This is the fiction I wrote with my co-writer: hnaytroidep . tumblr . com. The idea was originally mine.
There will be a day that I stop writing fics about godly bromance. Whom am I kidding? That day would never come.
Warning: Contain heavy spoiler of Thor: The Dark World. The scenario here is a bit different from the movie. Thor was off to Midgard with Jane and came back with a surprise. And Loki was not going to like that.
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Being locked up in Asgard dungeon was, slowly but surely, driving Loki, our God of Mischief, into raging madness. There was almost nothing to do but reading, or lying in bed looking up at the white, brightly lit ceiling, if it was counted as doing something. The other cells also had plenty of prisoners. And after one or two days, those scum decided to have a fight. Chaos ensued, then the result would usually be death. Except for that, nothing of excitement ever happened here. These days, Loki was on the verge of committing suicide. No doubt, death would free him from this eternal boredom.
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On such a day, Loki woke up to find something hideous on his table. That particularly hideous something happened to be a frilly and pink, heart-shaped paper box (not to mention badly wrapped). And this was truly the last thing Loki expected to see in this situation. However, open the box wouldn't bring any harm either.
So after scanning the box for any sign of danger, Loki opened it and found something even more surprising. Inside were little odd-looking pieces of dark-brown sweets he recognized as chocolate.
"Isn't this an Earth thing? Who could send me this?" he thought.
Holding up the box, he could feel a faint trace of Frigga's magic surrounding the box. What surprised him was that she would never give him a present in this condition. It must have been someone else' creation and Frigga had helped in sending it to him.
Putting it on the table far in the corner, Loki decided to let that thing be, but then he sensed someone in the corner, hiding from his sight.
"Stop hiding. You have never learnt how to conceal yourself from me properly, brother."
"Loki, I can see that you are well," said Thor, stepping into the light.
"Spare me your greetings, Thor. We both know that you do not mean it," snapped Loki. "After all this time, you suddenly have a heart to visit your dearest brother. Or is it because Odin finally gets tired of my existence and decides to execute me in public?"
The tension in the atmosphere was so thick it was nearly touchable. And Loki loathed it.
"It seems that your time in confinement have not changed you at all, brother. Ever the cautious," replied Thor tiredly. "But no, that is not the case. I come here to …"
'Let me guess,' said Loki, irrately. "You come here to make sure I eat the thing inside that box. You made all the sweets yourself, yes?"
"Actually, Jane has helped with the recipe. But I wrapped the present myself!" claimed Thor proudly.
"Your little mortal lover agreed to help you? I really must check them for poison," spat Loki.
"Just hear me for once, Loki," pleaded Thor, ignoring the mockery, his posture stilled. "I assure you they are perfectly fine! Today is called Valentine's Day in Midgard; the day people give chocolate to the ones they love. Therefore, I thought it would be a marvelous idea to give you some. Jane said it would strengthen our brotherhood. And chocolate does make everything better," assured Thor.
"Are there truly no boundaries to your foolishness? Have you not realized that we are not petty Midgardians? Do you really think I will happily accept that poor excuse of a gift?" asked Loki.
"Listen, Loki! I - "
"No, you listen! I will not bother myself with stupid Earthlings' celebrations! Open your eyes, Thor. Our so-called brotherhood is built on nothing but lies. You don't even have a brain, do you? You actually think a box of homemade sweets will compensate for all the pain I have suffered and turn darkness into light? I remember that you have never taken my advice. Now you are following each and every word that mortal woman says, may I add, willingly. You act as though you are her nice little puppy. Such disgrace - "
"Hold your tongue, Loki. Your taunts no longer have any effect on me," Thor growled.
"Look at yourself. You are even growling like a dog defending its master, are you not?" smirked Loki.
"Enough! Shut up Loki, or I will rip your tongue off," bellowed Thor, hand already reached to Mjolnir.
"Well, without my tongue, I would hardly enjoy the sweets, would I not?" Loki's smirk got even wider. "Thor, how can you go so violent on your own brother? What would Mother say?"
…
"I'm leaving," scolded Thor after a long pause, turning to the exit.
"Giving up already? Then take the box with you. The chamber is so small and that thing is taking quite a lot of space," said Loki resentedly.
"Even if I want to, I can't. The shield, remember?" smirked Thor this time, tapping the golden shield, making it shimmer with energy. "Mother has charmed the box. No one but you can touch it. It is either you eating them or living with them for eternity. The choice is yours to make, brother."
"Were it not for the damn shield, I would throw them in your face," said Loki angrily.
"One bite will suffice. How hard can it be?" asked Thor.
"If you insist that they are to be eaten, why don't you eat them yourself?" questioned Loki.
"I did taste them, brother. Besides, I made them just for you. It would lose its meaning if I ate all of them. Have fun eating chocolate. Farewell." With that said, Thor was gone, left Loki alone with the pink chocolate box.
"Just my luck. Frigga's charms are impossible to break," muttered Loki.
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This just gave Loki a problem to solve: breaking Frigga's charm and getting rid of the wretched box. He tried everything possible, even invented some more spells. But all his effort ended up in vain. They just didn't work.
However, as Loki hated to admit, this was better than before, now that he had something to do, a riddle to solve.
Every night, before going to bed, he would put the box in the farthest corner of the room, out of his sight and out of his mind. But in the morning, he would always found that box at the end of his bed. Just a glimpse of it made Loki's blood boil with hatred and pain. But there was also another kind of feeling that he could not quite define. How could something so small evoke so much? Loki, god of mischief, who had always been the manipulator, now was being manipulated by a box of sweets. Oh, how much he loathed himself for being so weak, so vunerable this way.
Sometimes, Loki wondered why he just couldn't eat the damn chocolate and be done with it. Thor was never known for his talent in cooking. However, it was not the fear of the possibly-most-disgusting-thing-he-had-ever-tasted that held him from eating, it was his pride. To eat it would prove that Thor had won and that he had surrendered. He had promised himself not to have any kind of affection towards Thor, except for hatred. And what did Thor do? He ruined it by giving him a chocolate box as a token of love! Thor was undeniably unbelievable.
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Weeks and weeks had passed since Thor's encounter. But to Loki, things were far from returning to normal. Very so often, Loki found himself sitting and staring blankly in the direction of which he had put the box. Why hadn't Thor come back? Surely Thor had to come back to check on him, didn't he? Loki's mind was tangled with thousands of questions he could not answer, all of which concerned a certain big, masculine, and blond-hair god of thunder. He hated the way Thor made him feel: helpless to the sentiment he did not know to exist in his heart.
No matter how much it hurt to see Thor, Loki realized that he longed for his brother's company. He knew that Odin had forbidden anyone to visit him, especially Thor and Frigga. To have that little chat, Thor must have asked mother for help. But it wouldn't hurt him to come back again, wouldn't he? Oh no, who in his right mind would want to spend time with his insane adoptive brother when he could be having 'quality time' with the mortal woman he loved? There used to be just Thor and him. Now, after a few days in exile in Midgard, Thor had replaced him with a woman. For the sake of Odin's eye patch, it was a mortal! Had it not been for the petty mortal's suggestion, things would not have turned out like this. And then there was Mother. She must have been thrilled when Thor came and her for help. Loki knew awfully well how much Mother wanted Loki back to the family. But to him, her hope was like an absurd dream that would never come true. Or may be, Mother just wanted Loki to have some sort of entertainment.
"I let you know, mother. If this is your idea of a joke, it is not funny at all," mumbled Loki to the ceiling.
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That night, after spending hours trying not to stare at the box, Loki decided to go to bed. But sleep did not come to him so easy. Finally, his mind couldn't handle the strain. He drifted off to a tiring sleep. And he had no idea what dream would come to him.
The sound of a boy echoed in Loki's mind as he fell into the web of the land of dreams.
"Hey, Loki! Loki!"
Just as his mind was wandering on the edge of absolutely blissful unconsciousness, all of a sudden from nowhere came loud voice and strong arms waking him, aruptedly and violently pulled him out of his peaceful slumber. Eyes cracked open, he angrily glared at the only person who dared waking him at this unearthly hour.
"What is it, Thor? There'd better be a good reason for all of this, or I will …" mumbled Loki sleepily.
"Brother, look what I've found!" exclaimed an over-excited Thor without letting Loki have the chance to finish his not-so-convincing threat. A huge grin stretched across Thor's face.
"You see, I was hungry so I snuck out of bed into the kitchen, with hope of finding something to eat. But I found nothing." His lips curved into a frown, and, for a split fo a second, Loki thought that was, well, adorable.
"Except for this," said Thor. The grin, now became enormous, returned to his face.
Thor was holding out a small, brown, plain box. Loki took the box and shook it – there seemed to be something inside. He tried to pull the lid open; only to find it was sealed shut.
"Is this not interesting?" said Thor eagerly. "I tried every way possible: forcing it to open with all my might, cutting, smashing. I even threw a boulder on it, but it didn't even leave a scratch."
"I thought after all these years you must have realized that some things are supposed to be solved by brain rather than brawn. Guess I was wrong," said Loki, a teasing smile ghosting his thin lips. "This charm is actually quite easy to break. Give me a moment."
Loki's hand skillfully hovered over the box as he chanted in some complex and incomprehensible-to-Thor language.
-Click- The box snapped open. Sweet scent of sugar and cocoa lingered in the air. Inside were small pieces of some kind of dark brown material.
"You are, no doubt, the most amazing brother in all of the nine realms!" said Thor cheerfully, while his hand smacked the younger's back as an expression of compliment. "Oh, this smells so good and I am starving!" Thor's hand reached out to grab a handful of that mysterious brown thing.
"Wait, Thor, we don't even know what that is. As far as I can tell, it might be poisoned," said Loki cautiously. But it seemed that his warning came a bit too late.
"Oh, don't be so uptight, brother! Something smells and tastes this delicious could not possibly be poisoned!" Thor grinned, all brown-teeth, at his brother's face, which was still glazed with worry. Thor's eyes glinted mischievously as a thought flashed his mind.
"To trick a god of trickery, this should be fun …"
Thor's face suddenly contorted, his body twisted as he fell down onto the floor, shaking uncontrollably. The worried look on Loki's face now turned into absolute horror as he realized what was happening. Eyes wide opened, he ran to Thor's side.
"THOR!" - He yelled, catching his brother just in time before Thor's face hit the cold, hard floor. Loki's hands were shaking uncontrollably, his mind tried to think rationally for a solution, tried to remember any curing spell he had learnt all these years. But none came to his mind. His brain was unable to function at all, not when hearing his older brother's uneven breath and holding Thor's trembling body in his hands. For the first time in Loki's life, he felt helpless.
In utter panic, Loki didn't notice any movement when one of Thor's hand fly to his open mouth and put something in it. Not until hearing his brother roaring laughter did he notice something strange. His brother was laughing! And at the same time, he tasted something funny. A piece of that brown thing was being forced into his mouth.
Eyes still wide opened, now not with shock but with frustration, Loki tried to spit the thing out, but his effort was in vain, because both of Thor's hands were clapping on his mouth, forcing it tightly shut.
"Oher, uh ahard! Et ie oh!" spluttered Loki. (Brother, you bastard! Let me go!)
"HAHAHAHA! Gotcha! Loki, just eat the thing, will you? I will only let go when you have finished," said Thor, still shaking with laughter.
If glares could make people drop dead, Thor surely would have died the most painful death ever. However, after being glared by Loki that way so many times, Thor had already developed a Loki's-glare immune system.
Loki's hands were wrestling with Thor's; trying to pull them off his mouth, but it was no use since Thor was far stronger than he was. Still glaring at Thor with murderous intent, Loki tried to inch away from Thor's grasp. This just made Thor hold harder. After a long moment of unsuccessful fighting, Loki admitted his defeat and chewed the thing. A satisfied grin spread across Thor's face as he let go of Loki's mouth.
"Well, how does it taste, little brother?" asked Thor with anticipation.
"It does not taste as bad as I imagined," sighed Loki. "What were you thinking, Thor? Have you no brain? You could have been dead!" said Loki bitterly. "I should not have cared for someone so stupid."
That effectively resorted Thor's smirk into an apologetic pout. "I am so sorry, Loki. I did not mean to …" then that annoying grin returned. "You should have seen your own face Loki, when I fell down and then when I pushed that thing into your mouth, you …"
"Oh, shut up. Now that you have what you want, I suggest we go back to sleep," said Loki, already half way climbing on the bed.
This was the time for Thor to bring out one of his most dangerous weapons – the hurt puppy look. "Going to sleep? The night is still young and we have not even finished this delicious treat!" said Thor.
"No, no, no. Don't give me that look, it is useless," said Loki.
"But Thor does look like a cute little puppy, does he not?" - stated a voice in the back of his mind.
Waving it away, Loki had tried to look stern … for three seconds before he gave up. "Alright, come here brother. Sit on the bed, or you might transform into a real puppy."
Thor's face brightened up at once, so bright Loki thought he could feel even the warm light of the summer sun radiated off his face. He hopped on his brother's bed, all too much gleefully. He looked so happy.
"Can I have another?" asked Loki after a long pause.
"Sure," said Thor, looking radiant, passing Loki the box.
"I have never eaten something like this before. May be it is from another realm," wondered Loki, looking at the box thoughtfully. Finally, he picked up a piece.
"When I am king if Asgard, I will eat this everyday. This tastes so nice," said Thor dreamily.
Loki's gaze shitfed to his brother.
"So nice…"
He wished he had learn the magic to stop time. To bottle up this moment and keep it forerver. But he knew full well that when the box's empty, they'd go back to sleep, seperated and alone in the dark rooms.
He let the piece of sweets slip through his fingers back into the box.
Just a little while longer.
That night, amidst the silence of the night and the cold silver light of the moon, a corner of Odin's castle was filled with warmth and laughter.
Loki's eyes snapped open.
"Only a dream," mumbled he. Nevertheless, Loki knew it wasn't merely a dream. It was a memory from so long ago he had almost forgotten its existence.
They were children then, with all sorts of mischieves up in their sleeves. They had always had each other back. They had grown up together, they had fought together. Inseperable. Now, all they did was trying to slit each other's throat. Well, in Thor's case it was smashing Loki's head with Mjolnir. Loki could no longer reach for Thor, as Thor no longer came to Loki for help whenever he had trouble. The look in Thor's eyes still haunted Loki. Those saphire blue eyes had once looked at him with complete trust and ovewhelming protectiveness. Since when did they turn into sorrow and pronounced hatred?
Even though Thor was not here, he had always been plaguing Loki's mind. Even in dreams Loki could not help but thinking about his brother.
What is Thor doing right now? Does he know how much I think of him? Think of the days we were close?
Loki's mind was full of question, so much that it strained him. He was unable to stop tears rolling down his face. He didn't even bother to wipe the tears away.
Loki walked towards the box and picked it up from where he had left it last night. It still looked good as new. Thor had never been the one to do things like making chocolate. The fact that Thor did make the sweets remained as a surprise to Loki. He remembered when they were little, Thor used to say cooking was for servants, his job was to eat the food. Despite every unforgivable wrongdoing Loki had done, Thor even gave him a present in hope of restoring their relationship. He could see Thor's effort in the gift. It might not look nice, but it was a proof that Thor still cared for him. Their relationship had perhaps been tainted with lies from the beginning, but it was built on genuine affection. Who was he to refuse Thor? None could say no to Thor's persistence. Maybe, just maybe, their love had not been a total loss. It was reversible.
And so Loki's mind came up with a plan. This time he was willingly to sacrifice his own selfish pride to bring Thor back to his side. He would accept his brother's offer to eat the chocolate, not alone, but with Thor. May be this could bring back in Thor the memory of that night when they shared their first pieces of chocolate together.
Now Loki was able to realize what feeling was boiling up inside of him all this time. It was the kind of feeling he had experienced so often when he was with Thor. It was love, a state of affection that had so long ceased to exist in his heart. Love, a word so sweet it burned from the tip of his tongue to the core of his soul each time he whispered it. He did not long for Thor's presence anymore, he craved it, he needed it, as a fish needs water.
Loki did not care if Thor did not love him back. To see Thor's happy face and hear his roaring laughter again was enough. Thor's happiness would be Loki's, even if it meant he had to endure the fact that Thor was with that wretched woman, then so be it.
All he needed to do now was waiting for his brother return.
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Weeks of pointless waiting slowly turned into months. Loki's eager anticipation turned into disappointment and bitterness. Thor had not come, and so had Mother. He was left forgotten.
The box, the box was still here, lying on the table. Its existence was nothing but mockery. How could he be this foolish to think Thor would come back for him? He was not Thor's dearest anymore. He had easily been replaced with a woman, who had just met Thor less than a week. And then he had thought thousands of years would have meant something more. Guess he was wrong.
This thought only fueled his anguish. His inside was in turmoil. His mind felt like it could explode any day. So in the moment of uncontrollable rage, Loki released all his pent-up emotions on the box. He did what Thor had done so long ago to another box: trying to destroy the box with all his might. And the result was the same as before: not a single scratch.
Every spell he had cast on the box, it only blew up in his face. It was like the reflection of his humiliation. So Loki hollowed himself of any emotions, any feelings in order to keep him sane. But how in the Nine Realms could Loki let go of the thought of Thor?
In time like this, Loki wished he had not had the capability to feel at all. To become a heartless monster. He should not have let Thor trouble him this much. His mind was stormed and his judgement was clouded. He would not allow this to happen again. Thor was nothing but a mere distraction.
"I should not have cared for someone so stupid."
These words echoed through Loki's mind. He knew that he had once said it. But how couldn't he bring himself to stop caring? Somehow, Loki had to stop this turmoil within him, regardless of the cost. He should not keep dwelling in the land of madness. And so, he subdued all of his sentiments, buried them in the depth of his broken heart. Then he wrapped himself in layers upon layers of feigning indifference. Felt no more, hurt no more.
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Time flew at the speed of light, and here Loki sat, the exact spot where he had sit when Thor last visited him. He had long given up trying to break the spell on that chocolate box, and the hideous bright-pink thing was covered up with another spell of his, hidden from sight and perfectly blended into the white walls of his cell. It should have been forgotten, pushed into the darkest corners of his cell, and just disappeared into thin air as if it had never existed, along with his fleeting thoughts of some make-believe world where someone actually cared about him.
How foolish he must have been, to think that Thor, who shone such blinding light of battles and golden glory, would actually care about someone like him, an outcast, like a shadow in the background to contrast the light. It was Loki's mistake, what a shame, to have thought that ugly box of chocolate meant something, to have thought that maybe Thor remembered that day so many years ago.
Thor never came again. Not to check that box nor to see him. Perhaps it all was just a simple entertainment for Thor and his little woman, to bring Loki hope and crush it after.
In the end, all was but his unrealistic, or even desperate, fantasies. He let hatred and anger consume his mind, for that was the only way he could find a temporary escape.
Frigga just had to come to him at that most unfitting time. Why did she come? Was she here to mock? To judge? To laugh behind his back? To find entertainment? Just like Thor probably did. Stopped it this instant, just left him alone, left him be, Loki did not need to hear any more words of pretend affection.
"HE IS NOT MY FATHER!" Finally, he broke.
"Then am I not your mother?" asked Frigga, desperation flashed her eyes.
…
"You are not," he breathed out.
"Loki. You are always perceptive about everyone but yourself."
He waved his hand and Frigga's projection wavered, then scattered into nothingness. Again, Loki was left alone.
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"Loki, criminal of Nine Realms, I come to inform you about the Queen's death."
Each word rang in Loki's ears, loud and clear. And they were like knives cutting through his already tainted heart. His mind went numb for a moment. His hands were shaking. He tried to compose himself, tried to act as if the news had had no effect on him, pretending that it was just an everyday business.
Nodding to the guard, Loki waited as the guard marched towards the exit. Not until the guard was out of sight did Loki put down the book he was reading. Numbly, he made his way to the center of the cell. Only then, he could no longer hold back, and everything around him was blasted away.
Mother had died. Loki still could not believe this. Where had Thor been when she was murdered? Thor, a champion who had vowed to protect every single living soul in all of Nine Realms, now failed to save his own mother's life. Had Loki been there, he could have save Mother. The thought burned every fibre in his body. Loki wanted to scream until there was no sound leaving his throat. He wanted destruction, he wanted vengeance upon those who had killed her. But he was useless, here, in this dungeon. Forgotten, unseen, unheard, wiped out of history. He had done nothing but reading when Mother died. He wasn't even alllowed to attend her funeral, to say the last farewell. One of the two person who cared for him in this universe had left to a world where he could never see her again.
Grief washed over Loki. This time no more deception, no more lies, he let out all he was feeling inside. And so he screamed until his throat went sore. He smashed everything within his reach until his hands bled. It made him feel like he was doing something of use, the only way for him to escape this cruel reality, a reality where he had lost someone he loved and loved him back. He hurt himself in hope of easing the immeasurable pain in his heart.
He threw, and he thrashed. Glass was cracked and shattered, wood got burned into ash. All was left in that cell was just a mindless, blood-thirsty beast.
Then they caught his eyes.
In the far corner lied piles of thick, old leather-bound books that so long had been left untouched. Those were the only things that still left intact in his sight. Surely he couldn't have let those things get away undamaged, could he?
Fuming, Loki strode his way to that heap of paper, more than determined to create an even more wrecking sight. But by the time he reached the destination, he had temporarily forgot his intention.
Loki couldn't bring himself to do it, for each book represented a visit Mother had given him. And each was in the exact place he had put them months ago, drapped beneath a thin veil of dust. Blindingly, he grabbed the one on the top. Then he realized it wasn't a book, it was a paper box. Its wrapper was brown and slightly disfigured, though he could still make out some kind of pinkish dots all over it. After a moment of absent-minded staring, the memory of the box hit Loki in the face with the power of Mjolnir.
It was that chocolate box he had brought him so much discomfort over the past months. Frigga and Thor's last gift. Now, it was slowly rotten away in his hand.
The box was crumbling and turning to dust. The lid had vanished, revealing the content. Pieces and pieces of chocolate was melting into something unrecognisable. Mother's spell had long gone, leaving Thor's last expression of love to Loki bare to the horrible destructive ability of time.
"No, no, no!" murmured Loki. His eyes scanned the box as quickly as possible, desperately trying to find anything that was still savable.
Proof of Thor's affection was disappearing right in front of Loki, its dust was slipping through his fingers. Now it didn't matter to him how much he hated Thor, nor the fact that this was probably Thor's idea to make him suffer; Loki could never live with himself if he allowed this to happen.
Luckily, his eyes landed on the last piece in the middle that still looked edible. Just in time. Loki carefully picked it up, at the same time swiftly casted a reserve spell on it. With his two hands occupied, he dropped the box to the ground. And the moment it made a contact with the hard floor, the box dissolved away. But Loki couldn't care less, because now his mind was all on the little piece of chocolate in his hand.
Holding the chocolate with two fingers, he conjured a small piece of cloth from thin air and wrapped it around the chocolate. Then both of them disappeared into the pocket near his heart.
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Thor could now see that the sadness and grief of losing Frigga had taken its toll on his father, shrouding his mind in an unbridled thirst for blood. Slaughtering to the last of the Dark Elves wasn't the solution. Thor had to do what was needed. So he came up with a plan, but to launch it to full action would require help, hell a lot of it. But at least, he knew where to seek for it. Although this was not ideal, it was the best chance he had.
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The dungeon of Asgard hadn't changed at all after many millennia of its existence. Still the same dimly lit hallway led to a thick giant wooden door which served as the entrance. The same ominous atmosphere hovered above that brought chill crawling up the spines of the weak of heart. It had never been a welcoming sight to Thor, and so was this time.
Thor shuddered as he walked in. The sight of a seemingly endless maze of emty cells opened before his eyes, welcomed him to its eerie silence. A silence so tense that he could feel it soaking through every fibre in his body, damping his determination. The smell of death was lingering in the air. Obviously, the result of the chaos that had ensued earlier.
However, today was different. Today, Thor wasn't here to bring any scum in to the place he deserved, he was here to pull someone out. Well, temporarily.
Sighing, he set foot on the dreading path, almost running as the time limitation knicking at the back of his unsettled mind.
Time is running out.
The sound of his footsteps bounced off the cold stone walls, echoing in his ears, urging him to move faster and faster to the destination that awaited at the end. His destination, a cell that lied in the far corner, the only cell that was occupied, holding the one he had once called brother.
It was close, just right after this turn…