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Teddy Lupin opened the book and blew off some dust. A letter fell to the ground. Throwing the book aside he picked up the letter. Teddy cocked his head. He recognized the neat cursive writing as his father's near perfect penmanship. He smiled and then it faded. The letter it was addressed to him.
Teddy,
If you are reading this then I am afraid I am no longer with you. When you were born there was a war on. I can only hope that it is over now and that your childhood has been a happy one in a more peaceful world. I am only sorry that I am not part of that.
When you were born Teddy, it was the happiest moment in my life. Growing up I never dreamed I would have a family of my own. You changed my world, for however long I was with you, and I thank you for that.
You may no that for a time I did not want to be your father. No I don't suppose that is the right way to say it. I was afraid. I was terrified. Voldemort himself did not scare me so much as the thought of what I might do to you or your mother. How could you ever have wanted me for a father being what I am?
You may not know this Teddy but I have or rather had lycanthropy. I am, sorry was, a werewolf. Every full moon I would transform into a horrible monster, losing all sense of myself. The wolfsbane potion would allow me to keep my sanity but as you may know I was rather poor. Due to much prejudice in our world I found it difficult to find a job.
The thought that I could pass this on to you genetically filled me with a great and impending fear. And if I didn't, what would you think of me? What if you were ashamed? Even if neither were the case what if I attacked you or your mother? I could never live with that.
I love the two of you Teddy. In my death and in my life this would never change. I hope you know that Teddy. The first time I held you in my arms I was giddy. You looked up me and your hair turned the most brilliant shade of turquoise that I had ever seen. I laughed so hard. You were so like your mother.
I have not much I can leave you except for this note. I would give you all the gold in Gringotts if I could Teddy, but alas I can not. I hope you do not hate me for leaving you so young. I hope this letter never has to find you my dear little boy. I would like to spend many happy years with you, so many.
I am sorry Teddy. You are everything and more to me you and your mother. Perhaps your grandmother and godfather will tell you about me. I hope you will stay out of mischief. I am sure your godfather will be all too happy to tell you about my teenage escapades. But I have not been a teenager for many years. Good old Mooney has settled down.
I love you Teddy, a million times I love you. I can only hope you never have to find this note but if you do and I am gone know this. I will never ever leave you. As pathetic and corny it sounds I am always with you.
Love Dad
Remus John Lupin
There were dried tear stains on the letter as eleven year old Teddy read it. He traced his father's handwriting carefully and sighed. The sound of footsteps could be heard coming up the attic steps. He hurriedly stuffed the note in his robe pocket.
"Lumos." A wand light appeared. "Teddy mate, are you up here?"
Teddy wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "Yeha."
The grey haired wizard sat beside him. "Are you okay son?" Teddy nodded.
"Dad?"
"Yes Ted?"
"Did you almost die in the war?"
Remus let out a slight gasp. He inched closer to his son. He reached out to put a hand on his son's shoulder but pulled back at the last second. "Why, why would you ask that?"
Teddy pulled out the letter from his robes. He handed it to his father. Remus gulped. "Did you know dad, the last battle. Did you know you could die?"
Remus closed his eyes and nodded mutely.
"But you still went?"
There was a moment of silence and then…. "Yes Teddy. I wanted it all to be over. I wanted you and your mother to live in a better world. I didn't want to leave, well maybe a little. Once a marauder, always a marauder. I needed the adventure, to fill useful again. But I did want to give you a better life. Maybe it would have been better without me………"
Teddy shook his head. "No dad please don't say that. You're great, the best honest."
Remus gave a rye smile. "You're very kind Teddy but am far from being a great father." Teddy shook his head.
"I love you dad. You're awesome honest."
"You're not ashamed of me?"
"Why would I be?" Remus gazed at his son's earnest face so full of honesty.
"What have I ever been able to give you to do for you? Teddy you deserve much better then this. If your mother were not employed we would have nothing. And you are young. I worry what will be said at Hogwarts. You do not know the prejudice that could be waiting for you. You have never seen me outside our little group. I shutter to think of what you will have to deal with."
"But dad you're a war hero and Harry says you're the best Defense teacher he ever had."
Remus sighed. "Harry is biased I am afraid. As for being a war hero I am afraid my lycanthropy will always come up in people's minds before whatever service I have done."
Teddy's hair turned a brought shade of red orange. He gave a huff. "That's not fair. Is that why nobody will hire you?"
"I am afraid so."
"That's such a load of rubbish. You're brilliant dad, bloody brilliant. Mom told me you were a perfect. Why are people so, so prejudice?"
Remus gave his son an eyeing glance. He really was an amazing young man. "People are afraid of me, of that part of me. They are always afraid of what they do not understand. And even I'll be the first to admit many werewolves have given them reason enough."
"But you aren't scary dad, well maybe when I'm in trouble, but so is Molly opps Mrs. Weasley" He added as an afterthought.
"You have never seen me transformed Teddy."
Teddy looked at his lap. "Sometimes I hear you though and I was scared of it. I never used to know what it was until you and mom told me. It scares me but not for me. I worry sometimes…"
Remus lifted his son's chin to meet his gaze. "That I'll escape and hurt you or your mother?"
Teddy looked down again. "No that you won't come back. That you'll stay like that or die maybe while your transformed, maybe while transforming. Or what if you go back to normal but then your mind is gone?" Teddy was crying. "I'd hate that."
Remus looked at his son, such a remarkable boy. He held him close. "That won't happen."
Teddy pulled away. "What if it does? Dad this letter proves it. I almost lost you once, I don't want to really do it. What if it does happen? Dad what if something goes wrong?"
"You sound like your grandmother."
"Grandma worries about you. I thought at first she didn't like you?"
Remus chuckled. "She likes me better now. And I was talking about my mum."
"Did I know her?" Remus shook his head.
"No she died not long after I graduated. Her and my father…. Killed by death eaters."
"I'm sorry dad."
"Me too. You would have loved them. They would have been half crazed about you. My mum always worried I would never be allowed to have kids, the ministry the way it is, far worse back then."
Teddy sighed. "They really are that bad?"
"They were. Things have been better since the war, but still many like me do not have kids. I am…" he paused… "a rare breed."
Teddy smiled. "I'm glad. I'm glad I have you."
"As am I Teddy. As am I?"
Teddy yawned. "Dad?"
"MMMM?"
"I love you."
"I love you to Teddy." But Teddy was already asleep his hair identical to his father's streaked with grey."
"Cheeky." Remus pulled Teddy to his lap. How lucky he was. He could have died that night and he would never get to be this close to his son. He would have loved watching the boy yes. Remus sighed. But he would miss the interaction with his son.
Remus picked up his son and carried him down the stairs. "Is he alright?"
Tonks came up, her hair a lovely shade of pink. Remus nodded toward the bedroom. He put his son on the bed and covered him up.
"He found my letter from that night, the letter." Tonks sighed.
"What did he say?"
"We talked for awhile. I don't think I've ever been more proud to have him for a son."
Tonks hugged Remus and brought his hands to her belly. "How'd you like another baby?"
"Bloody, you don't mean?"
Tonks beamed. Remus kissed her fervently. He really had never been happier.
