Authors Note: So this is the Quinntana idea I had, I'm not sure what to think of it. I know there aren't that many Quinntana fics out there, so I decided to write a pilot chapter. If you guys like it, I'll continue writing, read away! If you have any questions, feel free to ask (:
I'm Good, I'm Gone
Chapter One – Lost and Found
Steaming black liquid pooled just beneath the brim of the cheap porcelain cup, condensation collecting at the edges as the heat from the liquid serenaded with the cool air of the room. Slender, pale fingers wrapped around the small confines of the cup in an attempt to preserve some sort of warmth from the small beverage, waiting for the liquid to cool before drinking it. Black painted, shortly cropped fingernails tapped inconsistently against the porcelain of the cup, the motions were edgy, shaky and suspicious – almost as if it were an action to refrain from doing something else.
"Excuse me, Miss; can I get you anything else?" A fairly young brunette waitress approached the edgy figure seated in the corner of the small coffee shop, a placid smile painted across her average complexion.
Short pink hair was tussled as the customer shook her head in response, clearly not bothered with a verbal reply, hoping the waitress would take her answer and leave her be.
Instead, the waitress, seeming a little too curious about her customer, decided to edge closer towards the table. "You know, some food would probably help that hangover of yours, it usually helps me –"
Familiar pale fingers clenched around the small porcelain cup in frustration, not having the slightest care if the cheaply made thing might just crumble beneath her deathly grip. "I said no". She lifted her head slightly, her hair falling out of view from her face – revealing perfectly flawless pale, creamy skin, full pink lips and an almost model-like facial structure. It was her eyes that really told her story, hazel eyes that held a thousand words and a hundred stories, stories of tragedy and loss, of love and friendship. Hazel eyes that that looked ever so tired, exhausted, enhanced by the ever darkening circles beneath her eyes. If her features were studied long enough you could almost break through the model-like exterior and see the exhaustion that really masked her features.
The waitress stood there for a moment, seemingly in shock at the tone of the girls' voice – she obviously hadn't been expecting that sort of a response, but what did a nagging coffee waitress really expect? Without hesitating she awkwardly turned on her heels and began padding back behind the counter, the sound of her tennis shoes tapping against the linoleum of the floor as she made her way back, leaving the obviously agitated customer alone once again.
Quinn took a deep breath, inhaling slowly before exhaling slowly; releasing the tightening grip she had on her cooling cup of coffee. She reached into the chest pocket of her dark denim jacket, retrieving two white pills, placing them onto her now salivating tongue before taking a thirsty mouthful of the coffee. A small smile tugged at the corners of her full pink lips as she felt the pills go down with ease, as well as the warming sensation of feeling the hot liquid heating her from the inside out.
Her body visibly eased within seconds; her shoulders relaxed slightly as her fingers eventually began to stop irrationally tapping against any hard surface they could gain contact with. She reached back into her pocket, searching for something before pulling out a slightly crumpled up plane ticket, reading: 'Atlanta Airways'.
She had booked the flight which would land in Ohio at 05:30am, reasoning with herself that it would be the best time to arrive back to Lima. She could creep back into her house, and hopefully her mother wouldn't notice she was back until she had gotten a few hours of sleep at least, then she could deal with the hour long lectures she was sure to receive from the panicking blonde.
It wasn't Quinn's first choice – to fly back home. She had all but two choices; use the rest of her money to fly back home, or use the rest of her money in Atlanta doing God knows what she could find to keep herself amused, all the while having no safe place to stay, or any food to keep her going. She figured the first choice was the most sensible, so she went ahead and booked the cheapest flight, luckily for her the timing was perfect.
Quinn placed the plane ticket back into her pocket, making sure it was safe before pulling her hand out and wrapping her fingers around the coffee cup once again, she lifted it and quickly downed the rest of the black liquid as her hazel eyes flickered over towards the counter. The agitating brunette waitress seemed to be pre-occupied with another customer placing their order at the till. Quinn took this as her queue to leave, grabbing her duffle back and heading out of the in-airport coffee shop and heading towards the terminals to board the plane.
The plane journey seemed to fly by for Quinn, instead of enduring the stench of the economy class atmosphere, the ear-piercing screeching of babies crying and the annoying banter of children bugging their parents and the air hostess', she decided to close her eyes and catch up on some sleep, something she hadn't been getting much of as of late. She woke up a little earlier than she had of liked, but it was more sleep than she thought she would have gotten, so she didn't seem very bothered by it.
Deciding she ought to save the money left over from her plane ticket, she decided to just walk from the airport to her house – Lima was a small town, it wasn't really that far, and she only had one duffle bag to carry along. The small town wasn't really known for rising crime rate either, nothing serious anyway, so she deemed it would be safe to walk the streets in the early hours of the morning – it would be sunrise soon anyway.
As she reached her house, she didn't feel a sense of welcoming, something she assumed she would have felt after being gone for so long. Instead, she felt a sense of abandonment, almost as if she didn't belong here anymore. She didn't feel safe, and exhilarated to be home, she felt exhausted and disorientated to be back. Quinn didn't exactly feel at home before she had left either – part of the reason she had left to begin with - so it didn't really shock her as a surprise, although, she did expect to feel a little excitement to be back. Instead, she felt nothing. Reaching up onto the tips of her toes, she stretched up to reach into a small rounded plant pot hanging from a hook. After brief seconds of digging through moist dirt; she disgustedly pulled her hand away, the metallic key shining under the dim lighting of the autumn sunrise. She slowly inserted the key into the lock, attempting to make little to no noise if possible, she carefully twisted the key anti-clockwise, but instead of hearing the dim clicking sound of the bolt being unlocked – she heard nothing. Assuming it was just little stiff, she tried again, and again, and again until she finally realised it wasn't budging.
"What the fuck" She muttered in frustration. She brought her hand up, her index finger hovering hesitantly over the buzzer, should she call and wake her mom at this time of the morning? Before she could come up with a decision, something seemed to click; her eyes narrowed in speculation as she turned slightly to face the drive. Where's the car? She wondered. She began weighing out possible solutions, but then realised that none of them seemed even remotely believable, so she went ahead and rang the doorbell, hearing the faint buzz twice before she let her hand drop back to her side. After waiting for a few minutes, expecting to hear the padding of her mothers' feet down the stairs and to the door, she heard nothing. She let out a frustrated sigh before walking back down the small steps to the porch.
Now what do I do? She took a moment to think. I guess I could go to school; at least I'd have somewhere to be for the day. But that's not something I think I can do sober right now... She dug her fingers into her jacket pocket, retrieving three small white pills this time, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips as she rolled them over in the palm of her hand before popping them into her mouth and swallowing dry.
By the time she made her way to the school, she still had a while for classes to start, which she took as an advantage. The school was relatively empty as she walked in; mostly just a few teachers roamed the halls preparing for their first class of the day. She headed straight for her locker, twisting in the combination almost subconsciously before popping open the door and lugging in her duffle bag. Luckily for her she hadn't bothered cleaning out her locker from last year, so most of the books she needed were already there – making it look less suspicious for her. God knows how many questions she would have been asked if she turned up a month and a half late for school without any books. She grabbed her folder, stuffing a few things from her duffle bag into it as well as some of her books, before closing her locker and heading towards the girl's toilets.
She dropped her folder onto the counter besides the basins, checking that the room was completely empty by pushing open each of the stalls – which it was. She flicked on the faucet, letting the cool, clear water pool in her hands as she cupped them together before leaning over the basin, gently splashing the water against her face. Her hazel eyes trailed over her complexion in the mirror, tracing over each tiny blemish, each line of fatigue, but what she found herself focusing on in detail were the darkening circles below her eyes. She pulled a few paper towels from the dispenser to wipe the water from her face before throwing them into the trash can. She retrieved her makeup bag from her folder, pulling out the concealer first. Old friend. She thought, as she began to dab it across the blemished skin below her eyes in an attempt to mask her fatigue. After she was somewhat satisfied that she had applied enough makeup she began to pack her things away. The sounds of chatter, laughing and the sounds of the hallways being filled were now echoing through her mind; if it weren't for the three non prescribed pills she had taken earlier she'd be a little over nervous, but due to the tiny white capsules she was feeling free and slightly light headed. Quinn checked herself once over in the mirror, her HBIC expression naturally taking its rightful place upon her complexion, before she grabbed her folder and pushed open the door, taking her first step back into the crowded hallways of McKinely High.
Speculating, questioning, intrigued eyes followed her steps, her each and every movement as she stalked down the familiar hallways. It was something she was all too familiar and accustomed to; whether it be for her HBIC reputation throughout her High School career, for her teen pregnancy, or simply because of the fact that she was just Quinn. So this time around, it didn't feel any different for her, why should it? She knew that she'd gain the attention of the entire student body as soon as she stepped through the doors. Mumbles and whispers could be heard as she passed most of the students, no doubt questioning her whereabouts and her new appearance – she didn't take any notice of it – it was just white sound in the background. That is until a camera and microphone were pushed into her face by none other than Jacob Ben Israel.
"Quinn Fabray, can you comment on the rumours that you dropped out of school to pursue life as a stripper?" He asked enthusiastically as he edged the microphone closer to her mouth, awaiting an answer which he could post on his gossip blog.
Quinn's face faltered for a moment. A stripper? Is that what everyone thinks I've been doing this entire time? She straightened out her expression before raising a brow in speculation. "No comment"
"What about the rumours that you cleared out your moms bank account to go search for bastard baby?" Jacob asked, just as enthusiastically as the last question, reeking of intrigue.
She inwardly sighed, not wanting to show any signs of emotion in front of the camera, or before she knew it the entire school would be reading into any little sign's she was showing in front of the camera, causing questions, speculations and no doubt more rumours to spread like wildfire within the short space of only a few seconds.
"No comment" She answered neutrally before pushing past Jacob's camera guy, continuing to stalk down the corridor. Before she could even get further than ten feet, she heard her name being called once again.
"Miss Fabray" She turned to see Principal Figgins calling her from the door of his office.
Great. She thought sarcastically.
As she headed towards the double glass doors, he disappeared for a few seconds before reappearing with a white sheet of paper. He handed it to her as she reached a closer distance. Hazel eyes trailed over the sheet of paper – it was her timetable for this year.
"It's nice to see you back in school. If I were you I'd steer clear of Miss Sylvester. Something tells me she won't like this new pink here" He said, motioning towards her hair. Even though Quinn was no longer on the Cheerios, Sue still hated past members soiling her 'perfect' image and reputation she worked so hard to uphold, so it wouldn't surprise her in the slightest if Sue popped her cap over the colour of Quinn's hair.
She faked a smile at her overly friendly principle before turning on her heel and walking mindlessly nowhere as she scanned over her timetable once again – she had a two free periods. Great. Usually students would revel in the joys of having free periods – they could leave campus for a few hours, get some work done, hit the gym or just hang out with friends. Quinn had nowhere else to go yet, she hadn't been to any prior lessons, meaning she had no work to do, she didn't really feel like dodging the odds of seeing Coach Sylvester if she headed for the gym and she wasn't even sure where anyone would be at this time.
I'll just roam; it's what I've been getting great at recently, anyway. She thought as she backed away from the row of lockers she had been subconsciously walking towards, as she took two steps back she felt the force of another body collide with her back, hearing the clatter of books being dropped as the covers hit the floor.
"Oh no..." Came an airy sigh of frustration, from which sounded like a girl, who had crashed into her, Quinn just rolled her eyes and continued to head towards the doors, hoping to escape for a while, not bothering to help the girl.
"Quinn?" Quinn stopped in her tracks, her hazel eyes widening slightly. Maybe if I keep walking they won't call out again? She took another step forward, deciding to ignore the familiar voice and keep walking, but much to her dismay she was stopped again as she felt a hand on her shoulder. She inwardly sighed before turning around, her eyes landing on an oh-so familiar face.
"Hey Brittany" Quinn all but breathed out, she would be frustrated but she knew better than almost everyone that being mean towards Brittany was like starving a kitten before using it as a piñata, either that or earning yourself a smackdown from fiery Latina Santana – she didn't think she even had the energy to deal with that right now. She just couldn't bring herself to brush off one of her lifelong friends, especially one as sweet and innocent as Brittany. She did want to make this encounter brief though, to keep it as short as possible.
"It is you!" The blonde squealed over-enthusiastically as she leapt forward, enwrapping Quinn in a vice-like embrace, seeming as though she never wanted to let Quinn out of her grasp for the rest of her living existence.
Quinn awkwardly wrapped her arms around Brittany briefly before letting her arms hover over her figure, deciding it was time to break the physical contact. "Can't breathe" She all but whispered, hoping Brittany could hear.
Her thoughts were answered as Brittany energetically pulled away, her pony swaying with her movements. "I knew you'd come back! I knew you wouldn't leave us! I told everyone!" Her words spilled from her mouth like water – flowing continuously at a pace she couldn't control. Her grin was so big, Quinn was sure she could almost see the tonsils at the back of her throat.
Quinn smiled awkwardly, not knowing what to say or how to explain anything if any questions were asked. She couldn't exactly answer Brittany's questions the way she answered Jacob's miniscule interrogation. "Yeah, I'm back" She mentally kicked herself for answering with an obvious statement. Before the bouncing blonde could ask her any questions, she decided to disappear. "Britt, I'd love to talk but I really have to get to class" Lie.
"That's okay; I have Cheerios practice to get to. Are you coming to Glee club?" She asked as that same ear-splitting grin crept its way across her innocent complexion, hoping to get a positive response from her friend.
Quinn wasn't really sure if she wanted to or not, she subconsciously stood there for a few moments spaced out in her own thoughts as she contemplated the idea. Brittany seemed to notice this and decided to snap her out of her thoughts. "It's during your second period free. I love your hair by the way, it reminds me of cotton candy" She let out an airy giggle before skipping off in the other direction to join the rest of the squad for Cheerios practice.
As soon as Quinn's petite frame had climbed the mountain of bleachers to get to the row at the top, she slumped down, dropping her folder beside her on the white bench. Her right hand came up to dig into that familiar pocket, retrieving only one tiny white capsule this time. She held it between her thumb and forefinger, speculating whether she should take it or not – she had already taken three today, yet she felt absolutely no effect – which she found extremely frustrating. Her mind wandered back to the anxiousness she felt about wondering whether or not Brittany would question her, causing her to ponder on the possibility of anybody else asking her any questions today. At that thought alone she placed the tiny white capsule onto her tongue before swallowing.
She pulled out her iPod and headphones from the side pocket of her jacket, placing the earphones in before hitting the play button. Hazel eyes trailed down each and every step of the bleachers before reaching the fresh green grass, not yet faltered for autumn. Figures in red and white moved in synchronisation at the far end of the field as they practiced their routine and formation. Quinn found herself zoning out to her thoughts once again – something she had been doing more than she would have liked. Her hazel eyes mindlessly trailed the flashes of red and white as they dashed across the field, or pranced with such grace with each and every move – she couldn't deny she missed being on the squad, being the Captain. It had its advantages; she practically ruled the school, could get people to do whatever she wanted, and she got what she wanted when she wanted, she could have had whoever she wanted...
By the time first period had ended, she watched as the football team and the Cheerios cleared their way back into the locker rooms, leaving the field completely empty, except the mass amount of training equipment which was left behind for some helpless individual to pack away. A lazy smile replaced the motionless expression which was painted across fatigue as time passed, with the help of the pill enhancement. Time seemed to fly by after she felt the effects taking place, time around her stood still, as the hands on the clock sped by as if they were cars on a circular race track.
She no longer seemed to care about the rest of her classes, anybody who she might bump into or the fact that she had no idea why she couldn't gain entry into her own house, or why the car was gone before it was time for her mother to leave for work. In fact, she couldn't care less about anything at that very moment, all she seemed to focus on was the low melodic sounds of the bass-line pumping through her earphones and into her system.
All too soon was her trance penetrated by the screeching sound of someone shouting her name up into the high rows of the bleachers. Her eyes lazily flickered down to find the source of the sound, flashes of red and white began to make their way up the steps and towards her. She began to focus on full, plump lips, watching them move but hearing no sounds escape. As the figure got closer, Quinn's vision started to somewhat focus. It was Santana, who else would have the courage to scream her name, then march up to her with such confidence, other than Coach Sylvester that is. The feisty Latina tugged out the white earphones, pulling them up with the iPod until they were clenched between her palm and fingers.
"What are you doing?" Quinn asked, it was the only reasonable thing she could think to say at that moment, her thoughts were still hazy, and she had been dreading facing Santana the most.
"How can you question me about what I'm doing when you're the one who disappeared for three months?! Three months Quinn and nobody knew where you were!" She didn't make an effort to lower her voice now that she was within reaching distance of her; instead her voice seemed to gradually rise with each word she projected, with no intent on lowering it.
"Oh my God, Santana. Will you stop shouting?" Quinn's voice rose this time, not as loud as Santana had been screaming, but loud enough to be deemed loud, for Quinn's tiny voice.
The Latina wasn't one for taking orders or listening to anybody, but her voice seemed to be lowered, just barely for her next outburst. "And what the fuck did you do to your hair, Pink Power Ranger? You don't disappear for three months and suddenly re-appear out of nowhere with pink hair" Her words unintentionally softened towards the end of her outburst, she would probably get little to nothing out of Quinn if she continued shouting at her, but Santana also wasn't the type of person to give up immediately.
Quinn looked up, her hazel eyes briefly locking with Santana's, before she looked away uncomfortably, trying to focus on anything else she could land her eyes on. "I swear to God, if you shout at me one more time I'll push you down those steps" She threatened as she lazily lifted a hand to motion towards the steps Santana had climbed just seconds ago to reach her.
"Finally, Fabray's got her fire back... Or some of it" Santana dismissed her comment, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly, even though she could tell there was something off about Quinn. "Get up; we're going to Glee club"
"We're not. You are." She stated bluntly, keeping her eyes focused on nothing in particular in the distance. "How did you even know I was here?" She questioned, her eyes reluctantly flickering back onto the contours of the Latina's features.
"Well, when Brittany came running into the locker room screaming 'Quinn's back! Quinn's back and she has cotton candy hair' It kinda blew your cover... I could see your hair all the way from the back of the field, it kinda stands out like a fluorescent light" She paused for a moment, studying Quinn's features, her body language and the way she held herself. It was something she had begun to do out of impulse during Freshman year – always looking for a way to tear her down to gain her position as Cheer Captain; but as the years progressed and they grew closer, she did it out of care and compassion, just as she was doing at that very moment. She knew Quinn had always been the type of person to keep everything locked away, so she decided she would act as if she hadn't noticed anything and wait for her to explain.
"Get up. I'm already late and I'm not walking in there without an excuse" She motioned for Quinn to stand up and follow her to the choir room, but much to her dismay she didn't budge.
"Don't use me as an excuse, Santana." She mumbled, hidden meaning behind the word she emphasised, not really caring if Santana bothered to read into it or not. Quinn thought about just standing up and walking away, but she knew she'd never see her beloved iPod again if she did, not until she confronted Santana, that and the fact she was afraid she'd start swaying if she stood up right now.
"Quinn..." Her words escaped a little softer than she had originally intended them to, she involuntarily placed a hand against Quinn's shoulder, secretly hoping she wouldn't brush her away and act as if she had forgotten everything that went down before she disappeared.
Hazel eyes flickered over to the tanned feminine hand on her shoulder, fighting the urge to warm to her touch, as well as brushing her off – she was conflicted, as always, but she decided it would just be easier if she complied with the Latina's request, something told her Santana wasn't planning on leaving without her even if Quinn was willing to go or not. She purposely sighed forcefully as she grabbed her folder and stood up, swaying a little to the side as she did.
Santana kept her hand placed on her shoulder as she steadied her balance. "Woah, you good?" She questioned, leaning in slightly as she studied Quinn's movements – not wanting her to lose balance and trip down the flight of steps. "Maybe you should go first..." She motioned for her to walk ahead of her. As they began walking slowly down the steps, Santana held her hands out discretely at either side of Quinn – just in case she decided to sway again.
Quinn tried to ignore Santana's caring gestures, which she obviously thought Quinn wouldn't notice and began focusing on not giving herself away - that was the last thing she wanted to do. If anyone found out about her un-prescribed pill addiction, she'd have a lot of explaining to do, explaining which she wasn't going to do willingly, any time soon.
As they rounded the corner towards the choir room, Quinn came to a sudden halt, panic-stricken as she began to run scenarios through her head, of what everybody might say or ask her. She watched as Santana continued to walk on, not having realised that Quinn had stopped, watching as the pleats in the Latina's cheerio skirt danced with each graceful step she took. After a few seconds Santana realised Quinn was no longer by her side, turning around to investigate, a questioning look plastered across her features.
"I can't go in there" Quinn stated blankly, her eyes flickering towards the door to the choir room.
Santana bit down on the inside of her lower lip in thought before slowly walking back to meet Quinn. "Yes you can, I'll sit beside you, and if anyone says anything I'll show them a little Lima Heights hospitality" One side of her mouth tugged up at the corners, displaying a comforting half smile as she reasoned with her friend, hoping to persuade her to face everybody.
Hazel eyes flickered from the closed door in the distance to meet chocolaty brown orbs, feeling a sense of comfort from Santana's words knowing that the feisty Latina looked for any chance possible to tear down any member of the Glee Club. Without breaking eye contact, she gave a small nod of her head.