Disclaimer: Really only this little scramble of plot is mine, which sucks, because I'm a big fan of Chris Colfer and his voice. And I'd rather not start to ramble about Darren Criss, because that would be really unbecoming. Oh and Coma White belongs to Marilyn Manson.
Title: Coma White
Author: Lilith Duvare
Ratings: T
Characters: Wes, Blaine, Kurt, mentions of David
Genre: Angst, Drama, General
Warnings: itsy-bitsy pre-Slash, teenage angst (lots of it), unrecognized love and jealousy, broken hearts, boy crying
Pairing: Wes/Kurt (if you squint), unrequited Kurt/Blaine
Summary: Wes was the Head of the Warblers, always reserved and perfect, someone worth to follow. Then along came Kurt Hummel and the perfect world shattered around him.
A/N: This is my first Glee fanfiction and there are two HP/Glee stories in the oven, which are actually multi chaptered ones. I hope you'll like this even though this isn't like any of the other I've read before and merely was born because there is no stories about Wes or David which I'm really pissed about, so please write stories about them! Preferably paired with each other, even if they say they are straight... Thanks
Coma White
Wes did not know what to make out of Kurt Hummel the endearingly abysmal spy turned new kid at first. He seemed overly enthusiastic and ready to turn things upside down at Dalton regardless of the centuries old traditions and routine that was embedded into the student body. The younger boy was shining and had such an attitude that, while adorable, was simply unacceptable at the academy.
It didn't matter that Kurt had a truly magnificent voice, that bewitched all of them while he sang Don't Cry For Me Argentina, because Kurt was new and Wes couldn't give him the solo as per the ridiculously strict and uptight policy of the Warblers. He had to act like an arrogant asshole, who had a ten feet pole stuck up his ass and leave Blaine the task of telling their newest member the bad news. Blaine who Kurt was so obviously smitten with.
Maybe he should have realized the signs back then.
But he didn't, and only watched from afar as Kurt became more and more ensnared by Blaine's charms, which while completely platonic in reality, was anything but on the surface to anyone who didn't know the lead singer. However, Wes knew him; they were close friends which gave him an insight of the other's personality, the ridiculous chivalry that in reality came from selfishness and the need to feel useful. Blaine basked in the role of the wise and all-knowing mentor, soaking up the adoration and vulnerability of Kurt thus strengthening his own weaknesses and twisted, broken heart, and for this Wes couldn't help but resent his friend, because he could see what this was doing to Kurt even though he didn't understand his own need to look after the boy.
At first he thought it was simply because the strange spark, that was so unfamiliar amongst the sacred walls of Dalton. It was a very rational reason; Wes was the head of the Warblers Council and he had to make sure everything was alright. But then he noticed the longing looks the younger boy was shooting at Blaine, and he couldn't have been more surprised when his hands balled into fists at his sides unconsciously. There was just no logical explanation to that, which irritated him to no end.
He still remembered the fight he had with his girlfriend that night about his lack of attention to her ramblings about her day and problems with her friends and finding the perfect dress for their Prom. She even accused him of cheating on her, which was simply ludicrous, because Wes was almost as bad when it came to faithfulness and honour as Blaine was. Still his ire didn't lessen and while they made up a few days afterwards something felt off and even though he knew he didn't do anything wrong, he felt like he really cheated on her with all the Kurt Watching he had been doing in the last few weeks.
Then at Sectionals Blaine kind of serenaded to Kurt again, leading him on and devouring the admiration causing the others of the group to chuckle in amusement at the development of the two lovebirds actions and Wes to grit his teeth in fury because the unintended cruelty beneath all that sweetness. Yet he remained silent, not confronting his friend, just watching, watching as always.
It wasn't his business, he repeated his head, almost every moment now while trying to act like the perfectly sculptured facade he created to hide his own flaws and personality. He had responsibilities and had to be a good example for his fellow students; someone who wasn't goofing around all day and wasn't obsessed in computer games or loved cheesy romcoms. He had to be the perfect boyfriend, never straying, never stealing glances at rapidly dimming blue-green eyes and lean, very male bodies, not because he was a homophobe, but because it wasn't who he was. Being enraptured with another boy wasn't acceptable in his situation, not that he had any intention to like men at all.
But then, Kurt and Blaine was singing Baby It's Cold Outside, flirting shamelessly only to broke Kurt's heart once again, when nothing happened after the song ended and something just cracked inside of Wes when the younger Warbler admitted his feelings for Blaine to his ex-teacher. He just couldn't sit back and watch anymore.
"You have to stop this game of yours," was the first thing he said upon uncharacteristically barging into his friend's room.
Blaine looked up from his book, tilting his head in surprise and confusion. "I'm not sure, I understand, Wes," he said, and Wes felt his lips curl in anger at the self-righteous disbelief the other was showing.
"I'm talking about you leading on Kurt," Wes grit out, jaw clenched almost painfully causing the hazel eyes to blink.
"We are friends." Came the calm statement.
"Are you sure both of you know this?" he answered scathingly. "Or are you so absorbed in your little farce of being the good and almighty moral leader that you've forgotten your protégée might develop feelings for you?"
"This is ridiculous," Blaine huffed, but his gaze was starting to fill with panic, giving him away easily. "Kurt knows that we are friends and he can always come to me."
"Oh yes, because you're so selfless and gallant!"
"What is your problem, Wes?" his friend exclaimed, growing agitated with his hostile attitude. "You barely ever talk to Kurt, what do you care what happens to him?"
"Maybe, I don't want to watch as you ruin him with your condescending need of comfort and gaining power," Wes shot back, tone cold mostly because Blaine was right. He almost never talked to Kurt aside from at Warblers' practice.
"I'm just trying to help him! You don't understand–"
"Oh no, don't give me the bullying shit, because no one will buy it. This isn't about befriending a vulnerable boy and offering him an outing!" he cut in, eyes narrowing, before he changed the topic altogether. "Do you know that know that no one dares to approach him, because everyone thinks you two are going out?"
"What? That's ridiculous!" Blaine sounded outraged, face twisting into a grimace of confusion once again. "But we are friends!"
"Have you ever seen me and David serenade each other with disgustingly romantic songs like Teenage Dream?" Wes countered, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Or singing date rape duets, while undressing each other with our eyes?"
"What are you talking about? I just asked Kurt to help me practice for the concert, it was nothing romantic," the younger boy defended, shaking his head in denial. "He has the widest range among the Warblers and he's my friend."
"Then maybe, you should tell him this yourself, so he won't keep his hopes up about you two getting together in the future." And with that he stormed out of the room.
Of course things only got worse from that moment, the sparkles all but died out in Kurt's eyes and Wes, no matter that it was the right thing to do, felt like a first-rate bastard, blaming himself, even if it was Blaine who broke the boy's heart. Blaine wasn't talking to him either, avoiding anything more than a rigid "Hello" in the corridors and it was another thing that added to Wes' increasing depression.
He felt like he was failing, failing at being perfect, and as the days progressed seemingly everything shattered around him and David's pitying glances and shy pats on the shoulder really didn't help the situation. He was confused and angry and in a fit of a moment wanted to blame everything on Kurt and his appearance in their flawless lives, but seeing the pale features of the younger boy just killed every malicious intent in him. It wasn't Kurt's fault, that he was bullied into changing schools or believing into something that was too good to be true.
And it wasn't really Blaine's fault either. Wes knew his friend was still insecure and needed constant reassurance of his worthiness after the hell he had to endure at his old school, and a part of him understood that he latched onto the first person that was similar to him, not thinking about the consequences or the future, just the feeling of comfort and love he received without giving anything in exchange.
So Wes blamed himself and actually wasn't all that surprised when his girlfriend broke up with him on New Year's Eve. He actually felt nothing, but cold numbness after he closed the door behind the girl, barely realizing he was free... probably in more way than one.
[Coma White]
There's something cold and blank behind her smile
She's standing on an overpass
In a miracle mile
The song sounded as unfamiliar as the voice that sang it, so raw and hurt, yet Wes couldn't help but lean against the wall next to the half opened door of the senior commons, listening as someone was pouring his heart out.
"You were from a perfect world
A world that threw me away today
Today today to run away"
His trunk was at his feet, his winter coat still buttoned tightly around his body, proving that he only got back from home, but he didn't care, because those lines rang just too true, describing Dalton and its peers' inability to accept anything different despite the no-harassment policy. Almond shaped eyes closed on their own accord, and he listened to that husky, broken voice.
A pill to make you numb
A pill to make you dumb
A pill to make you anybody else
But all the drugs in this world
Won't save her from herself
Her mouth was an empty cut
And she was waiting to fall
Just bleeding like a polaroid that
Lost all her dolls
He wanted an out, to hide from himself and the feelings that haunted him during the break, he wanted to get rid of the memory of dead blue-green eyes, orbs that once had been so expressive and alight with high and sparkling emotions. His thoughts wandered to Kurt without his permission, bringing the elfin face and perfect hair and striking eyes to the surface of his memory, not releasing him and his heart was racing before he even noticed it, his body shaking and breath hitching... What was happening to him?
"You were from a perfect world
A world that threw me away today
Today today to run away"
The choked sobs wracked his body, causing him to slide down to the floor, not seeing, only hearing the voice, that destroyed his carefully constructed walls, his whole being without even trying, shoving the mirror of reality into his face and he wanted nothing more than to run and run and run... disappear.
A pill to make you numb
A pill to make you dumb
A pill to make you anybody else
But all the drugs in this world
Won't save her from herself
A pill to make you numb
A pill to make you dumb
A pill to make you anybody else
But all the drugs in this world
Won't save her from herself
It was him, who ruined everything, caused his friend sorrow because unintentional and inexplicable feelings for a boy that appeared in his life and turned everything upside down. It was unplanned and so different from anything he ever felt, the bitterness that tore into him upon seeing the undeserved adoration in that gaze and he acted without thinking, lashing out because of his own selfishness...
"You were from a perfect world
A world that threw me away today
Today today to run away
Where was the perfect world now? He was alone, alone without anyone to understand... because he threw it away. A hysterical laugh escaped his lips too loud and sharp and the song ended abruptly making him laugh even more desperately, hiding his face in his hands, fearing but not caring enough about being found out, because he was just not himself anymore, he was not perfect, not an example to follow, he was nothing more than mere ruins, spoiled goods... the fruit of years and years of constant pressure and vapid lies.
Wes hadn't even noticed the arms around him at first, his self-pity and tears making him blind and deaf at the same time, but then a soft, hoarse voice whispered into his ears, luring him back to reality once again.
"Wesley?" He recognised that voice, but he didn't want to see the other boy. Not now, not yet. "Hey, are you alright?" Then a moment later. "Okay, stupid question. Of course you're not alright."
Wes just shook his head, clenching his eyes together and taking big gulps of air in an attempt of calming himself down. He didn't want to be seen like a total wreck by the younger boy, no matter that it was too late for that. He had to keep as much as his dignity as he could.
"I know, we're not that close, but you can always talk to me," Kurt murmured, squeezing his shoulder encouragingly and he almost lost it once again. "Especially now, that I owe you one."
"What?" He refused to wince at the hoarseness of his voice and even dared to look at his companion. "You don't owe me." 'If anything it's me who owes you for destroying your friendship with Blaine.' But he didn't say that out loud.
"But I think I do," Kurt smiled thinly, glasz eyes swimming with a mirad of emotions for the first time in weeks if not months. "Blaine told me what you did."
Wes felt as his eyes widen in horror and he gasped, ready to apologise, but was beaten to it. "Don't!" Kurt said firmly. "Don't dare to say you're sorry. If it hadn't been for you, Blaine would have never made himself and his intentions clear."
"But–"
"It's okay, Wes," Kurt sighed, offering him a brave if not a little shaky smile. "Yes, I love Blaine, but I knew from the beginning that it was impossible even though there were signs that it might not be. And although it really hurt when he told me that he doesn't feel the same, I'm glad he did it, because now I know not to keep my hopes up and in time I'll be able to move on."
"Still, I'm sorry," Wes whispered, averting his eyes. "It wasn't any of my business and..." he didn't know what to say.
"You had good intentions and that's what really counts. It's alright, I'm telling you."
"And Blaine?"
"He misses you, I can tell. I think you should talk to him when he gets back tomorrow."
"What about you?"
At this Kurt's smile became bitter around the edges, but didn't disappear. "He is my friend first and foremost which is something I should have never forgotten despite my hurt feelings."
"Oh..."
"Courage, Wes. Courage." He frowned at the word, remembering that it was what Blaine used to say to Kurt all the time before he came to Dalton. "Now, what do you think about playing some Halo or Call of Duty? My brother, Finn hooked me up during the break as pathetic and unbelievable as it sounds."
Wes stared at the offered hand for a second, biting his lower lip in indecision while his heart fluttered for some reason. The old Wesley would have never accepted such an offer, but maybe He could...
"Sure."