Rusty POV
It's Friday evening, and I was almost to my car when I realized that my phone charger was still sitting on my desk, in my room.
I glanced down at my phone and it's at forty-three percent. No way will I make it until morning without the charger.
At the same time, I don't want to go back upstairs. Flynn's already there, and I've been out of the condo for at least five minutes, so who knows what they might be up to by now?
"See you in the morning," I told Sharon just before I left, and then I looked purposefully at Flynn and added, "Behave yourselves."
That comment was courtesy of Emily, who texted me this morning to find out what time Sharon got home last night.
Around midnight, was my response.
Interesting, she replied. Did she have that look?
What look?
I could practically hear the sigh that accompanied her typed response.
Men are hopeless. Never mind. You're leaving them alone tonight?
I hadn't really thought about that, but I will be out of the condo overnight tonight. Does that mean Flynn's going to stay over? God, I wish that thought hadn't popped into my head. Although do people their age actually still have sex? Maybe it's more about being together than…well, being together.
Yes, I'm in this online Russian chess tournament that starts at midnight.
She responded, Make sure you tell the lieutenant to behave himself. I want him to know that we know what he's up to with our mother.
I started to ask why, but then I decided that I didn't really want to know. Emily might not have a line when it comes to breaching her mother's privacy, but I do.
Still, saying the simple disclaimer was easy enough. Although I'm not sure it bothered Flynn at all. He just grinned at me as he pointedly waved goodbye, while Sharon gave me a reproachful look. I smiled sheepishly at her and shrugged before heading for the door.
"I'll be sure to tell Emily you did as you were told," she called out after me.
She really knows her children well.
Andy chuckled but I didn't look back, merely waved over my head and slipped out the door.
And yet now I either have to go back, or accept the fact that my phone's going to die long before I get back home in the morning.
I groaned loudly and did a one-eighty in the parking garage, heading back for the lobby.
Maybe if I make enough noise unlocking the door, that'll give them plenty of time to stop whatever it is they might be doing. And jeez, it has only been five minutes. Surely they can keep their hands off each other for longer than that.
After making the trek back upstairs, I paused outside the door for a moment because upon approach, I thought I heard Flynn's voice, and if I did, that would mean he was talking pretty loud.
I put my ear to the door, and then I heard him again.
"Are you kidding me with this? You love me?" he shouted, the irritation evident, and it caused me to take a quick step back, staring hard at the door with a sick feeling in my stomach.
He's yelling at Sharon, dismissing her feelings for him? Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God…now what do I do? This has to be devastating for her, and Flynn…God, I want to just punch him in the face right now.
I stepped forward and shamelessly listened at the door again, hoping to maybe hear Sharon rip him to shreds for being such an ass, but she's too quiet, I guess, because I didn't hear anything until Flynn said, "This is crazy. I tried to be nice about it, but since you can't seem to do nice, let me put it this way. This idea you have of us? It's never going to happen. Not ever."
What the hell happened between the time I left and now? She told him she loved him? God, how can he be such a jerk?
Okay, that's it, I decided.
I'm going in.
I jammed the key in the lock and whipped open the door, with a full head of steam and biting words on the tip of my tongue, but then I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw them a few feet away from me, each with their arms around the other. Of course, my sudden presence caused them to break apart, and while I tried to wrap my mind around what was going on, Sharon looked at me questioningly.
"Are you okay?" she asked, her expression warm and not the least bit upset.
I looked at Flynn and he's watching me with concern, too, probably since I flung open the door and now I'm just standing here like an idiot. I noticed that even though they stopped hugging, Flynn is still touching her, just his fingers on her arm, like he wasn't ready to let go.
"Yeah," I managed to say, shifting my gaze back to Sharon. "Are you okay?"
"You've only been gone a few minutes. We haven't even had time to burn dinner yet," she said with a smile, and for some reason, that comment made Andy chuckle, and then his hand slid down her arm until he reached her hand, and his fingers clasped hers.
And I'm completely confused.
I was ready to punch this guy out for hurting Sharon, and yet now that I'm looking at them, I feel like I'm watching a movie again, the two main characters having fallen completely in love.
"I…uh…forgot my phone charger," I managed to say, ducking my head and moving towards the hallway as quickly as possible. "Sorry. I'll be out of your hair in a minute."
"You're fine, kid," Andy assured me, and then he mumbled something that I couldn't hear, and after a second, I realized Sharon had followed me to my room.
"Hey," she said softly from the doorway as I reached behind my desk to unplug the charger from the wall.
"I'm sorry for interrupting," I told her.
"Rusty, you live here. Don't ever be sorry for walking into your own home," she said easily. I finally managed to free the plug that for some reason didn't want to come out of the wall, and then I got to my feet and looked over at her, where she stood leaning against the doorframe.
"Want to tell me what's bothering you?" she asked. "Is it that Andy's here?"
I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck as I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. Admitting to eavesdropping isn't exactly what I want to do, but I also have to know that she's alright.
Although she looks great. Relaxed and content and…well, worried at the moment, but that's because of me.
"No, I like Flynn," I said quickly. "I just want to make sure he's nice to you."
She regarded me quizzically and said, "He is nice to me. Do you think I'd want to spend time with him if he weren't?"
"No. I know you wouldn't."
"Is this more of Emily's concern about me being vulnerable?" she asked.
I know I'm not going to get out of here until I admit what I did, and my curiosity is killing me, so I came clean.
"Sharon, I heard Flynn. Through the door, just before I came in," I said in a rush. "He was upset because you said…well, you must have said that you love him. And he said it was never going to happen between you. So I don't get why…"
"Hang on," she interrupted gently, and I can tell she's trying not to smile. "What you heard was Andy on the phone."
"Oh. So…you're really okay?"
She walked toward me, finally letting herself smile, and then she paused a couple of feet away from me as she said, "I'm actually better than okay."
"Okay, good."
"You thought he was yelling at me. So you were planning on coming to my rescue?" she asked with amusement. "By telling Andy where to go?"
"The thought crossed my mind," I admitted, dropping my gaze to study the carpet.
Sharon took another step closer to me, and I can tell she wants to hug me, but she won't unless I initiate it, so I did. I moved toward her and held out my arms, and she immediately wrapped her arms around me. It always gets me choked up, how comforting it is to be hugged by her. I mean, I'm an adult, eighteen years old, and yet I still get this overwhelmingly safe feeling when she hugs me.
"I appreciate that you're worried about me," she said, still holding me close. "But you don't need to be, okay?"
I nodded, and then since we were having a moment, I decided to push it by asking, "So do you love him?"
She squeezed me more tightly for just a second and then let go, taking a step back and smiling at me as she said, "I'm not going to answer that right now."
"That's not a no," I pointed out, smiling back at her and so completely relieved that I hadn't misread Flynn, and that he's not being a jerk to her.
"Aren't you going to be late to Michael's?" she deflected.
"Yeah, yeah," I said, conceding that I'm not going to get any more information out of her. "And apparently you have a dinner to burn, or something."
She laughed and together we walked back out to the living room, where Flynn was studying the stereo system. I guess he's trying to figure out how to turn it on, so I went over and reached past him to push the power button, and then gestured towards the input selector.
"Radio, CD, IPod…that last one might be over your head, but it's actually this thing called digital music," I joked.
He rolled his eyes at me and then surprised me by ruffling my hair with his hand. Sharon does that to me sometimes, and I don't mind it, and now for some reason, I'm okay with Flynn doing it, too.
"We're okay?" he asked me quietly. "If me being here makes you uncomfortable…"
He trailed off, and I watched him as his eyes tracked Sharon, who crossed the room and went into the kitchen, and it hit me that anything I might have wanted to say was going to be completely unnecessary.
And really, I even feel bad about thinking he was yelling at her earlier, because I know Flynn better than that, and I know he wouldn't do that, not about something personal.
Because he already respects her. He already appreciates her.
So I don't need to tell him to treat her right, or give him any other kind of over-protective warning.
And maybe it's because we're here instead of at the office, I don't know, but seeing his expression while he's watching her, I can easily see it. He's totally into her. Very possibly even in love with her.
Not so long ago, that might have scared me. I might have wondered about my place in Sharon's life, and maybe felt like I was getting in the way.
But now it just makes me feel good. And I know I make this comparison a lot, but it's really all I have to go on...it's like I'm watching one of those movies I won't admit to liking, the ones Sharon puts in sometimes on Saturday nights, where two lonely people - in spite of countless obstacles and miscommunication - always manage to find love with each other in the end.
I think maybe that's Sharon and Flynn.
Andy POV
"What's up with the kid?" I asked after Rusty left and I'd gone into the kitchen where Sharon was sipping on a glass of wine.
Which means she left the room just to give me and Rusty a minute alone together, I realized.
I wonder if he had something more he wanted to say to me, because after I asked him if me being here makes him uncomfortable, he didn't say much, although he studied me at length and I let him. I'm sure it's strange for him, having Sharon mostly to himself since he moved in with her, and now I'm suddenly around. Hopefully the friendship she and I have been building over the past few months helped ease the way for this transition for him, but at the same time, I don't want to freak the kid out.
Although he didn't seem upset or anything. After staring at me for a minute or two, he just rolled his eyes and said, "I'll let you get back to your date."
"What, no threat of violence?" I joked, settling my hand on his shoulder.
"Only if you hurt her," he said, both serious and smiling at the same time, and I like his resolve. Before I could assure him otherwise, he added, "But we both know you aren't going to do that, right?"
"Not a chance in hell, kid," I promised, and I mean that. In spite of my flawed track record, I care about Sharon too much to let that happen, so I'm going to do whatever it takes to make sure it doesn't.
He seemed satisfied with my response, although he still hesitated for another minute, and then he nodded and said goodbye, turning to head for the door before calling out to Sharon as well, and then he was gone.
"Did he say something?" she asked me, holding out her hand to me. I went to stand next to her, leaning against the counter as I took hold of her hand, bringing it to my lips for a brief moment before responding.
"I got the standard disclaimer of don't hurt Sharon," I said with a smile. She sighed and closed her eyes, but I added quickly, "It's fine, really. He loves you."
She hummed her agreement and then took another sip of wine before asking, "Are you okay?"
Because yeah, my ex-wife decided to call me, for the third time today, right after Rusty left the first time.
The first time she called was early this morning, while I was still in bed, and I was friendly. Probably because I was still riding on the high that came from having made love to Sharon the night before.
"Andy!" Sheila said cheerily when I answered. "I was expecting voice mail. Shouldn't you be at work by now?"
"It's six-thirty," I replied.
"I seem to recall you always going in around six, back when we were married."
"That was a long time ago," I pointed out.
"Yes and no," she countered. "But anyway, I'm glad I caught you. I have a dinner party tomorrow night, a work thing I can't get out of, and then I thought, wouldn't it be fun if you could go with me!"
I could think of at least a thousand things that would be more fun…prostate exam, root canal, colonoscopy…
"I have a date tomorrow night," I told her. I don't know if I have one tomorrow night or not, but Sharon said there'll always be a next time, so I certainly hope so. "And even if I didn't, Sheila…we talked about this."
"I know, I know, you don't want to get back together, but Andy, honey, you don't want me to have to go by myself, do you? You know how vicious co-workers can be, and I'd consider it a personal favor if you'd…"
"I'm sorry, no," I interrupted. "I'm sure you can find someone else to take. Listen, I need to get ready for work."
"Okay," she said on a heavy sigh. "I'll call you later."
I started to tell her there was no need for her to call, but she hung up before I could get the words out. I don't know what's up with her. I've talked to her more in the past two days than I have in the last month.
I took another moment before getting up, erasing the phone call from my mind as I simply enjoyed the lingering scent and visual memory of Sharon in my bed, and then I forced myself to get up and start the day.
It went well, for the most part. We executed the search warrants and brought in our suspect, and by mid-afternoon, it was time to call DDA Hobbs.
Another murder solved in less than thirty-six hours. Our stats have to be through the roof lately.
And I'm really pleased that Sharon and I worked smoothly together today. I mean, it felt just like normal. That's not to say I didn't think about last night a time or twelve over the course of the day, but I didn't let it get in the way of getting the job done, and I certainly didn't act any differently toward her. I know, because Provenza has been watching me all day, and he would've said something.
"You look a little…less depressed today," he remarked when we went out to grab some lunch.
"Thanks," I said with an eye roll. And then to get him onto another topic, I told him about the call from my ex.
"She wants to get back together?" he asked incredulously.
"I know, crazy, right?"
"Insane," he agreed. "Although maybe going on a date with her wouldn't hurt."
"What? Now who's crazy?"
"No, just listen to me. You've had this crush on the captain for God knows how long, and it's pointless. A date with someone else wouldn't kill you."
I guess my plan of keeping off the topic of Sharon backfired.
It made me wish I'd never told him about my crush to begin with, but way back when I first noticed that I had feelings for Sharon, it kind of freaked me out, and I never considered for one second that anything would ever come of it, which is why I confided in my partner.
"You just need to go out and chase some other skirt for a while, and you'll forget all about the captain," was his advice back then. "When all you do is go to work and go home, of course you're going to focus on the attractive woman in the office."
"So you think she's attractive, too," I stated.
"Well, yeah," he began, and then he scoffed and said, "But she's the captain, Flynn."
"Sykes is attractive, and I don't have a crush on her," I pointed out, poking holes in his theory.
"Sykes is twelve," he said dismissively. "Just trust me on this. Go through that little black book of yours and pick out a stewardess or a waitress and go out for a night on the town."
I didn't, of course. I wasn't interested in spending time with any woman, other than Sharon.
And now, almost a year later, his advice is the same.
"So you think I should go out with my ex, just to get Sharon out of my head?" I asked him, my tone telling him just exactly what I think of his idea.
"Okay, so not Sheila," he conceded. "But someone. I mean, obviously the captain has someone now, so that should tell you something."
"It should tell me what?"
"To move on, Flynn," he said purposefully.
And really, as blunt as he can be sometimes, especially about my so-called crush on Sharon, I know he only says what he says because he doesn't want to see me hurt. He thinks I'm going to waste my years pining for someone I'll never get.
"Didn't you just say I look less depressed today?" I replied leadingly.
"Wait, so you…did you have a date? When? With who?"
I smirked at him and said, "Let's just say you don't have to worry about me and my one-sided crush on the captain anymore."
He stared at me for a minute, and then he almost smiled as he slapped me on the back and said, "Good for you, Flynn."
Of course, he's going to kill me when he finds out what I really meant by that remark, but I'll worry about that later.
We took lunch back for everyone, and I stopped by Sharon's office to hand over her salad.
"Looks like we're going to make it out of here on time tonight," I said conversationally as I crossed the room.
There wasn't much empty space on her desk, considering she has files spread out, and the vase of purple roses still sitting prominently next to her name plate, so I bookmarked an open ledger and then closed it and set the food on top.
"I think so," she agreed, then she tipped her head towards the salad and added, "And thank you."
She looked up at me, her green eyes somehow set off by the deep red of her shirt, and I'm not sure she's ever looked more beautiful, and I found myself unable to say anything that was acceptable, considering our location.
She tilted her head as she continued to stare at me, and a smile played on her lips as she asked, "Do you need something?"
A perfectly innocent question and yet my response was anything but when I said, immediately and vehemently, "Yes."
I could see the moment my meaning became clear, when her eyes darkened and the air between us felt alive with electricity. I had a feeling that I was going to be in trouble for pushing the envelope, but instead she smiled more fully, holding my gaze for an extra beat before turning back to her work and saying, "Finish that report. We're not allowed any overtime today, so I want you out of here at five o'clock, okay?"
I somehow managed to make myself leave her office and get back to work, and within a minute, I had a text message from her, which turned out to be the rest of what she didn't say in her office.
That should give you time to go home and pack a bag and be at my place by six.
I guess I wasn't in trouble for my suggestive slip after all.
I put my phone away and got to work on the report, and that's when Sheila called the second time.
"I am working this time," I answered.
"I know, I'm sorry, honey," she said quickly.
Her use of honey was really starting to get on my nerves. In fact, the calls in general were hitting a nerve. Did she honestly think I'd want to go running back to her after all this time?
"I'll make it quick," she added.
"Okay," I said shortly.
"See, the thing is, I talked to our therapist this morning, about us, you know, and she thinks it's a great idea, especially since you're working to repair the relationship with the kids, and she suggested that we do a session with her, you know, just you and me, and she has an opening at five today."
"No," I answered as I tried to rein in my temper. I can't believe she's going to throw the kids at me, our grown children who've had two decades to come to grips with our divorce, not to mention she was remarried for twelve years.
"No? Just…no?"
"I already told you that I'm not interested in going backwards," I said, keeping my voice down as best I could, but I swear I could see Provenza's ears perk up in an attempt to listen.
"Going backwards?"
"You and me. Us. That's the past. I've been there, so I don't need to go back."
"Oh, so you're moving forward with your boss?" she said, her tone going from pleasant to poison in a split second. "Yeah, that sounds like a great idea, Andy. Real smart."
"Smart or not, that's my business," I replied carefully.
She stayed quiet for a moment, so I sighed and added, "I don't want to fight with you, Sheila."
"Then don't. Come with me today, and we'll talk it through."
"I can't. And I need to go, we're in the middle of a murder investigation, so…"
"Okay, I'll call you later," she said, which is apparently her new closing remark when on the phone. She was chipper again, and I realized I used the wrong words with her.
I said I can't instead of I don't want to.
So I suppose I only have myself to blame for the third call, the one that came in just as Rusty was leaving. I was still smiling over his behave yourselves remark when I felt my phone buzz.
"It's Sheila," I told Sharon, after checking the caller ID. "Again."
"You warned me she'd be persistent," she said, running a hand over my back in a soothing fashion. "Go ahead. I'd rather you deal with her now when there isn't much to interrupt."
She was smiling at me, and I love that she doesn't seem threatened by my ex, although I suppose her experience with Jack probably helps a lot. She knows what it means to be done with a relationship, even if there's history and shared children that make that other person never completely out of the picture.
"After this, I'm turning off my phone," I told her, stealing a quick kiss before answering the call.
"I went to the appointment without you," Sheila said, sounding slightly accusatory.
"I told you I wasn't coming," I reminded her.
"I know, but Andy, there really are things we need to talk about."
"We've said all that needs to be said. I'm with someone," I said.
"That's just a silly infatuation," she said dismissively. "I know you, Andy. You like a challenge, and your boss was most definitely a challenge, but she's not right for you, and you know it. It'll never work."
I had the ironic thought that maybe I should set her up with Provenza because they certainly see eye to eye about that. But I like my partner too much to do that to him.
"Sheila," I started, but she interrupted me to say, "Andy, you were my first love, and yeah, we stepped off the path for a while there, but those feelings, they don't just go away. I still feel the same about you as I did the day we got married."
Her suggestion, both that Sharon isn't right for me and that Sheila still loves me…it was just too much.
"Are you kidding me with this? You love me?" I asked incredulously, turning to catch Sharon's eye as I shook my head in disbelief.
"Why is that such a shock to you?" she snapped back. "Andy, honey…"
I think it was the honey that finally did me in.
"This is crazy," I said sharply. "I tried to be nice about it, but since you can't seem to do nice, let me put it this way. This idea you have of us? It's never going to happen. Not ever."
I hung up the phone and turned to toss it on the table, and when I turned back around, Sharon wrapped her arms around me, and I immediately relaxed into her embrace.
"She just couldn't take a hint," I explained, feeling bad about what I said, and yet she didn't leave me with much choice.
"Exes rarely do," she commiserated, and I was so grateful for her understanding of the awkward situation, and that's where we were, standing there holding each other, when Rusty came back in. He seemed a little strange at first, but by the time he left, he was back to his usual smartass self.
"I'm just hoping it takes this time," I said, in answer to Sharon asking if I'm alright. "I think I'm going to let her calls go to voice mail for a little while."
"That usually helps," she agreed. I watched her as she took another sip of wine before setting the glass on the counter and turning to me as she said, "Rusty heard what you said to her, right at the end. He thought you were talking to me."
I thought back to the end of my conversation and then groaned as I realized why the kid had seemed so weird.
"So I was telling you it's never going to happen?"
"After you mocked me for saying I love you," she stated, and I have to say that even hearing it out of context, the sound of those words coming from her lips…it really gives me something to look forward to.
"I'm guessing you corrected his misconception, since he didn't try to throw me out of here," I said, moving my free hand up to push her hair back over her shoulder and then I ran my finger along the side of her throat.
"I did, yes," she replied, letting her eyes fall closed as I leaned in closer, bringing my lips to that same spot on her neck. She let out an unsteady sigh as her fingers tightened their grip on my other hand, the one still holding hers. She inched closer to me, so that our bodies are in full contact, and I felt her shudder as I continued to work my lips over her skin. I love that she's so responsive, so willing to let me see that she likes what I'm doing.
After a few moments, she brought her hand up to my cheek, encouraging me to lift my head up, so I did, and her lips met mine enthusiastically, the kiss instantly scorching and almost desperate with need, a sure result - at least on my part - of a day's worth of desire coming to a head.
We let it go on and on, not taking it any further, but just kissing and it was perfect, and somewhere in the back of my mind I had the hope that Rusty didn't forget anything else because even if he comes back now, I'm not sure I could stop. I feel like I could kiss her for the rest of my life, and I love that she seems to get just as much pleasure from it as I do.
And I know we have things to talk about tonight, because we haven't really discussed what all this means, the two of us. And we haven't talked about disclosure at work yet.
I considered doing the responsible thing and pulling back, maybe suggest dinner and conversation before we get too carried away, but then she tugged on the back of my shirt, untucking it from my pants so that she could move her hands beneath the fabric, sliding her fingers across my skin as she pulled me even closer, pressing our bodies tightly together.
And that's when I decided that we have the next fourteen hours together, with no call-outs and no kids.
There'll be plenty of time for talking later.
Sharon POV
It's three a.m. and I can't sleep.
Not for my usual reasons. Not because Rusty is the target of death threats, or because Amy suffered a beating from a suspect, or because Julio got shot.
This time it's because Andy's in my bed.
And that's a good thing. A very good thing.
But I'm just having trouble turning off my brain.
So much has happened, on a personal level, in the past few days, things I honestly never considered as a possibility. At least, not prior to the past couple of months, when I started gradually looking at Andy with different eyes. And even then, even when I realized that I find him attractive - both physically and intellectually - and even when I thought he might have feelings for me, I still didn't look far enough ahead to this moment.
This moment of pure contentment.
I'm tempted to use the word perfect, because that's certainly how it feels. Andy is behind me, his chest pressed against my back, and he has one arm wrapped around me, holding me close. Our legs are tangled together, and I can feel his breath against the back of my neck, and as much as I might have thought that sleeping this close to someone would feel confining, it doesn't. It feels…perfect. I guess maybe I need to use that word after all.
That's not to say we won't have issues. In fact, I'm sure we will. But it's the realization that we both want to be here, in spite of whatever obstacles we may face.
We talked about a lot of that this evening, getting acceptance from our children and approval from Taylor, as well as the always-present reality of our exes.
But it's all worth it, to both of us, in order to be here.
I felt Andy stir behind me, his grip tightening as he stretched, and then his nose buried in my hair as he settled again, and I smiled as I slid my hand over his, where it rests against my stomach.
I had no idea he would be so demonstrative, and honestly, I had no idea that I'd like it so much. It's been so long since I've had any kind of romantic feelings for anyone that I think I was afraid I wouldn't be good at it anymore. And I don't mean the love-making - although that was a concern - but more the give and take of the caring gestures, the little shows of affection.
Like earlier today, in my office. He brought me lunch, and then for a moment he just looked at me, and even though we've done a lot of gazing at each other in recent months, this was different, and it was intense and a little unsettling because for a brief moment, I didn't care that we were in my office. I had the fleeting urge to be reckless, to touch him, or flirt with him, or something, and it's a feeling that's foreign to me, so it took me a minute to get it under control.
Although I suppose I didn't, not completely, because I knew what I was saying when I asked him if he needed something. And maybe it was a test, I don't know. Maybe I wanted to see if my words would affect him, the way his gaze was affecting me. Also, it seemed to me that if we could keep it out of the office today, after our first time together, when excitement and arousal was still running high, then we shouldn't have any problem after today.
His response gave me everything I was hoping for. An emphatic yes, that was somehow both ambiguous and transparent.
He didn't elaborate, so it didn't turn inappropriate, but at the same time, he was saying he needs me.
That knowledge sent an unexpected wave of lust through me, one that had me forcing myself to look away, to get my focus back on work, where it belonged. It also had me looking at the clock and counting the hours until we would have some alone time together.
As soon as Andy left, I sent him a text, asking him to come at six, because I knew Rusty was planning to leave shortly after that, and I thought it would be a good idea for them to see each other, so it wouldn't seem like I was sneaking Andy in after he was gone.
That worked out well, too. Rusty seems very accepting of the change in our relationship, even if he was thrown for a moment this evening by the misunderstanding of overhearing Andy's phone call. At least he talked to me about it, I thought with pride. He's become so much more open and honest about his feelings. And apparently he's really getting along well with Emily and Ricky, the relationship getting a kick-start due to their bonding over speculation about me and Andy. That was unexpected, but it really makes me happy, even though I do find their over-protectiveness to be a bit much.
Ricky called me earlier today, not long after Andy left my office, so I chatted with him while I picked my way through the salad.
I knew he wasn't simply calling to catch up, but rather to discuss Andy, and it only took him a couple of minutes to get to it.
"You know," he began, and I had to lean back in my chair and smile because his tone gave him away, that he was about to broach the subject. "Just because I suggested that you're lonely doesn't mean you had to run right out and get a life with the closest available guy."
I know he loves me, and that he means well, but he really needs to work on his delivery.
"Oh really?" I questioned, keeping my tone low and even. "Because that's exactly what I was doing, taking to heart the opinion of my son who lives five hours away. I mean, why else would I decide to go on a date, if not because my oh-so-observant son called me lonely?"
"Ouch, okay, Mom. Sarcasm? Really?"
"It's better than condescension, which is what you're pulling on me," I replied good-naturedly.
"I prefer to call it concern," he corrected. "And considering I'm going off guesswork and second-hand information, since you haven't called to tell me yourself…"
"Oh my God, Richard, I went on a date. One date," I said with mild annoyance. "I don't get a call from you every time you go on a date."
I'm underplaying it, I know, but after catching Emily and Rusty talking about me last night, I feel like my children might need a reminder that I'm the parent.
"Consider yourself lucky," he joked. "I'd be calling you half a dozen times a week."
"Really?" I asked with interest. "That often? With the same woman, or a lot of different women? Because I haven't heard you mention anyone special…"
"Hey!" he interrupted, chuckling at my inquisition. "We're talking about you, remember?"
"No, you were putting your foot in your mouth. Again. You really should learn to think about what you want to say before the words come out of your mouth."
"Ouch again. Well, how about this? Tell me why Rusty caught you two making out, if you've only had one date?"
I sighed heavily at his persistence, but I suppose it's only natural for him to be curious. He's never seen this side of me because I really haven't let it be seen, not in his lifetime. The few times I made the effort, years and years ago, I always made a point of keeping it from my kids.
"I'll tell you what I told Emily and Rusty," I conceded. "I like Andy. Presently, we're exploring whether or not there might be something more than just friendship between us, and while we do that, I'd like to avoid interference from my children."
"That's the PC answer. Substitute colleagues for children and that sounds like what you'll tell your boss," he pushed, and as I felt myself starting to get really annoyed, he softened his tone and said, "Mom, I love you. Please just tell me that you know what you're doing, and I'll let it go."
His sincerity wasn't lost on me, and I relaxed a little as I assured him, "I know what I'm doing."
I said it with my usual confidence, so he would never know how long it took me to ring Andy's doorbell last night. Or the night before, for that matter. Although I've come to realize that what I took as nerves over escalating our relationship is actually more excitement and anticipation and desire.
It's how I'm feeling now, since Andy has awakened enough to start kissing the back of my neck and my shoulder, just light touches that serve to set me alight.
"Why are you awake?" he murmured, his lips still grazing my skin.
"You're kissing me," I pointed out, smiling as I pushed back against him, causing him to make a sort of growling sound in his throat.
"You were already awake."
"Yes," I admitted as I eased onto my back so that I could look at him. His hand immediately went to my hair, brushing it back from my face and then continuing to stroke through it as he held my gaze.
"Because I'm here?" he asked softly.
His expression is so open and concerned, and I can feel the emotion well up inside of me at just how much I adore him.
"No," I answered, and he searched my eyes for a brief moment, and then raised a questioning eyebrow.
I love that he didn't just let it go. I mean, he could've initiated a second round of love-making, or worse, he could've rolled over and gone back to sleep, but instead he wants to know what's keeping me awake.
"I'm just going over everything in my mind," I told him as I rested my palm against his chest.
"How you ended up in bed with me?" he asked with a playful smile, his fingers never slowing as they weave through my hair, and I wonder if he knows it makes my toes tingle when he does that.
"No," I said, laughing lightly as he leaned down to brush his lips across mine, and then he added, "You're trying to figure out where you went wrong, aren't you?"
"I'm pretty sure I knew exactly what I was doing when I invited you over tonight. And when I showed up at your house last night," I countered.
"Hmm…you came to seduce me," he said with a feigned serious expression, making me laugh again.
"I'm not sure that's what I'd call it," I admitted, still chuckling, and before I could think about what I was about to say, I confessed, "I was pretty nervous."
"You?" he asked in surprise.
"It does happen from time to time. And you have to admit, this was a big step. There's not really any going back from here."
"Who wants to go back?" he remarked, making it both a question and a statement at the same time.
The former is meant for me, I suppose.
"I don't," I assured him, sliding my palm up to his cheek. He leaned down to kiss me again, and I turned it into something with a little more heated intent. I don't want him to wonder if I'm having any doubts, and maybe the fact that I can't sleep has him a little concerned.
"There's just a lot to think about. The kids, our jobs, our exes," I summarized, smiling as he rolled his eyes in regards to the last thing on my list. "But you know what's great is that the easy part seems to be us. We like each other, we respect each other, we're honest with each other…"
"We're really good in bed together," he added, flashing me that boyish smile.
"We are, aren't we?" I replied, his comment not unexpected, especially considering our current position, but I still like that he said it because, as I mentioned, the physical aspect was a concern of mine. It's been too long for me to have much confidence in that arena, but we've proven extremely compatible.
"And we're falling in love with each other," he said purposefully, his hand once again stroking over my hair. I love that he can express himself so easily, and I wonder if he's always been this way, or if it's our connection, our established friendship, that makes him able to do so.
"Yes, we are," I agreed, tilting my head towards his in search of another kiss. He shifted, covering my body with his as he brought his lips back to mine, tenderly and lovingly, and the unadulterated emotion of it very nearly brought tears to my eyes.
"So," he said after pulling back slightly, his voice just a low rumble. "The kids are fine with it, Taylor will get used to it, and the exes…well, who cares what they think?"
"Hmm, you make a very good point."
"So now maybe you can sleep?"
He makes me want to laugh again because there's no way I can sleep - the feel of him against me, and the intensity of that last kiss, and the way he's looking at me, like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world, all of that has me feeling so alive with desire.
"Well not now," I responded, a smile playing on my lips.
He smiled back at me, and leaned in close, pressing his body against mine with more purpose, and his lips almost touching mine as he said, "Good."
It was quite a while later before we settled back into our original positions, with him wrapped around me from behind, and the matters that had my brain on overtime earlier suddenly seem much less important, and I have no doubt that I'll be able to sleep now.
With his foot slipped between mine and his arm around me, I let out a deep, contented breath, and he squeezed me lightly as his lips grazed my shoulder one last time, and then I closed my eyes.
The End