She held his hand harder as if to ease the pain, the guilt that drilled through her mind each and every day

She held his hand harder as if to ease the pain of the guilt that drilled through her mind each and every day. Edward tensed as her grip tightened and she felt the tears run down her softly blushed pink cheeks, Edward moved in quickly whipping the tears from Bella's burning cheeks.

"Its ok darling" he whispered softly in her ear. Although Edward soothing words usually made her feel a whole lot better, she knew this time that things weren't ok. Jacob Black had been missing for over a month; his departure from La push, Bella knew was because of her and Edward. It was so hard for Bella without him there, living with the guilt of breaking his heart. Bella struggled to pull herself together as she felt annoyed at herself for always pulling Edward into her own problems. The two lay quietly for a moment, before Edward tensed up and turned to face Bella. He was fighting the thoughts over in his head, they were distressing him Bella could see that.

"Bella, a lot of things have happened to you because of me, I've so frequently put you in danger, sometimes worse than physical dangers Bella, there's things that you've seen that no other human would normally be able to cope with…Bella if you think all this pain, all this torture you're putting yourself through, think if it wasn't for me, none of it would have ever happened…!"

Edward looked away from Bella unable to look at her in the eyes,

"what Edward you can seriously think that I would have been better of without you…" Bella's voice turned to almost a high-pitched squeal by the end of her sentence.

"Edward I seriously do not know…how you can…how you can even think that," she stammered through her sentence the tears slowly running down her cheeks.

"I love you so much Edward, it hurts me to think about you ever not meeting me. Its hard for me right now really it is to stop worrying about Jacob, but I know that when I made the decision over you or Jake…really there wasn't even a choice it was made for me."

Bella stopped before taking a deep breath,

"you see, I already knew who I couldn't live without." She whispered softly.

Edward didn't smile, he simply looked deep into her eyes,

"And although selfish as I was, I knew the 1st second I saw you I could never live without you!" Bella smiled putting her head against Edward freezing chest, she shivered as he held her in his arms, and Edward wrapped the duvet around her and began humming her lullaby. Bella's mind tried to wander but her lack of sleep from the past few nights and the soft voice of Edward took over and soon enough she was fast asleep.

Edward lay next to Bella, his arms still wrapped around her. He closed his eyes for a moment then opened them widely the shock and horror on his face from what he had just heard made him swiftly move over to the window, gracefully jumping down from the ledge, he landed on the ground.

Looking in horror at the boy who stood before him.

"Jacob!"

Edward stood motionlessly looking in disbelief at the boy who stood so calmly in front of him. Jacob looked almost lost stood there, his whole body feeble, his face just a blur of tiredness, regret and pure pain.

"is there something you want?" asked Edward in almost a growl.

Jacob didn't answer he knew exactly what Edward was doing at that moment, searching in his mind.

"Jacob, I don't think I quite understand what you want… your thoughts are crossed…I can only guess what your asking of me."

Edward cringed at the thought.

"and I'm afraid if that's what your asking me Jacob… no."

Jacob starred at Edward with hate filled eyes.

"why…Edward I always thought you would be the first to want to finish me off… get me out of the equation once and for all…"

"oh Jacob you know I would gladly kill you here and now… for all the pain you have put Bella through. But I am not going to be selfish, Bella loves you and I see that."

Jacob struggled to cope with the talk of Bella and love.

"Edward you do not understand this, you can not see how every moment of every day is spent thinking about her… no other thoughts pass through my mind only ones of Bella."

"I'm sorry" Edward looked away from Jacob not able to look him straight in the eyes he knew exactly what Jacob was going through.

"what…don't apologise Edward she chose you…Bella loves you more than she could love anyone…I never even had a chance!" he smirked spitefully at Edward.

"Really Edward you have no fight in this situation, if you remember you were the one that tried to kill yourself, you couldn't live without her!"

"Jacob you have to realise that, that was different…"

"how because you thought Bella was dead!"

"Well…"

"Bella is dead to me, and I wont be here to witness the day you do really kill her Cullen… the day she becomes a bloodsucker just like you!"

Edward growled a long harsh sound that echoed, she shook his head as if fighting with the temptation.

"Kill me Edward…" Jacob smiled and laughed psychotically, before turning towards the dark trees, he walked away swiftly stopping once and turning to look at Edward.

Before long Edward was stood alone, silently he jumped back up to Bella's room there she lay silently. Edward lay down next to her running his fingers through her long brown hair, he placed his head on the pillow and starred mindlessly at the ceiling, thinking over all the things that Jacob had said…