Off Limits
Chiaki... I stare at him and Hatori as they walk hand in hand on the other side of the street. I can't help but picture myself with him instead of Hatori. I know what Hatori did to him, and I don't understand why he still stays with him, acting happy and talking like everything's fine. Like nothing happened. I'd treat him right, deep inside he knows that, he knows he should be with me but he's just too stupid and naïve to know what he really wants. And he's scared...he's scared to talk about what happened. He'll avoid it in conversation all the time. They pass by and I want to call out to him, or to run over and snatch him up in my arms and carry him home, to safety. But I don't. My throat dries up and I feel sick as I think about what's gonna happen when they get back to Hatori's apartment. I shudder and walk in the opposite direction to my own home, sadly.
Chiaki... I reminisce on the times I had together with him, when Hatori wasn't around. Middle school. We've been friends ever since then, and I've loved him since then. He got the dream job he wanted, and even though I didn't really get mine? I'm glad I can work with him, and be with him more than Hatori is. I eventually reach home, and flip through my drawings of him in various positions. My heart races at how detailed and perfect they are, like I've just stuck him into the paper and he's mine forever. I take my usual seat and sigh, glugging down a small beer before heading to bed. My stomach growls but I ignore it, I'm too focused on Chiaki to eat anything. I know it's stupid to be so hooked on him like this, that I should try and find someone else, but I can't. Chiaki's the only one I'll ever love. Nothing will change that.
The next day I make my way to work with him and stop to see Ritsu and Kisa walking together across the road, Kisa hung on Ritsu's arm and a content smile on his face. Chiaki chuckles softly at seeing the two together and being so open about it. They recently got together and Kisa had announced it in a whining tone at the party we had to attend a few weeks ago. I sigh deeply and keep walking, Chiaki on my heels.
"Yuu? What's wrong?"
"Nothing" It's not like it'd matter if I told him or not. He has Hatori, that's all that matters to him.
"Yuu, tell me!"
"I told you it's nothing!" I growl and immediately walk faster, guilty of my tone. I can hear his footsteps following quickly, his hand grasps my wrist and I stop.
"You want to be like them, don't you?" Dammit. It was do obvious wasn't it? "Yuu...I-"
"Shut up Chiaki! Just go find Hatori and have your life with him!" I yanked my arm away and ran into our work building.
I ignored Chiaki the whole time until it was time to go home. I grabbed my stuff and walked out without a word, ignoring him calling my name. I clenched my jaw together and narrowed my eyes, I had to get home. I eventually got out of the building and raced home quick as I could.
I slammed the door and dumped my stuff in the hall. I again, sat in my usual seat and scanned through the drawings. Tears came to my eyes and I slapped the book down on the table, brought my knees to my chest and cried silently. I wanted Chiaki to be mine...
I hadn't realised I'd cried myself to sleep until I felt myself being shaken awake. I blinked and shuts my eyes as someone ran their thumbs under my eyes to rid of my tears.
"Yuu..."
Oh no. Not him. I forgot I'd given Chiaki a spare key to my place! I lift my head but refuse to look at him. His hand strokes my cheek and I feel him headbutt my shoulder as he leans against me. My throat dries up at the comforting warmth that radiates off his body onto mine. The muscles in my arm twitch as I resist the urge to put my arm round him and hold him close to me.
"Yuu...I left Hatori..."
What...? W-Why would he do that?! "Why...?"
He looks at me and nudges his way under my arm. I can't help but bring him close to me and hold him there. Part of me thinks I'm dreaming, this is what I've wanted all along! But most of me knows it's real, knows it won't end. That he can be mine at last...
"He did it again Yuu...I told him you knew about the first time but that just made him angrier and he did it again... I'm scared of him Yuu..."
"Ch...Chiaki..."
"Can I stay here with you?"
"Yoshino, you can stay with me forever..." I kissed his head as he wrapped his arms round my waist. "I'll protect you..."
"Yuu...I was wrong...you are good enough for me..."