Author Notes:
This story follows "Sirius Black and the Divination Incident". It's a bit OOC and I know that some things in this story wouldn't probably be possible, considering that there are still teachers at Hogwarts, but - I had fun. And hope you have fun, too! :-)
Yappity Yap did the betas, because she's one of the nicest persons in the known universe (Blast! Can't top that in the next credits, sigh ...) and I would NEVER get Mi another beta wolf. Aouuuhh!
And all belongs to JKR!
Mi
A Hogwarts Paranoia
Two weeks before Christmas:
"JAMES! James, James ... guess what!" Sirius Black shouted all the way through the Great Hall. He ran over to the Gryffindor table and skidded to a halt, almost knocking over James' chair.
"James ..." Sirius panted, collapsing heavily beside him.
James Potter gave him a most bemused look before he closed his Transfiguration book. "Whee, Black. That's my name alright. You got free tickets for the Quidditch World Cup or -"
"Better. Way better!" Sirius grinned from ear to ear. "I'm staying at Hogwarts over Christmas."
James made a questioning face. "And that's better? How come? Well, I know you're not keen on seeing your family but none of us stays. I don't see -"
"I'm not alone."
James raised his eyebrows over the rim of his glasses. "You've got a girl-"
"Snape stays too."
"Eww. Come again?"
"Come on - think! It's the perfect opportunity for another of my", he paused for drama and lowered his voice, "special pranks."
"You do remember the last one, do you? The one where you ended up kissing Snape?"
Sirius' smile dropped. "We. Do. Not. Speak. Of. This."
"Oh - but we found it very amusing." James grinned broadly.
"Did we?"
"Besides, doesn't Snape usually stay with the Malfoys over Christmas?"
"Not this time." Sirius was back on the subject. "They were invited by one of those old wizarding families. And of course they won't bring a freak like Snape along."
"Which old wizarding family do we speak of?"
Sirius shrugged. "Mine."
"Oh."
"Anyway -"
"I don't know, Sirius. It's Christmas after all. Why don't you stay with me over the holidays?"
Sirius made a dismissive gesture and James tried again. "You'll get presents!"
"Good cue - would you lend me the cloak? Please? And -"
"Did you hear what I said?"
"Of course he didn't," Remus Lupin's voice cut in. "He's got that look that says: I'm way beyond help, please find my brain scattered over the North Pole," he made a show of scanning Sirius expertly, "on Mars. What's up?" He took a chair on the other side of James. He didn't seem too curious, though. But before Sirius could feel properly offended by his friend's lack of interest, he jumped up.
"Hey there he is! Look - he's in a hurry."
James pulled him back down. "So? He's going somewhere - like everybody else. You have to come off it!"
"He's planning something. I can smell it."
"Hey, I'm the wolf here," Lupin said laughing. "Don't you steal my best lines."
"Oh, don't you encourage him. Cut it out, Sirius! I mean it. You are getting seriously paranoid, man."
"But -"
James cut him with a look. Sirius stared sulkily back and then managed to free himself from James' grip.
"I have to go. Bye," he huffed, hurrying out of the hall with flying robes.
"Let me guess ...," Remus started.
"Exactly!"
"Not good."
"Not at all."
***
Fifteen minutes later:
"SEVERUS!"
"Don't yelp into my ear, Goyle! I can hear perfectly with you standing right next to me."
Severus Snape took a step forward to put some distance between Goyle and himself. He stuffed away 'Arithmancy - Logic or Magic?', while Goyle was catching his breath - most likely from running all the way down to the library.
"Sorry," Goyle whispered, almost unhearable, and Severus rolled his eyes.
"What is it, Goyle? I mean besides your obvious lack of subtlety and wit."
The other boy frowned sulkily. "Lucius told you not to speak to me like that."
"Did he?" Severus glared and Goyle dropped his gaze immediately. "Then I think I have to change my tone, right?"
Goyle looked up again, seemingly pleased with this apology, and Severus resisted the urge to sneer. "Don't know what sarcasm is, do you?" he hissed under his breath.
"What?"
"Nothing. So?"
"Oh, right! Lucius sent me to tell you that Black stays at Hogwarts."
"Well?"
"Er."
"That's no big news, Goyle. I didn't think he'd ever get expelled. Not with that dunderhead Dumbledore in charge."
"Oh. I mean, he stays over the holidays ... over Christmas. At Hogwarts. In Hogwarts. Where you are."
Severus froze, unable to reply. The only time he would have had for himself, and Black had to ruin it. This was just not fair! Blast him! BLAST -
"You all right?"
"Sure I am. Black stays over Christmas - so what?"
"But none of us will be here. Won't you need -"
"No, I won't. I can handle Black well on my own." But he thought that this was probably not as easily done as said. Black had been extremely bad-tempered after their last encounter in Divination class. So he would probably try to raise heaven and hell to beat Severus this time. Or to beat him up, more like. But now that he knew about it, he would get prepared ...
"You can go now. I have lots of work to do until the holidays start. Tell Lucius I see him later."
Goyle left and Severus searched for another book. After ten minutes he'd found it, and with a twisted smile he pulled it out of its shelf. Black would so get a taste of his own medicine.
***
Two weeks and two days later:
"Anything of the trolley, dears?"
"NO!" James and Lucius shouted unisono. They had been glaring at each other for some time now - and if it hadn't been for the trunks and owl cages ...
"Very well. If none of you wants anything - go and step aside then. You are blocking the corridor. Go and get yourselves seats, boys! It's not as if the train's crowded. Not as if I'm going to make any profit anyway." The usually friendly trolley-witch didn't sound very friendly. She tapped her foot unpatiently, and when the two boys didn't make any attempt to move anywhere in the near future, she determinedly shoved them into the nearest compartment, shutting the door behind them.
"Didn't you like your family-trip, Malfoy? You're early," James snapped. "Holidays are ending in three days. What are you doing on this train?"
Lucius sniffed. "As if you wouldn't know, Potter. It's not only sheepy Gryffindor idiots that take care of their own."
James frowned. So Malfoy had decided to look after Snape. Well, James had had the same idea, but the Marauders were family. And James hadn't got a single letter from Sirius.
"And to answer your first question, Potter. I had the best holidays of my life," Lucius said haughtily. "I truly can't understand how such a formidable family as the Blacks could spawn someone as ordinary as ...," he searched for the right word, but couldn't bring himself to say Sirius. " ... Black," he finished lamely.
"He's the black sheep of the family," James retorted, sadly aware that this wasn't the best of witty comments either.
Lucius ignored it. He was still thinking about this very attractive girl he'd met, who turned out to be a fifth-year Slytherin and captain of the Quidditch team. He had of course seen her around, but he'd never - well - consciously noticed girls. As such. And he never paid much attention to Quidditch - well, he would from now on. "And they have such a sensible approach to the Dark Arts -"
"Excuse me! I'm not interested in family gossip from the Malfoys or the Blacks."
Lucius gave him an appraising look. "I take it you noticed that McGonagall is on the train, too. That means - no hexing. Let's make this agreement, then. I'm moving to the front and you stay at the back. That way we don't have to see each other until we arrive at Hogsmeade."
"You're afraid of losing points?" James smirked.
"I'm just afraid I might damage you, Potter. And then you wouldn't be able to patch up your dim-witted friend. I'm sure Severus did a good job on him."
"We'll see. But why would you be interested in him being patched up? I wouldn't bother for Snape."
"Perhaps you might be interested in some new family gossip from the Malfoys and the Blacks after all. Because ... your friend might be family soon."
James opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out, and after a moment of unhidden satisfaction Lucius left with a victorious grin on his face.
***
James was on his way to the common room, when he saw Finn Avery coming straight at him with ... enormous speed.
"Hey, Finn!" he called out to the other fourth-year Gryffindor. He grabbed Finn's arm just to stop him and was nearly swept of his feet.
"Whoa ... Finn. What's up? Did you see Sirius?"
He got a horrified look but no answer. James thought that he'd probably squeezed the boy's arm too tight. "Sorry, Finn. I didn't -" But to James' amazement, Avery - just ran away.
"What was all that about?" he muttered to himself, speeding up his pace. He suddenly had a very bad feeling.
"PIGLET!" he called in front of the Gryffindor portrait. But suddenly, a dark figure jumped out of the nearest broom closet, bearing him face first to the ground and then dragging him without a word into the cupboard.
First he was too shocked to react, but when he found his voice again, the small room began to shake. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? YOU TOUCH ME AGAIN AND I'LL CURSE YOU FROM HERE TO -"
"Shhhhhh ... it's me," the figure whispered sharply.
James gaped. He knew that voice as well as his own.
"Sirius? What are you doing? Damn! You hurt my ... never mind. And my hair!"
"Shhhhhh ... he will hear you."
"Whmpf-" Sirius clamped his hands over his friend's mouth but James decided that he had quite enough of this lunacy. He pushed Sirius back and pulled out his wand. "LUMOS!"
But the light didn't make it any better. On the contrary. James looked into the face of an utterly bewildered Sirius Black. His blue eyes were as big as saucers, his hair was greasy - of all things - and he most definitely had lost weight.
"What happened here?" James grabbed Sirius by the shoulders. "What did Snape do to you?"
"Do? Nothing. Yet. I didn't give him a chance to. I was on guard."
James shook his head sheepishly. "Nothing? What's that supposed to mean? You look like shit!"
"I layed boobytraps," Sirius replied without any sign of listening, and James suddenly got a very lively and frightening image of what Avery had been running from.
"Boobytraps?"
"In the common room. That's why I stopped you from entering. But don't worry. I've made a map of all my hidden devices."
"Hidden devices."
"Oh, come on! You know what I mean."
"Frankly: no. Jesus -" But Sirius already dragged him unceremoniously out of the cupboard. "What is it now?"
"Let's go down to the hall. We have to be among other people. So he can't single us out."
"Perhaps we should go down to St Mungo's," James suggested. "We have to be among competent people who can deal with this." Ah, well. Not that Sirius was by any chance listening to him.
***