Requested by and for Chibi Emo-chan. To her, thanks for all the support and reading Lelouch of the Condo 11!
Title: All Thanks to Beer
Rating: T for safety and slight language from Gilbert. (Violence from Elizaveta's frying pan?)
Genre: Friendship
Summary: AU Gilbert was a violent drunk. Elizaveta was, too. They were a perfect pair. Maybe beer could transform them into best friends like before. Like nothing changed between them. And a lot already did.
Status: Oneshot. Complete.
Length: 1, 830 words. Not including Author's Notes.
Gilbert Beilschmidt blundered down the sidewalk at about eleven-thirty at night.
It was nearly midnight when he had gotten kicked out of the bar he had last been to. Tonio and Francis were still inside drinking joyfully without him, Gilbert even thought sourly.
At least the barman had shoved him out the doors when he still had a bottle in his hand.
Gilbert tilted the bottle to his lips. After standing there in the dark without anything coming out to drink in a while, he realized that the bottle was empty.
"Lousy," he grumbled, tossing the bottle away. It broke on the pavement behind him will a dull thud as the glass shards hit the ground.
Gilbird chirped on its owner's head.
"Yeah, aweshum Gilbird, that's it. You won't ever leave me, will you?"
The bird chirped again as Gilbert tried to eye it. His eyes were half-closed.
Gilbert reached up to pat the bird, a small yellow ball of soft feathers.
"Now... I want more beer!" Gilbert yelled, drunk. There was no one to hear him. No one would hear him, anyway.
He dragged his feet lazily on the sidewalk, passing dark houses. He suddenly turned when he reached a lawn, someone's front yard, and stumbled towards it. He climbed over the low fence clumsily and collapsed onto the grass.
"The stars are so pretty, right, Gilbert Beilschmidt the Awesome the Second? But they're not as awesome as me!"
He cackled, arms raised above his head. He threw his head back and sighed.
"I'm - I'm -"
Gilbert lay on his back, watching the night sky.
x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x
Elizaveta Héderváry yawned sleepily. She dumped her empty glass in the kitchen sink carelessly, ignoring the noisy clank it made as it collided with a metal pot filled with dirty water.
Might as well wash them all tomorrow, she thought.
She was half-out of the kitchen when she heard someone cackle.
"Stupid burglars," she muttered, returning to the kitchen and grabbing her ever-trusty frying pan from its peg on the wall. She carefully pushed aside her curtains and peeked out the window, no longer groggy.
What she saw surprised her. Elizaveta's eyes widened to see a strange albino man asleep on her front lawn. There was a small yellow bird beside him too. It looked like a small chicken.
Deciding that he was either a drunkard or a homeless man, Elizaveta was about to shoo him away but didn't. He was just a troublemaker. She glared at him from the safety of her kitchen through her window one last time before gripping the handle of the frying pan tightly and exiting her home stealthily in big strides.
She approached the man cautiously. A voice on the back of her mind warned her that he was dangerous. She pushed the voice away and narrowed her eyes at him. He was just a nuisance on the lawn. No one could harm Elizaveta Héderváry. No one.
When she saw his face and his pet bird staring up at her with its beady eyes, she dropped her frying pan.
Its fall was muffled by the newly cut grass and the soft soil beneath.
x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x
Gilbert groaned. He squinted as he got up slowly, scratching his head. He grimaced as he grabbed at his own silvery hair and blinked.
"Gilbird...?"
The mentioned bird chirped from a table beside him.
"Ah. Gilbird! You're so soft... " He grabbed the bird and cooed at it. It ruffled its wings happily.
"You're awake now,"
Gilbert turned his head to the figure who spoke. It stood on the other side of the room. It was a woman. She stared at him, arms crossed over her chest, holding him in a strong gaze. Gilbert could sense a bit of relief and fear in them, but brushed it away.
He was still not fully sober.
"Gah! Who're you? Where'm I?" He brought Gilbird closer to his chest. "Damnit! I'm not afraid of you, woman. Not the awesome me!"
He gave a drunk cackle.
Elizaveta's face contorted into a snarl. She strode towards him quickly, much too quickly, and hit Gilbert on the head with her frying pan with great accuracy. Her grip on it was as tight as ever.
That seemed to sober Gilbert up.
"Ow! Hey! What was that for?"
He rubbed his head. Gilbert grimaced.
"Finally sobered up, huh?"
"Hell, yeah, I did. You didn't have to hit so hard, you kn-"
He stared at Elizaveta with wide eyes. She gave a small smile.
Gilbert stood up from his place on her living room couch and grinned.
"Long time no see, Lizzy! Hey, even though you look like a woman, you sure still don't act like one,"
That earned him another hit from the frying pan.
Gilbert grinned. It was like old times.
"I didn't expect to meet you like this," Gilbert laughed. "Imagine, this is the violent tomboy who thought that she'd eventually grow a-"
Elizaveta whacked him on the head again.
"Yeah, yeah. You're still the same obnoxious kid I knew."
Gilbert grinned at her.
The kid that I knew.
"Hey, what can I say? You were my best friend. Besides Tonio and Francis, that is."
Elizaveta blushed.
"R - right... "
Gilbert laughed again. Elizaveta glared at him, not choosing to hit him at that moment. Her fingers twitched and she gripped the handle of her frying pan tighter, though.
"So, how're you doing, Lizzy? By the looks of this house, you must be rich or something! Where is all this money coming from? What do you do for a living?"
Elizaveta flushed again.
"Don't call me Lizzy, Gilbert. And, no, I am not rich. I'm a businesswoman and I'm currently engaged to a man named Roderich. What have you accomplished in life, Gilbert?" She said the last sentence with a snort.
Gilbert's smile faltered at the mention of "engaged" but continued grinning.
"I never thought anyone would want to marry you! I bet he won't last,"
Elizaveta frowned.
"Roderich is a very fine man! He's a musician and a great pianist. I'm sure he's accomplished much more than you!" She glared at Gilbert with contempt.
Gilbert's expression darkened for a bit. Elizaveta kept silent. They stared at each other for a while.
"A pianist? He must be a pansy, Lizzy!"
"He's not a pansy! And don't call me Lizzy, Gilbert."
"Why can't I call you Lizzy, Lizzy?"
"Because - Because you can't. You just can't."
"Why can't I? Aren't I your best friend? Aren't I the awesomest guy in the world?"
Elizaveta let out a groan of frustration. Gilbert just loved to push her buttons, didn't he?
"Gilbert," she finally said, exasperated. "You dropped out of my life when we reached highschool. Through college and after that we didn't ever get in touch. And, now... And - And-"
She covered her face with her hand. "And I found you on my lawn asleep. You were drunk, weren't you? Not exactly the best kind of reunion. What do you expect me to do?"
Gilbert gave a sad smile.
"Well, life's like that, isn't it?"
Elizaveta sighed.
"I suppose it is."
She eyed her former best friend critically.
"Were you kicked out of a bar?"
Gilbert shrugged.
"Come on, Lizzy," he grinned as she glared at him for using the nickname that she oh-so despised. "Enjoy life. It's full of both unpleasant and pleasant surprises."
Elizaveta smiled.
"Yeah, full of surprises. What are you up to now, anyway? And since when did you become slightly philosophical or so?"
Gilbert shrugged again.
Probably not the best time to tell her that he was suffering from an incurable disease and spent his days gallivanting and getting drunk with his friends Tonio and Francis to make the most out of them, Gilbert thought.
"Is Ludwig still with you?"
"Yeah. He's a workaholic." Gilbert laughed as he recalled his memories of his younger brother. "But he usually goes with this clingy Italian friend of his. Another one's a Japanese guy who cooks awesome food,"
"I see."
"Hey," Gilbert said, perking up. Elizaveta stared at him curiously. "Maybe we can have a beer sometime, Lizzy. You know, catch up on stuff. It's been so long,"
Elizaveta smiled again.
"Sure!"
Gilbert could be a violent drunk. Elizaveta was a violent one, too. They were a perfect pair. Maybe beer could transform them into best friends like before. Like nothing ever changed between them. Because a lot had already did.
"So... "
"Yeah,"
Gilbird chirped.
"Alright, I'm tired. And I'm pretty sure that I'll be getting a hangover tomorrow. I'm getting a headache."
"You're going to have liver problems, Gilbert."
That was the least of his worries.
"Whatever, Lizzy."
"...Hmph."
Gilbert laughed with half-lidded eyes. Gilbird chirped again.
A few minutes later, Elizaveta was busy draping a blanket over a sleeping Gilbert. Gilbird lay in a soft yellow ball on his chest.
She smiled.
There was something about that "Best Buddies Forever" pact that they made a long time ago that made it through.
Hell, if their friendship could survive anything, then...
Elizaveta nodded. She decided that it was now easier to invite Gilbert to her wedding with Roderich. She knew that they wouldn't get along very well, though. Gilbert could and would annoy everyone. He especially wasn't the like to mingle with people like Roderich.
She gazed at a picture of her beloved Roderich Edelstein on the mantelpiece of another table not far away fondly.
"Goodnight, Gil."
Gilbert Beilschmidt snored in response a little bit past twelve midnight.
I cannot write His Awesomeness! Neither can I write Elizaveta...
I feel like Gilbert and Eli are so OOC! And is this even friendship? I don't know. I don't usually write these two.
And the title... I just didn't know what to name it. XD
Review?