"
Maki whips her head and looks at her incredulously. "No! Of course not!"
"Then—" Nico pauses, blinking, noticing how hard Maki's breathing has become. Her eyes are hazy, too, though that could arguably be because of the dim lighting in the room, but there's also the fact that the first two buttons of her shirt are left undone. What the hell. Nico purses her lips, feeling lead settle on her chest at the implications. "Are you bringing people over or something? Having a secret rendezvous?" Her eyes scan the room. "Where is—"
"No," Maki insists, finally turning around, grasping Nico's wrist. Her hands are warm and sweaty. "I'm not doing drugs, and I'm not having any secret rendezvous with anyone, okay?" Her tone turns pleading, and Nico's shoulders sag when she looks into Maki's eyes, realizing she's being sincere. Maki only ever avoids eye contact when she's trying to hide something, after all. "Please believe me," she whispers.
Nico averts her gaze first, prying Maki's hand off her before crossing her arms. "Fine. But you have got to tell me what's going on with you. Super Idol Nico Nii isn't going to just let her fellow members get involved in questionable activity."
"I'm fine, Nico," Maki says. "I—I just need a moment, alright? Give me—I don't know. Fifteen minutes." She nods. "Yeah, fifteen minutes should do."
"Look," Nico says, rolling her eyes. Honestly, for being so stubborn, Maki is atrociously bad at lying. "Both of us know that I wouldn't be pestering you about this if you were actually telling the truth. This has been going on for—what? An entire week? You, skipping out during the middle of practice. You, just disappearing an hour before our live is about to start and then showing up ten minutes right before—after we've all been panicking, calling your number a dozen times, and wondering where you were. So, I wanted to investigate."
Maki blinks. "That's why you followed me?"
"Of course!" Nico exclaims, annoyed that Maki is actually surprised at them caring. "It's fishy! Also, we're your teammates. If something is bothering you, then you should at least let someone know. It's not wise to carry burdens all by yourself. And if it affects you, then it affects the whole team. So yes, we're going to have to address this eventually, whether you like it or not."
"Nico," she says, looking down. Nico follows her gaze, finding that Maki has gone back to clutching her skirt, biting the inside of her cheek in the way she does when she's feeling guilty of something. "Really, it's fine."
Nico huffs. They've been friends for three years and Maki could still be so evasive about things. It's tiring, having things go unspoken between the two of them, but Nico's had enough. No better time to break down that barrier. "You know, Maki, it'd be nice if you could trust us," she says. She lowers her voice, knowing that Maki will lean in closer to listen. "Trust me at least. I don't know—you're just so…"
"I'm sorry."
The apology catches Nico off guard. Maki isn't normally the type to say sorry. She's the type who apologizes in thoughtful gifts and gestures given in an offhanded fashion but never directly—at least not to her. "Don't be sorry. I'm just worried, that's all. Everyone is. And as a senpai, I want to help you as best I can, but I can't do that if you don't let me in. At least a little bit. Super Idol Nico Nii isn't a mind reader, you know."
"I'm scared," Maki admits, voice trembling, and something in Nico's heart twists like a knife when she sees Maki on the verge of crying.
Nico tugs at the sleeves of Maki's hoodie and sits them both on the leather couch, pulling her into a hug. "Scared of what?"
"Of what you'd think," Maki mumbles. She buries her face into the crook of Nico's neck, and Nico can't help the surge of affection that rushes in her chest at being indulged like this. Maki hardly ever gets this close to her when they're in public. She smiles, threading her fingers through Maki's hair. What a baby.
"Try me," Nico challenges. Her other hand trails down to rub Maki's back in slow circles, hoping to ease the tension from her muscles, but if anything, Maki stiffens even more despite the lack of complaint. Nico stops. Ooookay. No aversion to snuggling but a definite ambivalence to being touched otherwise. Mixed signals.
"I don't think I really want to."
Nico sucks in a breath. They're finally alone together with no cameras or friends to interrupt them, so there's no way in hell that she's going to go this far and come out without an answer. "If I promise not to freak out, will you tell me?"
"Even if you promise that, there's no guarantee that you won't."
It's all Nico can do not to scream in frustration. "I swear, Maki. I'm freaking out more about the fact there's something important you're hiding."
"Still…"
"What?" Nico prompts, feeling her patience wear thin.
Maki withdraws from their hug and twirls a lock of her hair. "It's… embarrassing."
"Well, a lot of secrets tend to be that way, yeah."
"No," Maki insists, staring her down. "You really don't understand." The fire is back in her eyes, and though she's still being persistently evasive, at least she has some fight in her again. Nico has to stop herself from grinning or looking too excited. Now this is their element: arguing, one-upping each other.
Nico leans in close enough to smell her strawberry lip balm. "Make me understand, then," she says, trying to incite Maki into saying something—anything.
Maki's eyes harden. "I—" She gulps and breaks eye contact, and just as quickly as it had come, the fire is out an in instant. "I don't know."
Oh, come on. Time to try a different tactic, then. "Maki, listen, I know I don't say these things very often, but I hope that you know that we all care about you very, very much. You're an important member of our team, and we all want you to feel safe and welcome with us."
"Thank you," Maki says softly. "That means a lot."
"And… and I guess I was a little too aggressive about making you spill. So, sorry." Nico sighs, feeling the defeat settle in her bones as she glances over at the clock. Forty-five minutes left. "I guess—I don't know, we can drop it, or something. But feel free to tell me anytime, okay? I'm always here to listen." She pats her shoulder awkwardly; it's a stiff gesture compared to how they were cuddled up before, but Nico can't really bring herself to be very affectionate considering the circumstances, being rebuffed again and again. "I mean, if not me, then maybe Nozomi—"
"Wait—Nico."
Her heart catches in her throat. "Hm?"
"I—I want to tell you," Maki says, biting her lower lip. "And only you."
No way, no way, no way. Her hands start jittering, and she has to stuff them in her pockets before Maki notices how nervous she is. She holds her breath. Maki's actually going to open up to her. "Okay."
"I, uh… It's just—well. I'm—" Maki's mouth opens and closes as the words stumble out, but the way her voice shakes tells Nico that she's way too nervous to be saying anything at all.
"Hold on, hold on," Nico interrupts, putting both hands on Maki's hunched shoulders and squeezing away at the tightness of her muscles. This time, Maki doesn't shy away from her touch. "Close your eyes, take a deep breath," she continues, watching Maki inhale and pinch her eyes shut. Still way too tense, though. Nico smooths out the wrinkles around her brows with the tips of her fingers. "Relax," she whispers. "Now, let it go."
Maki exhales and opens her eyes. "Okay," she says.
"Okay?"
"Yes." Maki curls her hands into fists, setting them on her lap. "Nico, I'm… not normal."
Nico laughs. Not normal, she says, as if Nico doesn't know that already. "Is anyone?"
"What I'm trying to say is—um. I have an… unusual condition."
"Please don't tell me you have some terminal illness."
"No, no. I…"
Nico exhales. "Phew."
"I have a penis."
Record scratch. "What."
"I have a penis," Maki repeats, shrinking back, brushing off Nico's hand on her shoulder and turning away. She covers her face with her hand, but that isn't enough to hide her rising blush from Nico. Dear lord, Maki's being serious, she realizes, crossing her legs.
"Oh," she says.
"Oh?"
"Yeah. Oh."
Maki frowns. "That's it?"
"What, were you expecting a bigger reaction?"
"Something like that… You're not mad? Disgusted?"
"Why would I be?"
"I don't know—I'm a girl, and I have a penis. Isn't that weird?"
"But you're still you, right?"
"I—yes. I am."
"Then what's the problem?"
"Well—"
"Well, then whatever," Nico says, stomping the floor, suddenly feeling angry that Maki would think less of herself just because of something like this. Lack of confidence, as cute as it is sometimes, has no place with someone like Maki Nishikino. "Who cares. Honestly, who cares? It doesn't change who you are, and it doesn't change what I think of you."
"Really?"
"W-Well," Nico stutters, shifting her legs again, catching the way Maki looks at them, mouth dropping the slightest bit as though an epiphany has finally hit her. Good. Maybe they're on the same page. "I mean, it doesn't negatively change what I think about you, at least."
"So," Maki starts tentatively, eyes dilating, "did it change positively?"
Yup. Definitely on the same page—finally. Nico hums, sidling closer to Maki, taking satisfaction in the low gasp that the other girl lets out when she puts a hand on her thigh. "Well, let's just say that everything actually makes sense now—you suddenly running away from all the Wild Stars rehearsals to come here, to dim the lights. I thought it was weird at first, but now I get it." Experimentally, she runs her index finger along Maki's inner thigh, edging painfully close to her center, watching her reaction carefully to make sure she doesn't cross a line.
Maki sucks in a sharp breath, but she doesn't pull away. Instead, she grinds her hips closer, and even through the barrier of her skirt, Nico can still feel the distinct pulse of her heat. A rush of warmth travels to the pit of Nico's belly. Maki's so needy.
"So, the reason why you've been skipping out on rehearsal…" Nico hooks Maki's hair behind her ear before leaning in, gently nibbling on her lobe and whispering, "Was it because you needed to jerk off?"
Maki's breath grows fast and shallow despite her deer-caught-in-headlights look. It's enough to make Nico want to tease her, so she withdraws her hand from Maki's thigh.
"Nico," Maki groans, pouting.
Nico grins wickedly, putting placing her chin atop her hands. "I'm not doing anything until you admit it to me," she says, sing-song. "The reason why you always shied away from my touch during rehearsal this week is because you're weak and you got horny from us having to hold hands in Wild Stars. Am I right?"
Maki sputters. "Nico!"
Nico checks the clock. "Maki," she urges, "we have thirty minutes left, and I don't know about you, but I'd really hate to end this note on ambiguity and unanswered questions again. Anyway, it's not like it hasn't been a long time coming, even without you telling your secret to me. I need to hear you say it."
Maki frowns and turns her head. Her fingers drum idly against the arm of the sofa, and her eyebrows knit together in the way it does when she's deep in thought. Damn it. Being too forward again—
"You know," Maki says, interrupting her train of thought, taking Nico's hand into hers, "there's a reason why I always turned away from you. I don't hate you, Nico—I hope you know that. But I was always afraid of you finding out because—well, what if I couldn't hold myself back? I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I hurt you, and I'd never want to force my feelings on you. I want you, Nico. A lot. And that scares me."
Her heart is pounding so crazy that she's almost certain that it'd fracture her ribcage, but Nico squelches down her nerves anyway, swallowing back the air she's forgotten to breathe for the past thirty seconds. "Do you love me?" she asks, liking the way that Maki's hand shakes against hers. They're both nervous. That makes her happy.
"For the longest time."
Nico places her finger on Maki's lips, shushing her. "Then you can have me," she says, flipping around to straddle her, leaning down to replace her finger with her mouth. Maki is quick to respond, kissing her back roughly and reverently, as though she's drinking from an oasis after a long period of drought, and it's not long before Nico decides to deepen their kiss, swiping her tongue against Maki's bottom lip, tasting strawberry. She grinds her center against Maki's, feeling her gasp against her mouth, and she can't help but cry out when Maki's hardness twitches against her.
It's strange, Nico thinks. She's imagined their first time to go so many other ways—angry jealous sex, or maybe a regrettable night involving too many alcoholic drinks, but she's never dared imagine them go straight to sweet lovemaking after a romantic, heartfelt confession. It's just always seemed too good to be true—until now, at least, now that it's becoming reality.
"Nico," Maki gasps, grabbing her hips. "You're soaking through my skirt."
"Do you like that?" Nico asks, tilting her head back and picking up her pace, wanting to feel more, getting off on Maki's moans, her facial expressions—everything about her.
"Yessss," she hisses, thrusting back, angling her cock so that it brushes against Nico's clit over and over again. "I love the way you feel."
"Me, too." Private as their dressing room may be, Nico's sure that if she allowed herself to make as much noise as she wanted, she'd alert the whole security team, so she kisses Maki extra hard, letting their mouths muffle each other. Eventually, though, the friction of clothing barriers starts to get to her, so she withdraws.
"Nico? What's wrong? Did I—"
"It's not enough," Nico rasps. The instant she lifts her hips, Maki's grinds needily against the empty air, whining at the loss. "I want to feel you directly, Maki." She lifts up Maki's skirt and hooks her fingers on the waistband of her panties, hoping that it's enough to signal her intentions. "Is that okay?"
"Please," Maki begs, and Nico wastes no time flinging both of their panties to the other side of the room. When Nico settles back down again, she feels the difference immediately: the little ridges of Maki's head bumping against her clit, the intense heat of her cock pulsing against her labia.
"Maki," she whimpers, feeling a tightening in her belly, applying more pressure, desperately wanting—needing—to be sent over the edge. "I'm coming, I'm coming—"
"Nico!"
The mutual orgasm is messier than Nico expects it to be. When Maki shoots her load, it lands in multiple spurts across both their shirts and across the couch, and as though the daunting cleanup duty serves as a reminder of what little time they actually have to tidy up, Nico whips her head to look at the clock and pales.
"Shit, I was so into it that I forgot to use a tissue," Maki says, still oblivious.
"Fuck, Maki, we have literally fifteen minutes to get ready and to wipe this all clean before we perform. Nico Nii is a super idol, not a super human, so we better get our asses in gear and work. Fast."
"Oh. Oops."
"Oops is right." She can't help but smirk at Maki, though, even as she's rushing to the sink to soak a load of hand towels. "Maybe we can have a more relaxed round two after our concert."
Maki grins back at her, a light blush still colored on her cheeks, but because Nico's a filthy pervert, her eyes stray to the penis dangling between her legs, now limp but bare for her to see. It's a nice sight, seeing Maki more comfortable in her own skin now, considering her previous apprehensions just moments before. All thanks to her, too. Truly, the powers of Super Idol Nico Nii are unrivaled.
"Don't think you can top me again, though," Maki shoots back as Nico passes her a towel.
"Oh yeah?" Nico places her hands on her hips. "You want top? You have to fight me for it."
Maki sticks out her tongue. "We'll see, then."
"I love you, too."