Okay, this is so the opposite of what I usually write, but I'm gonna try drama. This takes place after Monica and Richard broke up, and I haven't seen that season for a long time, so if any of this is wrong, than just live with this. Not to sound too mean. And I did this thing my mom told me to do, I usually plan out exactly what I'm gonna write b4 I write it, but instead I just kinda wrote and kept writing till I was done. And I think it turned out pretty good. Okay, newayz, I don't own the characters, although they do own a lot of my thoughts…weird, well, they don't own them, they're just, there, ya know?? Shutting up now…..
Monica lay in bed, listening to the rain pounding against the window. The sky outside matched her mood. Grey and gloomy. It had been rainy and dreary for what seemed like forever, and that was exactly how Monica felt. Hopeless. Like life was at its worst and never going to get better.
She was never going to find anyone. Never. Ross and Rachel had each other, even if they had been fighting a lot lately. Chandler had Janice. Ugh, Janice had somebody. Which meant that Chandler and Rachel weren't around much, and she really needed one of them, even if she didn't know it.
~*~
"Mon still in bed?" Chandler asked after walking into Monica and Rachel's apartment.
"Yeah," Rachel said, "I heard her crying last night, she's taking this Richard thing really hard."
"Has she even left the apartment all week?" Joey asked.
"I don't know, not much if she has. She hasn't really eaten anything," Rachel answered, "and she's gonna lose her job if she keeps up like this."
"I feel bad, like we should be doing something for her, ya know?" Chandler said.
"Yeah, I know," Phoebe added, "I just wish I knew what."
~*~
Chandler walked into the girls' apartment that night, and found that Rachel wasn't home. He walked over to Monica's door and knocked softly. "Mon," he said, but she didn't answer. He walked in and saw that her back was to the door.
Chandler walked to the other side of the bed and saw that she was awake. "Hey, you," he whispered, sitting down on the edge of her bed.
"Hey," Monica answered, sitting up.
"You're gonna come out of this room tonight, if I have to carry you," Chandler said. His voice was serious, but he smiled and his eyes showed otherwise.
"It's Saturday night, shouldn't you be out with Janice or something?"
"I broke up with her, I just couldn't go through the whole Janice thing again. I decided that it was better to be sad and pathetic alone, than to be with someone sadder and patheticer (it's a word. U can say it, therefore it's a word) than me."
"So that would mean you and me would never happen," Monica said.
"Don't even go there, Mon. You can't compare yourself with Janice, and there's no way in hell you're as sad or pathetic as me," he said and wiped a tear off of her cheek. Not knowing what to say, he pulled her into a hug. Monica cried into his chest letting everything out, something she'd needed to do for a long time. Chandler let her cry, hoping that it would help, and just held her, rubbing her back, trying to soothe her in someway.
When he was pretty sure that she had stopped crying, Chandler broke the silence. "Wanna watch a movie or somethin?" he asked, using the tone that he used whenever one of the girls was sad and he was trying to comfort them. She shook her head, which was still resting on his chest. "Wanna get up at all?" She just shook her head again, so as promised before, he picked her up, carrying her out to the living room(opposite of most fics, huh?lol)
"I didn't think you were serious about that, and how the hell'd you get so strong?"
"I'm not strong, you're really light," he said and put her down on the couch, "makes me feel strong though," he added and flashed a grin, which caused Monica to smile. Chandler smile to himself, she hadn't even smiled in over a week. 'makin some progress,' he thought and walked into the kitchen. "Rocky Road or Mint Chip?" he asked.
"What?" Monica asked confused.
"Ice cream," Chandler explained.
"I don't want any," Monica said.
Chandler just shrugged and grabbed the carton of rocky road and a spoon, "Your loss," he said, sitting next to her.
After watching him eat for a few minutes, Monica asked, "Can I just have a bit?"
Chandler nodded and handed her the spoon. She took one spoonful, and then continued to eat it, so Chandler handed her the carton. He tried not to grin, that had been his plan all along. 'score two, Gellar, I control you,' he thought. "So do you wanna watch a movie?" he asked again.
"Not really," Monica said. She appreciated that he was trying to help, but she didn't feel like being around anybody at the moment, "I think I'll just go take a bath," she said and handed the carton back to Chandler before going into the bathroom.
Chandler flipped on the T.V., smiling at the fact that he'd at least made a little progress.
~*~
The next morning, Monica got up and made breakfast, something the other five had missed for the past couple of weeks.
"I don't know what you did," Rachel whispered to Chandler, "but thank you."
Chandler nodded, but he didn't buy it. He didn't think Monica was any happier, she was just putting on an act. He wished that he knew what to do to make it better, but he had no clue.
So he just smiled when he met Monica's eye.
Monica was still miserable inside, but decided that she might as well come back to the real world. She cooked breakfast, tried to force a laugh at all the appropriate times, and smiled. She didn't know what to do.
So she just smile back when Chandler caught her eye.
He knew she was lying. She knew that he knew. But neither one knew what to do, so Chandler just go up and went to work, with the others, including Monica, leaving soon after.
~*~
Over the next week, Monica's depression didn't get any better. She kept that act up in front of her friends, but she was a mess inside. She had convinced herself that Richard, along with every other guy that she had ever dated, ended things with her for the same reason that Chandler ended things with Janice.
She was just too pathetic.
Through this same thinking process, she had also convinced herself that she didn't deserve a boyfriend, much less love, which she wasn't sure that in this world full of pain and lies, love actually existed.
She had convinced herself that every time anybody had said that they loved her, they were lying. Anyone who had ever told her she was beautiful, it was all lies. She had convinced herself that the whole world was against her, and that life stood a snowball's chance in hell of getting better.
'eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve,' Monica counted in her head. Twelve pills were left. Twelve painkillers from when Rachel had sprained her ankle once. Twelve pills that could take away all the lies and pain. 'life's a bitch and then you die…' Monica thought of the saying she'd heard so many times. 'if that's so true, I might as well end it now.'
Monica took a deep, shaky breath and looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. 'Rock bottom. No, rock bottom, a thousand feet of crap, then me.' Well, it was all about to go away.
She took one pill. Then another, and another. She swallowed them one by one.
And then, darkness….
To be continued……..
Should I continue??? Or was it crap??? Let me know by reviewing!!! Thanx