Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or the characters

Title: Fight

We had a fight. We'd had fights before and we always made up but this time that wont happen, he left and isn't coming back its not that he doesn't want to he cant he cant come back, its impossible for him to come back he's gone and that's that.

The last thing I said as he walked out that door was "I hate you" I didn't mean it I could never hate him. I can't remember how it started or what the fight was about but it ended with him walking out that door driving away only to be hit by a car that sped through the red light, Mello died on impact just like that he was gone and I wasn't able to tell him I was sorry.

I saw the crash from the apartment doorway and ran as fast as I could to where Mello landed after being thrown off his motorcycle, I wouldn't let myself believe he was dead, I wanted him to be alive when I got to him but no I wasn't that lucky, when I sat next to him and held him in my arms he was already gone

I sat on the couch and looked around the apartment it seemed so empty without Mello, it was so quiet it used to be filled with the sound of my games and Mello eating his chocolate, but now those sounds were gone, without Mello I wasn't in the mood to play games anymore.

L stops by twice a week to check on me, make sure I don't do something stupid like try to kill myself, I've thought about it but I know that Mello wouldn't want that so I never did. I've taken out a knife put it on the table and stared at it for an hour but never used it.

L took away all the knifes in the apartment after he cot me holding one, I wasn't going to use it but he wouldn't listen to me, he said that the way I was looking at it told him otherwise. I know he's just worried about me if I really wanted to kill myself a knife wasn't my only option I knew where Mello kept his guns.

A year has passed sense that day, the day I lost my only love, the only one by my side, the only one who always came back to me, I never thought I could live without him and I was right. I was alive but not at the same time I couldn't, eat I couldn't sleep, and I couldn't speak a word to anyone. No matter how hard they tried to reach me, I said nothing I was hollow, empty, I had nothing.

As time passed I lost myself, I lost myself in despair everyone worried about me but there was nothing they could do they couldn't being my Mello back, all they could do was watch me slip further and further into darkness.

After a week of doing nothing I decided it was time I got out of the apartment but I never made it to the door I collapsed three feet away L found me when he came to check on me I could here him he was panicking he was begging me not to die telling me to open my eyes but I didn't have the will to do so.

I asked myself, if I had the choice between opening my eyes and live or letting myself die would choosing to die be the same as killing myself, at that moment I had that choice to live or to die, to see Mello again or to live without him, after trying to live without him my choice was made long ago, I wanted to see him, tell him I'm sorry, that I could never hate him.

it was decided I'm not going to wake up I wont live without Mello I can't, even if my hart is still beating I'm just an empty shell without him, I think even if letting myself die is the same as killing myself Mello wouldn't care he wouldn't want me to suffer. At the moment of that last thought I woke up well it seemed like I did, when I opened my eyes it wasn't L I saw it was my beloved blond my Mello.

A/N: my first tragedy I hope its good it made me sad I know a tragedy isn't suppose to end on happy note but I couldn't help it