Disclaimer: You know the drill... Paramount owns them, I borrow, la la..Sarah McLaughlin (did I even spell that right, I wonder?) owns the lyrics to "Will You Remember Me?"
It was like a breath of fresh air. It was like a soothing bath-warm, and steamy. It was like the first time I had ever tasted raktajino- exhilarating. His kiss was all that to me- and yet so much more.
"Kathryn." I remembered the way Chakotay said it.. I'd always been able to detect just a hint of attraction in his deep bass tones. But with Kashyk it rolled off the tongue just as easily as water off a duck's back, and with so much more than just a simple, unspoken attraction.
Four years since my last kiss, I'd been hungry for companionship, it seemed. Or perhaps even more that that. His touch alone had been enough to send shivers up my spine. To be in the same room with him was reward enough for a hard days work... or even several hard days.
With Chakotay I'd felt that, but somehow it had been different. Just by a degree, yet there it was- difference. And my only reminder of it was the scent of him on my chair, my hands, my uniform- the taste of musk and betrayal on my lips. I wanted to forget that taste, but somehow I found that I couldn't. I couldn't forget him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by.
Weep not for the memories"
-Sarah McLaughlin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her face haunted my mind still, her unmistakable voice echoing in my ears. Her name on my lips. That moment in Voyager's launch bay, when I'd looked deep into her eyes, I'd almost given up. No Devore- no woman in the quadrant- had eyes that strikingly blue. Not quite the blue of the oceans back home, yet bluer than even the lights of the Kolyan Kolyar. Infinite beauty seemed to fit her description- that was, in fact, the only description worthy.
Her kiss had been hurried, desperate, as if she was afraid of losing me as she knew she would. I found it difficult to believe that after days of hating me, and what I stood for, she could so easily be swayed. But as we relaxed, she relaxed, and I could feel her soul giving way to years of personal torment- I'd gotten the idea that she'd been years without true companionship- and I'd wanted nothing more at that moment than to give it to her. It had been years for myself, since I'd last kissed a woman, and to have Kathryn be that woman was that which nearly made me give in, and give up everything I stood for. I'd almost betrayed- for an alien woman- and although it had angered me, it may have almost been worth it. For beauty like that, and a soul with such depth and humanity, humanity that I knew I would never find again- in any quadrant.
And my memory is long.
No regrets, Kathryn.
Not even the kiss.