AN: I own nothing, not one thing. My friend Skargasm owns Donovan, she made him up. Italics are Angelus' answers.
Warning: There is so swearing and lewd behavior, I mean come on it's Angelus.
My name is Donovan Kane and I work for Wolfram and Hart. We're privileged this evening to be able to interview a vampire that is renown throughout the globe and feared pretty much everywhere including hell, Angelus from the Aurelius Clan. Angelus, thank you so much for agreeing to the interview and not killing me. Straight into the questions – moonlight is burning after all.
One question everyone wants the answer to is : what was it like for you when the soul was in control? Were you conscious or the mystical equivalent to 'sedated'?
Oh I was conscious, every waking friggin moment the great Poofter was doing his good deeds. Although I did appreciate when he was trying to kill Darla and Dru, too bad he wasn't very good at it...*huffs* Asshole.
What do you say to people who think that the first time you escaped from the soul, you should have killed the slayer and not 'played' so many games? That perhaps if you had done that, you wouldn't have been resouled by the witch, Willow Rosenberg?
I was right in the so called 'games' I played, to destroy someone so thoroughly you have to love them. Angel loved her and in my own way I guess I did too, but it was a pleasure to destroy something so good. And Willow, (leers suggestively) wonder if she's red all over...
Is it true that you and Spike had a sexual relationship?
William the Bloody...*seems lost in thought* Now I will never openly admit to saying this, even under the threat of Holy water, even if you tape this and play it for the bleached wonder...*sighs* But...I wish I hadn't been so cruel to him, I only wanted him to be strong...
That's not what I asked...*Angelus vamps and growls* Okay Okay...uh...
(Angelus waves his hand) Yes I did, we did, we all did. The four us fucked like rabbits, is that what you wanted to hear? That I used to bend William over any available surface and fucked him till he bled, or that I held him and loved him? (Donovan's eyes are wide as he watches Angelus breath hard, lost in thought)
What was it like being part of the Scourge of Europe and what do you say to those who say that your hey-day has passed and that you are old news?
I wasn't part of the Scourge of Europe, I was the Scourge of Europe. The others were just along for the ride. And as for the nay-sayers, I ate them for breakfast. (Grins like a maniac)
How did you feel when your souled counterpart, Angel, staked your sire Darla?
I had no feelings for Darla, after she kicked Angel out after he got his soul for the first time, she lost any goodness in my eyes. I was glad the bitch died. She promised me we would be together forever and she kicks me out because I developed a case of Soul Herpes? Bitch.
How did you feel about Angel's relationship with the Slayer, Elizabeth Summers?
He needed to get laid, plain and simple. He wanted me drowned out, he wanted puppies and kittens with Barry friggin Manilow playing in the background. He was trying to get rid of me. Now if he would have picked one Alexander Harris...*purrs*
What are your views on the mystical key turning out to be hidden right under everyone's noses in the form of the Slayer's sister?
Bloody brilliant! Couldn't ask for a better kick in the slats for Cunty and her friends.
Why do you really think Buffy chose Spike and not Angel to wear the medallion against the First?
Like I told him when it happened, she never really believed in him, because his soul was a curse, Spike's was a choice. And again I will never admit to saying this, but that made him the better wear-ee.
What do you say to those who argue that many serial killers have souls, and why does it make so much difference to you?
They do, we do, the soul is there in everyone, but whether or not it's used for good, is 50% fate and 50% part of the person. Angel was more like me then he would ever admit, that's why there was those slip ups...God I loved those. (Wistful look appears on Angelus' face)
Is it true that you and the Master were intimate before you struck out on your own?
(dry heaves and coughs) Old bat face, wanted all three of us to be, Darla him and I. I tried to get out of it every time and only sleep with them when I absolutely had too. I loved beautiful things and he was not.
Were you proud of what you achieved with your torturing of Drusilla?
She will always be my greatest creation and it wasn't torturing it was conditioning. That and I loved giving God the stiff middle finger by killing and taking one of his most devoted servants.
Do you wish you had the Gem of Amara, and if you had it what would you do?
What Vampire in their right mind wouldn't want that ring? I would be unstoppable, I would kill Buffy and every single one of her friends and family and make her watch while I did it...and maybe get a tan...I am so white.
What do you say to those who think that your plan to open Hell on earth is short-sighted, especially as humans are your food-source?
Apparently they didn't think it through like I did. Of course Hell itself would be unleashed but not all the humans would die, we would catch them, and by we I mean my minions.
Did you ever have a sexual relationship with the dark slayer, Faith Lehane?
Now there is a true Slayer, fucking gorgeous. (eyes flash yellow) But no I did not, she loved the Poof more then anything, she couldn't stand me, but I think with time...
Did Connor accept you as his father without the soul? God that little brat? I would hope not, I would stake myself. Annoying little fuck he was.
Are you proud of Spike, or what he became after you were cursed?
Now there is my true son. I couldn't have been happier, he is and was a legend.
If you had the chance, would you turn Lindsey MacDonald?
If I did it would be to just torture him, he is so god damn annoying, always bitching about something. Always whining about how life wasn't treating him right and how it wasn't fair. I would have rather listened to Angel singing Barry Manilow for all of eternity then spend it with him.
Are you gay, straight or bisexual?
As long as you're hung or got a tight ass or pussy, I don't care. (winks at Donovan)
Do you know who Jack the Ripper was?
Yes I did. In fact I taught him everything he knows.
Finally, if you had the chance to reform the Scourge of Europe, who would you choose as your childer?
That's easy, Alexander, he has such promise to become a great Vampire. And of course I would yank William's soul out and return him to his former glory. The three of us would be feared all over the world.
(shuffles papers nervously) Thanks Mr. Aurelius for this rare opportunity. (Angelus nods and the shamans whisper a short incantation, Angel's soul his restored)