Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, okay? I'm sick of writing this. Kishimoto owns it, blah blah blah. Get the picture? You'd better…Oh! And I don't own Flintstone Vitamins either 8D
Ah, yes. The 'Fountain of Youth' incident. I remember it like it was yesterday…even though it was last week…anyway, on to the story. -.-
I was watching my huge flat screen TV in my summer condo in California. It's nice and cozy and pretty basic. You know, a hot tub, a whirlpool bathtub, two bedrooms, a TV in every room, and every videogame known to man and a couple known only to cows. (Don't tell them I told you, though.)
Where was I? Oh yeah. Lee rudely burst through my door. "Hello, Neji! Are you having a wonderful day?!"
"…No," I went back to watching American Idol.
"Well, that is not good!" Lee said looking like his pet beaver had just died. But he was over it right away. "OH! I was sent here to ask you if you would join me and Lord Gai on a manly trip of manly-ness!"
"Okay, two things. One: since when is he 'Lord Gai'?"
"Lord Gai will always rule over us all fairly with his youthful-ness!" Lee made a retarded super hero like pose and sparkles flew around him.
I shook my head. "Yeah. Okay. Whatever. Two: what's this trip all about now?"
"We are going to go and find the Fountain of Youth!" Gai Sensei randomly appeared in front of us.
"OH MY GOODNESS! LORD GAI! WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?!" Lee looked at Gai Sensei in awe.
"I just got here, Lee. And I'm not going to tell you again, stop calling me Lord Gai…it makes me feel un-youthful…"
"I am sorry, Gai Sensei!" Lee looked up at him with extremely sad eyes.
Gai Sensei ignored him and turned to me. "So, how 'bout it, Neji? Come with us on our manly trip of manly youth-ness…?"
"As long as you don't, like, rape me or anything…" I sighed. Hey, I don't trust them, okay?
Gai Sensei pulled out a map. "Okay, so we're going to travel through the evil city of LA. Then, we're going to go through a dark forest I've heard the Akatsuki is hiding out in. Next, we're heading out to the ocean to Florida and we're sailing towards the Fountain of Youth!" Gai Sensei did the 'nice guy' pose and, of course, so did Lee.
I thought about this for a minute. "Why can't we just take a plane?"
Gai Sensei scoffed. "Neji, a plane is neither manly or youthful! We have to travel with only our wits and a pocket knife to be a real man!"
"All I want is to be a real alive man," I said. How the fuck were we going to survive with just a pocketknife and my wits? (Trust me, neither Gai Sensei or Lee has any. I'm sure of it. And yes, that was kind of a gay joke somehow…SOMEHOW… )
Gai Sensei of course ignored me. "We head out tomorrow at dawn! Be there, Neji, or be a lonely youth with nothing to live for but a TV set and a computer…poverty…"
When he said that, for some reason, I thought of my father…weird. -.-