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please reviewplease reviewplease reviewLet me know if the interview should continue
The Interview
Authors Note: I got this idea while reading a fanfic by BluvsE4everandever-xoxo
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Me: First I would like to thank you Mr. Cullen, for agreeing to this interview
Edward: Please, call me Edward, and the pleasure is mine, of course
Me: Before, we start, can I get you something to drink, these interviews tend to last awhile?
Edward: Well thank you for your offer, but I thought you understood I was a vegetarian, and besides, if I accepted your offer, who would be left to conduct the interview?
Me: (nervous chuckle) heee heee, oh, right, I almost forgot you were ahhhh, what is the politically correct word these days . . .
Edward: I believe the word you are looking for is Nihb.
Me: No, I don't think that was the word I was looking for, but what does that mean?
Edward: Nihb is what we call ourselves; those who Never Indulge in Human Blood, Nihb.
Me: So, out of the entire Vampire population, about what percentage would you estimate are Nihbs?
Edward: I would guess, less then 5 percent of population is a practicing Nihb. I would wager somewhere between 10-15 percent of the population is a Sihb.
Me: Sihb?
Edward: Sometimes Indulging in Human Blood
Me: Okay then.
Me: Since Ms. Meyer wrote a section your biography, you have obtained a certain level of stardom here in the United States, how has that changed you?
Edward: Well, since the public has been alerted to my driving habits, I have received a few speeding tickets, and the IRS is trying to collect back taxes from 1918, hey do you know of a good CPA or lawyer – I mean isn't there a statute of limitations on taxes, and technically speaking by any definition of the law, I am dead – unless they are now saying you can't get out of taxes even if you are dead?
Me: Oh, no, but perhaps after the show you can talk to our producers, I know they have some good lawyers, I had to sign a few long waivers before they would let me interview you.
Me: So the question that is on the mind of all your fans, is there really a Bella?
Edward: Yes, of course there is a Bella, I am not that creative.
Me: Why have you not been seen with her in public? The tabloids have certainly taken their share of photographs of you?
Edward: Well, at first it was because we signed an exclusive agreement with Ms. Meyer that Bella would not be photographed until after the third book in the biography was published, this way she would be able to maintain a certain level of surprise as to whether Bella becomes a Vampire or not.
Me: It's been almost a year since Breaking Dawn was published, why the secrecy now?
Edward: About a year ago, Bella and I signed a contract with MTV reality productions, to star in our own reality show, Loving Dracula. Bella, will make her first public appearance on that show, which will air in MTV's September lineup. This will be a great show, the cameras followed Bella and I around in our every-day life for six months. It will truly give the public insight on just how tough it is to be a Nihb, and it will profile prejudices we face in the vampire and human populations alike.