This was my first InuKai fanfic, inspired by a fanart I made a long time ago. Actually, I'm not sure which came first anymore, the fanfic or the fanart. Whatever. Prince of Tennis is Takeshi Konomi's - I wish I lived in Japan so I can make money on this sort of crack. :)

Psychotherapy
A Prince of Tennis fanfic
zhyndia k.

"Lie down and we'll discuss what has been troubling you lately."

Kaidoh had looked askance at the grass around his sempai. The question had been clear. "You can always use my lap as a pillow," he had suggested then, more of a joke, but it'd pleased him when his kohai took it as permission to do so. And then, with a few hesitant words, Kaidoh started to talk.

That had been three weeks and five days ago, after one particularly counterproductive tennis club practice that he noted as the climax of Momoshiro's and Kaidoh's long-standing emnity.The punishment of picking up the tennis balls they'd upset and clearing the clubroom after fifty laps had done nothing to improve their mood, but he was particularly worried about Kaidoh. He had known that Momoshiro would find an outlet for his anger - in videogames, in awful unhealthy fastfood, maybe even in a game with Echizen - but Kaidoh was a different thing entirely. Kaidoh would run and train until he was numb, and the over-exertion would be bad for his kohai's body. He had come up with what certainly sounded like a silly idea at the time, but Kaidoh certainly needed to learn how to manage his anger productively.

And that was why Kaidoh was now lying on the grass with his head on Inui's lap, speaking more openly with him than with anyone else. Inui had initially planned this to be a form of anger management but just hearing Kaidoh talk could make him forget of his original intentions.

"That smash idiot doesn't even train half as hard and people think his dunk smash is enough. So he's sneaky," Kaidoh grudgingly conceded, "but that doesn't do anything about his tennis - "

Inui was by far one of the most patient in the Seishun Gakuen Tennis Club, but hearing Kaidoh talk about Momoshiro, their rivalry, what new thing Momo did to tick him off, and other sundry things did make him feel - well, it wasn't jealousy.

No, it wasn't, he thought, steering his thoughts firmly away from thoughts of how he should get rid of the second-year, so he may have Kaidoh all for himself. There was a fanciful idea from a fairy tale, something about a poisoned apple - but in Momoshiro's case it should be a hamburger with a near-fatal dose of Aozu. In this situation, Ryoma, Momoshiro's constant companion in his hamburger escapades might serve as his 'prince'. But how to get the Aozu in the hamburger - prepare the burger patty with the concotion? Spray the vegetables with it?

"Sempai? Are you still listening?"

Belatedly he realized that his kohai was not talking anymore, and that his hand had gotten itself entangled in Kaidoh's hair.

"Yes, Kaidoh, I am," he said automatically.

"Fsssh." Kaidoh's trademark sound carried a multitude of meanings - disbelief he caught his sempai woolgathering, doubt, assurance. There seemed nothing more from Kaidoh.

It didn't seem like there was anything else to do but talk. "Can I speak about my findings?" At Kaidoh's nod he said, "You are very concerned about Momoshiro."

"Not by much."

"Ii data, it doesn't lie. I must admit that I am experiencing misgiving with the method I have used to clear your mind." Kaidoh looked up, and he continued, "I have determined that you are more partial to Momoshiro than to any other member of the te - "

"Chigau!" kaidoh bolted upright. The strength of Kaidoh's denial made Inui focus on his kohai. Was Kaidoh embarrassed by what he just said?

"It may mean you find his company the most conducive to improve, or more pleasant than - "

"I don't like that dunk idiot's company the most."

"Ah." The jump from partiality to liking was significant - very significant. Inui pushed up the glasses, thinking maybe his cheeks were as warm as they felt. "If nothing is bothering you then I guess these sessions must be discontinued. Now about your current training - "

He stood up, about to walk to his bag when he felt a hard tug on his pants' leg. Kaidoh clutched on, a slight line of pink on his cheeks, covered by his hair and bandana.

Inui, for all his calculations and theories, did not expect Kaidoh to stop him. He looked away, but couldn't resist looking back.

"Can we - continue?"

"If it's your wish, Kaidoh."

"But what I really want to do is to slam one Boomerang Snake straight to his face one day and he wouldn't know what hit him but being the dunk idiot that he is he'd just jump and - " Kaidoh said, settling down more comfortably. Inui glanced down at his kohai, amused. The psychotherapy goes on, with one important difference.

Kaidoh looked up at him from the circle of his arms. "What do you think?"

"Wouldn't it be easier to use a different method to extract your revenge? There are ways necessitating the use of an accomplice, in which you can introduce a foreign substance into his diet - something known to cause extreme discomfort for those who ingest it."

"Aozu?" Kaidoh looked squeamish at subjecting someone to Inui juice.

"I was thinking of being literary-minded, and using an apple - "

"Hamburger," Kaidoh corrected. "With Ryoma as his 'prince'."

And in that they were in perfect accord.

-end Psychotherapy-