Oliver entered the lair after leaving Laurel at her apartment and was met with the sight of Felicity staring at the punching bag. She wasn't crying as she had been the entire day, she just sat there unmoving. He called her name, but received no response. He walked to her and knelt next to her chair, but she didn't turn to face him.
'Hey... Felicity' he said as he gently placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. She said nothing, but closed her eyes and laid her head on his hand. Oliver just waited; Felicity didn't need to be pushed to express herself. His eyes trailed over her face and defeated posture. Seeing her so sad and devoid of her usual light made something inside him ache, much like the ache he felt from losing Sara.
'You know, Sara tried so many times to train me when she was here, the last time she even said I was improving.' She huffed to herself, 'But that was before Slade, God I hadn't seen her in so long.' Felicity paused and glanced over to meet Oliver's eyes. 'I'm sorry, I don't even know what I'm rambling on about. My thoughts are such a mess. I'm just so sad...you would think I wouldn't be sad about this, well of course I'd be sad, someone died, but I didn't think I would feel such a feeling of loss. I didn't even know her for that long'
'Felicity, she was your friend, it doesn't matter how long you knew her.'
'She was our friend... she was your Sara...Oliver she didn't deserve this! She wasn't done.'
'I know. I don't even know why she was in Starling. She showed up at the fight arena, she seemed well, fighting as usual, even gave me some advice. I wanted her to stay...I didn't know that was the last time...'
Felicity stood up and before Oliver could even react, he felt her small arms wrap firmly around him, he hesitated for just a moment before letting himself relax into her embrace. The weight on his shoulders had suddenly felt all the heavier after they buried Sara, with everyone looking to him as leader. He would find whoever was behind this and would make them pay. But just for a moment he allowed himself to grieve. Oliver dropped his head to press a kiss into Felicity's hair and let her comforting scent embrace him like her arms. He had to be strong in front of Laurel and Captain Lance, but he couldn't keep it up anymore. He felt like he had lost Sara so many times already, on the Gambit, the Amazo and more recently to the League of Assassins when she drank that poison. But she was a fighter, she always survived and came back, yet Oliver knew that there was no coming back from this.
'Oliver' Felicity said as she pulled away slightly but still remained in his arms, 'we need to tell Sin, Sara was like a sister to her.'
'Yeah, Roy said he was going to stop by there tonight...he'll probably take her to the grave. '
Felicity merely hummed in acknowledgement before sighing and taking a step back.
'I think I'll head home now, I doubt I'll be able to, but we need to try to sleep, especially with Nyssa expected to arrive tomorrow.'
Oliver nodded in agreement, his expression darkening for just a moment, and looked around the cold lair, silent except for the hum of Felicity's babies.
'Oliver...' Felicity looked up at him suddenly unsure and self-conscious, 'Why don't you come stay at my place tonight...you shouldn't be alone here'
Oliver didn't reply immediately and Felicity winced 'You know what, never mind. It was silly of me to suggest, you've heard enough of my rambling for one night, I'm sure you need your space...I'll just leave you to...'
Oliver stepped closer taking both her hands in his, 'Felicity...Thank you, and I'd like that.'
That night Oliver and Felicity sat on her couch remembering their fallen friend, Oliver had more stories to tell, many which had her wishing she knew Sara from before.
'She was a hero...I hope she knew that.' Felicity whispered at about 4 in the morning as she let exhaustion take over. Oliver wrapped his arms tighter around her shoulders pulling her against his chest. They needed some comfort tonight.
'She really was...' Oliver whispered after a little while, thinking about Sara's last piece of advice for him. He looked down at Felicity's sleeping form, finally looking at peace. He knew he was being selfish, not being with her, but still wanting to keep her so embedded in his life. He couldn't imagine his life without her, but more than that he knew he would never be able to survive mourning her, especially if it was his fault. But now he was his mask, he couldn't be Oliver Queen and he didn't know how to be both at the same time. Oliver kept replaying the events of the last 24 hours in his mind, before finally allowing his eyes to close as the first streams on morning light fell upon them.
