-sigh- I know, I need to work on Katara and Bring Me to Life...I needed an outlet for my insane randomness. I'm warning you, this story is weird...It's basically anything that comes off the top of my head...anyways...enjoy! Oh yeah...
I don't own the following: Dane Cook, Kingdom Hearts, or Wal-Mart...-cries-
Pssst...read and review please!
"WHERE IS MY COFFEE!?" Xemnas yelled through the halls of The World That Never Was.
"OH MY GOD! WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!" Demyx squealed, running from the white haired man, eventually falling down the stairs and right on top of Zexion. The poor boy was crushed by Demyx's body.
"They are gay! I knew it!" Axel screamed, causing the rest of the inhabitants to come out of their rooms. Xigbar looked as if he was going to cry.
"As if!" Xigbar cried, running to his room. Yes, he was literally crying.
"Hey remember that one time at that one party on that one holiday?" Lexaeus said stupidly. Saïx gave him a stare.
"What party on what holiday?" He was going to strangle this idiot. How Lexaeus was higher ranking than him, Saïx did not know.
"Uh...uh...the holiday that...uh...JESUSMAS!"
"You mean Christmas?" Demyx asked, letting Zexion breathe.
"YEAH! IT WAS SO FUNNY! YOU LIKE KISSED ZEXION AND HE BLUSHED AND XIGBAR CRIED AND XEMNAS KNOCKED OVER THE JESUSMAS TREE AND --" Poor Lexaeus couldn't finish. It was exactly five 'o clock, his naptime. So he collapsed and curled up into a sleeping...rock...
"That was weird,"
"Yeah..."
"WHERE THE HELL IS MY DAMN COFFEE!?"
"AAAAAAAIEEEEEEEEEE!" Demyx ran into his room, the scared Zexion following him. Before Zexion could get in, Demyx had slammed the door, causing Zexion to crash into it.
"How should I know, you hide all the coffee..." Saïx glared at his superior.
"That's because Demyx drinks it and then...well we all know what happens when Demyx drinks coffee,"
"So go make yourself some coffee..."
"Bite me," Saïx then began growling like a dog, he had gone berserk.
"Oh shit..." Xemnas ran away screaming like a young girl.
"OHMYGOD! AREWEGOINGTOWAL-MART! PLEASETELLMEWE'REGOINGTOWAL-MART! IWANNAGOTOWAL-MART!" Roxas could hardly contain his energy.
"Why you!? Out of all the people in this damn castle, WHY YOU!? This is something I'd expect from Demyx, NOT YOU!" Saïx's eye twitched.
"Yeah, dude! We're going to Wal-Mart!" Xigbar cheered.
"OH MY GOD! IT'S ALZHIEMER'S MAN!" Roxas pointed to the older Nobody and screamed.
"What the hell?" Xigbar asked, totally lost.
"He thinks you have Alzhiemer's...and that you only have a week to live," Saïx explained, drinking more of his peach tea.
"Hey guys! Wanna hear something funny?" Demyx asked, skipping into the room.
"Oh God...more of Demyx's comedy..." Saïx sighed. So the rest of the Organization was summoned to the living room. Now Demyx's story begins...
"So I'm hangin' out with all my buddies and um, I realized something. I realized something. Think of the group of people you known the longest in your life. Think of the group of friends you've hung out with the most. Maybe you're all here tonight. And this is what I've realized, I had an epiphany and here it is right here. There is one person in every group of friends that nobody effing likes. You basically keep them there to hate their guts. When that person is not around the rest of your little base camp, your hobby is cutting that person down. Example: Naminè is always a douche bag. Every group has a Naminè and she's ALWAYS a bag of douche! And when she's not around you just look at each other and go,
'GOD, Naminè! She's such a douche bag!' Until she walks up and then you're like,
'Hey what's up Nami? Naaaami, what's up Nami?' There's always that one person and I'm looking out and some of you guys are like,
'Huuuuum I disagree.' Well you're the person! You're the person nobody likes! I know...it is so true and that's why it's funny. It is so true...that's why it's funny. Because it's so true, hence, funny.
Your whole life that person's been there, too. Right? That's how Xaldin is in our group. Nobody likes Xaldin. Yet everywhere we go Xaldin would show up, even if we didn't tell him where we were going. We would go someplace and he would do that 'I just found you' run.
'Hahahaha! Hey guysss! What's up guuuuysss?' And one of us would always see him and warn the rest of the group. We'd be like,
'Effing Xaldin's coming,'
'What?'
'Effing Xaldin is coming!' That's his name Effing Xaldin's Coming. I heard a rumor when he was born even the doctors said,
'Psst, effing Xaldin is coming. Let's get this demon seed outta here.' That's what I'm saying. Quote, unquote. And you can quote me on the 'quote, unquote'." The rest of the Organization stared at the blonde until Zexion finally burst out in insane laughter.
"Demyx, that's true!" Naminè shouted. "I am not a douche bag...am I?"
No one said a word.
"AM I!?"
Not a word.
"FINE!" She ran off crying.
"That Naminè lass, she's such a douche bag," Luxord said in the silence. Everyone began laughing...that is until Xemnas shouted,
"GIVE ME MY DAMN COFFEE!" Once again Demyx screamed like a small child and ran into his room. Saïx slapped his forehead, wondering why he was surrounded by such idiots.
"...are we going to Wal-Mart...?" Roxas asked quietly.
"Later, young grasshopper, later," Xemnas whispered.
"That was weird..." Said Vexen.
"OHMAHGAWD!" Roxas shouted. "You're old!" He whispered to Vexen and skipped off singing about Wal-Mart.
Sooooo, didja like it? I'm working on the next chapter now! Yay! I hope I can keep this one going! Thanks for reading!