-Clematis-

One small mistake leads to the untimely death of Annabel Swan. However, fate has another idea in store for the young teen. Unfortunately, it doesn't involve a beating heart. Pre-Twilight.

A/N: I've made slight changes to Charlie's age, making him older than he was in the book when he met Renee so I could manipulate it to fit into my story. Also, I felt I should mention, this does eventually lead off into Twilight and the other three books. But it begins before Bella is born, around the time Renee and Charlie are still together.

Anyway—I apologize for any spelling errors, I'll most likely come back to re-edit. Enjoy, feel free to review if you wish.

1987 – June 24th

I don't remember how it happened.

I don't remember it at all.

All I did know was that he needed me, yet I couldn't force myself through the front door. The guilt at that point was enough to eat me alive and I couldn't help but laugh bitterly at the irony of it. My stomach flipped and churned, leaving an uncomfortable pain in its wake—quite similar to hunger pains. The burn in my throat was pushed aside with ease and in its place a deep sensation of regret.

My hands were already trembling as I played with the hem of my torn, not to mention rain soaked, shirt. I haven't showered in a month, I came to realize. But there didn't seem a point to it any more. I didn't smell and at first I was shocked at the discovery, yet now there was very little to be shocked over. Life is nothing but a sweet little lie. Death is just a cold reminder.

Any still, I couldn't hold ether. I didn't know if I was alive or dead or somewhere in between, all the while being stuck in a world of torment because I just couldn't knock on a stupidly breakable door. It was ridiculous, never in my whole life had I been scared of walking into my own home—though, I doubt I could call it as much any more.

All I wanted at this very moment was my dad and I was struggling to even go through with it. He would have the answers, wouldn't he? A dad is supposed to help his daughter in her utmost time of need, it was in his nature to protect and guide but for the first time I held the painful feeling of dread because what if he didn't recognize me? I barely recognize me.

My stomach twisted again and I felt my eyes cloud over, blurring my vision. I bit down on my lower lip, raising my hand to knock before freezing and dropping it back down to my side in defeat. Why couldn't I do it? It wasn't hard. Just a simple tap, really—it wouldn't cause any disastrous effects, would it? Dad might go into shock and Renee... I swallowed thickly, Renee might go into an early labour if I startled them with my sudden appearance. I couldn't allow that to happen, it would just cause a huge mess.

Maybe I could catch my dad before he heads off to work in the morning—does he even still go to work?-or maybe I could wait until Renee leaves. Either way, it was bound to cause a ripple effect. I surprise dad by showing up out of the blue, he calls Renee, Renee goes into shock, premature baby is born.

I shook my head furiously. It might not work out like that. Renee doesn't seem like the type of person to simply go into shock, or a panic either. She would be elated, or maybe she wouldn't. I could never tell with her. If anyone has the ability to shock me, it would definitely be that woman. No normal person has her type of reactions.

"She's not coming back, is she?"

The voice startled me, slightly muffled through the door. But I heard it as clear as day, as if the person were standing right next to me. However, it was the familiarity of the voice that caused me to stiffen and my head to snap round at the door, as if attempting to see through it. I listened closely, hearing two fluttering heartbeats coming from inside.

I held my breath, waiting for them to continue.

"Charlie..." it was Renee, concern lacing her usually light and airy voice. I held back a snort. "Please, tell what to say to make you feel better."

"Nothing is going to bring back my little girl," I swallowed at the sound of his voice and the guilt doubled, hitting me harder than before, almost knocking the air out of me. Dad didn't sound like dad any more. "You heard them, they're no longer looking for her, they're looking for her body." his voice cracked and I clamped a hand over my mouth, stopping the small whimper before it could escape me.

Suddenly, my resolve began to wane and I took an unsteady step back off the porch. It felt like something was pressing down on my chest, ready to crush me. It caused my knees to shake and tremble, ready to give out on me. My throat clenched tightly while I held back a sob and my eyes continued to blur with unshed tears.

I wanted so badly to scream and shout. I'm here, I'm here. I'm fine, I'm right here. I wanted to scream it so badly but I held myself back.

"Charlie, we don't know-"

-"No." dad mumbled, causing Renee to hesitate "There was too much blood, I-we saw that. As much as I want to believe, god I want to believe she's alive. It's been two months Renee, she would have turned up otherwise. I just want to find her," he sucked in a shaky breath "And bright her home."

"Just like that?" Renee's cold tone startled me and I blinked up at the front door in bewilderment. "You would give up on Anna? She could be out there right now and you're just giving up?"

Renee. Always the god-damn optimist.

"Enough, Renee." dad grumbled back. I could almost picture him in my head, his hands tugging harshly at his hair and his eyes clenched shut in frustration—attempting to rein in his emotions. He was never really good at emotional displays of affection or anything really. Yet, I was the one this time. The one that caused him this grief and he couldn't even show it without feeling ashamed. Probably trying to play the martyr, to look strong in front of his wife.

A fat load of good that did. Renee is relentless when she's determined. She would poke and prod and eventually dad was going to snap, I just couldn't tell when or how. It was always a guessing game when it came to him.

"No Charlie, not enough. What if it was Bella? What if it was her out there?" I stilled further, blinking once again, shock brushing against my insides.

"Bella? What-"

-"Your daughter." Renee corrected in a clipped tone and for a moment I thought I was going to lose balance of myself and topple over.

"But I thought we were going to wait until..." his voice drifted off in a whisper, clearly just as shocked as me. "Bella," he repeated, as if in a daze.

"Isabella," Renee murmured "Bella for short."

The noise of quick footsteps met my ears, chairs shifting and fabric ruffling. The two fluttering heartbeats from inside were steady and even, one slightly faster than the other. I listened closer, my brow puckering in concentration and I leaned forward an inch, straining my ears further.

Ah, there it is.

A third heartbeat. Quieter but just as loud now that I was focusing in on it. Realization now hit me and all I could do was stand there with conflicting emotions. Happiness, sorrow, worry, anger.

I'm going to be a big sister. The thought startled me and I took a step back. It was the first time I ever thought about it, even before the big change. I knew I was going to be a sister before, but now knowing the gender made it all the more real. Putting a name to something I could only imagine to what it-she-will look like.

Would she look like dad or Renee? Or maybe a mix of both? What would she be like?

The influx of questions continued to zoom around in my head, but only one brought me back down to reality. Barely a question, more of a statement. She can't know me. It was enough to rip me apart as more guilt trickled in and I took one more step away from the house, now fully ignoring the conversation behind the door. It was as simple as that. I couldn't bring my sister, who wasn't even born yet, into harm's way. It would kill our dad if anything happened to her too.

It was in black and white, as much as I protested against it, I knew I was dangerous. I could feel it inside me like a caged animal, wrestling against the bars and screeching to be let loose. I'm a monster and I couldn't handle the thought of my own dad fearing me, let alone a little sister.

My decision began to firm up the more I thought about it. If I just stayed away then I could ensue the safety of my family, I wouldn't have to worry about bringing them harm. But at the same time, I was very, very selfish. If I stayed I could make sure nothing bad happens again, or anything as bad as what happened to me.

I would just have to stay out of sight.

All I needed to do was watch from afar.

It would be enough, at least for now.

Perhaps you're wondering about the whole 'poor newborn control', and I will answer you this, everything will be revealed in due time. But for now, I will mention that Annabel has a slightly larger grip on her self control, but it does not mean she can't slip up. As for her diet, I will leave that for the next chapter.