AN: Enjoy.
She stepped out into the cold night. She pulled her jacket tighter as she wrapped her arms around herself to shield off the cold wind. Her heals were loud against the cement, she liked to count along to her steps. There was no one else out on the streets, it was just her, the night sky and the moon that lit up the world and directed her where to go.
She was trying not to think about him. But every time she was alone with her thoughts they always somehow managed to find their way back to the memories she refused to forget. Her hair was unmanageable as it flew in all directions. She could feel her nose beginning to freeze and her fingers starting to tingle. She was almost there, just one more block and she could have her peace.
She turned the corner towards the park and just as she blinked she felt someone hit her shoulder. It was the crossing of two bodies, negative and positive electrons striking together, two strangers who just so happened to be in the same place at the same time exactly. Her body jerked upwards and she threw out her hands to catch herself and apologize.
"I'm so sorry," they said in unison.
That voice. She knew it anywhere. It was burned into her heart for eternity. It was the only voice that had the power to calm her down and sooth her when nothing else could. It was also the only voice that sent chills up her spine and caused her to shiver. The voice that she so desperately tried to forget but could not, because of all the compassion it held.
Her eyes slowly glanced upwards at the same time as his. Her hair was still blowing everywhere, a single strand was sticking to her lips but she couldn't bring herself to move it. She couldn't bring herself to move at all.
"Jude," he looked at her intensely watching her hair swirl around her like a mermaids underwater.
"I…" she pointed ahead of her, to the place he had just come from. They used to go to the park together all the time… she never thought he went alone as she did.
She couldn't take her eyes off him, as he her. Everything ended so wrong. They never got a chance to truly be together and express their love. Everything was over as soon as it started and they both knew it. They missed an entire part of their lives together because of one simple mistake. They changed their future in an instant because neither was willing to admit to what happened. And now it was too late. Everything was different now, everything had changed. Five years later and they were different people, who still shared one thing in common—their love for one another.
Now here they were, both standing together, his arm on her elbow, burning her. She wished he would remain touching her for the rest of her life. The warmth that he emitted was so strong and overwhelming that she forgot she was even freezing just a second ago.
They stood there for what felt like eternity. Neither saying a word and neither moving, just watching each other, imagining how their lives would have been if everything had gone how it was originally supposed to. Would they be married? Have children? Would she still be a singer and he a producer? Would they still love each other as much as they do right now?
She imagined his fingers interlaced with hers. Together walking to the park where they would lay under the stars and confess their undying love for one another. She would be leaning into him, her head resting on this shoulder, he would lean over, kiss her forehead and no words would need to be spoken because they understood each other. But it was only a dream, because in reality they both had moved on. He had a girlfriend who wasn't her and she had a boyfriend who wasn't him.
So there they were again, on a cold night, engulfed in each others radiant warmth.
The rain slowly started to fall. The small drizzles rested on Jude's eyelashes but she didn't blink, afraid that if she did, he wouldn't be there when she opened her eyes again. The world seemed to be moving in slow motion. The echoed sirens of a fire truck rushed by but neither of them was distracted, only able to look at each other.
He stared into her eyes, and in her eyes he saw what was on his mind. They were both thinking the same thing, how life would have been. How life would have been perfect. He shifted his weight from one leg to another. The intensity was starting to eat at him. He had waited for this moment for years. He walked passed her house every day for a year hoping to run into her and never caught a glimpse of her once, and now here, five years later she was standing right in front of him, crying on the inside for what would have been.
The butterflies in his stomach were going crazy. He couldn't take his arm off her elbow. He tightened his grip, afraid to let go because of the fear that she would run. He wanted to pull her towards him, but he resisted, the desire was creeping inside of him like a lump in his throat.
He knew she felt the same way, it was the reason she wasn't blinking and he wasn't letting go.
She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out, she looked up at him, only to see him moving closer towards her, unexpectedly his lips crashed onto hers. Suddenly the familiarity that was him came rushing back to her, the curve of his mouth, and the softness of his tongue, the warmth of his mouth on hers. Every detail she had once memorized but since forgotten was back.
He pulled her close to him, her body fitting perfectly against his like two missing pieces to a puzzle. His hand ran down her back and then up to cradle her face, he rubbed his thumb along her cheek before suddenly pulling away, short of breath.
"Let's go somewhere," he suggested.
Her mouth hung open but the words were not there. She suddenly lost the ability to speak, just when she needed it the most.
"Just for tonight," he insisted, "Just for tonight," his fingers were trying to manage her hair.
She couldn't, she had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend. She was not the cheating type, he on the other hand, well she couldn't speak for him, he had a reputation, but she wasn't that kind of girl. After he broke her heart she vowed she would never be the other woman, let alone cheat herself.
"Yeah," she barely whispered. There must be something in the air tonight, because all this feels so right. He brought his hand down and laced his fingers with hers.
They walked quickly in the opposite direction she was headed before she ran into him. Their steps were long and fast, her free arm was wrapped around his and he kept looking at her, the same grin on his face that he used to have whenever she was near.
After two blocks, four flights of stairs and struggling to find his keys, he got the door open. She could no longer resist the temptation and kissed him again. His taste was so refreshing the first time, she only wanted more. Her shirt was off in a matter of seconds as was his. Neither thinking about the past, present or future, they found their way to his bed where he gently laid her down on her back, he stopped to get a good look at her, to see that this was really happening before he kissed her neck and left a trail of kisses back to her mouth.
Their bodies were tangled together in the crisp white sheets as they slept. Their legs intertwined, keeping each other warm. Together they could stay like this forever and in their dreams they would.
But even in their dreams they both knew that tomorrow would come and they would have to go back to their normal lives. Tomorrow they would go back to being friends, if not strangers. But tonight they were lovers, turning their situation into the best they could offer each other, showered with rogue kisses, tangled tongues and moist lips. Their sweat ran together as they let each other into their worlds they had previously never known.
Jude turned in her sleep, her body now facing his, she opened her eyes to glance at him to find that he was already looking at her. He smiled at her brushing his hand gently across her face, before she closed her eyes and drifted back into a peaceful sleep.
The headlights from passing cars continuously passed by the window , the cold air from outside was creeping in through the crack in the window sending shivers over her entire body. She could feel the cold filling the room from the hardwood floors underneath her, unconsciously she to move closer to him causing him stir in his sleep and opened his eyes.
"Hi," he beamed.
"I have to go," she couldn't look away from him, "This isn't who I am, this is never who I wanted to be, I just can't do this. I turned for you, you were the exception and I'm sorry."
A million thoughts were running through her head. Her body wished to stay here, in his bed, with him forever, to leave her old life behind and welcome with open the arms the life she always dreamed of, but she was rational and she had to think everything through. As much as she wished they didn't have significant others, they did and she had to do the right thing by getting up and walking away.
"Jude… stay," he reached for her hand as she sat up with the sheet wrapped around her naked body. The way she was glowing in the moonlight was everything he always dreamed, this is how he wished he could wake up every morning. "Stay here with me, float away here with me, a few more hours and you can go back to your life before, I promise."
"I can't. I'm sorry. I have a life, a world of my own and I am betraying it by being here right now."
He sat up in bed and moved closer to her. He rested against her back, kissing her neck. She turned her head to look at him as he kissed her warm lips again. She lost herself at that moment and returned the passion that he was giving her. She broke away from him, bring her hand up to her lips, she turned away and like that they were back to being friends.
He began to kiss her again, he left traces across her shoulder and on her bare back, "We are wasting time by sitting here, we only have hours before the sun comes up and we are on our seperate ways, tomorrow we go back to being friends," but tonight we are lovers.
He continued to whisper sweet nothings into her ears, love filling ever fiber of her being. It was moments like these that caused her to fall back into his arms, repeating every movement of the night.
The evening started with a kiss and would end with one too. The sun began to rise and Jude opened her eyes again. She could see the blue sky getting brighter with every blink. She could feel him lying awake next to her, neither of them had fallen back asleep, instead they just rested in each others arms knowing they would never get this moment back.
She began to stir and he knew she was getting restless. She had tried to leave once and he coaxed her back into staying with him, but this time he knew she would leave. The sun was rising and it was tomorrow.
He was cold the second she left his embrace, but he wouldn't tell her. Instead he watched as she sat up, this time basking in the sunlight. She pulled her shirt on first, and then slid on her pants, she brought her knee up to his chest and she put on one shoe and then the other. She stood up and picked her jacket up off the floor. She looked down at him, he was watching her and a smile crept onto her face.
She stood watching him, neither moving nor saying a word. He motioned with his eyes for her to come to him. She rested her hands on the bed as she leaned into him for one last kiss. Their lips met and with each passing second it grew more intense. They were putting the past five years and the rest of their lives into this one kiss, knowing that it would be their last. Neither willing to let go, he finally pulled away, choking on the tears he was so desperately holding back.
"I love you Jude," he whispered in her ear. She looked him in the eyes and nodded her head ever so slightly.
"I know," she whispered back, "and I love you."
"I know," he smiled, "I've always known."
Suddenly she wanted to beg him for answers, yell at him and scream at him why he didn't fight harder for her. Why when he knew they were meant to be together he let her go. This was fault. They could have had the life they always wanted but he let her walk away and as much as she loved him, she would always blame him for that.
And again he was letting her walk out on him. She stood up from the bed and began to walk out the door. She looked back at him, hoping to see him getting up to fight for her one last time, but he just watched her go. Her heart was breaking on the inside, as much as she wanted to go back to her life, she wanted him to want her more.
"Goodbye Tommy," she whispered as she closed the door behind her, knowing she would never see him again.
He would never hear her confession, and he would never know she would have stayed with him forever if he had just asked. He would never know that she would never love another as much as she loved him.
Separately they would go on living their lives, longing for the one night they shared together, wishing they were lovers and not just friends.
It was tomorrow, back to being friends, lovers… love… lovers. Just for the night, one night… love you and tomorrow say goodbye.